Is it worth staying in a relationship when its difficult to get along?
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for a solid 9 months. He is older than me. I am 18 and he is 27. HE is an illegal immigrant and he has a 1 year old daughter with his ex. I found out about his daughter and literatly unbalanced ex 2 months ...
A. 15 February 2013: I don't think the issue with his legality is about his humanity, it's about stability. I have known a few people who have been deported and it's a life ruining nightmare for many people. They have been in this country since they were kids and don't ... (read in full...)
How can one tell the children about divorce when your spouse is too emotional to be rational?
Q. For many years now I have been unhappy in my marriage. My wife and I have been together for twenty years. After our children were born my wife became very emotional, and she tends to react to situations by shouting, swearing and crying. She's bee...
A. 15 February 2013: It seems you've already done that then she runs out and tells the kids and you feel guilty. ... (read in full...)
Who to choose, my controlling bf, or the one I always wanted?
Q. I have been dating my bf for 2 years now,and i love him incredibly, but at times, he makes me extrememly misrerable, especially with his controlling attitude..i've been cring for the last week because i feel like a bird trapped in a cage. To make ...
A. 14 February 2013: After you put his pluses into one column and his minuses in another and are STILL not sure what to do, ask yourself this: are you happy? I don't think you are and I don't blame you. He's treating you like his property. Admittedly a piece of property ... (read in full...)
Is this online relationship over?
Q. i have an unusal situation. i met a girl online. i know many people feel on-line relationships are insane. her best friend told me "your insane, get a real girl you can see face to face, she has a man." i showed this to my on-line friend and she u...
A. 14 February 2013: Well, I guess the bottom line is that it's hard for anyone here to know what someone else is thinking in a situation like this.
I'd guess that if she was temporarily mad, it wouldn't have been for this long. A month is a long time to be mad. Als... (read in full...)
Do I continue to keep seeing this guy in hopes that he warms up to me? Or do I just do my best to leave and save myself from heartbreak?
Q. I have been seeing this boy for about 3 months now. And, in that short amount of time I have fallen head over heels for him. I have told him that I love him, and he says he loves me too, sometimes. He said he doesn't feel comfortable saying that he ...
A. 14 February 2013: Aside from having a short fuse I'm not seeing a big problem here. You might be expecting too much from him, which basically means that the two of you are incompatible.
Move on. It's only hard for a while, but being with someone you're not comp... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is too sick and busy to be with me, and we are supposed to be at the honeymoon stage.
Q. I'm beginning to have relationship issues. My gf is full time in school and works and to top it all off, seems to get sick every other week. Not that it's necessarily anyone's fault, but I'm just beginning to feel like I don't even have a gf. We are ...
A. 14 February 2013: I hate to say it, but you're right to feel like you don't have a gf, because you really don't. I don't see any relationship in anything you described, I see a couple of people who like each other and occasionally spend time together.
I'd just cut... (read in full...)
I don't think my wife likes having sex with me
Q. Hey guys. I have some weird problems with my wife. I'm 24 and she's 23, we've been together for 3 years now. We have an almost healthy sexual life. We have sex about 7/8 times a week but the thing is: she doesn't seem to love having sex with ...
A. 14 February 2013: It sounds to me like you guys rushed into marriage. In other words you're not as compatible as you ideally would be.
You need to stop obsessing over whether or not she's enjoying sex and simply try and make it more enjoyable for her. Try new thin... (read in full...)
Forthcoming date with my ex ... how to show him what he's been missing?
Q. Hey all!!! Some much needed help please! My bf of 2 years and I broke up just over a month ago.. but we have both continued to see each other every so often. Today we decided to start dating again and just see how it goes. I'm really happy ab...
A. 14 February 2013: I would say no to every single one of your ideas and agree with you that you're horrible at it.
What you need to do is go somewhere different, like take dance lessons, go to one of those movie theaters you can get food and drink alcohol at, take... (read in full...)
I feel stuck, lonely and worthless... any words of encouragement or advice?
Q. I feel terribly lonely and sad. I feel unloved. And like people underestimate me. I can't help but look back at when I was in high school and was rejected by every guy I liked, and also no guys liked me, ever. I wasn't popular, I was shy. I had a ...
A. 14 February 2013: There is a good reason people move out of small towns when they're young.
You need to move away, get a roommate online so money is no excuse.
