I kicked the cheater out, but miss what we once had.
Q. I kicked my boyfriend of 10 years out 6 months ago because I found out he’d been having an affair with someone from work. It wasn’t just an affair. He had been leading a double life for the 5 months that the affair went on for. Everyone in their wo...
A. 20 March 2020: There is a glaring error in your post. You don't miss what you HAD; you miss what you BELIEVED YOU HAD.
You believed you had a good relationship with a guy who was faithful to you. The truth was, as you found out later, he was always on the hunt... (read in full...)
Why has my ex suddenly blocked me on social media?
Q. Hi my question is why has My ex of 6 years ago suddenly blocked me on social media even though we were not even following each other what does this mean? ... We haven’t spoken since our breakup 6 years ago..I had seen his name pop up in my ...
A. 19 March 2020: You have not even spoken in 6 years. He is married to someone else. Why are you even still in any sort of "social" contact?
Move on and leave him to his new life. ... (read in full...)
Will this single dad ever be ready for a relationship?
Q. I have been seeing this guy on and off for almost a year. He has a young son (4 years old) and when we were first starting to see each other and things were getting serious, he got scared and said he couldn't handle anything new because his previous ...
A. 14 March 2020: Sweetheart, he is telling you loud and clear that he is not ready for a relationship. What the hell is he doing stringing you along? Are you happy with only seeing him once a week and being his phone buddy the rest of the time? If so, for how long? ... (read in full...)
I am crushing on my married doctor. I want to tell her my feelings
Q. I have a crush on female doctor (she is married lady) I don't know when I see her I really feel to talk to her more and more (she is already married I don't know what to do know). Can I reveal this to her directly?. Help me....
A. 13 March 2020: Seriously? Say you went ahead and told your doctor how you felt. What do you think would happen? I suspect she would be shocked and would insist you saw a different doctor. If she did anything else, should could lose her career and her livelihood. ... (read in full...)
I'm a married woman crushing on an old friend
Q. Hi I am married with a child but recently added an old online friend on social media and we have been chatting .. exchhnGed numbers and all..we flirt a lil but I decided that I won’t speak with this guy after we meet.. it’s been about 10years since ...
A. 13 March 2020: If your husband was asking this question, how would that make you feel? Would you be happy for him to meet up with this "friend"? Put yourself in his shoes.
Perhaps this is a wake-up call that you need to inject more fun into your relation... (read in full...)
I have a hard time believing anything my b/f says. Should I break up?
Q. Hi, I’m writing this in regards to my current relationship, the question is (Should I let him go?) My current boyfriend and I have been together for almost 8 months now. In the very beginning he did cheat on me, we had a fall out and he begged f...
A. 12 March 2020: Sadly I feel it is pointless anyone offering you advice as, judging by your second post, you have already made up your mind that you are going to stay with this guy because he is "sweet". Let's get this right: he is NOT "sweet". He occasionally does ... (read in full...)
His lack of respect and communication are getting to me!
Q. I'm at a loss as to what I can do so all advice appreciated. I've been living with my boyfriend on and off nine months, we was together for two years before we moved in. I work full time, self employed and I have no breaks in my day. I get home ...
A. 11 March 2020: It's not a question of whether you are being "unreasonable". What is "unreasonable" to one person is "perfect reasonable" to another. The question you should be asking is, "Do I want to carry on living like this?" Obviously the answer to this ... (read in full...)
He suddenly wants marriage and kids?
Q. The guy I have been dating told me at the beginning of our relationship that he did not want marriage or kids. I wasn't sure I wanted them either, so it seemed like we were on the same page. We didn't discuss the subject again until he recently ...
A. 11 March 2020: Absolutely he can change his mind.
Assuming he is of a vaguely similar age to you, he will have been in his previous relationship from a very early age. It is very common for such relationships to fall apart as people mature and grow apart. H... (read in full...)
