My boyfriend lives with his ex and I'm not comfortable with it
Q. Hello, I met my bf on a dating site and he is a pretty good guy. A few things I find a bit concerning though. He lives with his ex. Him and I live in different provinces so we dont see one another much. My bf and his ex are raising a child ...
A. 8 June 2020: For me the fact that he tries to manipulate and control you would be a serious red flag. I mean, who has time to chat and phone all day, unless they are at home and doing nothing else? Does he not have a job? I suspect this is his way of checking ... (read in full...)
My relationship needs a fix or it is doomed.
Q. Hi I was just looking for peoples opinions on this my partner smokes weed and spends a lot of money on it we have 1 child together when we first met he only had 1 joint on a night to help him sleep we’ve been together now for 9 years we are ...
A. 6 June 2020: I think you have already asked this question:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-feel-trapped-in-this-relationship.html
... (read in full...)
Why is this married coworker trying to come in between 2 single coworkers?
Q. So there is this colleague at work who used to be quite friendly. We both hail from the same city and had a good rapport with one another. We are both single. And we have been quite attracted to one another. I have been plannin to ask him out. But a ...
A. 3 June 2020: I do wonder if this post is for real or whether this is a troll having a laugh. I mean, can anyone seriously have such a sense of entitlement as this? If she was a teenager, then you could put it down to immaturity and hope she would grow out of it, ... (read in full...)
I'm confused by what this man said.
Q. I recently started talking to someone in a friendly way , he lives in another city to me and asked me, if I am I going to keep him up an night if he stays at mine as I said id like to spend the night with him, im just wondering if he will have ...
A. 1 June 2020: I wonder why you didn't tell him you would like to spend some time getting to know him, or you would like to spend a DAY out with him, rather than telling him you would like to spend a night with him? I think the majority of guys would take this to ... (read in full...)
Being in lockdown has forced me to see how unhealthy our relationship is.
Q. Hi all! I would appreciate some advice on how to handle an issue with my husband or rather a problem hes has that is seriously influencing my life. In a nutshell, he has some problems with relationships with people (I understand WHY). R...
A. 31 May 2020: While it is not unusual, as we get older, to be more selective about people with whom we choose to socialize, it appears your husband has taken this to the extreme. He seems to be fighting some sort of inner demons which cause him to take everything ... (read in full...)
My wife says my vest is embarrassing.
Q. There's a TV show about a motorcycle club called Sons of anarchy. I bought a vest like the ones worn on the show by the actors. I have a motorcycle and I'm such a fan of that TV show. My wife says it would be embarrassing to wear it as people w...
A. 31 May 2020: Is your wife normally controlling? Does she normally try to get you to bend to her will by mocking your decisions if they do not reflect what she wants? If so, then this is part of a bigger problem. If not, then perhaps the answer is to keep the ... (read in full...)
Is this guy trying to make me pregnant?
Q. Hi everyone This is my first time posting on this, and my friend told me its very helpfull, im not sure how much details to go into but this has really confused me and have asked a few people but not really had a answer lol, So a guy im seeing af...
A. 31 May 2020: PLEASE tell me you are using reliable contraception. You can't just go around having babies with a guy you are "seeing". If you don't know him well enough to ask him what he is doing and why, you absolutely do not know him well enough to start ... (read in full...)
I need tips for dealing with the mother of my ex!
Q. My ex boyfriend of 3.5 years broke up with me almost two months ago, and his mom keeps contacting me. Why would she do it? I always had the feeling she didn't like me during the first years we were together as we have very different views ...
A. 29 May 2020: There's one of two things going on here I suspect: either she is sincere and hoping you and her son will get back together, or your original suspicions were right, she doesn't really like you and this is her way of rubbing your nose in her son's ... (read in full...)
What can I do about my life and wife?
Q. Over 43 yrs of faithful marriage she requires separate bedrooms handles all financial transactions accumulate over 100,000 dollars in credit card debts that I know of and no sex for 3 years now .... what to do No names please ...
