My abusive ex is still controlling my life today.
Q. I was dating this guy a month back, we broke up because my so called 'best friend' was a lying cow and took advantage of his paranoia to break us up then tried to get in there herself. But that's another story. The important thing here is that my ...
A. 24 February 2013: If you want him back you must like being controlled. Because him and his behavior are a package deal.
This is an important decision for you to make. Young relationships can determine your future... If you let this be the type of guy you go for y... (read in full...)
Why isn't she getting back to me after she shows interest?
Q. I got a cute girl's number, we texted, ended up going out and had a great time. She even suggested "grabbing dinner next time." I asked her out again, and she agreed, but she said that she had to check her schedule and get back to me. A couple days ...
A. 24 February 2013: There could be a million things, it's not even worth speculating. The ball is in her court, give her another couple days and if she doesn't respond but you really like her, then ask her out for a specific time and tell her you don't care what her ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a girl uses exclamation marks in her messages?
Q. There's this girl I like. I only got back in contact with her recently after 2 years. I know she had a crush on me last time I saw her. She uses exclamation marks at the end of all her sentences. I know it's speculating, but what does this mean? ...
A. 24 February 2013: She either:
A. Wants to marry you
B. Likes exclamation marks
C. Uses them to convey a cheerful attitude ... (read in full...)
My girl who had been raped before is asking me to do rough role play with her. It feels wrong.
Q. So my sex life with my GF has always been pretty vanilla, she doesn't really like kinky stuff and hates things like dildos or porn or anything that is in anyway a little wild. in the past I had often found that she seemed bored during sex and simply ...
A. 24 February 2013: It's not just women who have been raped. MANY women like to be dominated in the bedroom. It's kind of a primal thing and I wouldn't let it bother you. I've noticed that maybe 75% of the women I've been with (none of which have been abused as far as ... (read in full...)
Will he ever believe me?
Q. Hi my bf and I have been together for 10 months. From the beginning hes had control, jealousy,.and trust issues. They seem to be getting worse. He had my fb and hotmail passwords and yes he gave me his I looked maybe twice he was on my lots daily...
A. 24 February 2013: No he won't and things will get worse and worse. You need to leave this guy and never look back.
Listen to me carefully: this type of behavior is the same as many women have experienced who ended up DEAD. Many would have defended their man unti... (read in full...)
Received advice before, but still feeling bad . . .
Q. I have posted a couple of questions on this site and I received a lot of good answers that built me up. However, I am still in the same place I was when I started posting because for every kind answer I received here there were others on the ...
A. 24 February 2013: You can always find opinions on the Internet that will make you feel bad if you're the type that naturally has low self esteem. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants to go away travelling. Will our relationship survive?
Q. Hi there I am really in need of some advice and possibly just pointing me in the right direction! I have been with my boyfriend for about 4 months and it's going really well. He was recently made redundant but has quite a bit of money and wants to ...
A. 24 February 2013: My brother went away for months at a time, every year. His gf was accepting but probably not happy.
Things were fine when he got back.
The bottom line is that this is possibly a once in a lifetime opportunity for him, so don't hold him b... (read in full...)
Boyfriend will not acknowledge me on facebook
Q. I have been with a man for 1 year ..we get together every other weekend as my 10 yr son goes to his fathers house. I have travelled with this man and still I find it troubling he wont ackowledge my relationship status on facebook, I am getting upset ...
A. 24 February 2013: You are taking Facebook way too seriously. Unless he's saying bad things about you on FB then leave him alone or you'll just push him away.
Put your energy into reality. ... (read in full...)
After reading my boyfriend's messages he doesn't think I'm hot enough?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for just over half a year, today I checked his Facebook not because I don't trust him. Jus because he told me of an old friend who messaged him recently from Spain, I was interested and so decided to read it, I ...
A. 24 February 2013: His friend asked if you were hot and he said yeah. Pretty straightforward.
You are also the best looking girl in your school who still has a good personality.
He phrased it poorly but it wasn't meant for you to read. He didn't think any... (read in full...)
BF said "I love you" for the first time after I gave him oral sex - did he mean it?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for five months - he is 30 and I'm 29. We are moving in together in a couple of weeks which seems fast but we both want to and think its the right thing to happen and we get get along really well, sex life is great and ...
A. 23 February 2013: I think the word is less important than his actions. People say it at all different times in a relationship, some at the beginning (or even worse before they even meet), and some never say it.
If he treats you like he loves you then don't wo... (read in full...)
