Like what
he writes?
... Add *JH to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *JH a private message | | | *JH's profile:Im a 43 year old guy from the UK. I`ve worked as a professional Agony Uncle for the last four years and joined Cupid for a variety of reasons - not least to "keep my hand in" whilst I hunt around for a new contract as the old one finished recently!
I`ve lived a fair bit and have four grown up children as well as two grand children!
As well as my work in print, I worked on air on national and local radio with Jeremy Kyle on his "Confessions" show before ITV came along and snapped him up. I now present a similar show on Vectis Radio on The Isle of Wight and love every minute of it! Peoples lives and problems have always fascinated me.
I can`t pretend to have all the answers but I have extensive experience in many of the key areas in life. What qualifies me to answer peoples problems? Nothing more than the fact the questions have been asked in the first place!
I welcome any feedback on the answers I give as any problem can have a variety of solutions! In particular, I`d love to hear from people who have resolved their issues as a result of this site!
Currently stubbornly struggling like mad with an iPad which seems to have a mind of it's own and a predictive text system which is unpredictable! Excuse the typos! |
|
Everything was going so perfect, why did he do this?
Q. hey agony aunts. ok so ill get straight to the point. i broke up with my boyfriend a few months ago, i was with him for 9 months, he was my first serious boyfriend. he wasnt right for me, i knew it and so did everyone else, he constantly questioned ...
A. 5 January 2011: You could look at life that way and play it safe, build some walls around yourself but it wouldn't be much fun would it?
Things, even seemingly matches made in heaven, can and do go wrong. The only positive in that is that you learn more about yo... (read in full...)
I'm super attracted to this guy, but will he feel less of me for my 'enthusiasm' on our second date?
Q. I had sex with a guy on basically the second date ... Something I never do but I was just super attracted to him. I'm a little worried he'll judge me for it but I hope not, What's done is done anyways. How do I read his body language? After ...
A. 18 December 2010: Hey everybody is different. Whether I make love on the first or hundredth date, I dont think it means I see the lady differently.
You had a good time and so did he, enjoy that and try not to over analyse the who situation.
Others may di... (read in full...)
My girl friend is sending naked pictures of herself to her ex. Is that cheating?
Q. So the girl I've been dating for 6 months now has been sending naked pictures to her ex, and having conversations with him while telling him that she loves him too, and that he should come over to have sex with her, all while telling me that she's ...
A. 18 December 2010: She isnt worth your time really is she? Have some self respect and tell her to sling her hook. Whethers shes clear or unlclear about what she wants from you, shes proved here that she doesnt love or respect you in the least.
You can spend months t... (read in full...)
Is it too soon for me to get feelings for a guy I met on FB?
Q. I met someone on fb but I already knew him from when we was younger. We talk everyday he tells me just about everything. I really like him. I believe I'm starting to catch feelings for him. Do you think it's to early for me to start catch feelings?...
A. 18 December 2010: Feelings creep in when they creep in there is no set timescale.
How long have you been chatting this time?
In general, going with the flow rather than over thinking a situation like this is the best bet though. The more you focus on working... (read in full...)
How can I stop the past meddling in my new relationship?
Q. This is the first time, I'm saying this out-loud, well not out-loud, but to someone else, besides myself, so bear with me people. My ex boyfriend and I had a horrid relationship. Constantly fighting, breaking up, you know the usual. But I sti...
A. 17 December 2010: The simplistic answer is that you're clearly not ready to be with your current boyfriend if you're that worried about going back to the old one.
If only life was that easy though huh? Have you thought about being on your own for a while so you c... (read in full...)
I know I'm in dangerous water here...
Q. Ok this may be stupid but I think im falling in love. I don't know how it happened. One minute my thoughts were purely on why I was so afraid of everything that has been happening. I mean i've been really perceptive to everything my SO has been ...
A. 17 December 2010: You should stop worrying and enjoy the relationship!
Why does it matter who loves who the most? That's probably the surest way to mess things up. Love is about giving not receiving so just carry on as you are and be happy that you've found so... (read in full...)
Heartbroken and confused about my future love life.
Q. I dated someone for 8-9 months and it has been fully 5 months since the breakup and i'm still not over him. it was my first relationship. the break was really hard. I am worried that maybe he is the one, why else am i having such a hard time moving ...