I'm shy and don't know how to move forward with a friend
Q. Hi, I've become really close friends with a lovely guy over the past two and a half years (we're both gay). We get on so well and I've been able to open up to him about life stuff that I've never told anyone before. We've just been "friends" for all ...
A. 10 March 2020: Friendship is a fantastic foundation on which to build a long term relationship. It means you actually like the other person, as well as loving them.
Wishing you both all the very best. ... (read in full...)
My ex wants to meet. Do I meet him and rub my pregnancy in his face or just ignore him?
Q. My ex has been bugging to meet me for weeks now..I dumped him for many reasons. I am not interested in getting back to him...because I have moved on.. I am actually 7 months pregnant... While we have been apart for a year and a half.. He also moved ...
A. 9 March 2020: The best revenge is to have a happy life. You don't need to prove anything to your ex. The opposite of love is indifference. Sadly you don't yet feel indifferent to your ex, otherwise you would just ignore his messages. Why have you not deleted and ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to kiss a single mom on the 2nd date?
Q. I started dating a single mother recently. I am 21, unmarried and without she is 39 and has a 3 year old daughter. She is awfully sweet and nice and suggested a second date soon -- so a second date is on the cards very soon. So do you think it is ok...
A. 9 March 2020: Would you kiss someone who is not a "single mother" on a second date? Why would you treat this lady any differently? ... (read in full...)
Help me decide... Were her actions innocent or was she flirting with me?
Q. So, this is one of those 'what did this mean?' questions and I would appreciate your opinions. Went to a bar just chilling with a friend of mine (I've only known her for a few months) and I'd say we are very close but I'm not sure I think about her ...
A. 8 March 2020: She was sharing an umbrella with you. How else could she keep the umbrella over both of you without linking arms? I have done the same on numerous occasions with friends and even my married boss. It means "stay close so we can both stay dry", ... (read in full...)
How can I get my insecure and paranoid mistress to trust me after almost 10 years together?
Q. No harsh judgments. I am only looking for advice here. I am a married man having a relationship with another woman for close to 10 years. It's no longer an affair per se. We've grown to love each other yet I cannot leave my wife. I find ...
A. 8 March 2020: Perhaps your wife could give your mistress a character reference? After all, she is the one who will know you best.
... (read in full...)
How do I tell my daughter’s father I’m seeing someone new?
Q. I have been separated from my daughters father for just under a year, we are still good friends but I think there are still some underlying feelings on his part. Recently I've started seeing someone new, I live in a small town where everyone k...
A. 7 March 2020: You are obviously a caring and empathetic person as you understand this may be difficult for your ex, despite you no longer being together. As you obviously still care for him and would like to maintain a good relationship with him for the sake of ... (read in full...)
I feel hurt and used by my girlfriend and don't know where to go from here
Q. Hi everyone Thanks in advance for your opinions and advice. My gf and I have been together for around 3 years. She is in her last year at college and I have finished and have a full time job. We don't live together, I have worked hard all my life ...
A. 7 March 2020: For me, this is the most significant part of your post: "She wont listen to how I feel without sending me awful messages".
Your girlfriend only wants to be with you when you are of use to her, e.g. nursing her through illness or during the week... (read in full...)
Am I living with an abusive husband?
Q. Is this abuse ? I’ve been with my husband for 18 years (married for 15). He has some great qualities (doesn’t lie, cheat, is hardworking…), but he has major issues with his moods/temper/ADHD/depression/anxiety. Over the years he has seen a cou...
A. 7 March 2020: Will it actually help you in any way to label your husband's behaviour?
Is the important thing not that you feel uncomfortable and, in your own words, "After almost two decades of this, I’m tired and empty. I just don’t care anymore."
For wha... (read in full...)
How can I make up for the past?
Q. I'm in recovery from drugs (including alcohol but mostly crack) and while some of my wreckage is fixable (legal stuff, financial stuff), I don't know how to fix some of the truly unforgettable things I've done. (1) My youngest sister M.J. and ...