I think my guy is still hung up on his ex. There are too many rules about sex because of how he did things with her!
Q. I think my partner is still hung up on his ex. The reasons I think this are: 1) he won't kiss me properly (tongues are a definite no-no) as he says when he used to kiss her she wanted more than just kissing. I have assured him I am not the...
A. 23 February 2013: Hung up or not, this guy is nuts. I haven't heard such ridiculous crap in ages.
There is nothing you can do here, but he needs therapy. Personally I wouldn't have put up with this if I was you. Not for a minute. ... (read in full...)
Was a Bj the first night too soon? Do you think we have a chance at dating and him respecting me?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm 27 years old and a few weeks ago I met a man at a party. We hit it off right away and spent the entire night talking and drinking, he got tipsy and invited me to stay the night there with him but I laughed it off and offered ...
A. 23 February 2013: Guys don't care as much as most people think. The issue is that you have to switch this from a booty call thing into a relationship, which can be tricky.
Go out with him and don't sleep with him. Maybe give him a little tease or two about "the fut... (read in full...)
I really want a baby. I'm trying IVF. But have personal troubles with my new man, who is critical of me. Is it a cultural thing? What to do?
Q. I've been seeing this guy for three months, getting on really well. We both currently live in Thailand, working together and spending all our time together. Up until now it's been great. Feel very relaxed around each other and open about everythi...
A. 23 February 2013: I would like to answer your question with a question: why, if you're having this many problems and things are this complicated at only 3 months, are you bothering to continue this relationship?
I've never had problems at three months; since yo... (read in full...)
Did I ruin things? How can I get things back to the way we were at the start, flirting and saying nice things to me?
Q. Dating advice needed! Recently my school talent show was on and I took part in it! I became really close to this boy, the DJ, and I slowly started to love him. We got so close at the show and I was disappointed when it was over because I thought we ...
A. 23 February 2013: I'm guessing this was one of the first times something like this has happened to you. It's normal to feel like there is something wrong with you or that somehow you screwed things up. But the reality is that the two of you are just not compatible- ... (read in full...)
That are some good opening words to start a conversation with a girl?
Q. So I know their are a few threads out here, but I really need some help or steps I like a couple of girls at my school, and one girl was from my highschool who I'm fond of. I'm a short guy 5'3" and I have a Hispanic accent I've erased my Faceboo...
A. 22 February 2013: My brother in law is Guatemalan and about your height with an accent. He's had to learn that he may not be every woman's type, so you can't take rejection personally. He's had decent success with women because he's not intimidated by them. All races ... (read in full...)
Should my ex-sister in law and I start a real relationship?
Q. My wife and I split up a few years ago. We are still friends, there is no relationship. Recently after her mom passed away, I went to her mom's house to help ready the house for sale. Her brother and his wife showed up to help. The brother'...
A. 22 February 2013: First things first: this may be a sort of rebound thing for both of you, so I'd take things slowly.
Second, I don't see a big problem here. Her husband is a jerk and she needs to leave him; if you make that easier for her so be it. You may want... (read in full...)
She was his next Gf after he broke up with me. She and I have been talking. He has been violent with her too. Is it wrong to talk to her?
Q. Ok, bear with me please, as this will be a long question, but i really need help. I broke up with my boyfriend two years agp. We were together for a year and a half. He was violent and jealous. But i went back to him several times during these tw...
A. 22 February 2013: No it wasn't wrong, you have no reason to be loyal to an abusive ex. If he tries to call you don't answer! What would be the point of letting someone like that back into your life? ... (read in full...)
Is it really true? Once a cheater always a cheater?
Q. Can people be truly sorry for cheating and never go on to do it again? Or is it a case of once a cheater always a cheater? I've cheated in the past knew it was wrong and never done it again. My boyfriend of four years cheated in the b...
A. 22 February 2013: There are two types of cheaters: one who is selfish and values short term pleasure over the feelings of their loved ones, and the other who makes a mistake for whatever reason and genuinely regrets it and learned that cheating is not worth the pain ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend won't have sex because she is pregnant
Q. Hello every one. I've been dating this girl for 3 yrs now and things have been moving on well. just last year she got a new job and since them things has been going on funny. For the past 6months i've gone to bed with her just once and now she is ...
A. 22 February 2013: You need to have a talk with her and use your instincts to try and tell if she's lying. I'm finding it hard to believe that you're the father, but as long as the time line works out its possible.
