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... Send *abey a private message | | | *abey's profile:Im a 37year old nurse. Who has been through realtionships. Aswell as a marriage. I am no more qualified than anyone to help with problems, but if a few of my words can comfort someone and help them a little, then that makes my day. WE all need to share when we have a worry or concern, I need that too.
I am in afairly new relationship, hope that I can get it right this time. Probably with the help from people on this site.
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Old bf wants me back--what do I do?
Q. what should you do if an old boyfriend wants to get back with you ...
A. 25 February 2008: well if thats how it ended, then sounds like yes give it another shot. although you say he still has feelings, obviously you have to have feelings too. some relationships are fab second time around, you have nothing to loose, go out and get to know ... (read in full...)
What causes people to fall in love?
Q. Hey just curious here but i've always wondered what causes people to fall in love? I've never had a bf before and i like this lad who i'm friends with and these feelings all came on so suddenly about 3 months ago. Its like, oh i don't know, how do ...
A. 22 February 2008: the cause of falling in love I think is personal to each individual. the cause that makes me fall in love, is realising i love spending time with someone, i want to be with them whenever possible, they make me laugh, i trust them, im attracted to ... (read in full...)
Am I being immature and overreacting or should this relationship be ended based on these problems?
Q. Dating question Guy I've been dating for 5 months. 1. He has a son he gets every wkend who I've met, but never get invited when they do things. Doesn't seem too big because it's a new relationship. 2. He works full and part-time as well. I see hi...
A. 22 February 2008: the only thing here is knowing why you both decided to cool things off for a week.
i undersatnd your concerns, at present you do feel excluded froma lot of his life, and he was not honest about the girl being the same one.
I suggest ... (read in full...)
Old bf wants me back--what do I do?
Q. what should you do if an old boyfriend wants to get back with you ...
A. 22 February 2008: why did you split up? do you still like him? do you want to be with him? did he treat you well? did you get along/ ask yourself those questions then make your choice xxx... (read in full...)
I want to propose to her but...
Q. hey, I need some advice from you guys. I think I am in love with this new girl at my work place. Initially when she came, I did not like her because I felt she was a braggish fellow but she proved me wrong, when surprisingly she engaged me in a ...
A. 22 February 2008: hey Im glad we helped you. Im thinking of you.
contact me anytime xxx... (read in full...)
I love him, but I can't leave him! Please help me, I don't know who else to talk to.
Q. Dear I just want your help, because I have nobody to talk about my relationship. So I have been one years and 3 month with my boyfriend, and i gave him all my best and i keep doing that everyday.So during the time,i gave him space to go out all the ...
A. 22 February 2008: it is so painful when you love someone and they do not feel the same way. Of course he still wants you there, its nice to know someone is there for you waiting and ready to take you back whenever you should feel like it. But do you know by always ... (read in full...)
Breakup out of nowhere. Need advice please!
Q. Ok so ive been with the same girl for the last 8 months. We are both in our twenties. I had recently come back from a military deployment and saw her a few times before i left for leave which was about a week. She couldnt come with me because of ...
A. 21 February 2008: leave it a month do not contact her. She may well contact you in this time. after a month call her and by then her emotions will be more settled and she will probably respond.
Calmly talk with her and ask that it would be aprreciated if she ... (read in full...)
He works a lot and I feel neglected. What should I do?
Q. I have been dating this guy for more than 1 yr.. and i was always happy with him. i always felt he treated me good. had some few problems but then no relationship is perfect. for some time though i have been feeling a little insecure about h...
A. 21 February 2008: i agree with how you are feeling, I too beleive if a man really wants you with that intensity he will do anything to see you and be with you.
I feel this man really cares about you, but is not truly in love and a little unsure. Different peop... (read in full...)
He never says "I love you", not even to our daughter.....
Q. Can a marriage survive this way? We've been married for only 5 months, and we have a 10 month old daughter, and I am due again next month. We love eachother, and have known eachother for a long time. The thing is that there is no intimacy in our ...
A. 21 February 2008: sadly, the way you describe your husband, is the same way as I would describe my father.
When someone has been brought up in a family environment where no love or affection is expressed, they then tend to repeat this pattern of behaviour. Espe... (read in full...)
