Are relationships so brittle to break in a second?
Q. Hi, My girlfrnd for 4 years suddenly says her feelings for me are over..she told me she will not be able to reciprocate the love i give to her....she dont love me anymore... She told me not to call her as it hurts..... She even didn't wish me...
A. 5 February 2009: Are relations so brittle to break in a sec? Yes some are, my last relationship pretty much ended one evening after a single text message. I think sometimes there may be things going on in the background, which makes it seem like things have suddenly ... (read in full...)
Why are people so hostile when they hear the truth?
Q. why are there so many people in society and especially on here that get so hostile? everyone asks for advice, but when some of them are given answers they turn nasty and don't want to know. or you just get plain rudeness. if you don't want to h...
A. 4 February 2009: I think some people can be too honest with you. What you have to remember is that a lot of people who ask for help are feeling very emotional and depressed, so you have to be honest with them in a way that doesn't make them feel like they are ... (read in full...)
How can I make sense of this so that I can move on with my current boyfriend?
Q. I met my ex boyfriend a few years ago and fell deeply in love with him, I never knew love like this before, he was everything to me. He told me he loved me too, we started to look for a house together, talked about kids and everything was great ...
A. 3 February 2009: He is in the past, he had his chance and blew it. Don't make the same mistake twice, very few people actually change and he will eventually revert back to how he was before. I would tell him to get lost, your with someone now who treats you how you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is not emotional, what should I do?
Q. Hello all, My story is quite long but i would love someone would give an advice. I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year, he is a very good guy. My problem with him is that he is very unemotional. He is always telling me that I look very...
A. 2 February 2009: If your his first proper relationship at 29, then he is bound to have some emotional problems, he probably isn't used to telling someone that he loves them and it may feel weird to him. Try not to judge him too much, he sounds like a good guy. ... (read in full...)
I feel so lost in life...
Q. I really need advice as I feel I cannot see straight. I am in my mid-20' but I feel so lost in life. I live at home with my loving, but strict parents. I can't really invite ppl over bc my family is so dysfunctional. But I can't stay out late or...
A. 31 January 2009: Sounds like you already know what you need to do. Find yourself a job first and save up some money, then look for a place of your own, maybe you can flat share with a mate?
I also found the thought of living on my own very scarry, but its the ... (read in full...)
I really miss him but I want to be close to him as we were.
Q. My ex keeps contacting me via email, we only split 2 weeks ago, or should I say 1 week ago, coz he kept coming round crying and saying he loves me and kissing me. He even said he didn't wanna know me for the rest of his life. Now he wants to be f...
A. 30 January 2009: I think its very hard to be friends with someone you had a relationship with straight away. I tried it myself recently, but its made the getting over my ex ten times harder, because she likes to talk about her current boyfriend, who she started to ... (read in full...)
Doubts about a lasting relationship without christ...
Q. Hello everyone my name is Feeljoy please my question is: is there really a lasting relationship on earth without christ in your life?...
A. 30 January 2009: I'm guessing you mean a lasting relationship with another person? My mum and dad celebrated? their 35th wedding anniversary yesterday and they don't believe in christ and never have. They have had some tough times in the past, but always stuck ... (read in full...)
How can I get the love from my girl?
Q. Hi I'm Kai and have a problem: I love a girl but she doesn't loves me but she likes me i don't now how i can do that she loves me?? Please help me. PS I'm from Germany and I hope you now what I want!...
A. 30 January 2009: You can't make someone love you, its just something that happens over time. Are you dating her? you say she likes you, so I suggest you take things slowly with her and don't creep her out by saying that you love her. Women like a challenge as well, ... (read in full...)
A lesson to be learned here...
Q. Met this guy on internet dating site. Texted, only, for 5 weeks, and then we arranged to meet. Because he works till late.... he came to my house.... I was sure he was someone I could trust. Of course, our texting was mostly of a sexual nature... ...
A. 29 January 2009: I'm not a big fan of online dating anymore, its too easy for people to pretend to be someone they aren't. I met someone off the internet and we texted each other constantly for a few weeks, she seemed really innocent at the time, but the texts ... (read in full...)
The ex that doesn't want to go away
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about six months now, we get on amazingly and are very happy together. however, his ex girlfriend is clearly still not over him, they broke up over a year ago but i can see she still loves him. when she first...
A. 29 January 2009: There isn't anything you can do really, its just going to take time for her to get over him. I suppose your boyfriend could stop drinking with the guy shes seeing, but it is his best friend and it would probably make things worse if you suggested ... (read in full...)
Can you really take back an ex....?
Q. I broke up with my b/f of 3 yrs approxmately 8 months ago because he didn't seem to voalize his love for me and he seemed to wanna me with his buddies more often then me. We both dated other people during the break and rarely spoke to each other. ...