When the baby comes you may find that they don... (read in full...)
I Proposed to My Pregnant Girlfriend, She Accepted!
Q. hi Aunts ahd Uncles... im the man who orginally posted about my pregnant girlfriend. the title was she posts everything on facebook. you all wanted me to come back and prove you wrong. well guess what? my baby BOY is due in june, i proposed to her ...
A. 22 February 2013: I went back and read everything from your original question... I don't see a lot of advice there that doesn't seem to be true, so what is it you're bragging about?
You may not like to hear things like what you did was wrong, she's just using yo... (read in full...)
I cheated and now my boyfriend wants concrete evidence that I won't cheat or go back to the other guy!
Q. I have been in a very stable relationship with my boyfriend and we were supposed to get married end of January.I did something horrible and i cheated on him a few weeks before we got married and now he wont take me back. The truth is i love my boyfr...
A. 21 February 2013: Do what YouWish says, it's really your only chance.
Let me rephrase that: there is no sure way to get him back. But begging, pleading, crying, reasoning, threatening, proving, WILL DEFINITELY NOT WORK. Your only chance is to follow her advice.... (read in full...)
To Contact Or Not To Contact. Dumped And It Was All My Fault.
Q. Hello! Thinking about breaking no contact by leaving chocolates at her door on vday. She broke up with me 2 weeks ago because I pestered her for a non committed relationship to test if she really loves me because before we started dating, she said ...
A. 21 February 2013: Oh my god, its so obvious she is done with you, love quotes or not. Her real life actions and words are not leaving any room for doubt.
I hope you come back here in a year and read all this. If you do and aren't embarrassed, then you really n... (read in full...)
My guy changed after he found out about my past. Is this emotional abuse?
Q. I met a guy last year and we had nearly been together a year. When I met this guy I was in a bad place in my life and he was the most amazing guy I had ever met. Always texting poems, sending photos, doing everything for me and giving me so much ...
A. 21 February 2013: The reason he's hot and cold is the same reason you are: people want to be accepted and loved. When they are rejected, even by a partner they may not have been that into, it can make them feel like they'd do anything to be with them. When they get ... (read in full...)
Six years since I saw her and now old crush is commenting on my face book?
Q. Probably one of the stupidest and ridiculous things to be writing on here about, but I'm just not thinking straight right now. Female friend I crushed on in high school. Never took a chance, I went to a college far, far away, and contacted her vi...
A. 21 February 2013: What's your question? If it's "What is she doing this for?" Maybe the answer is that she liked you too, or that she just read your message and she thought it was nice. It's hard to say.
What is stopping you from talking to her? ... (read in full...)
How do I get my daughter to open up and talk to me?
Q. How do you get your teen to open up and talk with you? My daughter is 15 and we have had on and off issues for few years so we are not as close as we used to be. Now I have suspicions she is sexually active but she is very shut down and seems ...
A. 21 February 2013: I remember feeling uncomfortable with talking about these kinds of things with my parents at that age. I'm not sure there's anything that could've changed that.
If you're worried about pregnancy and std's you need to just sit her down and in g... (read in full...)
Online woman is pinning all her hopes on me but we are not exclusive. Is it ok if I meet someone else to date till we meet?
Q. I been single over 12 months and joined a few dating sites. Have been chatting to a woman in the USA for about 2 weeks and we really get on. Because we get on she has now set her profile to 'private' so she can concentrate on me, and she has plans ...
A. 21 February 2013: I'm not clear on exactly how clear you've been with her. If she claims to understand that you're not waiting for her than you're doing nothing wrong.
I have to ask: what is the point in this type of relationship? If you go over it in your hea... (read in full...)
My drama with dating an actor
Q. Dear Cupid, My story is long but I'm really suffering.. I will start at the very beginning. In high school I had a crush on a boy Named Dakota. And I never got crushes. I had one boyfriend before this, But we broke up because I had fallen o...
A. 21 February 2013: I don't think he's being selfish, he's being realistic. You're essentially asking him to put his dreams on hold for you. THAT is being selfish.
He tried to compromise for you by not going after romantic roles. Unfortunately that didn't work out... (read in full...)
Since I found out about her history I'd like her to get tested
Q. Hello all! I come with a questions and concern. My girlfriend and I have been dating for a few months now and it's been great, I know I love her and I know I will spend the rest of my life with her. The problem is, I knew her back in grade sch...
