I don't have friends and I don't feel like I fit in anywhere
Q. I didn't know where to go to ask this question. I go onto many forum sites but no one answers correctly, I needed some advice and wisdom from the lovely users on here who have consistently helped me with my relationship problems xox I'm not sure i...
A. 11 July 2020: I am sorry you are feeling like this.
The phrase which jumped out at me from your post was "I go onto many forum sites but no one answers correctly". This sounds like you are looking for a specific answer, like you have already decided what the... (read in full...)
Why does it take so long for my answers to appear
Q. Why do my replies not appear for days sometimes? Does this site monitor everyone's replies? I read a post, write a reply then watch as loads of others pop up before mine eventually appears days later when everyone has moved on. Feeling despondent. ...
A. 10 July 2020: Thank you for pointing me in the right direction, WiseOwlE. That's very helpful. ... (read in full...)
The man I am dating told me he still loves his ex
Q. Hi I’ve just started a new relationship I really like him I split with my partner a year ago he split with his 4 months ago we were in bed last night and he told me he still loves his ex so obviously now I am confused as to what to do I know I ...
A. 10 July 2020: What is there to be confused about? He loves his ex. He is not in a position to have a real relationship with anyone else yet. Walk away before you get hurt.
When someone tells you something as straight forward as this, you need to listen, ... (read in full...)
My mom is acting like an out of control teenager
Q. My Mum is 46 years old but I feel like she’s gone off the rails ever since she divorced my Dad. The way she’s been behaving lately I almost feel embarrassed to call her my Mum. She was with my Dad for 31 years since she was 15 and had four daughte...
A. 10 July 2020: Wow. Just wow. I was reading your post and shaking my head in sadness and horror. I am so sorry your family - and your mum - are going through this. I add your mum to that because it sounds like she is truly off the rails and doesn't know what she ... (read in full...)
My fiance is very secretive and it makes me wonder if I am making a mistake
Q. Hello, and thanks! So I'm engaged but not sure if I'm making the right decision. My fiancee is very secretive. I find things out mostly by social media because I'm friends with his friends and they post and it comes up on my newsfeed. Th...
A. 10 July 2020: My advice? Send this man child back to his mummy and find yourself an adult with whom to have a relationship. If you have to rely on checking his social media/talking to his friends to find out what he is doing, this does not bode well.
If he... (read in full...)
I have issues I need to discuss with my boyfriend, please help me clarify them.
Q. I've been known my "boyfriend" (we're not official, at least he hasn't communicated that to me, but we act as if we are) since December of last year and finally met in person for the first time this June since COVID-19 sent me back home as I go to ...
A. 8 July 2020: Sweetheart, have you ever heard the saying "actions speak louder than words"? Calling you "babe" is easy. Backing up his words with actions is what counts and he has not made any attempt to do that. I assume you are having sex? Please please make ... (read in full...)
Is this the golden rule for dating?
Q. I’ve always heard that one of the golden rules of first dates is to never talk about exes. But often on first dates (or during online dating app pre-date talking), I'm asked about past relationships like how long did it last? why did it end? etc. ...
A. 8 July 2020: Funny how we all have different "rules". One of my own pet hates is, when you meet/talk to someone socially for the first time, they ask you what you do for a living, yet you would be surprised how many people open with that. I am not my job. I ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was aggressive to my son over football
Q. Hi. Today there was an incident with my son and Bf in front of my family whom we are down to viait for a few days. My Bf is an avid football supporter and my family support the rival team but they are not really into football they just have a few ...
A. 6 July 2020: I think you are right to worry. This sort of happening would have me re-evaluating the whole relationship.
What is going to happen the next time your teenage son does something your boyfriend does not agree with? Is it going to eventual... (read in full...)
I had a quick fumble with husband's friend, he wants to carry it on, I want it to stop!
Q. Hi everyone, I have done a really terrible thing and I just need some help or advice on where to go and how to deal with my emotions. I have been married for nearly 3 years now and my marriage hasn't always been the most easiest. Around 6 months ago ...