A. 26 January 2009: If it eneded last time because he was messing you around or treating you badly, then you should really think twice about giving him a second chance. People don't change their spots or suddenly become this new person who has seen the light, most of ... (read in full...)
Should I take a claim out against the other firm?
Q. I was in a minor car crash on sat nite when out in the town with my friends. We were in a black taxi and another taxi company crashed into the side of us, flinging us all off our seats. I cut my face on the handle of the taxi and it's quite a nasty ...
A. 26 January 2009: If you were all wearing seat belts then sure go ahead and claim, if not then you could probably get the driver into trouble as he is responsible for making sure his customers put belts on.
I know someone who got around £2,000 when someone ... (read in full...)
Was dropping out of uni the biggest mistake of my life?
Q. hi, im 21 and last year in january i dropped out of university. i have a lot of problems at home with my mum. she wants to control everything i do and she drinks a lot. she messes with my head so much. i convinced myself dropping out was the righ...
A. 22 January 2009: Go for it, don't regret it later on in life when its too late. As for your mum, are you an only child or the youngest? My mum gave me so much hassle when I tried to move out for the first time, she kept saying I wouldn't be able to pay all my bills ... (read in full...)
What does "wearing your heart on your sleeve" mean?
Q. Hey there Am justing getting to know a guy off the internet and he seems really lovely and funny. We were talking about relationships etc and he says he seems to get trampled on cos he wears his heart on his sleeve... what does that exactly mea...
A. 22 January 2009: It means he shows his emotions and feelings without keeping them to himself, which is a good thing really. Maybe he has told someone in the past how he felt towards them and they weren't ready for anything serious. ... (read in full...)
I don't want to lose her but she's not ready for a relationship now. What do I do?
Q. i have recently met a girl n we have been talkin for about 6wks now n we get on like a house on fire and have met up a few times aswel. we both enjoy each others company cos we have so much in common n feel we can tell each other everything. the ...
A. 21 January 2009: Don't you just love it when things are going really well, then bang, the ex wants them back and blows your life apart?. I had this happen to me 3 weeks before Christmas, I was made to beleive that it never works out for the new guy, so I ended ... (read in full...)
If he doesn't want me back then why doesn't he just put me out of my misery?
Q. Why can ex’s be so cruel?! The way I see it is that they either want to give it another go or they don’t! My ex dumped me then came back 6 months later saying he still loved me and perhaps we didn’t have to split up, that it was just a difficult ...
A. 19 January 2009: Sadly some guys will say exactly what you want to hear when trying to get back together after a split, then after a short while they revert back to how they were the first time round. I'm not saying your partner is the same, but if you have any ... (read in full...)
She is confused..meanwhile I'm waiting
Q. So basically she said she needs time to figure out what she's going to do about her ex which she went out with 3 years for, she still has feelings for him and she needs to straighten them out, those feelings were getting in the way of are ...
A. 15 January 2009: I know what your going through mate, at the begining of December I had the same thing happen to me. One night I get a text from my now ex GF telling me that her ex wants her back. She was with him 6 months ago and still has feelings for him.
I end... (read in full...)
I'm facing the life of an old maid now
Q. life as old maid facing into now .never had boyfriend not once not even kissed once either. the most of the guys i have ever liked wasn,t in me 70% and other were30% were taken. any thoughts...
A. 14 January 2009: Why do you think you have never been kissed before or had a boyfriend? working out what the problem is can help a lot.
Are you really shy? do you need to change the way you dress? are you over weight? do you keep yourself tidy and clean? Its hard... (read in full...)
She keeps saying she loves me but then goes back to the ex
Q. Hi All, I am really stuck and would really appreciate some help. I am in a really tricky situation with a girl who I work with. We were both in long term relationships and got together around 7 months ago both leaving partners after we cheated...
A. 14 January 2009: How can you put up with someone cheating on you three times? You mentioned the two of you got together 7 months ago after cheating on your partners, your heading for a life of hurt if you think shes going to change.
Sorry to say this but you need... (read in full...)
I was let down badly by people in the past and find the idea of letting someone in terrifying.
Q. I guess I have a problem I'm just not sure what I'm doing wrong. Basically I've never had a boyfriend and I'm now 25. I'm not bad looking, I get on with guys really well and I know they're interested because people tell me, but I never get asked ...
A. 14 January 2009: You just need to go for it, I was the same, I was very shy around women and found it really hard to talk to them. In the end I got tired of being on my own, so I asked someone out who works behind my local bar, she rejected me, but I discovered that ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend loves me but he still loves his psycho ex!
Q. My boyfriend loves me but he still loves his psycho ex! I don't know how to get rid of her. What should I do? My boyfriend doesn't want to give up one of us, he doesn't even want me to give up on him but how can I get him give up his ex?...
