Can this rebound relationship last? What are the signs it's a rebound relationship?
Q. ModNote: two questions about the same issues combined. How can you tell if your being used as rebound? What are the signs and things to look out for ? (for guys) Women advice please, or guys if you have experienced being used as rebound befo...
A. 1 June 2012: Rebound relationships often times aren't too hard to spot. Most often you only need to rely on your gut! From what you write, she probably still has some emotional baggage and feels the right thing to do is to try and move on... But it's a fallacy. ... (read in full...)
Why a 180 from what she said she wanted a week ago? Did I do something wrong?
Q. Ive been with my girl friend for a few months. She asked me to move in with her and her children. This happened about a week ago. Everything was falling into place. i treat her like a queen and her children are treated the same way. I do everythi...
A. 28 April 2012: Women can be complicated at times, but this instance do as she asks, give her space, spend less time together, leave her to her own thoughts, let her think about you and actualy miss you when you are away. It may make no sense and seem counter-int... (read in full...)
Did my girlfriend lose interest in me because we had sex?
Q. Well im 42 and i have been dating this 31 year old irish woman for almost 6 months now . Thing is for the past week she hasn't been showing much interest in me at all since last saturday. I am not great looking i honestly don't know why she sho...
A. 24 March 2012: Dude, the best thing you could do is not try to force the issue. She isn't taking your calls, and showing lots of disinterest. The more you keep trying to reach her, the more pressure you put her under and the further you push her away.
Who k... (read in full...)
Has my ex had a strange change of heart?
Q. Hello. My name's Brian. I have a very confusing situation. It has been 3 years, since I have been romantically rejected by my first girlfriend. She offered to be my friend. However, I found that she wasn't very trustworthy, after knowing that a m...
A. 24 March 2012: Just the way a sub-marine pings the ocean to find objects, so is she pinging, by way of reaching out to you to investigate whether you still have feelings, or even are interested in her. More often than not, show interest, and once she has gotten ... (read in full...)
The girl I was dating slept with a co-worker and then ended things with me. Did I dodge a bullet?
Q. About a month ago, I went on a chat site when I was at a loose end, I wasn't looking for anyone but ended up chatting to a girl. She gave me her number, we texted and eventually decided to meet. She looked lovely, genuine, and said she looked f...
A. 13 March 2012: Probably not but why attach your happiness to such outcomes? You'll only end up hurting yourself, just let it go...simple as that.... (read in full...)
The girl I was dating slept with a co-worker and then ended things with me. Did I dodge a bullet?
Q. About a month ago, I went on a chat site when I was at a loose end, I wasn't looking for anyone but ended up chatting to a girl. She gave me her number, we texted and eventually decided to meet. She looked lovely, genuine, and said she looked f...
A. 12 March 2012: Dude just be glad that she's gone, you actually will find a better and more suitable girl for you so quit the ponderings of whether the two of you should have hooked up or not. It's pointless now so look ahead and not backwards.... (read in full...)
He will not marry me until I am submissive. What should I do?
Q. After a long four hours discussion with my man yesterday, I found out the reason he is having fear in proposing to me is because he feels I am somewhat of a dictator in a relationship. He feels like I like to be the man in the relationship. And he ...
A. 12 March 2012: It's never wise to try to change your core personality in order to suit your partner as more often than not you run the risk of resenting them for it later on down the road. He has to somehow deal with whatever is causing these negative emotions ... (read in full...)
Girl I was talking to turned away and said to her friend "there are so many hot guys here" Was that lack of interest on her part?
Q. Over the weekend I ended up at a bar in the company of a girl who I'm quite interested in and a few others. Being recently single, I'm not embarked on a crazed drive to find another girlfriend but I like to explore all possibilities shall we say. ...
A. 12 March 2012: It's no big deal...really! She probably was just engaging you in a "friendly" way and did'nt see you in "that" way. But no biggie, at least you got some time in to vibe with her and now that you know she isn't interested, it clears up the road for ... (read in full...)
I ended our relationship because of his close female 'friend' but he wants to talk, should I listen to what he has to say? Or was I right to break up with him?
Q. ever since i started dating my man i have been seeing a ladys name on his text messages all the time its like they do chat a lot with her, one day i decided to sneak a peak and saw the lady had texted "am sorry i hope your not mad at me i love you ...
A. 6 March 2012: Emotionally, you are attracted to this guy, but your gut is telling you all is not well...nevertheless this overwhelming attraction you feel for him is so strong that you are still willing to listen to him after confronting him with evidence that ... (read in full...)
I had sex with my friend's dad.
Q. Dear Cupid, Okay so this is kinda tricky.. i'm good friends with this girl, not like my bestie or anything but we still hang out often enough. Started getting to know her through college, been hanging around with her for about a year, we're both...
