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*loverfield agony aunt

*loverfield

United Kingdom  (Male   XML/RSS

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*loverfield's profile:

Im in my mid 30's....

"We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives."

I work a mundane job, for a pointless organisation, achieving nothing at all....

"On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero."

Im pretty sure Ive become exactly what I always wanted to avoid....

"If you wake up at a different time in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?"

123Next > [3 pages, 61 answers]

Is there phone hacking going on or does my husband have something to hide?

Q.   Hi, this is going to sound really silly but I need some advice. I've been married to my husband for 7 years and we have a great relationship. We are happy, healthy, love our kids, love each other, sex is awesome and we just have a lot of fun. We've ...

A.   18 August 2010: That doesn't sound at all good..... & I’m afraid I just don’t buy your husbands explanation. People just don’t go to the hassle of cloning, what you've been told is an almost unclonable phone, simply to make a few calls to escorts. I have to go w... (read in full...)

He has a girlfriend, but does he like me?

Q.   there is this guy who my friend says like me. he stares at me everytime i go into the shop he works in, and it is sort of constant staring. he always smiles at me and comes over to talk to me and seems happy when he is talking with me and happy to ...

A.   18 August 2010: I do think he likes you, I cant see any other reason he'd do so many things for you, spend so much time with you while working, or divulge information about his relationship if he didn't. My concern is this, what if his current relationship isn'... (read in full...)

Define "harmless flirting" from married mans point of view

Q.   OK so there's a guy at work who is very friendly with me, I was instantly attracted to him and there was chemistry however as soon as I found out he's married I completely backed off, I didn't realise because he doesn't wear a ring. That hasn't ...

A.   16 August 2010: Hmmmm, each thing on it's own is pretty harmless. However, as a collective I'd say he's overstepping the mark, especially for the workplace.... (read in full...)

I like one of my best friend's ex girlfriends. Do I act on it?

Q.   I really like one of my best friends ex's. I don't know how to cope with this, I've known her longer than I've known him but am closer to him as a friend. The problem is I want to try a relationship with her but not to lose my friend, at the moment ...

A.   16 August 2010: This really isnt any problem at all..... just tell your mate first, im sure he'll say its fine by him.... (read in full...)

We want to have anal sex, advice?

Q.   Hey Peoples ! , Me and my boyfriend are both virgins and we've decided to have anal sex so there wont be a risk of me getting pregnant , will he still have to wear a condom though? and is anal sex good? Thanks , :) ...

A.   16 August 2010: I wouldn't recommend it for a first time....... there are many, many things that could make it a horrible & painful experience for you. Additionally, if it's his first time then it'll be over so quick you wont get anything out of it.... (read in full...)

Dating my cousin. How judgemental will society be?

Q.   Hello, I am a male and I'm dating my cousin. She is not blood related to me, but do you think that people will still judge and criticize us? I love her very much and I want to be with her. I just hope people won't judge us....

A.   16 August 2010: Hmmmm, it probably depends what state you're in....... (read in full...)

The mysterious clitoris?

Q.   whats the best way to stimulate the clitorus?...

A.   16 August 2010: Well.... once you've found it, slow steady pressure seems to be the key. & if stimulating it manually remember to keep ur finger moist. Remember, whatever you're doing, once she's into it, do not do anything to break the rhythm without some cue ... (read in full...)

Alcoholic cheating husband. what do I do?

Q.   hi. im a 35 yr old mom with two kids. 6 and 4. a girl and a boy. married for ten yrs. my husband is a social alcoholic or thats what he says. got a dui driving his girlfriend home at 4am and isnever home to help with children. he keeps saying ...

A.   13 August 2010: My father was a cheating, lying alcoholic too. His presence did massive damage to me & my brothers, not to mention my mum. For the sake of your children keep him as far away from your lives as is humanly possible.... (read in full...)

Worried about my ex

Q.   Bit strange, so bear with me! The woman I was seeing, broke up with me just over a month ago. She'd previously been in an abusive relationship but we were very happy together. We were talking about moving in together and having kids, the whole ...

A.   13 August 2010: Honestly, other than advising her friends & family of your concerns & advising her that you'll be there as a friend if she needs a bolt-hole, there's not much you can do. The only alternative is to contact Social Services & advise them of any conc... (read in full...)

She's 15, I'm 21, I know its wrong but I like her!

Q.   Hey im 21 im a guy...im not a retard i dont do crap that isnt wrong...i work im just a good guy but the problem is that i really like a girl and the thing is she is 15 we click so well and i know its illegal and to me its wrong but the fact that i ...