A. 29 May 2020: What do you WANT to do? You've been married for 43 years. Also sounds like you have let her do whatever she pleases much of that time. What has brought things to a head now? Why are you suddenly questioning what to do? Not even sure whether the ... (read in full...)
The more I try to better myself the nastier my friend becomes.
Q. Thanks in advance for answers to my guestion. This is a great site. I have been friends with this paticular friend for about ten years. I cannot say that this is the only friendship I have been evaluating lately. I have a great job and have started ...
A. 27 May 2020: I'm of a similar age to you and, in the last decade or so, I have come to expect a lot more from friends than I did when I was younger. I now work on the premise that, for someone to qualify as my friend, they need to ADD to my life and make it ... (read in full...)
I'm mourning a friendship that may have dissolved.
Q. I used to have very regular contact with a female friend whom I will name as "A" who attended the same church as me and we coordinated a youth ministry together with other team members. I was close to A and so were the other team members and ...
A. 26 May 2020: So have you fallen out with this girl because she left your church? Are you not able to still be friends with her? You sound like that it what you would like. Or was the church the only thing binding you together?
You need to ask yourself... (read in full...)
Is she smitten with me?
Q. I am confused and more unsure than I have ever been. I have always been a good guy who is confident and I always know what to do. But with this lovely woman I am unsure. We work together, and she is in a relationship she is dissatisfied wit...
A. 25 May 2020: She may not be cheating physically but is definitely cheating emotionally on her partner. If she was YOUR girlfriend and was acting in this way with a "colleague", how would that make you feel? I bet you wouldn't feel "respected". Does her partner ... (read in full...)
How can I do what's right for me knowing my parents won't approve
Q. i recently started a job in a care home on a rolling contract so it may come to an end in a few weeks, although It will most likely be extended . im sadly not enjoying it all and it is way more tiring then I thought and the hours I really long an...
A. 25 May 2020: Part of being an adult involves making your own decisions and facing the disapproval of others, including family. If you can think things through and calmly, logically but firmly explain your decision, and the reasons behind it, to your parents, ... (read in full...)
Blocked, I'm angry at how all the blame is on me, should I send a letter and a gift?
Q. I was seeing a girl and she has a boyfriend, who she got just a few weeks after we met. Turns out she wanted to see both of us. But recently finally, the boyfriend found out her secret. She was out with me, and he got security to bget into her room ...
A. 25 May 2020: Are you really in your late 30s or is the profile age a mistake? This sounds more like a post from a teenager.
That aside, to answer your post, she blamed you because she could not blame the person who was really at fault here, and that was - of... (read in full...)
Does this man like me or need space?
Q. This boy told me he likes me n he started holding me n kissing me. He stays the night n hold me. In morning he left early n didn't hear from him in a couple days. He came up to me n I said u didn't say nothing just left. He said I need to get on my ...
A. 23 May 2020: Are you really in your late 30s/40? I ask because I wonder who would call someone of that age "baby girl". I suspect you are actually much younger and this older bloke got cold feet and decided to back off before he got into trouble.
If someone ... (read in full...)
I feel trapped in this relationship.
Q. Hi I’ve been in a long term relationship for 8 years we have a coming up 6 year old son my partner 3 years ago suddenly started smoking weed he was good looking and smart when we met the relationship was great we both were working we went on ...
A. 23 May 2020: So start the moving out process again. You already know you made a mistake backing off the first time. Don't make the same mistake again.
I am assuming the property is yours. If so, you need to make it very clear he has to go and keep remindin... (read in full...)
My married boyfriend is moving to Panama for 6 months and is leaving me behind. He wants me to wait for him. Should I?
Q. I know I won't get any sympathy here but I am looking for some advice. Mistresses have nowhere to go. My married lover (he is more like a boyfriend now) is going to Panama with his wife in September to spend 6 months out of the year there, ever...
