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... Send *heers a private message | | | *heers's profile:Dare to dream. Follow your dream. Take a step at a time. Don't settle for less. Just continue to climb
If you've a will to work on it,surely you can achieve it!
Keep yourself motivated always & be happy!
I'm Indonesian living in Singapore. Teaching is my career which i enjoy so much. I really grateful to my Mom & My late Dad. They introduced Music as career path. My hubby is a caring guy. Whenever hv time,we'll travel overseas to explore, relax.
I'm a breast cancer survivour under remission 4yrs. After surgery,doctor asked me to hv chemotherapy to get rid undetected bad cells for 6 months(16 injections) plus radiotherapy& hormone therapy(5yrs). With determination& family support,i endure the pain, hair loss& hot flushes. I wore a hat and juggle to work, eat healthy diet plus exercise regularly.
My motto: I'll come out ALIVE frm this misery. I'm not afraid as I'm still young & don't want to lose the battle.I face it.I survive. Yes..yes,I did it!
I learn hard lesson how precious the life is. Health is the most important things. I become even more caring person,keep learning, take things easily, more patient& brave to face any situations, do more charity.
I'm proud to be agony aunt. though not experienced as Top Experienced Agony Aunty or uncle, I'll constantly learn, keep myself updated. The experience make myself become problem solver, motivated to help and act of giving& sharing. indeed priceless!
Thanks for your time reading it. CHEERS |
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What criteria do I use to choose which guy? I like them both. They know each other.
Q. A few weeks ago i met a guy and we've been getting on well and he's been taking me out over the past few weeks and it's been nice and it's obvious he likes me but he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend (I know it's only been a few weeks so i guess ...
A. 12 September 2011: Then don't do it, my dear. Watch out and think carefully before you do.It's your future.Don't ruin it! You might end up hurting yourself. It isn't wise to date both guys, especially they knew each other. You could landed in difficult position... (read in full...)
What criteria do I use to choose which guy? I like them both. They know each other.
Q. A few weeks ago i met a guy and we've been getting on well and he's been taking me out over the past few weeks and it's been nice and it's obvious he likes me but he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend (I know it's only been a few weeks so i guess ...
A. 11 September 2011: check for characters, behaviours & respect. Does he follows your decision or forces his idea to you? what's his interests? Is he a planner? does he talk about future relationship with you? Is he saver or spender? Does he respect and cares about ... (read in full...)
Why can't he be in the same room as me? I don't think he and his new girlfriend will last....
Q. I am 22 and I am in a a stupid situation, I know what I am supposed to do but it I am finding it weird and difficult,me an my ex have been broke up for almost two years an i know that i should not of been holding him back or holding onto him, he ...
A. 11 September 2011: Don't get distracted with ex affairs.Pls not bother anymore eventhough he calls you back.
cos you get more important to do. That's to build up your own FUTURE.It's on your hands.Don't wait as time travels fast.Pls do it now!... (read in full...)
I have lost trust in my now ex. But am doubting myself too. And I have no proof he stole from me. How do I get through this?
Q. We have been together for nearly a year... I am 21 years old have a good job and live by myself. He is 28 still lives at home he has a job but it pays very little. I keep all my money in a drawer and the other day when i went to go and take some...
A. 11 September 2011: There's a safer place to put money. Definitely not inside drawer but deposit at BANK. Pls open account asap and put it there. Make an effort & be discipline. the points is to track how much money you have and how much you'd spend already.got it?
... (read in full...)
I need to know how to stop this reaction to seeing him
Q. Last month nearly two months I ended a short relationship with a guy and I had a problem that I posted a question on here. I used to feel sick when I looked at photos of him (it was a messy breakup) and I was worried that when I went back to college ...
A. 9 September 2011: It's mindset! Pls make up your mind to let go the past first. Now it's calm, peace moment and not affected by emotion at all. Pls work on it! It's all your efforts. Just treat him as nobody else.
Don't run frm it,cos problem will happen again bu... (read in full...)
Is he trying to let me down gently or does he really want "friendship"?
Q. A guy contacted me on line. We corresponded for about 3 weeks and the conversation was good. I asked if we could meet up and things kept getting in the way; first it was my family commitments, then it was extreme weather, then it was his work. H...
A. 8 September 2011: sort of an experienced guy.
He doesn't want to give you a wrong idea when meet up later that he's interested in you. That's why he says friends only.
It also reveals he might been in relationship before. He simply more cautious now. He's not rea... (read in full...)
How do I get this guy to talk to me?
