A
male
age
51-59,
*obbyAmerica
writes:Well im 42 and i have been dating this 31 year old irish woman for almost 6 months now . Thing is for the past week she hasn't been showing much interest in me at all since last saturday. I am not great looking i honestly don't know why she showed so much interest in me at all because she is stunning , we first met at work she would always come over to me at breaks and talk to me why? i don't know she was just always so nice and friendly and always invited me to go out with her and the guys at work so i did most of the times i then developed feelings so i asked her out on a date and things progressed from there. I have problems with my weight and its something i have always had problems with so yes i am quite a big man i'm not huge i am just carrying a good bit more than i should and shes slender shes like 5ft 3 so our height difference is also a big difference too and because of my weight i am no very good physically and i have tried to lose it but i can't because i find it difficult . It all started saturday night we went out and i invited her to my place after , then we had sex that night for the first time together and so she finally got to see me naked which was embarrassing at time but i sooner forgot, then during sex i began to breath really heavy and when she moaned i began to get really excited except about halfway i began to get out of breath and stopped because i couldn't catch my breath and she began acting all worried which was mortifying i then began again and she stopped me twice during it when i began to breath heavy again she then caught my face and staring into me asking was i alright it made me feel as if she thought i am not able to have sex i don't know why she reacted so stupidly because it wasn't like i was going to pass out. Then Sunday afternoon she went back to her place and i haven't heard from her since i did see her monday but she spoke very little to me at work and now shes off for two weeks so i don't see her at work at all. I have rang her 3 times texted her and emailed and she hasn't answered which is worrying me and i'm afraid to approach because i won't know what to say after saturday which was embarrassing for me and i feel so stupid for letting what happened happen i think she thinks im an idiot now . I really loved this woman she meant alot to me and now i'm afraid she doesn't like me anymore and that i have messed up things now, what do i do? do you think she doesn't like me over saturday? i really miss her and love her to pieces just want to know what i should do to get her to like me again because i have never met such a lovely person like her before please help !!!???
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2012): You really need to work on your confidence, I don't think it's that she doesn't find you attractive anymore, I wouldn't say thats the issue because she would have had an idea of what you'd look like with no clothes on and she still had sex with you. She probably got a bit of a fight, maybe she just wasn't expecting it.
I think you should give her space though for awhile and when she gets back to work just have a quiet chat with her and explain you feel awkward about what happened and you still want to continue seeing her because you really like her..etc.. If she's the nice person you say she is she shouldn't be scared off so easily, if she was really into you, so give space first and then have an open honest heart to heart, explaining how you feel. If she is still distant, then forget about her, she's obviously shallow, flaky... and why would you want to be with someone like that anyway.
Finally work on your confidence, if you feel that your weight is an issue for you or that its holding you back, then make a conscious effort to change that, book in with a dietitian, who can advise you on a suitable diet for you that won't be so hard to stick with, or join a gym. It would also give you a focus as opposed to worrying about things with this woman and your confidence will improve.
I hope it all works out for you.
Good luck.x
A
male
reader, Dodds  +, writes (24 March 2012):
 Dude, the best thing you could do is not try to force the issue. She isn't taking your calls, and showing lots of disinterest. The more you keep trying to reach her, the more pressure you put her under and the further you push her away.
Who knows why she is acting this way, maybe it was that night! Maybe you turned her on and she just wanted a day lay, got it and moved on...Who knows.
So stop feeling unconfident about your body because women are primarily attracted to confidence. I've attracted hot babes back when I was a heavy dude and I still do now. What matters is this thing- confidence, believing in yourself and how you make her feel when she's with you.
So do things that build your confidence and make you feel good whether it be working out or going sky diving etc. Women are very good at picking up such vibes. And for heavens sake stop pushing and pursuing this woman so hard, it'll make her think oh so little of you the more you do it
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