A. 4 March 2012: Having a FWB, sex only relationship is an absolute fallacy... You will eventually develop feelings for this guy, you will eventually want more from him than just the 'sex', and when he turns you down/ breaks it off, YOU WILL get hurt!! (and more ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my confused feelings? I think my brother's wife fancies me and I feel the same about her.
Q. My brother's wife and I have history, we both have moved on since she married my brother but the only problem is deep down i still fancy her and deep down in her heart i know she feels the same. But she will not admit it to herself. We only see each...
A. 2 March 2012: HELP?!!?!?
STAY....AWAY!!
Why risk relations with your brother and his relations with his wife just so you can get off. It's not worth it. Stay away from her, get yourself a decent gal and move on... (read in full...)
He wanted to know why I asked him if he had a girlfriend, should I tell him it's because I like him?
Q. l have been liking this guy for 3 months now, his actions seems like he likes me too. He finds excuses to talk to me, l catch him looking at me and he once asked me 4 months ago if l had a boyfrend of which l said yes because l was dating someone at ...
A. 27 February 2012: He knows you like him, trust me, he just wants to hear you say it. And for someone to tell you whether or not it's the right time to tell him is not really definitive. Go with your gut and a bit of logic when coming to a decision... (read in full...)
Why hasn't he asked me out yet?
Q. Hey everyone, Well my story is going to be pretty long please have the patience to read it.. So 2 years ago I met this guy thru a common friend at the time he was dating a girl for nearly 6 years,they were in a long distance relationship..so...
A. 27 February 2012: You weren't reciprocative to his flirtations and wooing over a long period of time, so he backs off. If you are interested in him, give some indications so that he gets that much needed green light for him to proceed, good luck... (read in full...)
Am I just seeing things or is my boss into me?
Q. I work for a mostly all male company with a female accounting office. I am the only woman in office under 30 and have been working there for 3 years. I have been noticing lately that my boss, our company president, has been treating me differently ...
A. 26 February 2012: Sounds like you have a big crush on this guy but from experience work place romances are very murky and tricky waters to try and manoeouvre, I'd advise against it but you're a big girl capable of making you're own decisions... (read in full...)
Should I ask my ex out on a date? I don't want to do it too early but don't want to wait till its too late!
Q. Ive been broken up with my ex gf for about a month and a half and i miss her so much. she was the one who ended it because she had a guy she met and i guess you can say she got a crush on him. this happened to me as well a few years ago but i never ...
A. 26 February 2012: Hey I totally get what you're saying. Went through just about the same with my high school sweetheart ex and went through the whole man transformation thing and I continue improving every day. What I'd say is this; If you really want her, go get ... (read in full...)
If cheated on will the man suddenly find the woman sexually unattractive?
Q. If you made a mistake and was found out for cheating, can it make a man go from finding you very sexually attractive, into not finding you attractive any more? Can men change just like that? How do you pull them back? Any one ever been through this?...
A. 21 February 2012: Great Relationship (Perceived) + Bad Decisions (Cheating)=
Little/ No Sexual Attraction
It's a tough one, but is it really worth trying to get back together? Surely, something must have driven you to do this, and maybe wanting to get him back,... (read in full...)
Should I ask my ex out on a date? I don't want to do it too early but don't want to wait till its too late!
Q. Ive been broken up with my ex gf for about a month and a half and i miss her so much. she was the one who ended it because she had a guy she met and i guess you can say she got a crush on him. this happened to me as well a few years ago but i never ...
A. 21 February 2012: From you're writing you seem to have made up your mind as to what action to take regardless what anyone says. Nevertheless I'd say let her go. She has stepped out on you not once, but twice!! Clearly she has been sending you signals but you ... (read in full...)
I really would like to just go up and talk to this girl but I don't know how, nor can I work up the courage to say hello
Q. I have recently began seeing this girl at different functions at my out of school activities. Being at an all boy school, I do not get as much girl interaction, but when ever I see her at events, I just gawk over her beauty. I know that I am n...
A. 8 February 2012: JUST GO TALK TO HER...that's an order!!! It's not about how good looking a guy is but more how you make her feel, so just walk up to her and say "Hi" and go on from there you'll be surprised how easy it is when you actually just walk up to her, and... (read in full...)
I've completely ruined the most amazing thing I ever had just because I freaked out!
Q. I met this amazing guy and we seemed to hit it off from the start. We spent every day together, having fun just doing anything..we just enjoyed each other's company no matter what we were doing. He told me all the time how much he loved me, how am...
A. 8 February 2012: So he has toned down with the intensity because he was perceptive enough to see that it freaked you out. That's ok, so take a deep breath and relax, he is still around right? Just go with the flow and all will work out fine, focus in having fun and ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for a guy to get turned on by women's breasts?
Q. I am getting a bit confused here but its I can't just help it. Is it wrong for a guy to be attracted and get turned on by woman's breasts?...