Q. I,ve been meeting my man for about 2 months now and even though we're not a proper relationship i,m happy with the way things are. we meet up once a week and go out on dates but the last couple of days he hasn't really been talking to me....I think ...
A. 8 September 2011: well, what's his interests/hobby? Start frm here. Any foods he likes Best? Italian, indian or chinese? bring him out there.
Use eye contact whenever talk to him. SMILE always! Dress nicely,sexy. Talk more abt his intersts. Listen and praise h... (read in full...)
She wants an abortion but I disagree! What can I do?
Q. Ok so I don't know where to start.. I recently found out that the girl I've been seeing is pregnant with my child. The problem is she does not want to keep the child she wants to get an abortion and I strongly disagree with her! What can I do for ...
A. 8 September 2011: Oh,so sorry.Pls be strong.
Hope this hard life experiences really make yourself more mature person & patient. You learn how to deal problem effectively, improve communication skills and understand human characters also.
Give yourself tim... (read in full...)
I've uncovered the truth, but he won't say anymore!?!
Q. I have a huge problem! I started dating this man, he told me that his past wife died, I fell in love, well through time things were not adding up, red flags. Come to find out his wife did not die! He is married. I confronted him and he said he would ...
A. 4 September 2011: He should have told you in the beginning instead of you find out the truth. Didn't you realise,he's not honest person? Can't imagine how much more he had been hiding frm you. Ask him... (read in full...)
She checked out the waiter and now I'm wondering if I should be worried?
Q. I have a fiance that i am mad about, but i got a bad impression a few days ago that has been driving me crazy. We were at a bar having drinks, when a decently fit waiter showed up to serve us, and could see that she was impressed by his appearance ...
A. 1 September 2011: She's simply not a sensitive person(character)& active gal. Unknowingly,she hurts your feeling. But not means she doesn't love you at all. This type of person needs constantly be reminded whenever out of track. i can understand how you feel
Pls b... (read in full...)
Should I tell her why she's no longer my best friend, or just allow time and distance to do that naturally?
Q. In a couple days I am seeing someone who used to be my bestest friend, until she did something very unforgivable! (Too long to explain what happened). Anyways, I haven't spoken to her since this happened and she seems to think things are okay with ...
A. 1 September 2011: Don't contact her as you've more important things to do now. That's regarding university. Don't you agree?... (read in full...)
My soon to be ex lacks boundaries-how do I stand up to him?
Q. I really want to get over my ex, we are currently going through a divorce, I am divorcing him for his adultery with an ex best friend of mine!! He is in a relationship with her and living with her. We have a little boy too. I really want to get o...
A. 1 September 2011: well, in his heart he feels guilty leaving you. That's why is he keeps bugging you now.
You'll get the child custody, right? How's about maintenance that he had to pay you? house?
Simply reply him short answers ( fine,thanks or all-right or... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is marrying another girl, which is now making me stressed!
Q. My boyfriend is married with some other girl. She doesn't keep him happy in any way. She is arrogant and doesn't respect him. He himself tells me all this. He is 15 years elder than me. We had three years intense relationship. I suggested him to get ...
A. 1 September 2011: The fact is he already choose her, Not you. He's married.
Pls don't involved into this.Pls move on. Take care ... (read in full...)
How do I politely tell my man to man up, and how do I tell my future mother-in-law, politely, to stay out of our affairs and not to interfere in our plans?
Q. Hi everyone. I need some advice on how to deal with a domineering future mother-in-law. I have been in a relationship with my guy for the past 5 years, who just graduated and is now working. It is not my intention to marry now as I am still ...
A. 1 September 2011: Hi,Avienda. I understand your points.
Tell your future MIL face to face that you'd made a decision that you want to finish the study. It's important as it'll be a dream comes true which make yourself very proud. You get prospective job in futu... (read in full...)
Should I give b/f a birthday present even if things are strained?
Q. dear cupid, i've been dating this guy on and off since april. here pretty recently, we've kind of been having some struggles--he decided that he doesn't feel as happy in our relationship as he used to. i've talked to my mom and his mom about it...
A. 31 August 2011: If you want him to be your partner in near future, pls do it! pls observe his reactions.Is he looks happy to meet you? Does he solves his own problem already? is he ready to settle down?
From here, you know where you stand. Is it worth to wait? Pl... (read in full...)
How do I politely tell my man to man up, and how do I tell my future mother-in-law, politely, to stay out of our affairs and not to interfere in our plans?
Q. Hi everyone. I need some advice on how to deal with a domineering future mother-in-law. I have been in a relationship with my guy for the past 5 years, who just graduated and is now working. It is not my intention to marry now as I am still ...
