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Is this considered incest?

Tagged as: Family, Forbidden love, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 August 2010) 10 Answers - (Newest, 12 August 2010)
A male Canada age 41-50, anonymous writes:

[Mod Note - OP's own title]

I recently visited my cousin during my vacation in LA. She's my first cousin and she's a very attractive girl. We're both also 29 years old. While we were hanging out I asked her about the night clubs in LA. She said we could do something more fun as long as I promised not to tell anyone. I was curious so I agreed to it. We went back to her place and she called two of her girlfriends over. It turns out my cousin had invited two of her friends which were strippers for my entertainment. After the two girls danced and did their thing my cousin also got dressed up in a sexy outfit and performed a raunchy striptease with her two friends. I was surprised by what she did but at the same time I was enjoying it so I didn't say anything. Then she started dancing on my lap and grinding on me. She told me to relax and just enjoy it and that's what I did. I was turned on by what she was doing and it felt good. So is it normal to get turned on by watching her dance and do sexually explicit things with her girlfriends? Is it normal to enjoy receiving sexual pleasure from my cousin? I keep wondering if this is considered incest even though we didn't actually have sex.

View related questions: cousin, incest, stripper

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for all the replies. I think this was probably one time experience and its not something that will continue to happen. Its nice to know what happened isn't considered incest because for a while I wasn't sure and I thought it was. I wasn't even sure if getting aroused at the time was normal but what's happened can't be undone. I don't know why she did it or if she used me but I guess it is a little strange that she did what she did.

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (11 August 2010):

dirtball agony auntHa, I go to LA every year and this kind of thing never happens to me. Mind giving me your cousin's number? Just kidding.

A little wierd, yes, incest, no. Like TimmD said, it's is natural to feel arousal in such a situation. I'd be more worried if you didn't.

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A male reader, Jmtmj Australia +, writes (11 August 2010):

Jmtmj agony auntI really need to visit LA one of these days...

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (11 August 2010):

DrPsych agony auntIn some cultures and religions, dating and sexual activity between cousins is condemned. However, here in the UK first cousins can marry if they wish. I think it presents a problem if your family are close to her family since you now have a secret between you. I think she brought her friends as a safety net - it is ego enhancing to dance in front of an admirer. However, her friends were there to stop things getting too serious. It wasn't incest as you are distant relatives who didn't have sex, but some people may judge you if you decide to relay the story.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010):

If this woman is your blood cousin, then YES, there is something "wrong" IF she was doing "sexual" things (as you call it) to, with or for you. There are tons of beautiful women in the world, you don't have to do anything with your cousin. It's ok that she got the other strippers for you, but for her to strip for you should have been a no-no.

And for the guys on here who say there was no harm done...SHAME ON YOU. If you guys had a daughter, would it be ok for her to strip or do sexual things for a male cousin in the family??? Answer that question.

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A female reader, Gabrielle Stoker United States +, writes (11 August 2010):

Gabrielle Stoker agony auntIt's not incest...yet, and wht you felt was inevitable in the circumstances, but this girl sounds like trouble.

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A male reader, Cloverfield United Kingdom +, writes (11 August 2010):

Cloverfield agony auntHeh, kinda a grey area...... chalk this one down to experience, enjoy the memory, & never tell a soul!

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A male reader, TimmD United States +, writes (11 August 2010):

TimmD agony auntMy opinion, if you are single... then you're fine. Yeah, she MAY have used you... but I don't think it was with bad intent. She knows you're a guy, obviously she's comfortable enough to do this sort of thing with you. As long as you are not falling in love with each other then who cares? You are a guy and you're going to get aroused by watching attractive women strip in front of you and grind on you.... cousin or not.

Of course, this just could be because I'm a guy.... but I don't see anything wrong with it. A little odd? Yes. Incest? No.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (11 August 2010):

Fatherly Advice agony auntShe used you to try out her Wow power. She wanted a "safe" place to try out what her friends were doing. I wouldn't be too worried about this if it wasn't for your ages. You should both be smarter than that by now.

She set you up and used you. Let it go, start to heal, and learn your lesson. Don't let people use you like that again.

FA

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A male reader, bartmaverick United Kingdom +, writes (11 August 2010):

bartmaverick agony auntStop complaining and fill your boots while you can!

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