Dating a married woman now she suddenly becomes distant, what should I do?
Q. hi, been dating a married woman for a month, but chatted for few years before meeting, know everything about each other, even her husband her family and her husbands family kept hassling her and asking about me (because they keep seeing me ...
A. 7 December 2020: Why don't you ask her husband? See what he thinks about it all?
He is still her husband, regardless of where he lives. If she wants to mess around with other men, she needs to cut ties with him and get a divorce, not cheat on him behind his back... (read in full...)
How do I detox from this breakup?
Q. I feel toxicated and traumatized by the break up I had. He has several mental health issues and we dated long distance due to covid from a year. (No sexual contact ever)- now I know that sounds like it would be easy. But it's not..more than the ...
A. 7 December 2020: Sounds like you dodged a bullet there. Thank your lucky stars you did not actually have physical contact with him. If you live with depression, contact with someone who is critical. judgmental and self obsessed will drag you down even further. You ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to say I am straight?
Q. I am a man and I do not consider myself bi or gay but I do like an occassional get together with another man from time to time I like to give him oral nothing in return I prefer to give oral to a straight married man My question is is it wrong to ...
A. 7 December 2020: Is it wrong to say to whom? To the man you are entertaining with oral sex? I doubt any man who has received oral sex from you is going to believe you. To the woman who wonders if you are straight? When she finds out you like to give oral sex to men, ... (read in full...)
I'm upset with myself for falling for a player who doesn't want to wear condoms
Q. Yesterday I slept with a guy I've been seeing for the first time. We were almost naked when I asked if he had a condom - I'm 33 and he's 27 - he said he doesn't ever use them. I demanded he out his clothes back on and we go buy some because there ...
A. 6 December 2020: Never under-estimate the power of lust - which is exactly what you are feeling. It's a very strong emotion but you need to realize it is not something on which to build a long-term relationship.
He's very attractive (and probably knows it) so h... (read in full...)
I have zero trust in men after my past and need to know how to trust
Q. Hey Cupid’s, Want a bit of advice about how I can get better at trusting people in relationships. I’m 26 and have had three serious relationships in my life. All have them have surpassed a couple of years. I’m currently in one and I feel like I ha...
A. 4 December 2020: You've reached that 2 year mark and, based on previous experience, your mind is telling you this is the time things "go wrong". The logical part of your brain knows this is not necessarily so, but the emotional side of your brain worries that it may ... (read in full...)
Would I be selling myself out if I dated a girl who bullied me in school?
Q. A girl who used to bully me at school started messaging me out of the blue and has asked me out. She hasn’t apologised or even acknowledged what she did yet is being nice as pie to me now. I suppose it’s partly my fault because I’ve not brought...
A. 4 December 2020: She may be "fit" on the outside, but she was (and possibly still is) ugly on the inside. Anyone who thinks it is acceptable behaviour to bully someone to the extent she did to you is not a nice person in my book, regardless of how attractive they ... (read in full...)
My husband is taking out loans behind my back
Q. My husband and I have separate bank accounts. years ago we had a joint one and I think it was me who decided I didn't want one anymore with him anymore as we were going through a bad time, I had trust issues with him about dating sites I had found ...
A. 3 December 2020: This appears to have less to do with the actual loans than your lack of trust in your husband. The loans are not really your concern, just where he is spending the money.
Lack of trust in a relationship is a dripping tap which will slowly e... (read in full...)
How do you respond to a break up with a gay guy?
Q. Dear Aunties, Good evening from Nairobi Kenya. I had previously asked a question about this guy younger than me who we have been having an intimate relationship with. How do you respond to a break up with a gay guy? I am 36, he is 22. We have ...
A. 3 December 2020: Regardless of what your "gaydar" is telling you, this guy is never going to be into you in the same way you are into him. You have doggedly pursued him all these years, since he was an impressionable teenager. He is still not giving you what you ... (read in full...)
How can I make amends from 16 years ago? I bullied him because I was attracted to him
Q. When I was in high school, I was bisexual (I'm still am bisexual) but I was too scared to admit it. There was one classmate, a boy named Andrew, who I started being sexually attracted to. He could walk by and I would get erections. I eve...