A. 31 August 2011: If you still want to be together, you've to learn to accept the fact that he won't able to stand on your side in future. but not means,he doesn't love you. You just need to tolerate more & be a patient person. Can you do that?
What's your real con... (read in full...)
I want the husband and family. Am I too old now?
Q. I am 27 and my partner of 4 years has just left me for a younger woman. I was meant to get married to him and have a family and no near my 30s I find myself single. Is it too late for me to have the husband and kids? ...
A. 31 August 2011: First thing you've to do is gain back your confidence.
Get out, hang out with your friends, involved in activities which has opportunity to meet the next prospective guy.
I know a friend who got married on 34 yrs.As she's a career oriented... (read in full...)
What do I do? I don't want to be the other woman
Q. I met this gorgeous Irish guy in my first year of university and we had a casual relationship, which I am not proud to say was behind my boyfriend's back. I split up with my boyfriend, but the guy I was seeing then got a girlfriend and we lost ...
A. 31 August 2011: Be mature and understand your position. Pls don't get involved as you knew he has someone already.
Do you realise he isn't committed at all? IF he leaves the girl to be with you, He can do same thing to you one day. Scary thing, isn't it? retr... (read in full...)
Should I leave my partner because we are at different stages in life?
Q. I met my partner 3 months before we became a couple. We were just friends and got along really well. He became one of my best friends very quickly and we ended up getting stronger feelings for each other. We have been together for 3 months now...
A. 31 August 2011: Pls Communication. Discuss and voice out your planning to him face to face. So he know the points that trouble you all this time. Hopeful he can understand and get along with you ... (read in full...)
He wants me to be normal with her so her husband doesn't find out about their relationship!
Q. me and my partner just had newborn baby (4 weeks) his cousin wife come down to help me i just had a gut feeling that some thing was going on i walked in the living room and they were kissing hes apoligized but doesnt know why he did it and now he ...
A. 31 August 2011: My hearts goes to you. Be strong!
Problem lies on your hubby. Tell him to behave from now on or else i'll tell to secret to his hubby. Ask him to COMMIT to be a loyal & good father as the baby was just born. Let's patch things up for the sake of t... (read in full...)
I think I might be in love, but he doesn't seem interested
Q. Hello, i really need help. I think i might be in love, or at least very close to it. I know this sounds like a typical soppy teenager, but i really dont throw that word around. This guy i met - he's awesome, and he makes me feel all fuzzy, and i ...
A. 31 August 2011: Come on! You are fine & a pretty girl.Be confidence! what you lack of now is the courage. Build it up,my dear.
If you like the guy, pls join his activities to get closer. Then approach him to tell that you'd a crush with him. He needs to know thi... (read in full...)
She wants an abortion but I disagree! What can I do?
Q. Ok so I don't know where to start.. I recently found out that the girl I've been seeing is pregnant with my child. The problem is she does not want to keep the child she wants to get an abortion and I strongly disagree with her! What can I do for ...
A. 31 August 2011: Really want to do anything?
1.Pls propose to her and married her asap.
2.ask her to give you one more chance.
3.Simply say sorry making her stress out these days.I'm wrong to do that to you. pls forgive me.
4.Tell her that you love her so much... (read in full...)
Are we both too proud? Why am I like this? I never wanted to hurt him or to get hurt so easily
Q. I am 19. Seeing a now 35yr old man. We have been seeing each other for nearly two years. I secretly love him, and he has told me he loves me. But, he has gone away on bussiness and I miss him. We spoke to each other on Skype every morning and nigh...
A. 31 August 2011: No point to keep quiet(too proud to say so).In the end you LOSE him forever. That's not what you want,right? come on
My dear,Pls make the first move!
pls give him a call/sms asap and BREAK THE ICE.Get it? don't be afraid. Be brave as you'd not... (read in full...)
I get emotional when I hear about child abuse.
Q. Im 28 and a mother of a beautiful 16 month old baby boy. Every night before I fall alsleep i cry for all the beautiful little kids out there who are not cared for or are victims of child abuse. I cannot get my head round the fact that there are ...
A. 31 August 2011: You are a great MOM & have a great compassionate Heart.cheers!
How about you help out in counselling group? pls sign up!
By doing this community work, you know clearly that you already help people in many different ways. Their life change cos y... (read in full...)
How do I ask my boyfriend if he sees himself married again?
Q. I have been dating a great guy for 7 months now. I am 43 and he is 46. I have been divorced for 5 years and he for 10. We really like each other a lot. We have a lot in common. We like each other's kids. We get along well and have good ...
A. 31 August 2011: I'm happy for you able to find the person that you found in love,able get along to and hv same interests.
