A
male
age
30-35,
*sedcarparts
writes:Don't know how many people here have read my older questions but to start things off me and my ex broke up last summer after a 5 year relationship and things ended in quite an ugly fashion. Last November she contacted me via email stating that she's been thinking of me and that she was sorry for the way things ended and she hopes to meet up and see each other again.I was conflicted and didn't know how to proceed. I finally decided however to pursue meeting up with her but not with the intention of starting things, rather for closure purposes and to catch up on things. We met over coffee and talked for about 2 hours. The thing is we had such a great time that neither of us wanted it to be the last time so we had agreed to see each other again and try to work things out. She then left the next day back to California to see her family for Christmas and I had agreed to pick her up when she got back. During her stay there however she had begun to grow cold and didn't communicate as much with me. Today she finally admits to me that she's stuck between me and another guy, and although her feelings for him are more of a light crush she doesn't want to pursue things until she knows who she wants. She said she has stronger feelings for me but that the other guy has stronger goals in life and now she wants to talk to me about what my goals are. I don't want to be caught in this love triangle and I really was just hOping we'd try to work things out without someone else being a factor. I don't know whether I should try to go forward with this and discuss matters with her or just call the whole thing quits. I do love her and I do want her but I don't know if I can take more of this crap. I need suggestions, advice, anything.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Dodds  +, writes (10 January 2012):
 If you aren't willing to take this crap anymore, then don't!
What does she mean telling you she wants to see who between the two guys has better goals, what is it, a job interview? And not to mention the audacity to actualy tell you that.
Dude she has your balls tightly squeezed in the palm of her hand, and the both of you know it.
It's time to grow a pair and stop hanging around like you have nothing or anyone better to do in your life, move on and stop offering her your strings on a silver platter.
(Alternatively keep doing what you have been doing and watch as she choses the other guy over you anyway)
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 January 2012):
 Call it quits.
If they want you half- you want them none.
In true love there's no room for indecision.
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A
male
reader, alphamalesyndrome +, writes (10 January 2012):
Yeah forget about it. Generally, never go back to an ex. It works in maybe 1 out of 10.000 cases. You get one chance per girl per lifetime.
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A
male
reader, eek  +, writes (10 January 2012):
 she is trying to have you as a safety net whirl seeing How it goes with the other guy. If you want to avoid the pain leave her and move on with your life.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (10 January 2012):
 Call it quits. She has to resolve matters with one before she can move forward with the other and it wouldn't be fair to you to wait around.
That's not to say you can't have a future with her, but she won't be in any hurry to resolve anything with anyone if both of you are willing to hang about indefinitely.
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