A. 21 February 2013: Your opinion is the only one that matters when it comes to how many partners is too many.
And, don't forget, you can get an std your first time. Testing is ALWAYS a good idea.
I knew a girl who got herpes because a guy with herpes of the mo... (read in full...)
When he tried to break up with me I started crying so hard he started crying to and said he would stay but now he doesn't text or call like he used to.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three months now. Everything was okay before one of his ex girfriends decided that she wanted to "reconnect". From the actions he is showing he doesn't want her back but she has basically pushed him ...
A. 20 February 2013: It's hard to hurt someone you care about, as he found out when he tried breaking up with you. Although he may not have technically broken up with you, he basically did as evidenced by how little he's contacted you since.
The best thing for you ... (read in full...)
Advice for what to do with a cheater
Q. Okay, so my first girlfriend, I met through Facebook last summer. After a couple of months, she suddenly stopped texting and calling me. I thought either she was grounded or dumped me. Weekend following Christmas, she calls me up and says that she's ...
A. 20 February 2013: Text her "No thanks, I've got a girlfriend." ... (read in full...)
Do guys want to see a softer side to a girl?
Q. So for me personally I'm not very emotional. My close family (mom, dad and siblings) are the only ones that have seen me cry. I tend to not tell my feeling or share that part of me with others. This guy I am seeing has been pretty open with...
A. 20 February 2013: Trying to be something that you're not to attract a guy will usually not work. The key with dating is to find someone who likes you for you. ... (read in full...)
Husband's phone has a name as "buddy" who turns out is a girl! Should I be worried?
Q. So the other day while my husband was in the shower, he asked me to find a number in his cell phone (a friend of his that we were meeting later) and call him to confirm the time. When I was doing that, his recent call history showed up, and I ...
A. 20 February 2013: No offense OP, but you should stop spying on him. If he's earned your trust then you are being disrespectful by continuing; everyone deserves some privacy.
As SVC said, pregnancy does make you and your hormones a little crazy. Thank god a woman ... (read in full...)
My 15 year old son is running around with an older girl and wont come home!
Q. HI my fellow aunts/uncles were always so good at giving advice that sometimes it's hard to take. Now is that time I ask you for your input on my situation. For the past two years my son who is now 15 has giving me more than a run for my money....
A. 20 February 2013: I never suggested you didn't love him. I said you need to start TREATING him like you love him (in his eyes, not your own). And it's obvious that you're trying to control him so I can't even imagine how you'd dispute that. I'm not saying you don't ... (read in full...)
My 15 year old son is running around with an older girl and wont come home!
Q. HI my fellow aunts/uncles were always so good at giving advice that sometimes it's hard to take. Now is that time I ask you for your input on my situation. For the past two years my son who is now 15 has giving me more than a run for my money....
A. 20 February 2013: I'm sorry to hear the pain this is causing you, however I think you have to stop trying to control your son. He is pushing you away because you are forcing him to.
In the US this relationship would not be illegal since they are within 3 years of... (read in full...)
Is this a decent way to ask someone to prom? Too cheesy?
Q. Hey all, so I'm asking this girl to the prom within the next week, hopefully. I don't particularly know her all that great, so I'm kinda just winging it. I was going to go all out and spend a decent amount of money on it, or get something while it...
A. 20 February 2013: Sounds cheesy to me but It's possible I'm not in touch with the 18 year old girl demographic.
I remember that I found prom to be too cheesy at the time as well. What's wrong with asking her straight up? Is your thinking that you need to wow her ... (read in full...)
How to nicely tell my bf that his female friend needs to back off?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now. We've had some discussions about our friends of the opposite sex and how sometimes they make us uncomfortable. He told me this about one of my best guy friends, so I nicely told him to back off a ...
A. 19 February 2013: The only problem I see here is your insecurities and talking with guys behind his back. He's got nothing to hide so he's not hiding it.
Mandy suggests playing games which I don't recommend.
The right thing to do here is to accept it or lea... (read in full...)
I cheated and now my boyfriend wants concrete evidence that I won't cheat or go back to the other guy!
Q. I have been in a very stable relationship with my boyfriend and we were supposed to get married end of January.I did something horrible and i cheated on him a few weeks before we got married and now he wont take me back. The truth is i love my boyfr...
A. 19 February 2013: There's nothing you can give him that will prove what he's asking for. There is no magic words; you broke his heart and if he won't take you back so that your actions will prove you can be trusted, then there's not much else you can do about it.
... (read in full...)
Why do ladies not have any respect for men who treat them right?