Come on,just be brave to speak what's on your mind.I believe you CAN DO IT1!
Tell him that you are ready for further step into marriage. My... (read in full...)
I couldn't take back my ex, and now I wished I had!
Q. Dear Cupid, right now I have no idea what to do. Anyone that can give me words of comfort, advice or anything would help me so much. I will try to explain what has happened as best I can and show how i feel as much as possible. Basically, it ...
A. 31 August 2011: Pls calm down and think clearly to move on.
Things turned out this way cos lack of understanding & communication to each other. This's a hard learning point for you. pls don't repeat same mistake!
Time will make you a wiser person, more mature,... (read in full...)
I don't even know how to react! After 7 years part of me wants to move on, but then another part of me cant let go.....
Q. Bear with me this is a long one. Alright so 7 years ago a friend of mine introduced me to this girl over the phone while I was in summer vacation in my home town, we immediately hit it off and kept in touch through the phone, a few days later I...
A. 30 August 2011: Pls move on & accept the fact. What's needed now is totally Determination to get over it.Be strong!
Make yourself start a new beginning....as you deserve the better one... (read in full...)
Didn't hear from him for a month??
Q. I've been dating this guy for 5yrs and I haven't heard from him in over a mouth until today he texts me like nothing should I respound bck oh and yeah his bithday is coming to shold I call him or just leave it alone?...
A. 30 August 2011: You didn't mention if you like the Guy. Frankly there's a Hint, possible he's not interested. you are only back-up. Be brave! If you're interested, pls respond. But clarify what happen last month, not a single call received. Frm there, you... (read in full...)
My girlfriend got emotional when I told her I wanted to join the military.
Q. Hey everybody in in a bit of a situation with my girlfriend. I'm considering a career in the US army or air force and when intold her she just Bursted into tears and told me that if she lost me. She would he losing the person who actually cares ...
A. 30 August 2011: Really consider to join US Airforce?
It's a good intention showing how patriotic person you are to serve the country. cos not everyone choose this path. Well,I'm proud of you
She's bit emotional. Her reactions show that she cares alot for you... (read in full...)
Finding a unique name for a baby boy
Q. Dear all...hope you all are fit and fine. I needed you guys help. My sis has just given birth to a baby boy and we are looking for a sweet unique name starting with either A or S. Can you all please suggest some unique names....Thank you...
A. 29 August 2011: Sisqo,Shawntae,Salvatore,Simone
Alfie, Althea,Alfred... (read in full...)
I am embarrassed to talk to my Doctor!
Q. I m getting medical treatment for my thyroid problem from our family doctor who is a mid aged(35-40) male doctor. Now while getting these medicines i hv noticed growth of coarse hair on my thighs and breast which is more than normal now. I need to ...
A. 27 August 2011: It's your health. Anything you find bothering, should be consult to doctor RIGHT AWAY. Put aside feeling shy/embarrassed cos male doctor. Be open minded
Pls don't confused,Dear. Pls make appoitment asap
... (read in full...)
How can I tell my parents? I don't know what to say. I feel depressed and I'm scared about not getting the grades to get into University.
Q. My feels have taken a nosedive over my grades. I've just sat my A level exams this summer. I didn't quite get the grades I was hoping for nor did I get my predicted grades... I got BDD. I know, I'm stupid right? When I do study it will mean I a...
A. 27 August 2011: I know one close friend. She isn't so intelligent but a timid &kind girl. Though She learns but always slower than others. Her Parents know this and plan for her future (just FOCUS on one subject which can turn out as a career). Their decision is ... (read in full...)
I was rude and spoke out of turn to my married mentor. Is there any hope I could turn this around to my advantage?
Q. Hi, I find myself attracted to married guy I've been talking to the past year as a mentor. he's attractive and kind. i didnt want him to know as i thought he might not want to talk anymore. i recently got upset and said things i didnt mean such as i ...
A. 27 August 2011: You should face current situation that you are single but he's married already with a wife& family to support.Pls don't interfere them.
Be open minded & think of other people. If continue,You'll be hurt even more. Let go...... (read in full...)
Is it the mystery and excitement that attracts me to him?
Q. Dear Cupid, Before I start I'll just give you some brief info about me. I'm 18, turning 19 in two months. I've never had a boyfriend. I've never been serious with a guy. I had, had only one kiss with one guy which was over two years ago. ...
A. 26 August 2011: Thanks for writing so frankly. You simply never do it before,so the feeling of excitement really engross you so much. People do smoke and party but that does not mean they're bad,as long they know the limit. There's still lots more you've to ... (read in full...)