A. 17 December 2010: The clues to your problem are in your question.....
This was your first relationship so you are bound to want to cling to it for as long as you can. If this guy really was the one you would be together right now.
Letting go is difficult each a... (read in full...)
Not getting enough sex, would you involve a third person?
Q. What would you do in this situation? I am married now for 9 years and I do love my wife, but I think we are more of friends than lovers. We had a strong sexual relationship before we got married, having sex 4-5 times per week, many time...
A. 16 December 2010: You are treading on very, very shaky ground here. Youre going to break your wifes heart the minute you suggest this crazy idea to her so please just DONT!
The love and respect between you is worth more than sex all day every day for the rest of ... (read in full...)
Am I just his backup?
Q. Hello everyone, I am a mid-20 year old guy who has never been in a real relationship (kissing, etc,) with either a girl or a guy... however, I have been aware over the past several years that I am primarily attracted to men. Over the past...
A. 16 December 2010: Its sounds very much to me like you are both operating at a very different pace. If you want the truth, my own feeling is that this guy has got the balance right and youre overcomplicating things by rushing. If you and he are meant to be, it will ... (read in full...)
Is he just a moody guy?
Q. Okay so im in a strange situation, I am at uni and living with three other girls and a guy. Me and this guy have some history and used to be really close, he was there for me at a time when i was vulnerable and lonely and our friendship is ...
A. 16 December 2010: Why not forget about his weird behaviour for a moment and work out what you want from him?
You mention the jealousy you feel but is that just a result of what you had or is it all about what you want?
Youre asking us here, complete strange... (read in full...)
I'm wanting to make ex pay for what he did to me
Q. I'm not sure what I am looking for here but, I need some kind of help with processing feelings I am having concerning my ex. My ex ended it with me 7 mths. ago after 7 yrs. together. He basically left me for someone else although, they did not get ...
A. 16 December 2010: Its still early days isnt it? Just seven months down the line, after seven years together, youre bound to be going through a variety of emotions. I know its a cliche but time is the only remedy for you here. Its not the best time of year to be sa... (read in full...)
Talking to his ex......again!
Q. Last summer, my boyfriend (lets call him T) and I had to be long distance for about 3 months because of school. During those months, his ex got back in contact with him. Now, T met this girl on some social networking site. At the time, she was li...
A. 16 December 2010: Largentsgirl is spot on. The one thing shes missed is the fact that you feel the need to look throught this guys phone! Thats not healthy at all is it? OK so its allowed you to catch him out but to feel the need to do it in the first place goes... (read in full...)
Can sex or my penis size ruin my relationship?
Q. Hello everyone, I just started to go out with my girlfriend, and she seems like the greatest girl in the world except for one huge problem. At times she can be very sweet and caring and there are other times where she can be very judgmental. She ...
A. 16 December 2010: If everything else is perfect the size of your manhood really shouldnt matter. Some women will tell you that size matters and others will say it doesnt so theres no right or wrong answer. 5.5 inches is about average, its not massive, its no... (read in full...)
He's in an open relationship, does this mean he can date me too?
Q. there is this boy i realy like and i told him but he said he has a girlfriend but now on facebook his relationship status says in an open relationship does that mean he could stay with his girlfriend and go out with me?...
A. 16 December 2010: Regardless of his Facebook status, you should evaluate things here for yourself.
Do you really want to be in this kind of relationship at your age sweetheart? Think about giving this guy a miss unless he is prepared to dedicate himself to you rath... (read in full...)
Am I wasting time on my husband?
Q. It has been a month since I found out my husband was having an affair (he didn't tell me, I found out). After a lot of talking, I've taken him back (he agreed not to have anything to do with her again)and we have been to counselling and that seems ...
A. 16 December 2010: If you cant trust him whats the point?
Hes already dumped on you by having this affair in the first place and of course you were right to try again. Given what youve said about these texts though and his obvious reluctance to be complete... (read in full...)
Why do guys do this...
Q. this is not a relationship related question...actually they are several questions. 1. why do guys find butts so attractive? 2. why do guys grow their nails long...that's just gross 3. why do guys seem incapable of thinking about anything but sex? ...
A. 16 December 2010: In answer to your questions.....
Not all guys find butts attractive although I myself do - as for why? I have no idea.