A. 6 July 2020: You made a drunken mistake. You will not be the first, nor the last. Luckily it didn't go too far. Vow to never drink so much again that your inhibitions are lowered sufficiently to do something like that again. Then forgive yourself and concentrate ... (read in full...)
We are broken up but I still love him. Should I delete his number?
Q. I have split with my boyfriend and I still love him. He says he wants me to stop contacting him. But I think he's just angry at me and deep down he loves me. Should I delete his number as I won't be able to contact him ever again if I do...
A. 5 July 2020: When you meet the right person, you will understand why it didn't work out with your ex.
Don't you want better for yourself than to be in a relationship where you disagree on so many fundamental issues? Don't make the common mistake of assuming... (read in full...)
I don't understand online friend's behaviour
Q. Firstly, I'm not looking to get criticized, I am aware that this is online but I am merely looking to learn about this type of behaviour so I can avoid it and pick up on it in the near future. Three months ago I picked up online gaming again and...
A. 5 July 2020: How to avoid this sort of drama in the future? Easy: don't invest emotionally in someone you don't know.
You know nothing about this guy except what he wants you to know. You have not even met in person, let alone met his family and friends.... (read in full...)
Am I a bad friend for wanting to distance myself?
Q. My former best friend and I developed strange relationships with food around the same time. We’re still fairly close and text talk frequently, but we trigger each other whenever we see each other in person. She’s hospitalized at the moment, and has ...
A. 4 July 2020: You say it yourself: your relationship was unhealthy even before the ED was diagnosed. The fact that you refer to her as your "former best friend" and only really communicate via text, would indicate you have already started to distance yourself ... (read in full...)
We are broken up but I still love him. Should I delete his number?
Q. I have split with my boyfriend and I still love him. He says he wants me to stop contacting him. But I think he's just angry at me and deep down he loves me. Should I delete his number as I won't be able to contact him ever again if I do...
A. 4 July 2020: If someone tells you to stop contacting them, you need to respect their wishes. "He doesn't mean it" is no excuse. You do not have a right to assume what he means or what he doesn't. You are in danger of becoming a pest (if you have not already done ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of seven months has anger issues.
Q. Hi all, hoping for some advice: I’m divorced, in my 40s, and have recently moved country. Shortly after moving, I met my now boyfriend (of 7 months) For some time now, I have not been able to make sense of my his anger issues. He is highly-edu...
A. 3 July 2020: You CAN do better, and you know it. You are WORTH better. Don't settle for an abusive idiot who thinks he is God's gift to womankind.
Run and don't look back. ... (read in full...)
How do I handle this? A co-worker likes me but I am dating his friend
Q. Dear aunts and uncle, Last October I got promoted to a senior IT tech at my company and with the promotion i was assigned to a whole new team. Within a week of me being there one of my new coworkers ,lets call him Michael, started flirting with me ...
A. 2 July 2020: I think "Michael" has dodged a bullet if you can't wait a couple of weeks for him before jumping into bed with another guy. You should tell him as soon as possible so he can figure out for himself you are not worth the effort or the wait.
If yo... (read in full...)
I'm 17 a virgin, he's 43 married and wants to have sex with me
Q. Hi, Im 17 and Ive recently come into contact with a 43 year old man who wants to have sex with me. He's married and Im a virgin. I want to have sex with him but Im worried it's illegal and I'm worried about what people might say if I tell them I l...
A. 2 July 2020: Perhaps you should go and ask his wife how she feels about this. Trust me, if you go ahead with this, you are going to regret "giving it away" for the rest of your life because, as soon as he has sex with you, he will lose interest and it will hurt ... (read in full...)
Why would my sister ignore my emails but put on quite the show when my brother is privy to the email?
Q. Thank you in advance to all who take the time to answer here. I have one brother and one sister. I am in the middle in age. I find that if I send an email to my sister giving all my news and asking about her news lately she has been ignor...