A. 3 December 2020: Call me cynical but I strongly suspect your urge to apologize to this victim of your bullying is not as altruistic as the other aunts and uncles are assuming. My gut tells me this is more about your past - and, I suspect, current - attraction to ... (read in full...)
How are others dealing with the anxiety caused from the pandemic?
Q. I know I am not the only one experiencing problem with this ongoing pandemic but I'm wondering if any of the wonderful aunts and uncles could give me some advice that perhaps I haven't tried or thought of? I am having such a hard time just trying...
A. 30 November 2020: Everyone has their own outlook and their own way of getting through this horrible time - and there is no disputing it IS a horrible time. People with anxiety are suffering horrendously. Mental health issues are at an all time high.
I refuse t... (read in full...)
I'm horny and think my daughter in law might be interested
Q. Hello and I am a 75 yr.old man who horny all the time. My daughter in law is 52 yrs. old. She pretty and loves to dance. Not too long ago she and I were dancing a slow dance when I got a hard on, she felt it and smiled at me. About a week later she ...
A. 28 November 2020: TROLL ALERT! Aunts beware: this is the private message I just received from this person:
Hi and ok I admit it that I.M ALWAYS HORNY. MY DAUGHTER IN LAW LIKES TO STARE AND SMILE AT ME sHE DOES RUB HERSELF WHEN MY PENIS IS OUT. sHE IS THE TYPE OF ... (read in full...)
How to say no to a friend?
Q. How to say no to a friend? My childhood friend wants to come for Christmas with his new bf. Due to the COVID pandemic, this is not OK with my husband and me. Otherwise we would be happy to have have them stay with us over the holidays. My ...
A. 28 November 2020: I think this all boils down to everyone respecting the views of others and allowing people to live their lives as they see fit. I don't think there are actually many people who don't believe the virus exists; they simply choose not to live in fear. ... (read in full...)
Is it pointless for me to search for a partner?
Q. Long story short, I've lived in a toxic home my whole life for almost 3 decades, and after finally breaking away, I feel better than before. In a nutshell, living alone is the most amazing thing ever. I don't yearn for there to be anyone there by ...
A. 28 November 2020: You suffered nearly 30 years living in a toxic home and have only just recently broken away (well done for that). Of course it is all new and wonderful. I remember feeling similar when I bought my own place. It was just bliss.
I do think you are ... (read in full...)
I'm horny and think my daughter in law might be interested
Q. Hello and I am a 75 yr.old man who horny all the time. My daughter in law is 52 yrs. old. She pretty and loves to dance. Not too long ago she and I were dancing a slow dance when I got a hard on, she felt it and smiled at me. About a week later she ...
A. 28 November 2020: I can't decide whether this is a wind-up or genuine, but I will give you the benefit of the doubt.
Somebody of your mature years cannot be stupid enough to think this is a good idea. You need to start thinking with your brain, not your hard on.... (read in full...)
I'm not sure how to handle my insecurity and paranoia about my boyfriend's social media account
Q. Here goes my insecure, slightly paranoid post. My boyfriend and I have been together nearly 2 years, we live together, have a puppy together and want to spend our lives together. However I keep getting caught up in things, mainly social media thi...
A. 26 November 2020: I've always believed that the strength of a relationship is inversely proportional to the amount it is bigged up on social media. People who are happy don't need to prove anything to others. On the other hand, people who suspect others know they are ... (read in full...)
He dumped me for no reason and now won't talk to me. Help me fix it.
Q. We dated for 3 weeks. Everything was amazing. We spent a lot of time together and talked for 7 to 8 hours a day about everything. When we were together it was like we has known each other our entire lives. He told his family, friends and son about ...
A. 24 November 2020: In my experience, people who rush into relationships full speed are equally as capable of shutting them down in the blink of an eye. Three weeks is no time as all where relationships are concerned. If I had been in your shoes, getting introduced to ... (read in full...)
