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Married with 2 kids but interested in men

Tagged as: Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 August 2010) 8 Answers - (Newest, 17 August 2010)
A age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I am a married man with two kids, but I think I'm atleast bi curious. I have strong urges to find out what it's like to be with another man.

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A female reader, natmarie United Kingdom +, writes (17 August 2010):

natmarie agony auntI think you should give it a go with a guy to find out and put your mind at rest, and no you don;t have to 'ceom out' to your wife unles it gets to a critcal point. EG: you are going to leave her for a guy. I mean, why tell her now and hurt her? that's nuts. Good luck xxx

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A male reader, AvgGuy1 United States +, writes (13 August 2010):

AvgGuy1 agony auntI would venture to guess... that you've had these 'urges' for quite a while and now they are just becoming far more pervasive than you're comfortable with.

Basically, two things can happen. You can experiment and find out whether you're truly bi/gay... and then deal with the consequences (perhaps divorcing your wife if necessary... cause you'll HAVE to 'come out' to her... OR... you can bury it away and suffer through it as a recurring nightmare that will nag you over and over throughout your life.

Which can you truly deal with? Causing them pain if/when they find out about you (which they will most likely get over)... or burying it and suffering through it the rest of your life? This is one of those things that just doesn't go away.

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A male reader, yum yum Switzerland +, writes (12 August 2010):

yum yum agony auntHello. If one day you realise that you are Gay I think then you should come out of the closet and tell your wife because its no fun living a lie. There are many gay people who are married nowardays who are coming out of the closet while having a commited relationship. The social stigma and prejudeces keep many bisexuals and gays buried in the closet. Its not your folt and you don't need to feel guilty about the way you feel. Take care.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010):

Hello. If one day you realise that you are Gay I think then you should tell your wife. There are many gay people who are married nowardays who are coming out of the closet while having a commited relationship. The social stigma and prejudeces keep many bisexuals and gays buried in the closet. Its not your folt and you don't need to feel guilty about the way you feel. Take care.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

You are all right.

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A female reader, xxxcz me United States +, writes (12 August 2010):

xxxcz me agony auntokay, so you want to experiment. but imagine how your wife would feel. it's still cheating you cant justify it with it being a same sex affair so stop it NOW

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A male reader, kevin3007 United States +, writes (12 August 2010):

kevin3007 agony auntwhy you're doing this do you have any idea how much it will hurt your wife and how about your kids have you thought about them you're their idol their hero do you want them to be like you do you want to disappoint them

sir have a life i beleive that emptiness is doing this to you so instead of thinking to be with a man do something usefull like taking a good care of you family...good luck

ps:when you married your wife i think you promissed to be faithfull to her forever and in front of people.

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A male reader, Cloverfield United Kingdom +, writes (12 August 2010):

Cloverfield agony auntI’ve never thought of sexuality as a static thing, so don’t think you should berate yourself for having feelings. However, out of respect for your wife, I strongly advise you not to pursue this particular urge (I'd be saying the same thing if it were another woman).

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