A. 28 June 2020: As you have already worked out what happens, why not email them separately? Or even stop emailing her? If she ignores your emails, what is the point of sending more?
We can't choose our families but we can choose how we deal with them and how ... (read in full...)
I have discovered my husband of 25 years is cross dressing and messaging other men online
Q. I have discovered my husband of 25 years is cross dressing and messaging other men online. His work has been extremely demanding and stressful for some months so I put his change in behaviour down to this...(he has been .distracted, very stressed...
A. 28 June 2020: First of all, and most importantly, don't panic. Stay calm. While this is a big shock to you, it is not necessarily the end of your marriage.
Despite your shock and understandable horror at what you have discovered, it does not sound like you... (read in full...)
S this lockdown angst or anxiety or have I just hit the eject button?
Q. I am going a bit crazy! It's as if the normal and rational part of me has just left the premises.. Is this lockdown angst or anxiety or have I just hit the eject button? Kiddies happy and silly laughter normally makes me smile but today it's drivi...
A. 27 June 2020: Sending lots of hugs. These unprecedented times are hard for many people.
While this is not the first pandemic we have had, it is the first time such draconian controls have been put in place in an effort to bring it under control and it is very ... (read in full...)
Should I let go of all of this relationship mess?
Q. Hi everyone, the issue that I am having is that my bf has not told any of his dead ex wife ( she died last year in july) friends or people that he knows in common with her that I exist and that I am his girlfriend , yesterday I told him about it, ...
A. 27 June 2020: Your boyfriend is obviously someone who keeps people in his life in separate boxes. Why he would do this only he knows and everyone else can only surmise.
There are two side to this: (1) why is he keeping you a secret from some people in his l... (read in full...)
I'd like to know if something is going on between my husband and his male friend, or am I just plain crazy?
Q. Hi everyone. I've got an issue at hand I could use some advice on. I don't know if I'm just crazy or what? I've been married for 8 years and although I love and trust my husband I have recently become weary of his friendship with his former lawyer. ...
A. 25 June 2020: Are you possibly a bit jealous of this friend? Do you feel he is spending more quality time with your husband than you are? Are you perhaps tied up with caring for your children while your husband is off enjoying himself with his friend? Is there a ... (read in full...)
We had some good dates and now he messaged me and said he's not ready for a relationship
Q. I went on a few dates with a guy and they seemed to go really well. He’s very shy and has had a difficult life from the snippets he’s told me. He’s experienced a lot of loss and due to a rift between his parents, he doesn’t see much of either of ...
A. 24 June 2020: Given the suddenness of the change of mind, my guess would be he has suddenly hit a "wall" and, despite his best efforts and intentions, feels out of his depth.
In your shoes, I would first ask myself if I am prepared to put myself at risk of ... (read in full...)
Is a year too long to make my LDR boyfriend wait?
Q. Hello I'm a single woman of many years I'm just finally starting to get back in the romantic spot light .So I met this guy on the Internet very respectful all I ever dreamed of he sends me money we talk for hours on the phone.He even told his ...
A. 24 June 2020: I have to wonder, are you deliberately putting off meeting him so that he will keep sending you money? Are you afraid, once he has met you in person, he will stop sending it? Why did he start sending you money?
I can totally understand your nee... (read in full...)
I want to meet some new friends but I'm nervous and anxious about doing so
Q. i have been talking to two people but not in a romantic way , I have never really interested in potential romances and im glad im not . ive never spoken to them in person , I just know them both from school . Ive never had the confidence to me...
A. 20 June 2020: First of all, a great big "well done" for trying to do something outside your comfort zone. Take it steady though, one baby step at a time, otherwise you will feel overwhelmed.
If these are people you know from school, once this Covid stuff is... (read in full...)
I want to start living as a woman. How do I tell my wife?
Q. My wife started dressing me as a woman when we first started dating, we have since married and my dressing up as Joanne continues. About a year and a half ago, my wife brought up wanting to see me with a man while I am dressed as Joanne, I ...