Then you need to look into counseling.
I bet moving will make a big difference. ... (read in full...)
Is this online relationship over?
Q. i have an unusal situation. i met a girl online. i know many people feel on-line relationships are insane. her best friend told me "your insane, get a real girl you can see face to face, she has a man." i showed this to my on-line friend and she u...
A. 14 February 2013: Sageoldguy hit the nail on the head.
She's ignored you for 4 weeks. Do you really need advice on this? Does the expression "get a clue" have any meaning to you?
... (read in full...)
Girlfriend says a break will benefit both of us but I don't agree!
Q. I didn't think I would have to come here to find some insight, but I am just losing my mind and need some info/opinions from strangers because usually thats advice that is non-biased and you can take on. Well make a long story short...heres th...
A. 13 February 2013: Sage old guy is right; whether you agree or not you're taking a break. How you deal with it will determine the potential future of your relationship.
If you act afraid, needy and insecure, you'll push her away. If you go ahead with your life lik... (read in full...)
My much older boyfriend gets frustrated when I ask him why he's with me
Q. My boyfriend is a lot older (he's 46 I'm 24) and I asked why he was with me. His first response was "I don't know the answer to that" later he said "because I like you". I want to know why he's with me but he just gets frustrated when I ask. I am ...
A. 13 February 2013: This is a question that most guys really don't like to answer. It's a trap half the time, and the other half there is no right answer except whatever the girl wants to hear.
My recommendation is to stop fishing for compliments and be happy th... (read in full...)
How much time should you know a person before taking a move for dating/relationship?
Q. Hello, I am 21 studying at university. I wanted to ask about how much time you should know a person before taking a move for dating/relationship?? And how do you show you are interested and take the move?? please share your views and ex...
A. 13 February 2013: This is kind of a silly question and I had to resist the urge to make a joke here.
Why would you wait at all? If you've a girl that you like, ask her out. Or if you've been talking with someone and you see potential, then ask them out. I have had... (read in full...)
Who to choose, my controlling bf, or the one I always wanted?
Q. I have been dating my bf for 2 years now,and i love him incredibly, but at times, he makes me extrememly misrerable, especially with his controlling attitude..i've been cring for the last week because i feel like a bird trapped in a cage. To make ...
A. 13 February 2013: "But at times he makes me extremely miserable." How much of your relationship do you feel this way? You should be happy, fyi. Once the word "miserable" starts to present itself its time to reevaluate things.
Leaving your bf would be hard, no... (read in full...)
Is my weight putting boys off?
Q. I am 17 and i am 5'7" and nearly 160lbs. i have always been bigger than my friends but now its really getting me down. right now all my close friends and sister have boyfriends and i really want one. is my weight putting boys off? it makes me feel ...
A. 13 February 2013: I had a girlfriend that was your weight and height and I didn't consider her to be overweight at all, she was very beautiful. Although she was "thick" so her breasts and butt were full. If the little bit of extra weight you do have is in your face ... (read in full...)
Is it OK to see someone you've broken up with one last time to end things on a positive note?
Q. I met a man a while ago and we started dating. It was going well and I really liked him and still do, but unfortunately, because of circumstances outside our control, we have to go our separate ways. I won't go into it because it's a long story but ...
A. 13 February 2013: Whenever it's possible, ending things "on a good note" is a great idea. It can help with closure, which is one of the things people struggle with the most in a breakup. ... (read in full...)
Are my fears valid? I am afraid that if I lose weight, I will get noticed just as a person up for sex and they will take no notice of my personality.
Q. Is anyone having a hard time losing weight, because they fear that they will attract guys/girls for the wrong reasons? I am significantly overweight, and am invisible to the opposite sex. I am perfectly presentable, and kind, and likeable othe...
A. 13 February 2013: It's also a turn off for many perfectly good people for many legitimate reasons. Losing weight will make you more attractive to the average man, and what's wrong with being attractive? It should be something to look forward to, not be afraid of.
... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend getting satisfied?
Q. My boyfriend makes me wonder because he's been ejuculating outside , everytime he takes it out when the big moment comes . I'm worried if he got satisfied or ?????...
A. 13 February 2013: You didn't write anything that indicates he's not satisfied, just that he may not want a baby. ... (read in full...)
My friend manipulated me and I cant forgive him, what do I do?