How do I help my boyfriend improve his feelings of self-worth and convince him I'm not going to leave him
Q. I(24F) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (23M) for three years and I absolutely love him to bits. We met whilst I was at university working in retail. I have now moved onto train to become an accountant whilst he still works there. ...
A. 23 November 2020: Your boyfriend's descent into mental unwellness is, sadly, typical of how many are feeling at the moment. This whole lockdown malarkey is affecting may people's mental health in negative ways.
It's sad but true that many (men most especial... (read in full...)
He's declaring his undying love for him even though I have expressed I don't feel the same. I don't want to lose him as a friend! What can I do?
Q. The guy i’m ‘seeing’ is overbearing with his declarations of love for me. It is unbelievable how much we have in common, and how alike we are. Hard to believe there is someone out there the same as me. He makes me very happy, and i’d dearly love to ...
A. 23 November 2020: I believe you DO already know what you have to do, painful as it is going to be. You two have very different agendas for this relationship, hence you are both going to end up being unhappy and getting hurt. Been there, done that; trust me, it is ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling guilty for ending a relationship
Q. So I was in a relationship with someone until Friday. After thinking about everything between us I choose to end it after just under one year. I felt in a lot of ways wee weren't really compatible and tbh wee would be better as friends. I tried ex...
A. 23 November 2020: Without wanting to sound brutal, his happiness is not your responsibility; YOUR happiness, and that of your child, are your prime concern. You should never have to subjugate your happiness to that of someone else. If you were not happy being with ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is angry that he found a porn site I went to
Q. Ok , so yesterday my bf went through my history and found a porn site that I went on , he got so upset that hes making the biggest deal out of it . He says that it's a broken promise , because I promised I would never play with it again . Is that ...
A. 22 November 2020: Why did you have to promise not to go on a porn site? And what was he doing checking your internet history? Did you agree to him doing that? ... (read in full...)
Married man says he isn't going anywhere. What does that mean?
Q. met him at work and we are both attracted to each othe r but he says he has been married for 7 years and have visited just twice,which my gut instinct tells me it a lie but respected that and decided wanted to move away from him but he says he isn't ...
A. 22 November 2020: Sorry, I'm not exactly sure what part of your post means. However, it doesn't matter what this married man means. What matters is he is married. He is not going to leave his wife. If you have a relationship with him, you will never be anything more ... (read in full...)
How do we deal with our hellion daughter?
Q. Sadly 2 years ago we had to ask our then 20 year old daughter to leave our house and move in with her bf, since she turned 14 she was a total nightmare, always in trouble always testing boundaries and generally had no respect for anyone let alone us ...
A. 22 November 2020: I agree, nobody deserves to be treated the way your daughter is treating you. However, she does sound very unhappy. Have you ever taken her to a psychiatrist? Would she consider doing it in the future? Have you ever sat her down when she is in a ... (read in full...)
Mortified after period sex 'accident'
Q. I had sex on my period the other day and leaked all over my boyfriend's lower regions and our bed. He insisted he wasn't bothered at all and told me not to worry about it but I can't help it. I can't even look him in the eyes without feeling ...
A. 19 November 2020: You can't change what happened but you can change how you view it. Why not try to see it in a funny way? Many people manage to turn embarrassing episodes like this into funny stories which make people laugh. Listen to your boyfriend when he tells ... (read in full...)
This has never happened to me before, Is my female boss being friendly or wanting something more from me ?
Q. I don't know if it's harassment, her being friendly or she's wanting something more and I'm very confused about it and haven't laid a finger on her. I'm male and in my ninth week at a new job in a warehouse and within the first week my female b...
A. 17 November 2020: THIS reply of yours says it all for me:
"Sorry to disagree with the lady from Canada but, being male and a new employee and a complete stranger working there, if I would do any of the things she has done to me, I would be in deep trouble right no... (read in full...)
This has never happened to me before, Is my female boss being friendly or wanting something more from me ?
Q. I don't know if it's harassment, her being friendly or she's wanting something more and I'm very confused about it and haven't laid a finger on her. I'm male and in my ninth week at a new job in a warehouse and within the first week my female b...
