A
female
age
41-50,
*adseye
writes:i have broke up about 3 months ago, because my ex was cheating on me, i had known that he was doing that and i forgave him and we decided to be good friends. just 2days before the break up, till i had a call a girl that he was cheating with and drive me crazy beside we were going to meet that night and he did don't call or even aproch while i was trying to call him to confirm the meeting , and because of the call and because he was not responding for my call to him because of the meeting i end up calling him brother (which he is my very close friend i even know him before my ex) and told him every thing , so my ex get mad and couse a big deal with me and him brother because he thinks that his brother likes me.so we end breaking up the relationship, now i know i should of wait till i talk to him and i should not called his brother that night, but because his brother was trying to protect me from all the pain that my ex (his brother doing to me) thats why he did what he did, now 3 months later i miss my ex i want him back to my life as friend, but i don't know what to do, i try to call him and talk to him , but he look like he doesn't know what he want , because first we talked nice to each other joke and tease about the break up , and then he changed and start talk dirty , second time when i called him trying to see what he want to clear things out between me and him he said he doesn't know what he want , i want to do something creative to him , like surprise him at work or doing some thing make him accept me back as friend , i need advice.
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male
reader, The old Man? +, writes (16 July 2009):
 My best advice is move on. Leave him alone. Let him move on with your life. If he wanted you, he'd talk to you.
Why do you need him in your life anyway? If he cheated on you, ignored your calls, and overall treated you bad when you were his girlfriend, what makes you think he'd treat you any better as a friend?
Let's say you two become friends, if he gets a girlfriend, is that going to bother you? Do you think his new girlfriend wants him hanging with his ex? What if his new girl is someone you don't care for. You and he get to reminiscing the old times, are you going to cheat "with" him?
Furthermore, how do you expect to find a healthy relationship? It is a MAJOR turn off to guys when they meet a girl, and she's still pals with her ex. It's nothing more than a breeding ground for trouble.
An ex is an ex! Leave them be. Move on with your life and find someone new.
Remember, you don't speak to the dead!
A
male
reader, Jason32477 +, writes (16 July 2009):
 First and foremost explain to him that you just want to be friends.Big surprises like you suggest might make him read further the wrong way than he already is.
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