A
male
age
41-50,
*RG
writes:dear cupid, i've been going out with her for a month now. she has invited me to stay the night with her. but i'm nervous that my penis will not be big engouh for her. i'm 6inches when i'm erected and the girth is 1.5 and i have still got my forskin. will it put her off when she see it. as i'm a virgin i'm terrified of not satisfying her. i don't to let her down please help me i'm worried sick about it
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (16 August 2010):
 You need to stop the pity party waggon right now. Or you will never get laid or have a girl friend.
Find a hobby, get to know people - RELAX! you don't have to be someone you are not. There are PLENTY of shy people out there. However, if you don't PUT yourself out there no one is going to just show up at your door.
Janice sounds like a total bitch. Good riddance to her.
Look at your life, find the positive things and FOCUS on that. When you have a positive out look and attitude the rest will follow.
You may have to "kiss" a lot of frogs before you find that special lady, but there are some out there for everyone, that.... includes you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2010): Q is right listen to yourself. Yes a woman is going to want to go out with you, Janice did! If you carry on with this attitude oh they will say no, your body language is going to be all wrong. It's up to you but if you don't ask, then how do you know?
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A
male
reader, ORG +, writes (16 August 2010):
ORG is verified as being by the original poster of the questiondear cupid, why will nobody listen to me women just don't want to know me. i'm very shy have no idea how to approach or talk to women never have. i know if i did ask any woman out i would be turned down every time. i know even before i approach a woman i will be turned down that why i don't bother trying
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A
male
reader, ORG +, writes (15 August 2010):
ORG is verified as being by the original poster of the questiondear cupid, i will never find a girlfriend because i'm stupid that what janice said over the phone . and she is right. what woman would put up with me anyway i'm useless and not very attractive . i was lucky to get janice. i will never find other one because it took me 5 years to get janice. i'm not very good at chatting up women in fact i'm useless at it. i'm not very confidant around women never have been. even when i was at school i just couldn't talk to girls i always on my own. girls never came over and talk to me not even in the classroom. i will never know what it like to have sex.
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A
male
reader, ORG +, writes (14 August 2010):
ORG is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthat it i give up i will never find a woman that will put up with my nervousness about sex . i've got this feeling it going to be painful. i just can't get it out of head. i even went to my doctor about it. she examined my penis and said everything is ok. she gave me pills. i'm clear of any sexual disease. now all i have to do is find a girlfriend and that will not be easy. it took me 5 years to find janice. then pluck up the courage to ask janice out. janice was first girlfriend. i will never find other one. what woman would put up with me about nervousness about sex. when they can get someone who can give them what they want in bed. i probably had my chance and blew it. i'm a idiot and useless pathetic person.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 August 2010):
 Hey, if the woman truly cared about you and loved you, she would have the patience to help you get through your nerves. Janice was not for you. Find a woman who wants a meaningful relationship and take your time to get to know each other and fall in love before you take it to the bedroom.
And no, sdhe most porbbaly did NOT dump you because of your nervouness, but because she was probably in it for the sex and not you as a person. Which is why she wasn't right for you to begin with.
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A
male
reader, ORG +, writes (14 August 2010):
ORG is verified as being by the original poster of the questionjanice has dumped me over the phone because of my nerves i will never satisfy any woman because of my nerves i'm useless there's not a woman that will put up with me.
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A
male
reader, Boris Grushenko  +, writes (14 August 2010):
 When I met my current GF, I had been single for 7 years. She ... well, that's quite a different story. I was inconfident; she, whith all her experience, was scared.
In the beginning sex was a disaster: I messed it up quite a few times, I needed a circumcision; she always had pain. But still, no matter what, she was the one asking for more ...
We've been together for a year and a half now and guess what ... I've become very confident, I sometimes mess up on purpose and we often laugh about our first times. Even her pain has mysteriously disappeared.
I think what helped me most, was to stop focussing on whatever kind of climax. We kissed more (sometimes in the grossest adolescent fashion), caressed each other much longer, started doing all kinds of crazy stuff (like punching each other in the stomach as hard as we could), talked and got a lot of laughs. We didn't care about where it would lead us; it eventually gave us what we dreamt of ...
I think the best guarantee to a healthy, satisfying sexual relationship is being able to talk about your relationship. We've always been talking a lot and since we became involved, we've also (but not predominantly) talked about sex. We do talk about what we like and don't like but most sex-related conversations are about feelings.
When your GF says it's allright, she's honest. When she tells you not to worry, there's no reason to.
We don't know how you've met, how long you've known each other and what your relationship is like, but my own experience - I've had the same doubts as you do - tells me this relationship (and becoming sexually active) is a big step for you. She knows it is (you've probably told her already) and will be patient with you.
Your girl is probably your best friend, just as my girl is mine. This friendship will do more in keeping you together then your "fumbling" will do in breaking you apart.
