The first guy knew the other guy. Did I do the right thing by telling the truth?
Q. So I went out with this guy on a date, and go figure one of co-workers and I slept together, before even started talking with the guy I went on the date on. He asked me if I knew him since he had seen we were friends on facebook and I told him the ...
A. 2 June 2013: It probably would have been a better idea to say it without giving so much info. You don't know guys as well as you think you do: we don't always have to announce that we slept with someone. You also made the mistake of letting him know that you're ... (read in full...)
How to trust my boyfriend again after he cheated with his ex a year ago?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 20 months now. I honestly believe he wholeheartedly loves me and only me now. However, we may have met at a not so good time, he just broke up with his first gf of 5 years for 3 months. We were also not so seri...
A. 2 June 2013: Time. Forcing yourself to trust him is counterintuitive because when he's earned your trust, you'll trust him.
Trying to make it happen any sooner is only fooling yourself. ... (read in full...)
Every time I tell him of my feelings for him he stops contacting me
Q. I am 34 year old woman, been single for 5yrs. Mainly it is because of trust issue. Well last year I find my self attractive to a young man at my job (he is 26). We became good friends but I never told him that I had a crush or had feeling for him ...
A. 2 June 2013: I agree: he heard you the first time. If he was interested he'd be interested and repeating yourself is just making the situation worse.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: confessing your feelings is a very poor way to try and make a r... (read in full...)
The light switch relationship--now she's pregnant with someone else's baby and I don't want kids!
Q. ok so. i got this on again off again relationship for about the last couple years. shes 20 im 23. seems every time we have a drink together we end up in the sack together. shes always telling me im the sweetest guy she knows. and stuff like that. i ...
A. 30 May 2013: She made her bed and now she gets to sleep in it. Don't feel guilty, your reasons are very sound. ... (read in full...)
Fiance walked out on me while pregnant, I found out he's living with his ex. He wants me back but I can't get over the hurt!
Q. he walked away without a word and left town when I was pregnant. two days later said he left to give me space. I was hurt so I didn't allow him to come right back. then I had the baby he said he was so sorry about hurting me the way he did by ...
A. 30 May 2013: I hate to tell you this, but if he got you pregnant, it's likely he also gave you HPV. If not, there is a vaccine.
Regarding your fiance: I would be VERY cautious about taking him back. It's likely that you're his second choice and he just doe... (read in full...)
The thought of sex with just anyone makes me physically ill. Am I the only one out there like this? Will I ever meet anyone?
Q. I am 21 years old and never had a boyfriend or sexual contact or anything. Yeah, I've had self esteem issues. But realistically, I've never even ever met anyone in real life that I had any feelings for. I never met anyone that I was attracted to. ...
A. 30 May 2013: You're not the only one who feels this way. Basically you need to do what makes you happy. For some people that's being alone forever. For others that's finding someone who doesn't want sex but wants a relationship. Then there's the people who need ... (read in full...)
I want a relationship with him, but I don't know if he feels the same and I don't know how to bring it up in conversation. How do I find out how he feels?
Q. I have become really close to a guy who is 2 years older than me (I am 18, he is 20) It started in the new year when we were walking home with a couple of friends from the pub and we were walking in front of everyone else as he had offered to walk ...
A. 30 May 2013: In general you shouldn't ASK for a relationship, you should CREATE one. You can ask for a commitment if you feel it's necessary, but not a relationship.
Spend more time with him. Do special things. Develop the relationship you want and you can ... (read in full...)
Is it selfish to be a bit upset that my freshly-out gay friend will never feel for me what I feel for him?
Q. I've always considered myself pan-sexual. I only fall for special people, regardless of gender. I can only fall for personality and not sex, and never people I haven't known for a while. I have a really good friend, whom I've been infatuated with ...
A. 29 May 2013: Well, not to get all technical on you, but it is selfish by definition. That doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong or being a bad person. It's perfectly okay to be selfish sometimes, after all, if you don't look out for your own needs who will? ... (read in full...)
Fiance had feelings for old school friend, how should I have handled this
Q. I am a 23 year old woman, and am about to get married to my fiance, but I have an issue. He has some feelings for a girl he used to go to school with, and I let my insecurity get the better of me and caused this girl a situation where I humiliated ...
A. 29 May 2013: I wouldn't get married, as neither of you are ready. Marriage will not fix a broken relationship, trust me, it'll make it worse.
If you want an opinion on your behavior, here it is. What you did was out of line. On the little info you had abou... (read in full...)
I want to hurt my husband with words the way that he hurts me!