A. 8 February 2012: It's only creepy when you leer, linger and stare when infact you should be talking and getting to know her. Don't fight your nature but at the same time don't make it so blatant that that's the only thing that interests you about a woman... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for a guy to get turned on by women's breasts?
Q. I am getting a bit confused here but its I can't just help it. Is it wrong for a guy to be attracted and get turned on by woman's breasts?...
A. 7 February 2012: Perfectly normal!!... (read in full...)
My girlfriend says she needs time and space, what does it mean?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for about a month and a half and everything was going perfect she seemed very happy and said I give her butterflies when ever I kiss her. We rarely argued and she also said she never wants to lose me because we ...
A. 18 January 2012: Hi,
What you're going through isn't all that crazy, from past experience, when a girl told me she wanted space, it normaly meant one of two things;
a) she was no longer interested in the relationship and was looking for the easiest way out ... (read in full...)
My husband is set on naming our baby after a child his mother miscarried years ago and I know I will regret chosing this name....what should I do?
Q. I am officially 3 months pregnant!! I have been thinking of names... The only problem is that my husband is set on the name Zoe, which i love, but i know he wants that name because his mother had picked that name for her baby that she miscarried a ...
A. 10 January 2012: Talk to him candidly explaining how you feel about it, and more importantly why you feel that way. As his wife you should get first priority when it comes to such matters.... (read in full...)
My ex wanted to reconcile, now she's conflicted between me and another guy. What should I do?
Q. Don't know how many people here have read my older questions but to start things off me and my ex broke up last summer after a 5 year relationship and things ended in quite an ugly fashion. Last November she contacted me via email stating that she's ...
A. 10 January 2012: If you aren't willing to take this crap anymore, then don't!
What does she mean telling you she wants to see who between the two guys has better goals, what is it, a job interview? And not to mention the audacity to actualy tell you that.
Dude... (read in full...)
I feel betrayed by my boyfriend
Q. i met my boyfriend of 8 months at my job when i started over two years ago. i was a bartender there and my (now) boyfriend would come in with his buddies for happy hour and that is how we met. unfortunately i had a very verbally abuse n...
A. 8 January 2012: It's good you managed to get out from under the thumb of some douche bag boss...but now you are making things a little difficult for your man again with all this. You had just quit, and were upset, and being a somewhat decent guy your BF did and ... (read in full...)
I want to be more proactive with guys. Should I just go for it?
Q. I asked this question last week http://www.dearcupid.org/question/have-any-of-you-felt-hopeless-or-clueless.html I saw this guy a few days ago at a friend's house when he finished work. I didn't stay long when he arrived given it being 1-2am but...
A. 31 December 2011: I say go for it. It's kind of sexy when a woman knows what she wants and goes for it, BUT be very selective about the guys you decide you want to let into your life. Take it one step at a time and you will be surprised by the rate at which your ... (read in full...)
I'm married to an old miser!
Q. Well, shortly, i'm 30years old, married to a 65year old miser! I have no source of income whatsoever. I and our 6 month old started living with him 2months ago. We had dated for an adequate duration. We have a bad situation concerning our finances. ...
A. 31 December 2011: Sorry about your situation, tough economy, difficulty finding decent jobs, marriage complications etc etc.
What attracted you to this man initially? Did you foresee any of the problems you currently face? And what have you tried to do to make thi... (read in full...)
He wants to stop chasing women. So he dropped me. What can I do to encourage him to not just walk away?
Q. Hi, I have been really foolish and now I'm stuck in a love relationship with someone who doesn't want to be with me. I'm 31 and female and met this amazing guy last year in a bar with friends, he's 3 years younger then me, funny, intellig...
A. 28 December 2011: Sorry for what you're going through, it's usually hardest when you have invested loads on someone emotionally. The simplest yet hardest thing that you can do is just let him be, don't push so hard for him to be with you, and don't do it all with a ... (read in full...)
I love him, but I keep denying it
Q. I'm very young, still. But when I think about my future, I think of it being with one person only. In highschool, I was a diver, school president, had lots of dates, took AP classes. I didn't find a boy I ever really liked. Except one. We became ...
A. 26 December 2011: if you dont want to feel constricted, then stop restricting yourself, life is too short to be shallow or give a damn too much about other people's opinions.If you both care for each other I say GO FOR IT!!! There's little you have to lose except ... (read in full...)
After 9 years he still doesn't know if he wants to start a family with me
Q. Should I break up with my boyfriend of 9 years? I have been dating this man for 9 years, we have had our ups an downs, but i have never felt so lost. There are a lot traits about him I love and Hate. But my biggest issue is he won't talk about ma...
A. 26 December 2011: give him an ultimatum and if his stance persists, you know what you need to do, it's your life, it's your future!!... (read in full...)