A.   13 August 2010: Everytime you see her, repeat the following words in your head & Im sure you'll stop yourself doing anything foolish....... 'Megan's Law, Megan's Law, Megan's Law'... (read in full...)

Withheld Unknown number keeps calling my cell!

Q.   i have a problem that has bothering me for the couple of days...i have a new number on my cell and someone has been calling me for the couple of days with the withheld number and unknown number....please i need to know the number of the person who ...

A.   13 August 2010: Have you tried googling the number. Often these are automated numbers, or it could be people trying to contact the last person who had that number. Happened to me with my new phone. Dont call or text back though incase its some kind of scam.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend wants me to meet his ex

Q.   my boyfriend likes to talk about his past sexual relationships, and he has also remained friends with several of his ex-girlfriends. now he wants me to meet one of them because of his friendship with her. i must admit that this really makes me feel ...

A.   13 August 2010: No, not at all. I'd be feeling pretty insecure if my partner still had a close relationship with an ex...... & I certainly wouldnt want to meet up.... (read in full...)

Are there signs here that he likes me?

Q.   Hey everyone.. im just back from my hols and my older sister invited her boyfriend as well.. and i think he likes me.. im not sure.. Okay so here are a few of the things he did.. When ever i sat beside him he would always smile at me..and when he ...

A.   13 August 2010: Yeh, the mans a predator & is looking to bag the whole family. Your sister needs to know who she's dating!... (read in full...)

Is what I'm doing normal?

Q.   hey i'm 15 and i'd like to know if what i'm doing is normal. I work in a dojo/school with my sensei/teacher to help pay off lesson costs. And because my school messed up my time table i'm going to work there in some of my free periods(which i ...

A.   13 August 2010: There's nothing abnormal about wanting a little human contact, we are social creatures after-all. I do think you should tell your Sensei whats going on though. So much in martial arts is about respect and trust, & he might be able to help.... (read in full...)

We have a dysfunctional relationship but I don't want to leave him! Help!

Q.   My boyfriend is 2 years younger then I am....and before our relationship was serious and we decided that we were going to be monogomous, he told me about his past here and there and made it clear he has a very long list of women he has been with. I ...

A.   13 August 2010: & you're sure he's only 2yrs younger than you? because he sounds really immature. Additionally, him being in contact with past girlfriends should be firing off big warning signals for you. From what you've written my gut feeling is that while he ... (read in full...)

Does this virgin have the equipment to satisfy her?

Q.   dear cupid, i've been going out with her for a month now. she has invited me to stay the night with her. but i'm nervous that my penis will not be big engouh for her. i'm 6inches when i'm erected and the girth is 1.5 and i have still got my forskin. ...

A.   12 August 2010: Buddy, you're within the 'average size' bracket so no need for concern...... also, given that circumcision is pretty rare in the UK she'd probably find it odder if your old-boy was snipped. Just remember, the first time with a new partner is alway... (read in full...)

Is he getting too close for comfort... just for a viza???

Q.   I'm 13 years old and i went on holiday to turkey and met a nice man over there.He liked my family and my family liked him. On the last day of the holiday he wanted to take me to the beach but parents wouldnt let me for obvious reasons such as we had ...

A.   12 August 2010: Seriously girl, he's either a paedophile or is using your naivety to try to get himself a visa..... either way, steer clear!... (read in full...)

Girlfriend spends to much time with this other guy. It seems to be non-sexual from her side but should I be worried?

Q.   I have been with my girlfriend for five years. In the last couple of years she has become friends with a single man. It is more than obvious to me that he is attracted to her. She always tells me that they are just friends and she in not ...

A.   12 August 2010: Well, I think she's spelled it out to you loud & clear..... if you try to make her chose between you & him, she'll pick him. I'd move on if I were you.... (read in full...)

I want my boyfriend to know the real reason why I shut down, but I'm scared..

Q.   Heyy, i have been with my boyfriend for a long time and i love him with all my heart, just he doesnt know what happend to me when i was younger (14) and what happend with my ex before i met my boyfriend now. well basically when i was 14 i was rap...

A.   12 August 2010: When I was 17 my girlfriend told me about the abuse she suffered as a child...... the best advice I can give you, based on my experience, is to prepare him in advance. Do not just sit him down & drop this bombshell on him. Tell him you have to ... (read in full...)

Does my bf want another gf???!!?

Q.   My bf is looking for a new job so, most probably he'll be moving to another city. He was really upset (since he just lost his job and also his ex who works with him isn't really friends with him anymore) and asked me if I would remain friends with ...

A.   12 August 2010: I got a different feeling from what you say he said.... to me it sounded like a couched way of saying he wants you to move with him, not that he wants a new girlfriend.... (read in full...)