A. 14 January 2009: I've just got out the same situation, in the end I decided to end it with her. He really needs to get over her if your going to have any future together, otherwise she's just going to keep showing her face.
I think it might be wise to remain j... (read in full...)
DO you think there is a higher power?
Q. DO you think there is a higher power, that we can use to turn to when our life turns bitter? How can we actually know there is a higher power, if we never actually seen it? How come, some of us can easily believe this higher power thing, and can ...
A. 13 January 2009: If there is a higher power, I must of really upset them the way my life has gone this last month lol. I treat people how I would like to be treated myself, i've never done anything to hurt anyone, yet i've just been messed around by someone who I ... (read in full...)
How do you relax around guys when you have low esteem and weight problem?
Q. hi i was woundering how do i relax arounds guys if a guy touched me i go weak in the kness and get nevervous and tense up.the last time i was in nightclub a guy had his arms around my waist and i felt very nervous and shy.i was weak in the kness.the ...
A. 12 January 2009: Well it sounds like you gave him the impression that you wasn't interested in him at all, especially if he offered to buy you a drink and you turned him down. Most guys will move on if they get no response at a nightclub, because most of them are ... (read in full...)
How can I forgive myself? I cannot believe it was me who lied and cheated...
Q. I have been in a relationship with a guy only for a month. I really liked him. He was only looking for a relationship to get married. He was the only guy I respected and wanted to get married too though I have only known him for a very short period ...
A. 12 January 2009: What kind of emails were you and your ex sending each other? you mentioned that your new guy read the emails and he hates you now, so i'm guessing maybe they aren't the sort of emails you would send to just a friend?
I can understand how he feels... (read in full...)
Why do guys boast about there so called girfriends to other people?
Q. Why do guys boast about there so called girfriends to other people? I know what you say he's proud of her, just others girls don't want to listen to them because it's hurtful. This girl could like him and he goes boasting about he might in 4 ...
A. 9 January 2009: It isn't just guys who boast about there other halfs :(, a lot of people do it sadly. I left my GF because she was messing me around with her ex, we agreed to remain friends, but every time I talk to her she tells me how great the relationship is ... (read in full...)
I still can't see him being with another girl without it killing me inside!
Q. My ex and I broke up a month ago after a two-year relationship. I still can't see him being with another girl without it killing me inside! And I'm definitely not ready for a new relationship, yet. I still love him and care about him to bits, but ...
A. 8 January 2009: I'm guessing its hard for you to not see him at some point during the week? The best way I found to get over someone is to cut contact with them, even if you do still have feelings for them. It can be really hard at first, but its the only way to ... (read in full...)
I'm crying every night since the break-up and I feel ugly and worthless, how can I get over him??
Q. i have just recently split with my partner of two years, i am tryin to follow the advice of friends and relatives to keep busy, get out more, but i just cannot motivate myself, im spending my days either sleeping or constantly waiting for a text ...
A. 5 January 2009: I can understand what your going through, sadly the best healer is time and there is nothing much you can do apart from keeping your mind busy.
Your not the only person who has hoped that each day you would get a text from them, asking to get b... (read in full...)
Why are they so obsessed with size?
Q. Why are guys so obsessed with the size of their penis, despite what women say in response (i.e. size doesn't matter - it's what you do with it that counts)?...
A. 3 January 2009: Not all guys are obsessed with the size of their penis, maybe they lack in other areas so they feel that the size of the penis means everything.
I know that i'm a good person, so the size of my penis means nothing to me, 10" or 1" I would still fe... (read in full...)
Why can't I meet a funny, supportive man that wants me?
Q. Im 35 and single. I have no children and am scared I wont ever have them. I dont want to go it alone and I dont feel desperate I just feel like my clock is ticking was too fast now. I rarely fancy anyone and most men in my area are taken. ...
A. 3 January 2009: Don't give up on online dating just yet, there are some decent guys who use it like me lol, but yeah a lot of people who use online dating have issues, you just need to be patient.
I don't think its a waste of time, all it takes is to meet one... (read in full...)
He's drawing fake 'staches on me and making me dress/talk like a man in the bedroom... is this normal?
Q. hi, im 21 and my boyfriend is 25. He keeps asking me to dress in his clothes and talk in a deep voice when we have sex. he even tried to draw a fake mustache on me with eye liner. he says its a huge turn on. is this normal? ...
A. 1 January 2009: umm its really not very normal, I think you need to have a chat with him, ask him why it turns him on.... (read in full...)
Should I try to keep my feet on the floor or just go with the flow?
Q. Just over 3 weeks ago I was on a dating site I occassionally visit. I normally go on and wait for guys to approach me (even though I don't usually have any interest in the guys who do) but on this occassion I decided to message a guy 5 years ...