A. 7 March 2020: Oh sweetheart, I was reading your post and my heart was bleeding for you.
First of all, a big fat "well done" for managing to turn your life around. I can only imagine how much effort and strength it took to come from where you were to where yo... (read in full...)
I want my ex back but not if he's been with someone else
Q. I split with my bf of 3 years last autumn. We have both joined the same dating site and I can't seem to focus on dating as he's always on there. I've now deleted it as its causing me anxiety. I was thinking of getting back with him as love him but ...
A. 6 March 2020: My advice: take a complete break - from dating and especially from your ex. Cut all contact with him for a while (block him if you have to), take a deep breath and decide what you want from life.
To me it sounds like he had little luck on the d... (read in full...)
I'm shy and don't know how to move forward with a friend
Q. Hi, I've become really close friends with a lovely guy over the past two and a half years (we're both gay). We get on so well and I've been able to open up to him about life stuff that I've never told anyone before. We've just been "friends" for all ...
A. 6 March 2020: How about a conversation along the lines of "I have something to ask you but please understand that, if you don't feel the same way, it's absolutely ok and will not spoil our friendship"?
Then bite the bullet and say you have developed feelings... (read in full...)
Gay urges that won't stop
Q. I know that I love my girlfriend very much. But the older I get, the more I worry that I'm actually gay. So, I started off by watching gay porn, and being very aroused. Then being with my first man was I was 16. Ive always been harder during se...
A. 6 March 2020: Why stick a label on it? Maybe instead of basing your decision purely on a person's gender, you look for the PERSON who makes you feel fulfilled and who you cannot imagine not being in your life? Some studies state that nobody is 100% gay or hetero, ... (read in full...)
8 years of being a stay at home mom. I want to work hubby doesn't want me to. I think I want out
Q. Hi, I’m hoping I can get a little advice here, I’m feeling slightly .. lost? Here’s a little background I hope it doesn’t bore you. Me and my partner have been together now for nearly 9 years, we have 3 beautiful children together. When I firs...
A. 4 March 2020: Your post is rather contradictory (to me at least). On the one hand you state your partner is your best friend. On the other hand, you reveal how controlling he is and how he expects you to wait on him hand and foot and makes you unhappy. Best ... (read in full...)
Is it someone's fault if their partner is cheating on them? Is it like an excuse to break up? Why can't people just say that they no longer want a relationship instead of cheating?
Q. Hello, I've been in 4 relationships, and every time I get cheated on. And I'm getting so sick of it and I'm almost done with relationships. I would always give my all and give them second chances but they end up doing the same mistake. I feel that ...
A. 2 March 2020: Cheating is not a "mistake". Nobody accidentally cheats. Cheating is a CHOICE.
I think you need to look closely at the men you choose to date. If your last four relationships have ended due to the men cheating, the fault IS with you but not in t... (read in full...)
My boyfriend called me a bigot. What do I do about it?
Q. My boyfriend and I got into a fight. He was doing repair work yesterday on a ceiling in a building where his card club operates out of. There were two other men working with him. All of them volunteered their time. I got angry because he didn't call ...
A. 1 March 2020: P.S. I think your boyfriend was very restrained in only calling you a bigot. In his shoes I would have called you a lot worse and ended the relationship on the spot. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend called me a bigot. What do I do about it?
Q. My boyfriend and I got into a fight. He was doing repair work yesterday on a ceiling in a building where his card club operates out of. There were two other men working with him. All of them volunteered their time. I got angry because he didn't call ...
A. 1 March 2020: Is this post for real or from a troll? Surely nobody is THIS ignorant?... (read in full...)
I feel disrespected because we make plans and his son changes them
Q. Hello everyone I’m reaching out for help as I’m very frustrated. I’m 40 my boyfriend is 42 both divorced and has a kid, same age 12 years old. We have been in a relationship for a year and kids get along well and once in a while we plan for them to ...
A. 1 March 2020: Four words in your post made me want to hug your boyfriend's son and tell him everything will be ok. Those words were "the kid won’t leave"!!!!!! This is his SON for crying out loud, not come unwelcome visitor.