A. 14 November 2020: I work for a company where we are very relaxed with each other so, while I understand your boss is making you feel uncomfortable, I don't see anything in your post which would indicate she has overstepped any marks. I suspect, because you used to ... (read in full...)
Why won't my remaining family ever acknowledge that I am an artist?
Q. I come from a working class family that was originally fairly large but now there are few family members left. My background was abusive and my career path has not been at all straight forward. I was always 'top of my class' in school and was ...
A. 12 November 2020: A couple of things in your post make me wonder if your family have actually seen your art and are perhaps "uncomfortable" with it or don't know how to react to it?
You admit your art "fits into a long history of women's art that relates to issue... (read in full...)
How do I get the full story out of my boyfriend?
Q. I looked at my boyfriend's phone when he got a notification. He was asleep after a night out, and left his phone on the sofa. Curiosity got to me so I read the message. There were 2 from girls. One of them said "Morning xx", the 2nd said "okay Da...
A. 9 November 2020: My gut instinct is that he has a child with another woman, hence the "daddy" title. Just because he SAID he wouldn't cheat does not necessarily mean he wouldn't. Words are cheap and people will often say what they think someone wants to hear.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's grandmother wants me to breakup with him?
Q. Hello, I am in my mid twenties and have dated my boyfriend since high school. My question is regarding his grandmother. Now, I know I shouldn't take her criticism too seriously but it has recently bothered me. Last week my boyfriend visite...
A. 9 November 2020: How is your relationship? Are you both happy?
I can't help having a niggling feeling at the back of my mind that this may have absolutely nothing to do with his grandmother but more to do with him trying to find a way of breaking up with you, eve... (read in full...)
We're dating he says he loves me but he's still hung up on his ex
Q. I've been dating a guy for 6 months and I feel like I love him. About a month ago, he told me that he still loves his ex girlfriend (lasted 3 years and ended when she meet someone else while working abroad). I have split up with him a couple of ...
A. 9 November 2020: The problem here is not whether you love each other or not (that in itself is debatable after such a short relationship), but whether he is over his ex - which he clearly is not. When someone actually spells something out, you need to listen. He is ... (read in full...)
My FWB has stopped having casual sex with me but we are constantly in touch
Q. So im really confused. Before lockdown I was in FWB with this guy. However lately we are not sleeping toegther. Last time we just cuddled. He was fine but later messaged saying this is how feelings develop and wasnt ok with it because he cant commit ...
A. 7 November 2020: I have extracted a few things from your post which, to me at least, make it obvious what is going on here:
The first is, "he cant commit right now". This is a line people (not just guys) have used over the decades to keep someone "on hold". T... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is setting up all night outers with her friends. I am not happy about this
Q. Hi need help, Been with my girlfriend for five months, everything is going well and we are very happy together. Some problem has surfaced, my girlfriend is 24 and I'm 28. She is starting to organize nights out with her girlfriends implying sh...
A. 4 November 2020: You two are at very different stages of your lives. She wants to go out and party, you want to stay at home and (I assume) have a relationship where you do things together.
Do you two share time together and do things you both enjoy? If so, then... (read in full...)
I thought my LDR girlfriend was a virgin. She's not and I can't get over it
Q. It's been four months of my long distance relationship with my girlfriend. couple of weeks ago, she told me she is not a virgin and she had sex with her ex once.This came up as a sunrise and this surprise hurts me. I'm in love with this girl and I'm ...
A. 4 November 2020: Instead of focusing on her not being a virgin, why don't you focus on her trusting you enough to tell you she isn't? She could easily have lied. Instead she wanted you to know the truth.
Have you two ever even met? This is not meant to sound pa... (read in full...)
My male colleague distances himself when I told him my feelings. Any advice about moving on, and what I should have done differently?
Q. I am looking for insight on this situation of mine of a relationship that had dissolved. I am seeking a career change because it holds poor memories. I had a friendship with a male colleague for a year which I know he valued. I thought that he recip...