A. 30 December 2008: If i'm honest I really think you need to keep your feet on the ground, i've learnt that people aren't always what they seem to be.
I also met someone on a dating site recently, I chatted to her on IM all day and texting all night. I thought ... (read in full...)
Can women and men just be friends?
Q. does anyone think men and women can just be friends?...
A. 23 December 2008: Depends whats happened between you really. I'm trying my hardest to still be friends with my ex, who I left because she still had feelings for her ex.
I'm fine until she starts talking about him, then I get really sad and depressed and I feel lik... (read in full...)
What would guys rather have--babe or library type girl?
Q. are guys attracted to nice ,quiet ,shy ,innocent ,genuine ,safe,plain looking girls? would guys find girls like this boring because i am like this i am passed over for the babes who are loud,dress sexy and who are party girls. i want...
A. 22 December 2008: I would rather be with someone who is shy, innocent, genuine and plain any day, just because these babes look really good, doesn't mean they are interesting to talk to, or have a sense of humour.
I fell for someone who you would call a babe, bu... (read in full...)
What if you can't be together because of circumstance? What are the options?
Q. If you can't be with someone for the moment due to circumstance, what can you do? Give up? I don't want to go on with life always wondering "what if." But if you're both going your separate ways in just a year, what else can you do? Make a vow to ...
A. 22 December 2008: With todays technology you can keep in touch with anyone in the world at any time, so why not keep in touch with him and see how things go?... (read in full...)
A letter to my ex: your thoughts?
Q. For background please see: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-is-my-exgirlfriends-intentions-here.html I'd appreciate your thoughts on this letter. (Sorry for the length). J, I have been thinking about how I feel of late, and there is ...
A. 21 December 2008: I'm going through something similar, wish I could cut contact as well, but I would miss her too much, its also killing me when she tells me her boyfriend is meeting her over the weekend, I think its actually starting to make me feel physically sick. ... (read in full...)
What is wrong with me, any advice?
Q. I am a guy, a few weeks from being twenty years old. I have never wanted anything more in my life than to meet a girl who wants to spend time with me. So far, I have never had anything close to a relationship, I have only held hands with three ...
A. 19 December 2008: Just don't think about it, I know its easier said than done, but if your constantly thinking about finding someone because your feeling lonely, you will look lonely and probably depressed as well.
Your still really young, just enjoy your single l... (read in full...)
Do nice guys finish last?
Q. hi, A girl I met at uni a year ago now are really good friends. Last month I asked her out but she said that she just wants to be friends and that is all that she wants from me. So just now she is seeing someone. Her flatmates don't und...
A. 17 December 2008: Sadly i'm starting to think that nice guys do always come last :-( I met this great girl and we dated for a couple of weeks, she thought I was a great guy. Then her ex decided he wanted to get back together with her, this guy already messed her ... (read in full...)
How can I keep my online guy interested. He is not ready to meet yet.
Q. Hi there all, iv met this guy a month ago on internet, i do like him alot, he lives near me too. jus from talking, i can tell we get on well. we swapped numbers and talk everyday, through sms. And we flirt like crazy. I asked if he wanted meet...
A. 16 December 2008: Have you exchanged pictures yet? I'm also very shy and I met someone off the internet 3 weeks ago. After a week of chatting to her, I realised that I was falling for her and I really wanted to meet her and my shyness wasn't going to get in the ... (read in full...)
I ignored this read flag and here I am - having to forget him, but how?
Q. I was happily dating a man for the past 6 weeks. We shared many romantic dinners together, saw each other at least 4 times a week and emailed each other daily. When we first met, he talked alot about his past with women and his problem of having ...
A. 15 December 2008: I know the feeling :-( I met someone who I thought was very special, texting each other almost constantly, at work and during the evening for almost 3 weeks. Then suddenly the ex shows his ugly face and wants to get back together and she didn't know ... (read in full...)
Are there any other options for me apart from counseling?
Q. I posted the question what should I do now that my life seems worthless, I think was the title anyway, I say thanks to diovan lestat and others for answering, but counseling is not for me, I have tried it and it brought me more down I just could not ...
A. 10 December 2008: Why does your life seem worthless exactly? everyone has a real crappy period in their life, it just makes you a stronger person when you come out the other side.... (read in full...)
Shall I just let him go without saying goodbye?
Q. Hello Guys, need really need some help... my mind is going mental. It's a bit of a long story but hold tight... I was with my ex boyfriend for abbout 3 years, and we spilt up about a year and a half ago on his terms. In the last year we have kep...
A. 10 December 2008: He sounds like a right arsehole, let him go and grow up. Its ok for him to see other people, but when you start dating again its wrong? you really need to get him out of your life, otherwise he could end up ruining it for you.
He is your ex for a... (read in full...)
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