Q. Hi guys! I am having a very big problem right now and would love to have someone elses opinion on what I should do. For the past few months I have been hanging around with my friend of 8 years much more recently because we decided it would be g...
A. 13 February 2013: I agree with iamheretohelpyou.
Also, this guy doesn't get "the nicest way possible" : so just say what you need to say that has the effect you want it to have. Don't be mean but be as honest as you need to be. ... (read in full...)
Is she playing games or is she not interested?
Q. So I met this girl online a year or two ago. Long time, anyways, we just casually chatted for all that time and I wasn't really into her, I just wanted to be a friend to her. She's a shy type and I supposed she wanted me to ask her out but I never ...
A. 13 February 2013: There are girls who don't kiss on the first date, so you're not necessarily "out of there".
However no matter how you look at it I wouldn't be too enthusiastic about this girl. She's either not into you, playing games, or too inexperi... (read in full...)
Still getting over breaking up with a girl I loved. Will I ever find love again? It's difficult for me to meet girls and I have few real friends.
Q. I am eighteen and was dumped a short while ago by a girl i loved to bits. I'm worried that I'll never find the right girl. I know im still a little young but im getting older. I'm just upset all the time because i have about three real friends. A...
A. 12 February 2013: You have about 60 years left, you should be able able to find someone.
When you are dumped it can make you feel undesirable, but you need to remember that people are all different. She didn't dump you because there's something wrong with you, she... (read in full...)
Since our break-up have I made a mistake by ignoring him?
Q. My boyfriend and I split up a while ago due to arguments. I really love him and want him back. My friends have said to ignore him which I have done for the entire week. And through out week he has sent me a few messages asking me out to movies an...
A. 12 February 2013: Not getting along with someone is a good reason to not be with them. If you want to get back with him then something has to change or you'll start arguing again.
To your question: ignoring him was a good idea, however you shouldn't complete... (read in full...)
I know I must move on from him. But I need help on how to love on please?
Q. How can I move on from a straight-gay men relationship? I've had this boyfriend whom I loved so much (till now). We were friends for like 3 years. We study in the same University and we both belong to the same section. He was one of ...
A. 12 February 2013: He doesn't sound very straight to me.
I imagine that he cares about you but is finding his feelings very difficult to accept. Not to mention he may not be ready to have his sexuality known to others and the constant fear of getting caught m... (read in full...)
My boyfriend married someone else a few weeks ago. Should I listen to his words that we could be together?
Q. my boyfriend got married to some other person few weeks back. He says they are not staying together, and he still tells me that he loves me and want to be with me forever and will marry me. i am not getting what to do I am not able to go away ...
A. 12 February 2013: When I was in love with my girl I married her, not someone else.
That's usually how it works.
He may love you, but he made his choice and both of you need to accept that. You should move on with your life and if he divorces her THEN you can... (read in full...)
Was my Bf out of line for objecting to the discussions I had with my best girlfriend who is newly married?
Q. My best friend got married recently. I had a text chat with her regarding her sexual life and she told me about the things that happened between her and her husband. My boyfriend saw those chats and started fighting with me that how can I talk l...
A. 12 February 2013: He probably figured out that you have those same conversations about him. It doesn't bother me, but I COMPLETELY understand why it'd bother him.
You should talk to him and tell him you don't have those kinds of conversations about him, she just... (read in full...)
How can one tell the children about divorce when your spouse is too emotional to be rational?
Q. For many years now I have been unhappy in my marriage. My wife and I have been together for twenty years. After our children were born my wife became very emotional, and she tends to react to situations by shouting, swearing and crying. She's bee...
A. 12 February 2013: I was going to say the exact same thing as So Very Confused.
It's not fair of you to punish your children because of your wife's irrational behavior. There is no reason not to tell the kids first and react to them without the presence of your man... (read in full...)
Gf says she'd date her ex if we broke up. How would you react if a partner said this? Unsettled? Insecure?
Q. If you were having general conversation, and your boyfriend or girlfriend admitted that they'd consider dating some of their ex's again, hypothetically, if you two broke up, would that alarm you or bother you? My gf admitted that if we broke up...
A. 12 February 2013: She probably should have kept her mouth shut, but nothing she said indicates she's done anything wrong; in fact it may indicate that she's a "good breaker upper" which is a good thing.
If you trusted her before this shouldn't change that. ... (read in full...)