Do you not see what a sad picture ... (read in full...)
I lied to my girlfriend about why I don't drink alcohol.
Q. About ten years ago, I was a heavy drinker. One night, I got so drunk that I am surprised that I didn't die. I even threw up all over myself and the bed while I was sleeping. After that night, I quit drinking completely. When my girlfriend and I...
A. 28 February 2020: I suppose technically it IS a medical reason. You can't drink because you lose control and put your life at risk.
To answer your question, I think you SHOULD tell her the truth and the sooner the better. Apologize for lying and tell her you don'... (read in full...)
My sister is never there for me. Our relationship is so unbalanced
Q. I've been really depressed recently. I've had bad anxiety for years and it's really starting to get me down. I used to have times when it would come and go but now it's a constant. I've made a lot of changes like eating hwalthy, not drinking, ...
A. 28 February 2020: Sadly family members are not ALWAYS there for us. Many - like your sister - seem capable only of ACCEPTING support, not OFFERING any. It may be because she is selfish. It may be because she is very weak. It may be because she just lacks any empathy. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has had more sexual partners than I am comfortable with. How can I find a way to accept this?
Q. I'm struggling with the number of sex partners my boyfriend has had before meeting me. I've only been with one other man besides him and that was my ex husband. My bf has had sex with way more people than I have. But he says his morals and values ...
A. 26 February 2020: If it was a one night stand type of encounter, or something else equally casual, then I completely understand his reasoning. I have never been in a relationship where I have been quizzed on my past sexual partners but, if I had, there are a couple I ... (read in full...)
Was it a good idea to make a fake account and test my lying boyfriend?
Q. Hello agony aunts, I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years. It's been a very rough relationship because we were always on and off because of his controlling behaviour. He lied to me about his age, his family and about him not talking to ...
A. 20 February 2020: Why is this about ALL men? This is about one no-good lying piece of crap you call(ed) a boyfriend. You already KNEW he could not be trusted yet you set him a "test" in the hope he would what? Prove himself to be a decent human being? You can't make ... (read in full...)
Should I trick my husband to let me watch him and a friend?
Q. Hi all. This might seem an unusual problem for some. I've always known my husband is quite flexible when it comes to sexuality. In college he told me he had a friend that he experimented with on numerous occasions and it never bothered me. Inf...
A. 19 February 2020: In your fantasy you have complete control over what happens between your husband and his friend. In reality it would be very different. If they got really "into" each other, you could end up feeling very insecure in your relationship.
Leave... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm treading on eggshells at work and don't know where to go from here
Q. I started a new job nine months ago. I come from a very different background (many aspects) from my employers. I’m female and relatively young (mid 30s) versus my employers (group of men aged mid 50s-60s). They hired me for my experience which...
A. 19 February 2020: Why would you object to them referring to you as "young"? It is hardly an insult and you ARE young compared to THEM. One of our colleagues is referred to as "Young'un" in the office as he was 16 when he started working with us. He is now 22 and is ... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend got angry about pics on social media.
Q. I split up with my boyfriend about a month ago, we've not been in contact much since then, but he's gotten angry with me about a photo he found on Instagram. The photo in question is me with a Snapchat filter, the one with the bear ears and no...
A. 18 February 2020: Sweetheart, at the end of the day you could ask 100 people and get 100 different opinions and guess what? NONE of them would actually matter!
What matters is whether YOU are comfortable with the picture being "out there", which you obviousl... (read in full...)
Am I too messed up and damaged to ever have a happy relationship?
Q. I am 26 and have lived in a toxic, emotionally abusive household my whole life. I come from a culture where you're guilted into never moving out until marriage. (I'm saving up to move out as soon as I can though). Also, if I ever go no contact with ...
A. 17 February 2020: You are absolutely NOT too badly damaged to heal and live the life YOU want. However, this may come at a price: you may have to learn to ignore/tolerate your parents' - and your community's - disapproval of your choices. You are going to have to ... (read in full...)
