A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I guess I have a problem I'm just not sure what I'm doing wrong. Basically I've never had a boyfriend and I'm now 25. I'm not bad looking, I get on with guys really well and I know they're interested because people tell me, but I never get asked out!I'm sure its something I'm doing wrong. Trouble is I was seriously ill in my late teens so I never really got a chance to learn much about dating and now it just seems like everyone knows the game except me.I lost a lot of my friends and confidence with me being ill and though I've made new friends my confidence and self esteem has never re-surfaced. Overall I managed to put my life back together, went to university, then travelling etc....everything but being able to have a relationship.It's really started to get me down especially since all my friends are coupled up and I just feel sooooo embarrassed about the whole thing I can't talk to anyone about it. I think the main problem is when it comes to guys I really like I get this terrible feeling in my stomach and feel the need to run away and act like I'm not interested. It's so stupid and 'I think why the hell did I do that?'. Unfortunatly I was let down badly by people in the past and find the idea of letting someone in terrifying. I just don't know how I can put this right before I end up old and alone. Sorry....older and alone.
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confidence, never had a boyfriend, self esteem, university Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Ed1337 +, writes (14 January 2009):
 You just need to go for it, I was the same, I was very shy around women and found it really hard to talk to them. In the end I got tired of being on my own, so I asked someone out who works behind my local bar, she rejected me, but I discovered that being rejected wasn't so bad after all.
I've also tried internet dating, because my job is in a male dominated industry and I live in a small village, it has been really hard to meet singles. I met this really nice young lady on the internet, turned out she had major issues and its now over, but i'm still glad I met her.
Also 25 isn't that old really :)
A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (13 January 2009):
 Hello, Im sorry to hear about that. The best suggestion I can make for you, is to make good friends with these guys, if you make friends first let it grow into something over time, even if you like one let it grow untill he says something to you. Go to things like movies, ask one to hang out with you, just say its not a date but to hang out he will understand, or ask him ot go for a few drinks one afternoon. they will be fine they don't know your past. Then give signals like look at him when he's not looking at you and when he catches your eye quickly look away, it's a nice trick and makes you laugh. He will pick up on it and do it too. Also be flirty; By this, i mean you need to know the right things to say to play on his imagination afterwards - touch his arm when you say something it brings you closer together, say nice things to him but not too much or all the time.
Thats a good way to start. :)
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