Should I look to date someone? Should I avoid it? Am I going about this all wrong?
Q. My last relationship ended 3 years ago. It's been kind of tough on me and despite seeing a few girls between now and then there weren't any that I even considered wanting to make my girlfriend. About a week after my ex and I broke up she started ...
A. 12 February 2013: You say getting a girlfriend because you're lonely and want to fill a void is unhealthy. Why? If people were never lonely and had a void to fill the human race would have died out a long time ago. I'm sure you can handle whatever mental trauma you ... (read in full...)
Is it worth staying in a relationship when its difficult to get along?
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for a solid 9 months. He is older than me. I am 18 and he is 27. HE is an illegal immigrant and he has a 1 year old daughter with his ex. I found out about his daughter and literatly unbalanced ex 2 months ...
A. 12 February 2013: Making him choose between his daughter and you is a great way to end up single.
I don't see one reason why you should stay with him. This is a ridiculous situation and you should both be with someone who you're more compatible with. ... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting about his annoying habit of 'liking' his female Facebook friends' photos?
Q. I've been going out with my boyfriend for a few months now but we've known each other for years and everything is great except there is one small thing that's annoying me... He likes a lot of his female Facebook friend's photos. They vary in c...
A. 12 February 2013: "Be true to yourself" is always good advice.
I do think you're overreacting, but if it bothers you you have every right to say something. Give him the chance to knock it off. If he doesn't, then choose between dealing with it or finding someone ... (read in full...)
What am I doing wrong? Am I the only 18 year old who has never been kissed?
Q. I am 18 and i have never had a stable boyfriend. i am really nice and fairly pretty. Im a little over weight (170lbs) andd i feel like that holds me back a bit. I have had a lot of guys interested in me over the years but they are creepy and no ...
A. 12 February 2013: You're still very young so I wouldn't say there has to be anything wrong with you. If a few years have passed and still nothing then maybe you're being too picky. ... (read in full...)
How will I ever find a nice guy to date with all this crap that people are led to believe from advertising?
Q. Sorry if this seems like a rant, but honestly, I'm just so upset/angry. I'm not exactly the biggest fan of men, just because I'm friends with men, so I hear all of the "Oh, my girlfriend is hot.. OMG that girl over there would so get it!" constan...
A. 12 February 2013: Most guys aren't as shallow as you seem to think, and the ones that are will be looking for shallow women.
Stop wasting your time worrying about things you can't change. ... (read in full...)
I'm going away for 2 weeks and we went on one date. Will he forget me in that time?
Q. Hi im on an exchange in germany at the moment but just before I left me and this guy ive liked for weeks went on a date it went really well so the day I was leaving we met up. That went really well and we kissed and he was on about meeting my family ...
A. 12 February 2013: Let's just say if two weeks is all it takes for him to forget about you then you'll be lucky to be rid of him. ... (read in full...)
Husband of many years has changed. Is he cheating?? Or does it sound like he is?
Q. Hi Everyone I have many questions but first let me explain. I have been married almost 20 yrs, I'm 38 he's 46. We have 3 beautiful children 22, 21 and 14. My 1st child is not his blood but there is no step anything in my home, however problems h...
A. 12 February 2013: He could be working too much which can cause stress related issues as well as sleep issues. There's nothing here that screams cheating to me.
Even the lack of attention seems like sleep or stress. ... (read in full...)
The personality is there. What are the positives and negatives of not having a big physical attraction to the person?
Q. Please consider if someone has the personality, but their looks aren't all the way to what you'd like and you're considering them for a serious relationship, possibly marriage. What are the positives and negatives of not having a big physical attr...
A. 12 February 2013: How long have you been dating? Attraction usually grows with time. I'd say a negative would be the temptation you might feel to be with someone attractive... for instance if you worked with an attractive person who started flirting with you.
... (read in full...)
Does anal get better with practice?
Q. Ok so I have an embarrasing question to ask.It's about anal sex,My boyfreind is really into it and the other day he suggested it,I said sure..it only hurt for like a second when he pushed in.The feeling to me is exactly like i'm in the middle of ...
A. 12 February 2013: I have to disagree with truelindoner; plenty of women LOVE anal. And it's not all about tightness, it's also about being kind of freaky.
I don't care for it too much myself but I've had girlfriends who had very strong orgasms from it.
... (read in full...)
Is five months too soon to move in with my boyfriend?