We are together after being separated but my wife is very distant now

Q.   iam a 41 yr married male and have been married for 10 1/2 yrs we seperated for 8 mo and she called me to see if she could come live with me and try to work thimgs out after she had lost her job in arkansasi had moved to indiana and been doing well ...

A.   12 August 2010: My gut-feeling here is that your wife asked you to come back because she was on a downer. You say just before she called you she'd lost her job. Well, she was bound to be feeling pretty depressed, I guess money would be a worry etc. I feel she ... (read in full...)

Is he just that busy? Or just blowing me off?

Q.   I've known of the guy in question for several years. He is pretty close friends with some acquantinences of mine. (they are just acquantices, i dont feel comfortable making them privy to this, so asking for their help is OUT OF THE QUESTION) All ...

A.   12 August 2010: I think you can afford to give him the benefit of the doubt here. As you say, saying no is not an issue for him, so it does sound as if he's interested. I wouldn't persue him any more, but I wouldnt be suprised if you hear from him fairly soonish ... (read in full...)

What more can I do to make it up to her?

Q.   Hello I am feeling very down about things and how my relationship has turned out. Things with my girlfreind are not good and I feel things can only continue this way for so long. Six months ago I broke my girlfreinds trust and revealed a very per...

A.   12 August 2010: I do think you need to have a do-or-die type conversation with her about this. It's unfair of her to continuously use this if she claims to have forgiven you. Perhaps if you explain to her your reasons for talking again. Explain to her that... (read in full...)

Is my boyfriend a cheater or am I just paranoid??

Q.   I've begun to be suspicious of my boyfriend of 2 years. We haven't had any problems in the past although I have been cheated on by a previous partner. Our sex life has slowed right down, we only really have sex after a couple of glasses of wine now! ...

A.   12 August 2010: All those symptoms are very commonly associated with depression. How has your boyfriend reacted to being made unemployed? Most men attach a huge amount of their self-esteem to their jobs / careers & the loss can easily be highly undermining. & if ... (read in full...)

Do you believe that there is only one true love in your life?

Q.   Do you believe that there is only one true love in your life? ...

A.   12 August 2010: I know there's no logical reason to believe this, but yes, I think there is only one special person. However, I don’t necessarily think you have to find that person to be entirely happy. ... (read in full...)

Married with 2 kids but interested in men

Q.   I am a married man with two kids, but I think I'm atleast bi curious. I have strong urges to find out what it's like to be with another man....

A.   12 August 2010: I’ve never thought of sexuality as a static thing, so don’t think you should berate yourself for having feelings. However, out of respect for your wife, I strongly advise you not to pursue this particular urge (I'd be saying the same thing if it ... (read in full...)

Question about a friendship proposal

Q.   Please decode the following... "While one can never have to many friends, I am afraid it would be pushing boundaries that I just cannot". Very confused and can't quite figure it out. Any ideas?...

A.   12 August 2010: Tricky without any sort of context. However, on face value it sounds like this person is saying, very diplomatically, that they don’t need another friend. As I say though the context is what will give the meaning, for example does this person mean ... (read in full...)

How can I tell if my wife has sexual experiences before me?

Q.   how cani know that my wife had no any sexual relation in past,that he had not done sex before marriage,from her argument i think that she is telling lie....

A.   12 August 2010: Well..... assuming the two of you have had sex, then you cant. It's all a question of trust.... (read in full...)

Cheated on my wife or not?!

Q.   Hi, I am married and despite the fact that I love my wife very much, I seem to be attracted to other girls as well. Not to the extent of getting to know them or get physical with them though, just simply having a good look at them. I am not a ...

A.   12 August 2010: Hmmmm, as 'sexlessintheuk' said, that does rather sound like a knocking-shop rather than a genuine massage parlour. & fooling around does basically qualify as being unfaithful. Ask yourself, would your wife mind seeing what you got up to? Now, ... (read in full...)

I've had sex but never had a real boyfriend!

Q.   Now its been over a week since me and this other guy have been talking. And I have a quite embarrassing comfession to make. Although I have had sex and have had many boyfriends..I haven't had a REAL boyfriend. You know the ones who take you out on ...

A.   12 August 2010: Hehe, that is cute :) I think you'll find most of us are nervous before a date, especially in the early stages of a relationship. & how much you like him will definitely be reflected in your anxiety. Just remember, if you find yourself wi... (read in full...)

I caught him cheating for the 3rd time! He says he won't do it again?

Q.   i had a relationship for 3years with a guy.i love him very much and had changed myself so i would get along with him.but he never seem to be pleased no matter wat i do for him. he says he loves me too but the problem is that he keeps on cheating. i ...