A. 23 May 2020: Well, you already knew you would not get sympathy on this site for being with a married man and I too am going to be brutal here. I feel I have a right to be brutal because I have been there, got the t-shirt, etc. I too was once stupid enough to ... (read in full...)
Why did he ghost me after acting so insecure ?
Q. For the past 4 weeks I have been going on dates with a guy I met in a grocery store in March. At first i was a little skeptical because he’s a tad bit older but not by much. On our first date we met up at Dairy Queen. We talked for three hours , ...
A. 22 May 2020: Same question as last time?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-does-the-guy-im-seeing-ask-me.html
... (read in full...)
My feelings have grown since blowing off a girl I met in college.
Q. I always had intense trust issues that lead me to stay away from relationships. In fact I've never been in a relationship till now, perhaps because of that. This also lead me to not make many friends and for some reason I maintained distance from ...
A. 20 May 2020: You have a lot to learn about love, my friend. First and foremost, it is not based on physical attraction alone. Some of the most attractive men I have met have held absolutely zero appeal for me because I did not feel that connection, that spark, ... (read in full...)
I worry I am just this woman's plaything.
Q. Been seeing someone for about four months for only one day a week, she don't have any more time for me, it's really good that one day a week, I told her I looked her up on Facebook, she got really mad an said not to do that again and block me, am I ...
A. 20 May 2020: Whatever her issues, you two are quite obviously not on the same page when it comes to your relationship. You are looking for something a lot more serious than she is. She just wants a friends-with-benefits type of arrangement once a week with no ... (read in full...)
He criticizes my driving and it’s wrecking my confidence and ability!
Q. Heeeellpppp, i am a long time driving vihicles already. Im driving bycicles, real motorbike sometimes with 1 or 2 behind me as passenger plus my baby dog infront basket ( please dont get mad" that is normal in asia, when your small baby dog is train ...
A. 20 May 2020: The age old battle, lol. I usually drive when we go out because I am happy just to limit my drinking to stay well below the limit whereas OH likes to have enough to take him over the limit. That does not, however, stop him saying things like "Go, ... (read in full...)
A close friend has fallen in love, and it leaves me bored!
Q. One of my closest and dearest friends has in the last year entered into a relationship. The guy, he's got with is absolutely perfect for him. And I see them being together for a good long time. His whole life now revolves around his relationship. ...
A. 20 May 2020: It sucks when close friends are suddenly no longer as "available" to us as they were, whatever the reason. However, your friend is moving on with his life and is happy. You need to be happy for him but also to extend your social circle so that you ... (read in full...)
I don't consider myself to be gay but what was the homosexual experience with my cousin all about?
Q. This thing happened to me when I was 13 years old. I used to meet my cousins on vacations when we had a large family get-together. I had this particular male cousin who was of the same age as me. We both never had any girlfriends ever and were ...
A. 20 May 2020: I suspect it has remained in your mind because it was your "first and only". Just because you replay it in your mind when you are horny does not mean you want to go there again or that you are gay. People often fantasize about all sorts of things ... (read in full...)
I'm 17 and have no breasts!
Q. I am 17 and have literally no breasts!!!! Most of the boys and girls who I'm friends with mock me about it and I'm the only one in my friend group who doesn't have a boyfriend. All my friend are like D cups or C cups and I'm barely an A cup. What ...
A. 14 May 2020: Firstly, everyone develops at different rates. Just because your breasts are currently small does not mean they will not "catch up" later.
Secondly, you need to love the body you have. Not everyone likes big breasts. Dress to make the most of ... (read in full...)
How do I move on from the fixation on my crush
Q. So I have a crush on a guy. We were meant to meet for a walk a two weeks ago but a misunderstanding/miscommunication happened and we didn't end up meeting. He asked if I could meet the following day but I said i was busy with clients. He has...
A. 14 May 2020: You are in your 30s, you have a "fixation" on a guy with whom you have not even spent any time. You are playing games like a teenager, blocking him on social media. Wow. Just wow.