Q. I have been seeing my boyfriend for five months and we're thinking of moving in together. I spend about three or four nights a week with him anyway and we were on holidays together for over a week and got on great! I've known him for about ten ...
A. 12 February 2013: Yes it is because people are still in their nice phase. Even if you basically live there now there is a big difference between that and really living there.
I'd say two years makes the most sense but it may be difficult to wait that long for peop... (read in full...)
Do you think he loves me, or do these signs suggest he is sleeping with his ex?
Q. My boyfriend asked me out wen I was 14..we have been dating for 4 yrs now although he is 12years older than I am and I lost my virginity to him.I love him but in our first year of dating I found out his supposed ex gf was pregnant for him..I was too ...
A. 11 February 2013: He may love you but he's probably cheating and he's DEFINITELY taking advantage of you.
Not all cultures frown upon age differences like you have here, but whether they do or not, the reality is that it's easy for a man who's so nearly twice yo... (read in full...)
I have a phobia of being left behind or abandoned. Nothing I've tried is helping, and I'm afraid it is going to tear my relationship apart.
Q. I have a phobia of being left behind or abandoned, and it immensely effects many of my relationship. My current girlfriend, was originally my best friend for three years and on the fourth year she asked me out. When she goes out with her family, ...
A. 11 February 2013: Therapy takes time. In the meantime you should try to keep most of this to yourself. Don't call asking where she is, etc. or you'll push her away. ... (read in full...)
Am I cheating myself under this "settling" thing?
Q. After more daydreaming and thinking about my future, I am wondering if "settling" would be considered a negative thing at this point. I have wanted a relationship for over 10 years now, but it hasn't happened despite my efforts. The basic ...
A. 11 February 2013: Keep in mind that attraction grows as your feelings for someone grow. I've never been with a woman to whom I wasn't attracted to, but I have found myself looking at them differently after I started getting feelings for them.
This is a very har... (read in full...)
Will my wife get mad if I put up some erotica pictures in my office?
Q. I'm a big fan of vintage erotica and while my wife appreciates the beauty of photographs, I don't know if she is as big a fan as I am. Anyway, I just purchased a bunch of old photographs from Penthouse magazine creator Bob Guccione's colle...
A. 11 February 2013: How in the world would we know if your wife would think it was okay?
Use your best judgment or ask her, it's your choice. ... (read in full...)
Should I send Valentines cards to the 2 girls that I like?
Q. I am becoming more confident in asking girls out, but I'm not sure about these, so I need some advice: The girl who does my massage has a great personality and is very sexy. I have had feelings for her for a while now, and when I go and see her w...
A. 11 February 2013: There's no reason not to pursue two women, just like you wouldn't only apply for one job at a time. At this point you have no commitment to either so you're just increasing your chances of success by sending something to both.
Now, before y... (read in full...)
Is it healthy to be turned on by a girl because she did porn or sleeps with men for money?
Q. hi, i was talking to a friend of mine and he was saying how he was interested in this girl, and said that she once performed in a few adult videos and still does some escort work. Its a little beyond my stuff I'm used to so i was pretty surprised...
A. 11 February 2013: As long as it's between consenting adults and it's not ruining their lives than its healthy.
People are all different and the more judgmental among us tend to forget that. We like to think that there has to be a problem because we don't understa... (read in full...)
My wife watches porn when I'm away!
Q. Im in desperate need of help and advice, i checked our pcs history the other day for wedding venue sites that i was interested in. I stumbled onto a porn site and one of the viewed searches was "f***ing while on the phone with your husband"!!! I was ...
A. 11 February 2013: You didn't clarify if it's the porn that bothers you or the subject matter.
If it's porn then you need to do a search here to see how difficult it is to stop someone from watching it.
If it's the subject matter you need to keep an open min... (read in full...)
Why does this man adhere to what his Mommy says, always? Why is my mother in law so resistant to allowing her son to grow up?
Q. Dear Cupid ,I am love with this guy that I have known for many years. We have a daughter together. I broke the relationship off and moved to another state. We talk to one another on the phone from time to time and every time I hear his voice it mak...
A. 10 February 2013: I agree completely with male anonymous. You dumped him and took his kid to another state. If that happened to be I wouldn't be very happy. If that happened to my child the last thing I'd want was for them to get hurt again.
Parents (should)... (read in full...)
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