A.   12 August 2010: I believe that in life, once you cross a line, there is no going back. He's proven to you that he's capable of messing around with other girls, then lying to your face without giving him any moral issues. Stick to your guns & don’t forgive this ... (read in full...)

How do I know what I am?

Q.   How do I know if I'm gay, bi, or straight?...

A.   12 August 2010: I don’t think you can be really sure until you're abit older. Even then though, I don’t actually believe labelling yourself is a useful thing to do. My perspective has always been that people fancy who they fancy. Who's to say a straight man wont ... (read in full...)

Can a cheat ever be trusted?

Q.   I suspect I’m setting myself up for something of a beating here, but such is life.... To sum up the situation, some time over the next couple of months I will be leaving my wife. There are numerous good reasons for this, her lack of support,...

A.   12 August 2010: "i can understand that ur confidence is shattered but uve also ruined both of these women's lives. so make sure ur committed and be sure wen u take the next step.. try to take a step that hurts everyone in the least way possible." Many thanks f... (read in full...)

Is this considered incest?

Q.   [Mod Note - OP's own title] I recently visited my cousin during my vacation in LA. She's my first cousin and she's a very attractive girl. We're both also 29 years old. While we were hanging out I asked her about the night clubs in LA. She said...

A.   11 August 2010: Heh, kinda a grey area...... chalk this one down to experience, enjoy the memory, & never tell a soul!... (read in full...)

Is my penis too big? WIll it ever stop growing?

Q.   Why is my penis so big? so i am only 14 years old and my penis is already 7 inches when erect i wanted to know if it has stopped growing because it can be really embarrasing sometimes i dont think i could cope with anything bigger and because im ...

A.   11 August 2010: Well, 7 inch is roughly the national average size, so chances are you wont get much bigger...... & if you do there's a lucrative career in porn ahead of you. The only real thing I can say about the random erection issue is, its a stage everyone... (read in full...)

I love my husband but I am tired of being alone!

Q.   I'm married 2 years. Been with my husband for 5 years. Problem is I'm lonely and don't know what to do. My husband has a child from a previous marriage. His child lives with my husband's mother everyday even though he pays his ex child support. My ...

A.   11 August 2010: No, not at all. You're husband is being selfish to a truly gargantuan degree. ... (read in full...)

Too self conscious of my body to really enjoy sex!

Q.   Heyy :).. i been with my boyfriend for a long time, and our sex life isnt bad, i just want to make it more exciting, but im too scared becos of my body. i know my boyfriend loves my body and doesnt care, where as i do, and i dont like trying n...

A.   11 August 2010: Self-image is an incredibly difficult thing to sort once & for all, just do what you can. With regards to the sex / pain thing. It sounds as if he might be abit too long for you, & he's hitting your cervix, something I believe is quite pain... (read in full...)

I'm in love with my best friend what do I do?

Q.   Ok I have a bit of a dilemma,I'm in love with my best friend. Her and I have been friends for about 3 yrs now and also work together for the past approximately 6-7 months. Over those months we have gotten to be best friends. We know just about ...

A.   11 August 2010: Im slightly concerned that you've got yourself in the 'friend zone'. The only thing to do is decide if you can face the consequences if she says no, if so, then ask her.... (read in full...)

How many guys will you have to sleep with to be considered a whore?

Q.   How many guys will you have to sleep with to be considered a whore? is three that many when your only 16?...

A.   11 August 2010: Well.... so long as you're not charging then you're not a whore. Although, if you're not happy with your tally then you can always say no.... (read in full...)

Scared of sex but wanting a child, can I become pregnant by injecting my husband's semen?

Q.   I am scared of proper sex and in my house everyone want baby, So my husband fill his sperm in a dropper and put it in my vagina..........is it possible that in this way i can become pregnant?...

A.   11 August 2010: Hell, anythings possible...... but nature did a pretty good job in designing a 'dropper' already, its between his legs!... (read in full...)

He has a girlfriend, but does he like me?

Q.   there is this guy who my friend says like me. he stares at me everytime i go into the shop he works in, and it is sort of constant staring. he always smiles at me and comes over to talk to me and seems happy when he is talking with me and happy to ...

A.   11 August 2010: I think he probably does like you, he's certainly giving off the right signals. & I'm sure he would accept if you asked him out for a drink...... none of those things means you should though!... (read in full...)

Can a cheat ever be trusted?

Q.   I suspect I’m setting myself up for something of a beating here, but such is life.... To sum up the situation, some time over the next couple of months I will be leaving my wife. There are numerous good reasons for this, her lack of support,...

A.   11 August 2010: Many thanks for your answers.... (read in full...)

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