I think the best advice I can give you, is to go easy on yourself. There's more then one way to please a women, and you don't always need an orgasm to have great fun/sex. Explore all possibilities patiently, don't hesitate to set one step back when you feel you're moving to fast (but make sure to tell her what happened), ask for feedback (you both have to learn to read each other's reactions and in this, with every new partner one starts from scratch) and, since you matter too, tell her what you like.
I think you are somehow overestimating how important sex, as YOU think it should be, is to your GF. Consider that just maybe your GF does not expect what you think you should offer her. Maybe it's just the nearness of you that makes her tick.
Remember that you're both learning and that your sex life will be a lifelong evolution. Never forget that making love is something you're enjoying together.
Try to let go of your doubts and keep in mind that "Wherever you go, there you are."
You'll be fine.
PS: "Wherever you go ..." is the title of a book on meditation.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2010): What's the hurry? Get to know her enough that you're not worried about her reaction. From what you stated, you don't have anything to worry about, except for being worried about it.
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A
male
reader, ORG +, writes (12 August 2010):
ORG is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you everyone for your advice. when we went to make love my nerves got the better of me i just froze i just couldn't do anything janice says it was alright not to worry about but i'm worried sick i will never get there and lose janice to someone else. i tryed everything everyone said but my nerves got the better of me. i hate myself for letting janice down. i know i will lose her now.
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A
male
reader, Major Stallard +, writes (12 August 2010):
well the first thing is to get your size out of your mind, 6 inchs is the normal read it NORMAL size for man of your age, the girth is usually 1inch, so there you are, you are perfectly fine in all ways.
Have you informed her that your a virgin? this will settle your nerves.....and hers.
When it gets to the point, just relax and enjoy yourself man, sex is a beautiful thing, its part of life, dont worry how you will perform as this will improve. If you want to, read up on sex, watch it and take notes in you mind!
Best thing to do is be honest, your a virgin, she needs to know this so that it dont put you both off when you are to enraged with nerves that you cant get erect!
Foreskin is normal, alot more men have it than uncircumcised men! They are both perfectly normal, as long as your clean, washed etc. Its not like shes going to examine it and takes photos. Its no unusual as im sure that she has had partners before with foreskin?
Talk to her about what is worrying you, and if she cares for you/love she will not dismiss you, but only try her best to help you.
Learn up on oral sex aswell ;) Remember practice makes perfect.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): Ok let me tell you the biggest secret to satisfying a woman. Shhhh don't tell anyone. You must make love to her mind first and foremost. You have to get her to completely forget about everything except how your making her body feel. You have to make her feel like every inch of her body is going crazy. Free her mind and her body will follow. Don't just go straight for her vagina right off the bat. Softly and slow kiss every inch of her body EXCEPT for her vagina and her nipples. It drives women crazy because they ( for the most part) aren't expecting it. Good luck! And remember.... Mind first!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): You should not be afraid or embarassed. There are so many things that women are worried about in regards to their own bodies. Try to push that out of your mind-you are not the only man who still has his foreskin and 6.5" is a nice size and as long as you make sure to take time to arrouse her and concentrate on all of her special parts- the love making will not be disappointing. You have hands and lips too don't forget. All of these things put together and used in the right way will more than satisfy your partner. Just don't rush into things. Make sure she is the one you want to give your virginity to!
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A
male
reader, ORG +, writes (12 August 2010):
ORG is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you very much for your advice i will do what have suggested and ask janice what she likes knowing me i will do something stupid because i will be very nervous for the first time hope she understands that
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (12 August 2010):
You are just fine.
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A
male
reader, Cloverfield +, writes (12 August 2010):
 Buddy, you're within the 'average size' bracket so no need for concern...... also, given that circumcision is pretty rare in the UK she'd probably find it odder if your old-boy was snipped.
Just remember, the first time with a new partner is always anxious. The best advice I can give you is to pay attention to her body & respond accordingly. Deepening & quickening breaths etc, they all tell you when you're doing something right. & don’t be afraid to ask her.....
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A
female
reader, louise spreadbury +, writes (12 August 2010):
 think about if this girl reallie loved you then it shouldnt matter what you look like or how big or small your penis is.
she is proberbly just as scared as you are wondering whether or not you are going to enjoy it.
if you reallie are that worried though maybe you should try talking to her and telling her how you feel! Xx
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (12 August 2010):
In case you haven't heard it before, it really isn't the SIZE that determine whether a women enjoys sex or not.
TAKE your time with foreplay. Get her of first using fingers and mouth and there will be nothing to worry about.
ASK her what she likes, have her SHOW you.
And there is nothing wrong with foreskin.
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A
female
reader, ShexiRawwrrMew +, writes (12 August 2010):
Well if she likes you it shouldnt matter, maybe she might have been with someone bigger and maybe someone smaller we all come in different sizes and shapes and no one can be perfect so if she isnt please by it then tell her where to go and you can do better !
hope this helps
Rebecca
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