We grow our nails long because were just plain lazy - sorry.
I think about a lot of things aside sex but sex is important... (read in full...)
I don't talk to women due to past rejections, so now what?
Q. ......how to deal with rejection? (I have had rejection many times, and had no sex life for around 7 months, some people say masturbate but i think its a waste of energy and fluid and is self harm so i cannot enjoy masturbation, and this apparen...
A. 16 December 2010: We all have a different view on masturbation I guess. To my mind its one of the most natural things you can do and it does help to relieve pressure. Think long and hard about your attitude towards it. I`m not suggesting you sit there playing with ... (read in full...)
He has a thing for younger girls and I am worried he might try it on with me now I'm 18!
Q. So I am a senior in high school and 18. For two years now I have been singing with diffrent musicians at diffrent venues. Now that I am "legal" I am able to sing in bars....I have a new musician Im working with named "tom"...tom is 33..he has an ...
A. 16 December 2010: The first thing you need to to is gain some perpective!
Your mother is absolutely right, you will start to get attention from guys of all ages. Some will be polite and treat you with respect whereas others simply wont!
Right now youre woryin... (read in full...)
Am I over analysing here or is she losing interest?
Q. My situation is this: I have known this woman for quite a while although it was more like we knew of each other rather than actually knowing each other. Anyway, we formally met about six months ago while out with a bunch of mutual friends a...
A. 16 December 2010: Just because the "honeymoon period" seems to be over, theres no need to start wrrying yourself silly that its over. Your girlfriend will almost certainly pick up on that and the whole thing will turn sour.
You may be right, maybe she has realised... (read in full...)
Where do I begin to heal the pain learn to love who I am?
Q. Dear Cupid perhaps you can help me, I am a 47 year man who has been divorced for 8 years, I have recently been in a friendship which sadly has come to abrupt end, for various reasons. The young lady in question has decided after a summer together...
A. 16 December 2010: Lozzer, I`m going to be completely blunt with you I hope you accept that I`m just being honest rather than critical. There may or may not be something you can do about losing this girl. You`ve been there before with your marriage and the age old ... (read in full...)
A whole world of hurt...
Q. hey y'all I need some help. Let me start off by talking about my girlfriend. This girl is one of those girls that always makes sure you are smiling, she is just one of a kind. I could write about how much we are in love and how amazing we are ...
A. 16 December 2010: You know what, yu may just have found your soulmate here. Its been many years since I`ve read a love story like yours, dont throw it away. You have the internet - webcams - telephones and all sorts of ways to stay in touch with the girl of your... (read in full...)
Is this what you call being in love?
Q. there was this guy in my life he asked me out but i siad no but we are still friends on facebook i think he loves me he always walked me home and was so nice to me but never made a move on me because i wouldnt be his girlfriend but he did ring me a ...
A. 16 December 2010: Without knowing the guy its impossible to say but his actions, at the very least, show he likes you.
Stop asking what love is and wait until you experience it yourself. When that does happen, youll understand.
One piece of advice for you t... (read in full...)
Would I become a wannabe???
Q. One of my friends in school has a really cute style, but I'm afraid that if I start dressing like her, I will become a wannabe. Do you think it would be a bad thing if I want to dress like her???...
A. 16 December 2010: It would be a bad thing if you copied her every move and dressed like her just because you had decided to rather than the fact you liked the look.
Life is about being an individual but that doesnt mean that taste or style is an exclusive thing.
... (read in full...)
Emotionally upset with boyfriend after anal sex and his past with prostitutes.
Q. I am feeling upset and insecure in my relationship of 10 months now. My partner is 53 and I am 38. He told me early on in the relationship that he went to prostitutes when he was in his 38 for about 3 months but stopped because he was wasting his ...
A. 16 December 2010: What is it with your preoccupation with sex? Hey, I`m not saying a healthy sex life isnt....helathy....but youve written over a page of text here and talked mostly about sex but hoping for answers relating to respect! Slow down woman!
First... (read in full...)
One day I want to be with him and the next day I don't!
Q. I've been with my bf for 2 years now. He is 9 years older then me. I in general tend to oscillate a lot. Well with our relationship is the same. One day I'm 100% sure I wanna be with him and the next I'm wondering rather or not I wanna be with him. ...