We have small children and tiring jobs, and do not afford a babysitter. How to escape routine?
Q. I think my husband and I are getting burned out on the "daily grind". My husband does hard physical labor and I am an office manager of a busy/fast paced construction company. We have 2 small children so our evenings consist of cooking, cleaning ...
A. 21 February 2008: ive been there. Single mum with 3 children and now in a relationship with my 3 girls there all the time.
i managed to find other couples with the same problem and we occassionally have their children overnight, hence giving them a night free... (read in full...)
I asked her what she thinks of us and she said she lost the spark, but still likes me, only not as much. Any suggestions?
Q. Ok, so I've been in a relationship with this girl for about two and a half months. Everything was going great until a few weeks ago she asked for some space to be with her friends more. I said that's fine, so I gave her plenty of space. About a w...
A. 21 February 2008: yes, we loose the spark when we feel someone is always there and no longer a challenge its all too easy.
If you back off dont ask her how she feels, time to unnerve her abit. at the moment she knows you are always there, and its so easy.
... (read in full...)
I want him back, but does he want me?
Q. Hey I had this ex that I still really like. He broke up with me, because I asked to take a short-break during our relationship and he sayz he wasnt giving 100%, I miss him a lot as he literally was the only guy that was responsible and insp...
A. 21 February 2008: it sounds like he prob was trying to get back with you.
So I suggest you call him and arrange a get to gether to catch up.
Then during this meeting tell him you miss him, and would like to try again, and gage his reaction.
If he does ... (read in full...)
I feel so worthless and humiliated and think it's my fault that he returned to his ex who was giving him a baby. How can I move on?
Q. last year my man left me for the ex who was having his baby. he said it was tha right thing to do. I was devastated. i asked him why he couldt just man up to his responsibilities if he still wanted to be with me and he said no. Do you think he did ...
A. 21 February 2008: before you make any decisions its time for you!!!
Time to nuture yourself love yourself and care about yourself. He has chosen someone else, mainly due to the baby. You are still beautiful, still attractive and still unique, he has not take... (read in full...)
Still living with the love of my life but she doesn't want me. Don't know what to do because for the past 7 yrs I've told her of every problem and she's been my best friend, always willing to talk.
Q. Hello all, I originally came on this site to find advice for me and my own Girlfriend as we were having some problems. Some of you may have seen some of the advice that I've left so now, I'm asking for all of your help. My wonderful girlfr...
A. 21 February 2008: an inner strength from you is now required. Have you any close friends ? or friends you do not know to well ?
If you have people around you , arrange to meet them and get to know them, now is the time to make new best friends, so you do not ... (read in full...)
Advice on meeting boyfriend's parents for the first time.
Q. I'm meeting my boyfriend's parents tonight, going over to their house for dinner...any advice? He is 33 and I am 41, so we're not kids, and I understand that his father can be somewhat of a bear, his mother as sweet as pie, very well off. ...
A. 21 February 2008: Be polite, and most importantly be yourself!!!
When meeting new people i think you should always display a friendly smile at all times. Then take an interest in them. Admire their home, point out things which look nice, ask them who choose or d... (read in full...)
I've turned to food for comfort and now I am addicted to it...what can I do??
Q. Ive been feeling down for a number of reasons over the past few weeks. And have found food a huge comfort so much so that i now fear i am addicted to it!! I am eating to the point where it hurts all the time from the moment i wake till when i go to ...
A. 20 February 2008: firstly you need to find the root of the problem, why have you been feeling down the last few weeks.
That is where to start, is there any reason for you feeling down, has something triggered this? if so can this be resolved ?
it sounds a... (read in full...)
How can I tell if my teacher has a crush on me?
Q. I won't go into details...but I think my teacher, who has a boyfriend (according to her), has a slight crush on me. Could anyone please list out tell tale signs of a teacher liking a pupil. I'm not trying to take this anywhere...I just wanna sl...
A. 20 February 2008: hey, my question is. What difference does it make to you whether she has a crush or not?
if she does have a crush on you, be very flattered thats quite something you mjust be hot.
Whats the worst that can happen ?