A. 20 June 2020: Not so long ago, this was your post:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-like-dressing-up-and-acting-as-a.html
Within a matter of weeks you have allegedly gone from not really wanting to go with a man to going with lots of men, to telling your... (read in full...)
We fought my husband has not forgiven me and is now talking about separating
Q. Hi! I really need your help to get out of this mess. My husband and I have been married for 5 years. Both of us are in medical profession. Two days ago we had a huge row regarding a business he recently started with one of his friends. We ended up ...
A. 20 June 2020: Saying sorry is all well and good but it doesn't undo what was said, especially if it hurt someone. People will never forget how you made them feel.
Some couples can fight and get over it while other can't. It sounds like whatever you said ups... (read in full...)
I need to give her up but I don't want to
Q. My heart hurts. A few years ago I came out of a very difficult relationship with an addict disillusioned with the idea of relationships in general. I pulled myself together to the point where I was enjoying life to the fullest, but had no faith...
A. 20 June 2020: If ever there was a story which served to prove the point that, if you don't heal what hurt you, you will bleed on people who didn't cut you, it's this one. Your "friend" hung in there for long enough but you were unwilling and/or unable to give her ... (read in full...)
Snapchat causing issues
Q. I have been seeing my boyfriend for around 10 months. We’ve known each other off and on since we were kids and we’re surprised when we both realised we’d liked each other for so long. Unfortunately when we met he had a girlfriend and I don’t ne...
A. 18 June 2020: P.S. Deleting the offending app is a grand gesture but means nothing. He can easily reinstate it. Or use different apps for the same purpose. Or even get a secret mobile so that his "legit" mobile has no evidence of anything untoward on it. Don't be ... (read in full...)
Snapchat causing issues
Q. I have been seeing my boyfriend for around 10 months. We’ve known each other off and on since we were kids and we’re surprised when we both realised we’d liked each other for so long. Unfortunately when we met he had a girlfriend and I don’t ne...
A. 18 June 2020: Interesting that you class yourself as an insecure person yet got your boyfriend by cheating. Talk about setting yourself up for heartache. Could you not have waited for him to finish with his girlfriend before jumping into bed with him? Did you put ... (read in full...)
I want to move on from a relationship that left me broken.
Q. This relationship has left me broken and I really don't know how to move forward. I was with him on and off for the past year and it was the best time of my life. We have so much in common, got along beautifully and never fought. He has a young son ...
A. 18 June 2020: Every family and relationship is "perfect"on social media. They are not going to tell you about the bad stuff.
Ex partners are usually ex partners for good reason. Things didn't work out and, unless something has drastically change, the relation... (read in full...)
I found a lipgloss in my boyfriends car now what ?!
Q. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years now we have a baby together he’s 2 we also live together . So I would say this relationship is serious right?! Wrong !! So about two months ago I snoop though his phone and went through his Facebook I found a ...
A. 17 June 2020: Wow! This took me back to when I was dating a serial cheater. He borrowed my car and, when I got it back, I noticed the passenger seat had been completely adjusted from where it had been. When I asked him about it, he actually started crying and ... (read in full...)
I want to move on from a relationship that left me broken.
Q. This relationship has left me broken and I really don't know how to move forward. I was with him on and off for the past year and it was the best time of my life. We have so much in common, got along beautifully and never fought. He has a young son ...
A. 17 June 2020: It's irrelevant whether he cheated on you or not. What is relevant is that he has chosen to return to the mother of his child. Even if they break up again, they will always have contact because they will always be the child's parents. You now know ... (read in full...)
So worried about the safety of my friends baby
Q. Hi there. Such a great site with wide answers. I am in a quandary here. I have a friend in her mid thirties who is a new mom. She is an alcoholic and before she decided to get pregnant after consulting with her boyfriend I begged her to get her d...