Everytime I tru to end the relationship, he tells me "I don't know what may happen in the future."
Q. My boyfriend of 14 months lives with his girlfriend of 4yrs... Everytime I try to end the relationship he tells me i don't know what may happen in the future. What should i do?...
A. 26 December 2011: this guy is manipulating you, and displaying a major red flag, I don't know about you but i'd let him go...potentially too unstable ... (read in full...)
We're together 24/7, what can we do to get our relationship back on track?
Q. Hey there, thank you guys in advance for your help. Me and my boyfriend were in a long distance relationship for 1 and a ahlf years. Then (because of problems at home) I moved 200 miles away from home and moved in with him and his mum. For the rec...
A. 26 December 2011: spend LESS time together, carry on with your personal activities separately to enable you think about each other and miss each other, it really is that simple regardless of your financial or eployment situation. This will make the both of you ... (read in full...)
I feel like I am competing with her kids and her ex
Q. Is it screwed up to feel as though you are sharing someone with kids and an ex? As though they're never fully yours and always belong to an ex. Its so tough to admit it though. ...
A. 27 September 2011: If you are competing with them,never feeling fully satisfied,why do you stay? You have to learn to first ensure you are happy in whatever relationship arrangement you happen to get into,and only then can you better play your part in ensuring your ... (read in full...)
My abusive ex-girlfriend has came back in my life, how should I treat her now?
Q. I had abusive girlfriend for 16 months before I ran away from her apartment in June this year. She was 2 years younger than me. Outside, I don’t think there could have been beautiful girl I have to see to date on this on earth like her, inside s...
A. 14 September 2011: The fact you walked out of the relationship having had enough of her drama is probably a reason why she is trying to act like the good GF now,as you showed you respected yourself enough to not take it any more,but in all honesty she seems very ... (read in full...)
I need help to decide between two men
Q. I need help to decide between two men. I created a pickle for myself and I am having a hard time finding the right way out of it. Background: I have dated a guy for five years. I am currently 26, he is currently 30 years old. It has been five ye...
A. 7 September 2011: Its clear to me that you have already made up your mind regarding the two but want a bit of validation...so to sum it up,the side dish absolutely rocks your world but you are reluctant to leave the BF for fear of hurting his feelings(right!?)
... (read in full...)
Do I need to drive to get a girlfriend?
Q. Should a guy be driving to get girls?, I am 16 and i am a senior at my high school, most of the girls in my class are driving and i am not, I feel like now if i want to ask girls out i need to be able to drive and stuff? i dnt know if i should ...
A. 29 August 2011: No you don't need to drive to get a GF!! That's your insecurities talking,and in my experience women are much much better than us men in sensing insecurity. I would'nt just tell you stuff like be yourself because that is generaly so unhelpful. What ... (read in full...)
My fiance says he doesn't trust me!
Q. I have been with my partner for 6 1/2 yrs, we are coming up to our 1yr anniversary for when we got engaged. And yesterday, he tells me that he doesnt trust me. He didnt give me specifics...but he says he has problems trusting people...is that a good ...
A. 29 August 2011: He says he doesnt trust you..after 6 years together! What the hell is he staying in a relationship with you for? That's probably going to be an issue later. Maybe you did something in the past to make him feel as so but who knows,the important thing ... (read in full...)
My ex suggests having a sort of FWB relationship and I don't know how I feel about it
Q. Is it possible to remain friends and have sex with a man you love deeply and have spent many years with while moving on? He never cheated,or physical abuse but was very unhappy with himself and no matter what I did could not prove the the tr...
A. 11 August 2011: Its a falacy thinking you can remain unattached yet have sex. If you both genuinely wanted to move on,you would make a fresh start,sever the chord. Consider this;if you were the one who was unhappy but still in love,would you still end the re... (read in full...)
Can short parents have tall children?
Q. Am average my fiance is short but we are in luv with each other my question goes our children are they going to be short, average or tall?...
A. 3 August 2011: It depends mostly on your genes and genetic predisposition,or rather your DNA,and those of your predecessors:parents,grandparents etc
My parents arent that tall,but i'm quite tall and i think i got it from my grandparents(never got to meet 'em... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 3 August 2011: This is very moving,going through all that you mentioned and managing to overcome. You are very strong and an article as such should be put up much wider to inspire many more people. I know the feeling of family and friends distancing themselves in ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to be jealous or does my boyfriend like this girl?
Q. We work together. We've been together for 4 months. The girl has worked there for 3 months... she started a month after he and I began talking and dating... Two days after she started, she had his number. Bc she and I were walking to the hap...
A. 3 August 2011: To start off,work place romances normaly are never wise to get involved in. Yes working so closely,needing to trust and depend upon each other can lead to people falling in love,but non the less they remain tricky
You have been dating around 4... (read in full...)
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