Are you afraid s... (read in full...)
10 months on and I am thinking about contacting him...what should I do??
Q. I’ve been finding it difficult to move on from someone. From 2005/06 I started uni and met a bloke. From the start he said he didn’t want a commitment and I didn’t either as I was settling in at uni. We dated and he started messing me about. W...
A. 20 February 2008: well, my first thought is before you contact himagain, I suggest somehow you get yourself into a happier place in your life.are you happy with all other aspects of life ? Do you have a job? do you like it ? do you have a good social life? do you ... (read in full...)
Am I falling for my friends tricks in thinking he is gay??
Q. Bit of a complex question, so sorry if it's quite long. One of my best friends is a guy who admitted to fancying me a while back. I told him I loved him but only as a friend and we moved on - or at least I thought we did. We're still good friends ...
A. 20 February 2008: well, im going to make this simple I think.
Ask J if he has a girlfriend . Now if he is gay this may be the point where he will tell you nope Im gay or yes i like this girl or I have a girlfriend that will clear up the mystery.
If he claim... (read in full...)
I overheard my husband talking about feeling another womens breasts.
Q. I overheard a conversation of my husband feeling on another woman's breast. When I confronted him about he lied? By the next day he told me the truth but still denied certain parts of the story, claiming he was embellishing for his friend. This ...
A. 20 February 2008: Explain to him how deeply hurt you are, and that you are crushed to hear that he has been discussing another womans breasts. Explain that in order for you to feel special and loved you wish to beleive this does not happen. Im sure if he is a decent ... (read in full...)
I don't think its possible for me to have sex because I am so tight...what is wrong with me??
Q. I don't know what is wrong with me. I have never had sex but i don't think it is possible for me too anyway. I am so tight i can't even put in a tampon without it hurting too much to bare. I have tried fingering myself to see if it was possible and ...
A. 20 February 2008: nothing is wrong with you thats the most important thing you need to realise.
sometimes even at sixteen, the hynem has not been broken this is a thin layer of skin which goes across the vagina, hence why women bleed sometimes when they loos... (read in full...)
What can I do about this...it's not just a crush.
Q. I really like my teacher and its not just a crush. It's been going on for a while now but im not sure what to think as he has said things to me that may indicate he likes me too. I'm 15 and he is 29; not good. Someone give some advice? please!!...
A. 20 February 2008: ooh darling this is such a hard one for you. It is very natural to have these felings as a teenager, having a crush on a teacher is very common.
And by reading your problem, I know you really know the answer dont you.
He would ,loose h... (read in full...)
I can't seem to get wet!
Q. I am going to sleep with my boyfriend for the first time the only problem is I dont get wet! I know this sounds weird but I really don't, I have any reason not to I get turned on etc.. But I never get wet! I have slept with a few people and I jus...
A. 20 February 2008: well, try ky jelly, firstly. i have a feeling that you have become very aware of this problem, and now as intercourse comes about you tense up as fear that it will happen.
Hopefull you will have a very undersatnding partner, explain that this... (read in full...)
Can I have someone special in my life and go to University as well??
Q. Tonight, my parents were asking if I'd heard from my ex girlfriend whom I have struggled to get over for the past 8 months. During the conversation, I tried to explain that it would be nice to have somebody "in the mean time", but no matter what I ...
A. 20 February 2008: of course you can have a girlfriend!!!!
You are young life is about learning, meeting people, experiencong reltionships. Every relationship no matter how it ends, gives us memories, experiences and from all of this we all learn something. That... (read in full...)
How to make my ex girl want me back, but by playing hard to get!
Q. Me and my ex girlfriend dated for about 6 months. We've been broken up for about 3 weeks, everything has been good for the past three weeks but what should I do to get her back? She is 21 and I'm 19! Is it worth getting back together? What should I ...
A. 20 February 2008: Right firstly it depends on who broke up with who, or was it a mutual decision ?
It interests me that you say is it worth getting her back Surely you are the only one who can answer that one. Do you really love her? do you miss her? was the ... (read in full...)
Am I worrying unnecessarily?