A. 29 October 2020: What should you have done differently? Where to start?
- When someone "friend" zones you, they are not interested in anything other than being friends, regardless of how much they tell you they value your friendship. Someone who wants more wil... (read in full...)
I befriended a co-worker who has many issues and I don’t know how to end the friendship!
Q. I need help, I seem to have got myself into a horrible situation. First thing is first I would like to acknowledge my own short coming and my responsibility here. I started a new job with an office of 25-30 women in one big room. I'm not much for...
A. 28 October 2020: This is not a friendship. This is a parasitic relationship. It is abusive in its own way. You didn't sign up to be at her beck and call and to support her through her drug and alcohol abuse. You are a good person but, if you carry on being so ... (read in full...)
What is a nice gesture to re-ignite the spark?
Q. How can you re ignite a spark in a relationship. Ladies what would be a nice gesture or action after busy week of work. Can you guys give me ideas? Doesn’t have to be sexual as No point for the whole build up if she can only last 15 minutes in be...
A. 26 October 2020: How about doing all the things she would normally have to do after a full day's work? Or doing things she has to keep asking you to do before she asks? Quite often it's the little things which make a huge difference. If she has to keep asking you to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a very strange relationship with his mother! Am I overthinking or shoul I run?
Q. Help! I have almost been dating a guy for a year. He has a very strange relationship with his Mom. She’s very possessive over him. He lives in a mother in law apartment with his Parents. He makes sexual jokes with his Mom. Once I was down stairs ...
A. 26 October 2020: The bottom line is that it is completely irrelevant what others think about your boyfriend, his mother or their relationship. As you have seen, everyone has a slightly different take on the situation. Nobody else is in a relationship with them ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a very strange relationship with his mother! Am I overthinking or shoul I run?
Q. Help! I have almost been dating a guy for a year. He has a very strange relationship with his Mom. She’s very possessive over him. He lives in a mother in law apartment with his Parents. He makes sexual jokes with his Mom. Once I was down stairs ...
A. 25 October 2020: Have you two talked about a future together? If not, why not? You've been dating for a year. Surely you must have some idea of whether you want this relationship to become something serious or whether it's run its course?
Every family is differen... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is quite narcissistic! How do I respond to him?
Q. Hello, I feel like my boyfriend is narcissistic and I'm getting tired of his behaviors. Lately, when I talk to him about my day, he interjects with how he's doing. Sometimes, he'll only respond in texts with one word answers like "Okay" or "Cool"...
A. 25 October 2020: This struck me as just someone who has poor social skills and doesn't know how to hold a proper conversation. Or even someone who can't be bothered to make the effort to listen. You would be surprised (or maybe not) how many people like him there ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my mom that I think my stepdad is cheating on her?
Q. I am a 19 year old male living with my mom and my step dad. I have a growing suspicion that my stepdad is cheating on my mom, or at the least watching porn behind her back, and here are some reasons why I think this: First, I have seen him take ...
A. 20 October 2020: My advice is the same for this relationship as for all others: stay out of it. This is not YOUR relationship. There are two people in the relationship and one of them is not YOU.
Your mum is lucky to have you looking out for her but you can't ge... (read in full...)
This old friend of his is getting on my nerves! Should I just let him block her?
Q. Okay so I have been seeing my other half for around 6 months now. Everything is great between us however he has a female friend he has know for 20 years she is just a friend and married herself ect. However she is driving me mental now she mails or ...
A. 18 October 2020: This woman makes your hackles rise because you allow it. She is trying to mark her territory against a new - and younger - female on the patch. She has known your boyfriend for a long time so feels entitled to do this.
What "help" does she need... (read in full...)
My new love wants children or child I don't how can I tell him no and still marry him?
Q. Afternoon everyone, So I'm back in the dating world and my children disapproves of it especially my son my daughter acts happy but I sense differently.So me and my now love are engaged now we have plans to travel move in together and just living ...
A. 18 October 2020: Are you omitting something? Just asking as, if you are 49, your chances of conceiving will be quite slim. Your husband-to-be must surely realize this.
I have never heard of a 12 year birth control. Do you mean 12 month?
Having/not ha... (read in full...)
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