A. 12 June 2020: If you believe your friend's daughter is in danger - which sounds like a distinct possibility based on what you write - then you have an obligation to try to ensure her safety and involve whoever needs to be involved.
Even if your friend does not... (read in full...)
My friend is icing me out for a stupid reason...
Q. My friends and I went out for drinks a week ago to celebrate our graduation. My school gives out informal academic awards for the best student of each subject along with our respite cards, and of my friends began complaining , unprompted, about how ...
A. 12 June 2020: I am a lot older than you and learned a valuable lesson a long time ago: we can do anything we like in life but everything comes with a price, so be sure you are willing to pay that price BEFORE you choose to do something.
You acknowle... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant, havent told hubby nor my sister in law
Q. I recently found out that I’m about 7 weeks pregnant. I haven’t told my husband because I don’t know how he would react. He Lost his job because of this pandemic. My sister in law has also been trying for a baby for many years and I don’t know how ...
A. 12 June 2020: How long do you think you can keep it from your husband? Are you afraid of his reaction? Is he prone to being violent? If not, then tell him as soon as possible. This child has two parents with equal rights to know about it. The sooner he knows, the ... (read in full...)
Even though I am lonely I don't want to be in a relationship.
Q. Hi all. Recently at my college I became interested in a girl in my class, and she became interested in me. We got to know each other, and eventually we started dating. The relationship seemed as if it was going smoothly, however it only lasted a...
A. 10 June 2020: Let me tell you something based on experience (as I am way older than you): you cannot be a failure until you give up trying. Dating is all about "trying before buying". NONE of the relationships work out until you find the one which does, and then ... (read in full...)
Should I break up with my older girlfriend?
Q. Hey everyone, I guess I am considering breaking up with my girlfriend of 2.5 years. For the past 6 months I feel we have been drifting apart romantically. Sex went from once every 2 weeks to once every 2 months. I stopped sleeping in the same b...
A. 9 June 2020: If you part amicably and on friendly terms, could you still help her with her business when she needed it? It does not sound from your post like you have any other job so this would help you both.
As for your options being limited, do you not ... (read in full...)
How does agreeing to coffee or a walk suddenly change direction like this?
Q. A good friend passed away last year. It was very unexpected. Her husband [widower, I think you call him] contacted me yesterday afternoon and asked if I would like to go out sometime. I was pleasantly surprised and told him I would. Now today...
A. 9 June 2020: Not knowing the man and based solely on your post, I suspect he wants sex but rather than put in the effort to court you and build up a relationship to see if it ultimately leads to what he wants, he said what he said to test the waters, to see if ... (read in full...)
I'm nervous about becoming a single mother to my twins.
Q. Hi I have just broken up with my partner of 7 years things hadn’t been right with us for months before I ended it we have Twins together were still living together for the time being due to being on lockdown I am going to look for somewhere for me ...
A. 9 June 2020: Firstly your partner has a financial obligation to support his children. Hopefully, despite your differences, he is also a decent human being and will continue to play a major part in his children's lives. This is a time when you both need to put ... (read in full...)
Should I break up with my older girlfriend?
Q. Hey everyone, I guess I am considering breaking up with my girlfriend of 2.5 years. For the past 6 months I feel we have been drifting apart romantically. Sex went from once every 2 weeks to once every 2 months. I stopped sleeping in the same b...
A. 8 June 2020: She deserves better. You know your heart is not in this relationship. You sound like you are only staying because it's free/cheap lodgings. You have already distanced yourself from her physically and emotionally.
Start looking for a place of... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lives with his ex and I'm not comfortable with it
Q. Hello, I met my bf on a dating site and he is a pretty good guy. A few things I find a bit concerning though. He lives with his ex. Him and I live in different provinces so we dont see one another much. My bf and his ex are raising a child ...
A. 8 June 2020: For me the fact that he tries to manipulate and control you would be a serious red flag. I mean, who has time to chat and phone all day, unless they are at home and doing nothing else? Does he not have a job? I suspect this is his way of checking ... (read in full...)
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