Q. I recently went to the doctor because I think I have a bladder infection, I have been given some antibiotics and I had to give a urine sample. I fear there is something really worng with me because you get loads of stories in the paper in magazines ...
A. 20 February 2008: hey Im a nurse , and if the doctor diagnosed you as having a bladder infection, it is highly likely that is all it is.
You will find that out because very soon after taking the antibiotics the pain, or discomfort will subside.
So no need ... (read in full...)
What are some activities/ways of making love that we can do that don't involve intercourse?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going steady for a while now and we are very much in love. We love just spending time together. We enjoy doing many things together. We are both virgins and have talked about having sex. He says that there would be ...
A. 20 February 2008: there are alot of great activities which you both can participate in without actually having full intercourse. But usualyy theses lead to wanting the whole thing, but hey thats ok if it leads to that natural progression.
a man can see you nake... (read in full...)
I want to propose to her but...
Q. hey, I need some advice from you guys. I think I am in love with this new girl at my work place. Initially when she came, I did not like her because I felt she was a braggish fellow but she proved me wrong, when surprisingly she engaged me in a ...
A. 20 February 2008: Im afraid to be honest, I have to say slow down.
Falling in love takes time, to love someone you msut spend time together, be intimate, date, really get to know each other. sorry to say, as yet you to two have not had a propoer date.
Now m... (read in full...)
' I love him', but 'i don't fancy him anymore'
Q. I'm 18 and love my boyfriend of over a year but I'm not sure I fancy him anymore. I do love him to pieces but the physical attraction just isn't the same for me. I don't really want to split with him because I don't want to lose the closenes...
A. 20 February 2008: I think as has been said, all relationships loose that immense attraction. Even if you still fancy someone it is never as intense as in the beggining.
I think a strong relationship is one that you get on well, laugh together, trust each othe... (read in full...)
Absolutly head over heels for my girl, but I know she's been cheating. What should I do?
Q. Ladies any advice will do. Well here it goes well i'm a male in my 20's who for the last 2 years have been in a realanship on and OFF. I'm madly in luv with this girl, the problem is that she walks in and out of my life 4 the last two years. I know ...
A. 18 June 2007: right if you really want her time to get some self respect. the reason she does this to you is because she know she can. She know you will always be there, so great, she can have a good time and then have you to fll back on.
Time to get down and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend can't get hard for our first time due to stress.
Q. my boyfriend is sooo consumed by stress, and its our first time having sex the very fist for me, but becuase of the stress its hard to get it uuhh hard lol what can i do to help calm the stress???...
A. 18 June 2007: you must be very understanding toward him, so he feels no pressure. For now I would abstain from even trying intercourse, read the previous problems reply I gave as that covers it xx... (read in full...)
I can only get semi hard due to stress. What should I do?
Q. im in a relation ship, and we just started having sex. but ive been under alot of stress and could only get a semi and barley keep it up, the only thing i really want to do is pleasure her, is there anything that i can do to get some stuff off my m...
A. 18 June 2007: I hope firstly that she is being understaanding of this, so you have no added pressure.
I would explain that you still really fancy her and that this is just due to stress, as sometimes a woman may take it personally. The obvious problem is that... (read in full...)
I want to start a conversation with this guy I like on Myspace, how do I start it off?
Q. All my life I've been attracted to slim/slender men. Well, then I met this guy named Alan. His height is 6'2, and he's not chubby at all, just has a little bit extra baggage. He plays volleyball and basketball in school. I don't understand, I am...
A. 18 June 2007: how about saying, hi, my name is ..... Ive seen you playing volley ball and think your really good. Be nice to chat sometime. If he knows who you are then fine, I bet he responds to that its calme friendly and casual.
good luck xxx... (read in full...)
Tried to start a family for 8 months without succeeding. What should we do?
Q. my boyfriend and i are trying to have a baby. weve been trying for about 8 months now and it still hasnt worked. what could help or what should i do?...
A. 17 June 2007: it really is a big step planning a baby so young, but eight months is not really a long time for trying.
If you are serious about having a baby, mark down the date of each period, if your cycle is regular then you count back 14 days. Exam... (read in full...)
My Mum treats me with less respect than my brothers and sisters. I've tried talking to her but she won't listen. What should I do?