A. 15 December 2010: Moving in together is a monumental step - no matter how close you are at the moment, sleeping under the same roof and sharing lifes ups and downs together contantly is a whole new ball game.
Your moods could well be down to the fact that youre pe... (read in full...)
What should I do? I could give up on it but I really like him.
Q. So I joined an online dating site. I guy messaged me and we have been chatting since then. Probably on average of 4 times a week if not more. I didn't see his picture before we started chatting on Skype. We decided to meet after about 2 weeks. The ...
A. 15 December 2010: Its difficult to see what your problem is here exactly? Lets see, youve met a guy you get on with and also have natural chemistry with? He also seems to like you?
The reason you want to let him slip away is? Good grief girl, go for it, grab thi... (read in full...)
She's come back to me, but I'm uneasy about what went on with the other guy
Q. ok so i have a bit of a problem. my ex girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me about 5 months ago ans only about a week later she was seeing someone new. the thing is that her relationship progressed quickly and went as far as telling him she loved ...
A. 15 December 2010: It worries me a great deal what she cheated on this guy with you behind his back - how can you be sure she isnt now doing the same to you or wont, at some point in the future?
I think your concerns over how quickly she hopped in his bed or told ... (read in full...)
Am I going to be alone forever?
Q. I need a lot of advice. I am good for an afternoon and then I get sad again. I broke up with my ex of 6 years and after 3 miscarriages. I now have a beautifull 15 month son. I will graduate in March with my Masters degree. I have a very close ...
A. 15 December 2010: Theres a saying, there's somebody for everybody and it's true! It sounds like you've been through a lot with your previous relationship - all those unfortunate miscarriages are bound to have taken their!
Rather than concentrating on what you don'... (read in full...)
She left me after years of my asking her if she'd ever cheated on me!
Q. i need help. ive been with my woman for ten yrs and have 2 kids. ive cheated on her numerous times because i thought she cheated in the first few years of our realationship, mainly because we had sex the first nite. she used to leave me and go out ...
A. 14 December 2010: I`m not sure what youre saying when you say you "put your hands on her" - you mean youve hit her? If thats the case, can you even begin to imagine how that must feel? Would you want to be with somebody who was violent towards you? think about it? ... (read in full...)
Everything was going so perfect, why did he do this?
Q. hey agony aunts. ok so ill get straight to the point. i broke up with my boyfriend a few months ago, i was with him for 9 months, he was my first serious boyfriend. he wasnt right for me, i knew it and so did everyone else, he constantly questioned ...
A. 14 December 2010: Youre blaming yourself for something that clearly isnt your fault - stop it!! Stop questioning your worth, it will just drive you absolutely bonkers, trust me. You guys did have a whirlwind thing and now, despite the depth of your feelings, it see... (read in full...)
Is he a player or does he mean it?
Q. In the past I have always gone for guys I knew it would not work with, or guys I knew who were really just in it for sex. It worked for me at the time cause I was not ready for a realtionship. Now I am wanting to get into a Relationship, and have ...
A. 14 December 2010: Without a crystal ball or ESP its going to be impossible to know exactly what this guy is after.
Whats plain to see is the fact that youre letting your fears and even your view of yourself get in the way of somethat what could be amazing!... (read in full...)
How do I tell my teen son about my new girlfriend?
Q. I'm recently divorced from a long, unhappy marriage, and with a new partner whom I admittedly was involved with while my marriage was failing. I have a young teen son who has been pretty OK with the divorce, but he knows nothing about my partner. ...
A. 14 December 2010: Messy situation isnt it? I dont think any aspect of divorce is easy, especially on the one party who will always be innocent - thats is the children!
Im encouraged by your honesty and a large part of me thinks you should afford that same honesty ... (read in full...)
Should I try to kiss him?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been dating for almost two months now, we hug and tell each other we love each other but he wont kiss me. Also, I'll talk to him and he says "i got to go", so i ask if i'll talk to him later that day, and he always says ...
A. 14 December 2010: It's difficult knowing exactly when that first kiss should happen but I have to admit, two months seems a long time!
Have you ever wondered if this guy is thinking exactly the same as you? You say you love him and he loves you too so why not tall... (read in full...)
| *JH's friends
These are mutual friends, so *JH has
added them and they have added *JH!
|