You need to grow up mentally and emotionally, stop fixating... (read in full...)
My partner's family never acknowledge my birthday
Q. Hi everyone, I am 63 and my guy is 65. We both own our own businesses, both fairly healthy. No children. We got together six years ago and both had no children from before. He lives with me in my house and they have often visited here and spent a ...
A. 14 May 2020: A few things to consider here, I think.
Firstly, your partner's family are his family, not yours. They probably think the cards arrive because HE remembers to send them. Even if they realize you are the driving force behind the cards, it sounds l... (read in full...)
This guy I've met shares a house, and sometimes meals, with his ex wife.
Q. I have met someone He is divorced and has 3 grown children the youngest is 20 and still in college. The ex wife and he share a house he lives in the basement and she lives on the first floor. They sometimes share meals and when daughter comes home ...
A. 14 May 2020: I'm torn on what I think about this. On the one hand, it is fantastic that they have such a civilized "non-marriage" and, despite their marriage coming to an end, they obviously still like each other enough to rub along ok. On the other hand, ... (read in full...)
I don't know if my husband is insecure or its something deeper?
Q. Hi everyone. I am married and my husband was lovely and attentive, but now we are married he wants me to change the way I dress, not wear makeup and not see friends. He gives me money for shopping, but I do not have my name on the bank account ...
A. 13 May 2020: You earn your own money but don't have your own bank account? Why?
This is just the start. He will become more and more demanding and will start accusing you of wanting to bed any man with whom you have any contact.
If I were you, I would run... (read in full...)
I don't know if my husband is insecure or its something deeper?
Q. Hi everyone. I am married and my husband was lovely and attentive, but now we are married he wants me to change the way I dress, not wear makeup and not see friends. He gives me money for shopping, but I do not have my name on the bank account ...
A. 13 May 2020: You earn your own money but don't have your own bank account? Why?
This is just the start. He will become more and more demanding and will start accusing you of wanting to bed any man with whom you have any contact.
If I were you, I would run... (read in full...)
Gentlemen, how many likes do you get on dating apps?
Q. As the title of my post asks - how many Likes does the average male homo sapien get from women on dating apps? A few months ago my sister helped me create an online dating profile. She helped take my profile photos, reviewed my profile and then...
A. 13 May 2020: Are you really in your late 30s? I ask because I would have expected someone of that age to be a bit more mature than belly-aching about how many "likes" he gets on a dating site. Someone can get one like and find a worthwhile partner, while others ... (read in full...)
Why is my ex fiance distancing himself from me? He wanted to be friends
Q. Hi all... My current boyfriend broke up with me two weeks ago. I was really heart broken. So, I reached out to my ex-fiancé for advice. Him and I haven’t spoken in a year. My ex-fiancé told me he wasn’t in love with me and left me for his ex. His ex ...
A. 13 May 2020: You know there are more men in the world than your ex boyfriends, don't you? Why would you keep returning to them when you have already been there and it hasn't worked out? Exes are exes for good reason. Leave them in the past where they belong and ... (read in full...)
No one takes me on real dates
Q. Dating is not what I thought it would be and I'm ready to give up! My first boyfriend I was 13 and it was fine till he dumped me. We were in 7th grade and most teachers by then didn't make us have assigned seats so we sat next to each other. W...
A. 10 May 2020: If they don't make you a priority, they don't deserve you. If their tablets etc are more important to them than a relationship with you, they don't deserve you. Get where I am coming from?
Stick to your standards. People will only treat you the ... (read in full...)
What are examples of someone being a co-pilot in a relationship?
Q. I have been torturing myself wondering why I was not good enough for my ex-boyfriend. He made a comment to me that will forever haunt me. He said I was never his "co-pilot" and that "I will never be what he wants me to be". I don't understand what ...