This girl is bad for me, what should I do?
Q. A long time ago in college there was a girl who was very close to me, very touchy feely and all that. I fancied her, had a really huge crush. Though I didn't know it, she had friend zoned me. One day she said she was moving to the west coast and ...
A. 16 February 2020: WHY don't you want to seem rude? SHE was quite rude to you all those years ago. You owe her NOTHING.
DELETE and BLOCK. She obviously wants to yank your chain for an ego boost. She's probably between relationships, or in a relationship which is... (read in full...)
I've just discovered I am the OTHER WOMAN!
Q. I've been in a sexual relationship with a man for over almost 4 years now. I do not have feelings for him, but had always wondered why he was so distant and indifferent towards me throughout the 4 years. Long story short I just found out throug...
A. 16 February 2020: The fact that you were happy enough when you thought you were one of his many sexual partners but are not happy now you know he has a "proper" girlfriend tells me you were not in this ersatz relationship for any other reason than loneliness and that ... (read in full...)
I need answers and support.
Q. My last post here I got super judged on here and went into a depression. More then I already am. So please be kind. I m a 30 year old single mom of an amazing 4 year old. My child’s father and I were together (we never’ married) for 5 years and ...
A. 14 February 2020: It's hard to advise someone who sees everything as criticism. You are obviously a very sensitive person if you think you were "super judged" on your last post. From what I can see, you were given sensible down-to-earth advice. Some may have been ... (read in full...)
Attracted to my and wife's mutual friend
Q. Need help. I became somewhat close friends with a woman a few years back because our kids were in same class. For the first year or two, we just exchanged occasional text about school ect and , although my wife wasn't as close, my wife knew we were ...
A. 13 February 2020: "my wife is great and I adore my family"
Perhaps you should remind yourself of this every time you are engaging in texting with this other woman, taking energy away from your marriage? Then, if THAT doesn't stop you, imagine what your life wou... (read in full...)
Attracted to my and wife's mutual friend
Q. Need help. I became somewhat close friends with a woman a few years back because our kids were in same class. For the first year or two, we just exchanged occasional text about school ect and , although my wife wasn't as close, my wife knew we were ...
A. 12 February 2020: YOU'RE confused? I'M confused. I didn't read anything in your post which made me suspect this woman wants to be more than friends. She befriended your wife, for crying out loud. Does THAT alone not tell you she has no interest in you "in that way"? ... (read in full...)
How do I get over the lazy, lying man I dumped?
Q. I have failed to get over my ex.. We dated for 2 years.. We were amazing together... The challenge was always two things.. He was a liar and not financially dependable.. I am a working woman of 34 years with a daughter.. I can support myself.....
A. 10 February 2020: Yes, he probably seems very "happy" on social media, because people only post the happy bits of their relationship, not the bits where they are fighting about being lazy and a liar and sponging off some gullible person. I am sure his new girlfriend ... (read in full...)
I feel guilty for wanting out of this toxic relationship.
Q. Why do I feel so guilty about wanting out of this toxic relationship? It's killing me inside, almost daily to think that it's finally coming to an end. Backstory 7 years, 4 kids. My daughter from a previous relationship (8) his 2 from a previous ...
A. 10 February 2020: Oh sweetheart, you already KNOW what you have to do, painful as it is. In your head you have already moved on (worked out where you can afford, etc). It's just your heart which is still keeping you there because of your love for your children.
... (read in full...)
Happy marriage but I have no sexual interest and now husband wants viagara
Q. Hi Everyone. I am in a happy settled relationship with a lovely easy going hubby. We've been together for 20 years. (A record breaker for me) I'm 65 years old and he's 62. We get along well and both share a similar sense of humour. We love our ...
A. 9 February 2020: I read your post with a deep sense of sadness - for both you AND your husband.
Interesting that you start your post with the declaration that you are in a "happy" relationship. Who is happy in it? Neither you NOR your husband, by the sound of... (read in full...)
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