Q. Ladies, you always complain about all the guys who mistreat you, so why then, do you always mistreat the guys that dont? Why dont you have any respect for guys unless they are bad to you?...
A. 19 February 2013: That's a myth. Women don't respect men who are timid, not confident, and who let themselves get taken advantage of.
Maybe you're going after the wrong girls. But a lot of guys at your age are nice to girls thinking that's how you get them to ... (read in full...)
No matter how much we talk about it, my boyfriend keeps making the same mistakes over and over again! I can' t take it!
Q. I'm not sure what to do in this situation. My fiance and I have been together 3 years. Currently, we're in an LDR, but that's only been for the past couple of months. I have a problem that he keeps making the same mistakes over and over again. I ...
A. 19 February 2013: I just said this to someone else: dating is about finding someone that you're compatible with. Not forcing someone to be compatible with you.
What that means is that you have a choice; live with it or leave him. Changing him is obviously not goin... (read in full...)
My boyfriend goes hours without contacting me but has time to play on xbox?
Q. Should I be pissed off that my boyfriend, of 2.5 years, goes hours on end without contacting me - yet within those hours will play on facebook and xbox? Example: he may text me at noon and then I won't hear back from him until like 10pm but he makes ...
A. 19 February 2013: I don't understand... Is he ignoring your texts? You make it sound as if he's supposed to be contacting you constantly otherwise he's treating you like second best.
Let him play the xbox without bugging him. If you don't like it find a boyfrien... (read in full...)
Girl I am dating does not know I am older than she thinks! HELP
Q. Ok, I met a wonderful woman online, and we really, really hit it off. She is 31, and I am 48. We want the same things. Neither of us have children and both want them, and believe in marriage, commitment etc. Very attracted to each other and both ...
A. 19 February 2013: You're already aware that she may walk away so that's a good place to start.
I'd just say, "look, I have something I need to tell you that I hope doesn't change things between us." then tell her what you said here about getting hit on by older la... (read in full...)
Husband's phone has a name as "buddy" who turns out is a girl! Should I be worried?
Q. So the other day while my husband was in the shower, he asked me to find a number in his cell phone (a friend of his that we were meeting later) and call him to confirm the time. When I was doing that, his recent call history showed up, and I ...
A. 19 February 2013: If you keep being secretive you're going to get buddy's wife pissed at him. I can see it now, she's been suspicious about the hang up, then you call again and say wrong number, so she just starts spying on her husband like you're doing.
Just ... (read in full...)
Husband's phone has a name as "buddy" who turns out is a girl! Should I be worried?
Q. So the other day while my husband was in the shower, he asked me to find a number in his cell phone (a friend of his that we were meeting later) and call him to confirm the time. When I was doing that, his recent call history showed up, and I ...
A. 19 February 2013: My guess is that he knows how nosy you are and hid it to avoid a situation like this. If it said "Jennifer" you would have probably asked him who the hell Jennifer is, right?
If he hasn't given you a reason not to trust him then in wouldn't... (read in full...)
To Contact Or Not To Contact. Dumped And It Was All My Fault.
Q. Hello! Thinking about breaking no contact by leaving chocolates at her door on vday. She broke up with me 2 weeks ago because I pestered her for a non committed relationship to test if she really loves me because before we started dating, she said ...
A. 18 February 2013: I'm sorry, but this is insane! You should be embarrassed with your behavior! When you look back you will be.
She has made it so obvious that she's not interested in your mistakes or apologies. I can't believe she replied to you; I think it has m... (read in full...)
To Contact Or Not To Contact. Dumped And It Was All My Fault.
Q. Hello! Thinking about breaking no contact by leaving chocolates at her door on vday. She broke up with me 2 weeks ago because I pestered her for a non committed relationship to test if she really loves me because before we started dating, she said ...
A. 16 February 2013: Since everyone here has said "leave her alone" and that goes in one ear and out the other, why don't you do it your way and see how that ends up?
Just be sure to report back, maybe we could learn something new. ... (read in full...)
To Contact Or Not To Contact. Dumped And It Was All My Fault.
Q. Hello! Thinking about breaking no contact by leaving chocolates at her door on vday. She broke up with me 2 weeks ago because I pestered her for a non committed relationship to test if she really loves me because before we started dating, she said ...
A. 15 February 2013: Chocolates: creepy and inappropriate.
No contact: better.
Accept that the relationship is over and move on: priceless. ... (read in full...)
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