Q. hi everyone, my mom abuses me emotionally and ive tried talking to her about it but she doesnt understand. im the oldest out of three children and it seems to me she has favorites, my sister. she always hugs her and pushes me away, and my sister i...
A. 17 June 2007: This is sad for you.
I suggest you write your mum a long letter, make it nonconfrontational.
Explain in clear non agrressive way how hurt and sad you feel, give examples of things she has done that hurt you.
Explain how much you lov... (read in full...)
My best mate told me my boyfriend was only with me for sex.
Q. My friends seem to think that my bf is only in the relationship for sex when i told him off this he didnt really comfort me or reasure me that hes not. Everyone seems to know more about the relationship than i do what shall i do?? ...
A. 17 June 2007: I would have to ask you uestions like, how long have you been with him? whenyou see him do you talk is he respectful? does he take you ? out, how often does he see you ?
Now if you spend time together, are friends and date propally, then my gues... (read in full...)
The father of my baby tells me I do everything wrong when dealing with her when he's the one not feeding, playing or bathing her!
Q. do i break up with my partner of 3 years and the father to my 6 mth old daughter? b4 the baby was born things were tough he alwsys seems to manage to put me down. Call me stupid and a liar (i am defo not a liar but maybe stupid sometimes, but n...
A. 17 June 2007: I am sad to hear your story. to keep high self esteem and confidence is extremely hard when you are continuall being put down.
You realise this man fels very inadequate, and to make himself feel better he has to put you down. As you have said... (read in full...)
I fancy my close friend like crazy! How do I tell her? I'm scared of being rejected.
Q. I'm a 16 year old guy and I think I'm in love with one of my best (female) friends. We've known each other for about 4 years. Our mutual friends have been teasing us since before we even really got talking about how perfect we would be for each ...
A. 17 June 2007: try not to be afraid of rejection. You must be strong now. You will loose noghting, you have a friend, and by letting her know you would like more im sure she can only be flattered.
If she agrees good luck may your romance blossom, but if she ... (read in full...)
I still love my ex and dream of getting back with him. He's just made contact with me after 7 months of no contact. What does this mean?
Q. Hi! Earlier this month I posted here telling you about my ex, whom talked to me online this one after nearly 7 months of no communication! We only talked for about half an hour or so and it was about "work". You told me that maybe he was just t...
A. 17 June 2007: i think have you been working hard on you during your time a part. Within this seven months, I like to think you have discovered more about yourself and focused on you. if not its time to start. I suggest, you sit back and look at your life, what is ... (read in full...)
I've been seeing him casually for about a year now and am scared to let him know my true feelings for him in case I scare him off. Please help?
Q. When guys say things about their feelings- do they just say it to keep you quiet or do they mean it? I have fallen for this guy, ive been seeing him in a casual way for a year and am scared to tell him how I feel because I dont want to be rejec...
A. 20 February 2007: I think if he has been seeing you for a year the guy must be pretty keen. Decide exactly what you want , do you want to see him more often ? Do you want a future with him? Personally, I would tred carefull, and perhaps just ask him where he sees the ... (read in full...)
Why am I so angry at men? All they care about is sex sex sex!
Q. hi Why am i SO against men and how they are with women? i hate the fact that all teenage boys and men only care about sex? i just feel that women are used and it truly offends me! i have never had sexual intercourse with anyone before, im only 1...
A. 20 February 2007: I agree a lot of men do have sex on the brain, especially in their teenage years. Its not actually there fault it is their hormones and how their bodies will work.
I congratulate you though on having the sense to be saving yourself.
But ... (read in full...)
I'm 15 and my breasts feel a bit tender and bruised, is this normal?
Q. im 15 and I've noticed recently that my breast are feeling a bit tender almost like bruised at the sides near my arms.im not particularly big, a/b cup size. I no im definatly not pregnant or anything is this normal? ...
A. 20 February 2007: Yes this is perfectly normal at varying times of the month.
Often women get very tender breasts when they are pre menstrual it is one of the many symptoms of pre menstrual tension. It is nothing to worry about and perfectly normal. Some months may ... (read in full...)
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