A. 10 May 2020: He was trying to justify dumping you for someone else. Honestly, I wouldn't read more into his words than him being an ar$ehole and trying to put the blame for his cheating onto you. Attack is the best form of defense - and that is exactly the ... (read in full...)
Why does my husband have an unhealthy obsession with me, my body and other men looking at me?
Q. I am a 35 year old woman married for the last 6 years and have a 2 year old child. My husband is a genuinely good person who dotes on the baby and me. The problem is that he dotes on me a little too much. Despite being married for 6 years and ...
A. 9 May 2020: Ignore previous post. Just realized this is the correct post. Losing the plot. Soz. ... (read in full...)
Why does my husband have an unhealthy obsession with me, my body and other men looking at me?
Q. I am a 35 year old woman married for the last 6 years and have a 2 year old child. My husband is a genuinely good person who dotes on the baby and me. The problem is that he dotes on me a little too much. Despite being married for 6 years and ...
A. 9 May 2020: Huge apologies. I have just realized my answer is on the wrong post! Doh!
... (read in full...)
I feel devastated at his betrayal. Do I move on?
Q. Hi. just wanna ask some advices. so i have this LDR bf for a year and 4 months now.bwe met in person January 2020. things went well and planned future together. as we continue being in a LDR, its not easy to keep the relationship strong and healthy. ...
A. 9 May 2020: If a close friend or family member came to you and said "Heh, I've had this LDR with a guy who I've caught out cheating on me, who I've met once and with whom I was planning a future", what advice would you give them?
Even if he does get in conta... (read in full...)
I want to help my boyfriend deal with his past sexual abuse
Q. Hi all. I wasn't sure where else to ask this, but I am not sure what my best actions can be. While drunk, my boyfriend recently divulged some information to me about his past. Basically when he was 14 (he's 28 now), an older woman (early-mid ...
A. 8 May 2020: It is admirable that you want to help him but it sounds like he needs professional guidance to get over this trauma. With the best will in the world, you do not have the skills to help him, must as you would like to do so.
It is good that he ... (read in full...)
Why does my husband have an unhealthy obsession with me, my body and other men looking at me?
Q. I am a 35 year old woman married for the last 6 years and have a 2 year old child. My husband is a genuinely good person who dotes on the baby and me. The problem is that he dotes on me a little too much. Despite being married for 6 years and ...
A. 8 May 2020: I suspect that, at least in part, this is about the universal difference between most men and most women: women need to feel loved to want sex but men need to have sex to feel loved. (I do say "most" as it is by no means everyone.)
I know this is ... (read in full...)
Why do men keep viewing me as a booty call in college?
Q. Hi everyone. I have a question about college guys, hooking up and dating. I recently transferred to a new university and I realized it was a huge mistake. Outside of academics, I don't like my classmates or the location, but I've already been her...
A. 5 May 2020: Not being attracted to crude boorish men does not make you asexual, sweetheart. It makes you discerning and classy. Stick to your guns. University will not last for ever. Once you finish your studies, you can move into the outside world where you ... (read in full...)
Am I still a virgin if we didn't actually have sex
Q. Me and this guy were just hanging out and we start making out he tells me if I’ve ever had sex and I say no so he says he’s just going to put the tip in he try’s and I told him to stop he tries again and it hurt even more so I said no he said he got ...
A. 5 May 2020: So this guy isn't even your boyfriend, just "this guy"? What the hell were you doing "making out" with him? If you don't know how to say "no" and mean it, you really shouldn't be putting yourself in situations where some random guy can take ... (read in full...)
I hate my husband for putting me down
Q. I hate my husband! I'm am clumsy person and makes unintentionally tiny mistakes. He always calls me stupid, retard, etc. I have a master's degree and I come from a good family. I don't call people's names even if I am mad. My husband said I'm weak ...
A. 5 May 2020: What do YOU think you should do? What do you WANT to do? You have two options: get out or live for the next however many years being verbally abused by this horrible man. What do you think you deserve? ... (read in full...)
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