Should I leave him, or should I stay and just be a patient girlfriend?
Q. Hello everyone, I have a little bit of situation here. And i need your advice. 2 months ago i meet this guy from a dating site, and then everything happened so fast and he asked me to be his girlfriend and i said yes because i liked him. I was ...
A. 26 August 2011: He doesn't totally commit to you as girlfriend. He's unstable and keeps changing his moods which affects this relationship. Whether his excuses are true or not, please do check out (not just only accept his excuses). So you'll know what the truth is ... (read in full...)
She asked me out for coffee, but is she wanting sex?
Q. Can everyone tell me why a MARRIED woman has just asked me out for coffee??? I am married, too. Is she looking to start an affair with me or could she just like me as a friend only? Is there something wrong with two married people going out for ...
A. 17 August 2011: Keep a clear mind.It's just coffee talk, chit chat & nothing special.
You love your wife, don't you? So you should know what you shouldn't do as MARRIED MAN. Am i right?
Lucky it's out for coffee only. If go PUB, pls object. obviousl... (read in full...)
I'm confused. She gave me her number and now won't answer?!
Q. So, a couple days ago at work this group comes in. I'm behind the desk so I help everyone. Consequently I sing really well so from time to time i sing to customers and at some point during the night, must have sung to this girl because she came up ...
A. 17 August 2011: Don't feel desperate yet. Try again! You're active guy type but she's not). She's shy,not sure how to react. she needs more time
There's NOT BONDING yet & TRUST between you and her.If interest, this's the area you've to DEVElOP.... (read in full...)
Why does my husband flirt with everybody but me?
Q. Why does my husband flirt with everyone but me? He seems happy when he's with me. We laugh and cut up and have so much fun together. But the other girls get the "sweetie" and and the touches and stuff. Is he just a really flirty guy? I am a few days ...
A. 16 August 2011: Hi. You are doing great,be Happy& be confidence! Have smooth delivery& Enjoy a happy parental. Try to get his attention back, by talking about babies & how he'll going to be & what's the baby name. The point is to keep him busy always... (read in full...)
Why are my friends being so rude and reading my messages to my boyfriend?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles, I recently got an iPhone and my friends have been playing with the games I downloaded. I have no qualms about lending my phone for my friends to play but 2 of them have conveniently went to my Whatsapp to read messages between ...
A. 16 August 2011: They're not true friends who you can rely on. True friend will always protect you and lend his/her hands whenever in trouble,not making fun of you at all.
Mark closely who the culprit are. Now you can judge them back ... (read in full...)
Pregnant and not sure how to tell my fiance.....we decided we didnt want kids yet!
Q. I found out I was pregnant this morning and havent told anyone. My fiance and I decided we didnt want kids yet as we are way too busy with our jobs (hes a rugby player and i am a busy primary school teacher). Neither of us believe in abortion and i ...
A. 16 August 2011: Be brave to talk to him. You need to face it sooner or later.See his reactions.Both of you are responsible for this happening. Fiance? not official marriage yet? Pls arrange soon. I knew a teacher who still working till one month before delivery ... (read in full...)
He won't put pictures of us together on FB but will happily post pictures of a female colleague!
Q. Hi everyone. My hubby recently get hook with facebook, with his photos posted alone. when i handed him, some photos were taken together with me.But on facebook screen, he cut it without me inside.He remark he didn't want people to know he's ...
A. 16 August 2011: Hi everyone. Just to update that he'd realised his mistakes & apologised. He display my photo there &change marital status:married and remove that female colleague photos.
When he text me to inform my photo already in Fb, I reply,"you're so thoug... (read in full...)
He's left me after 3 years... to go back with the ex!!!
Q. The love of my life has left me after 3 years and gone back to his ex and I'm completely devastated. He says its for the kids sakes and he's broken his own heart by leaving me, that I was also the love of his life, his soulmate and that he will nev...
A. 15 August 2011: Pull yourself together. Your kid still need you as a STRONG MOM to carry the life. For ur son sake,please do anything to get over what already happen. Move On! You can DO it!
(Be sure to delete/REJECT any emai regard that woman& him).Don... (read in full...)
He won't put pictures of us together on FB but will happily post pictures of a female colleague!
Q. Hi everyone. My hubby recently get hook with facebook, with his photos posted alone. when i handed him, some photos were taken together with me.But on facebook screen, he cut it without me inside.He remark he didn't want people to know he's ...
A. 9 August 2011: Hi everyone. Thanks alot for your valuable advises and opinions. I believe there's always a way to the problem.I'm working on it... frm CHEERS... (read in full...)
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