Q. My husband always says harsh words to me which make me feel worthless and they stay in my mind for a long time. He says words which belittle me and make me feel worthless. Anytime I give an opinion or request he jus turns it down so harshly. When he ...
A. 29 May 2013: If he's anything like me there isn't much you could say, because I don't let someone else dictate my self worth.
That being said I do get angry when people try to. So the best thing you could do is try and fix the problem instead of making i... (read in full...)
Help!!! Am I being irrational?
Q. Hello:) Recently I've been having some problems in my relationship. It started when I started to feel a bit taken for granted, all me and my boyfriend did was sit in at mine or his, and then go out with friends, which I love doing... But sometime...
A. 28 May 2013: I don't know about the other girl, but he is definitely taking you for granted. A relationship is like a living thing: it needs fuel to survive and grow. Things such as flowers, little gifts, romantic gestures, dates, etc, help your love to grow. ... (read in full...)
Is he pushing me away?/ I know he is pushing me away. How do I go about this?
Q. Hi, I am getting the feeling my boyfriend is distancing himself from me. We are in a long distance relationship (different continents), UK and Canada. So we already couldn't be more farther apart. I just came back to canada for uni for summe...
A. 28 May 2013: From a distance there isn't much you can do... pulling away is about it. If he notices you slipping away he may realize he's taking you for granted. At the same time, what if it doesn't change anything?
You may have strong feelings for him, but... (read in full...)
I'm hurt that he didn't wish me well or say he was sorry for how things turned out
Q. I was seeing someone on/off for 3 years. He got divorced about 10 months ago. Seemed interested at first, but then we had a disagreement. He then back tracked ever since. Which was 7 months ago. He insisted he didn't want to be in a relationship. ...
A. 28 May 2013: In fairness you deleted him. That's pretty close to blocking. So the only difference here is that he didn't reply to your text. ... (read in full...)
I feel awful feeling this way but I am not at all interested in my boyfriend's step daughter!
Q. Ive been in a relationship for the past 8 months with someone that makes me very happy. However he has a step-child from a past relationship that he is very close to as treats as his own daughter and Ive never been with someone who has a kid and Im ...
A. 27 May 2013: Don't dump him over this. It's pretty normal to feel this way but there are books that can help. My sister in law felt the same way and she's now more into her step daughter.
One thing you shouldn't do is nothing. Don't stay with him and pretend.... (read in full...)
My gf is never interested in sex and I am starting to miss my ex. How should I deal with this?
Q. My girlfriend seems to never be interested in sex. We've been together for eight months now and only had sex TWICE, two months ago. It's getting to the point where I can't handle the frustration anymore. I take her out, I buy her gifts, flowers, ...
A. 27 May 2013: She probably just doesn't like sex. Not just with you, but in general. Dump her and stop answering her phone calls. ... (read in full...)
I thought I was gay but now I'm confused!
Q. Hi:) i'm 16 and I'm extremely unsure about my sexuality. Ive been certain since I was 13 that I was 110% gay. But recently I've been questioning it. I've never had a full on crush on a guy before and I have these weird dreams that indicate that I am ...
A. 27 May 2013: It really doesn't matter what your sexual orientation is unless you're filling out a form. What matters is that you explore it and discover who you really are. If you find a girl attractive and she feels the same, see where it goes; same thing with ... (read in full...)
I am so happy with my boyfriend, but his roomate/ex/best friend hates me!
Q. Hi guys! The people on this site have helped me loads in the past and I'm hoping you can help me again with your advice. I got out of a very bad LTR last year which started when I was very young, for almost 4 years I was cheated on and manipulat...
A. 27 May 2013: This is easy: stop giving a crap about what she does or thinks. Stop trying to please her or buy her friendship.
Yes she seems jealous and I don't know why he puts up with it either, but that's something you should talk with him about. ... (read in full...)
Does the father of my child want me to chase him?
Q. My boyfriend of two years who is now the father of my child will not live with me. He says I've kicked him out too many times in the past for him to just leave his stable home with his two friends and move back in.. I told him I didn't want anything ...
A. 27 May 2013: It sounds like he's thinking he can't deal with you anymore. His reasoning seems solid to me; he's learned that the two of you don't work well together when you live in the same home, so to avoid what he knows will eventually happen (you kicking him ... (read in full...)
Is he pushing me away?/ I know he is pushing me away. How do I go about this?
Q. Hi, I am getting the feeling my boyfriend is distancing himself from me. We are in a long distance relationship (different continents), UK and Canada. So we already couldn't be more farther apart. I just came back to canada for uni for summe...
A. 27 May 2013: Why are you wasting your time in this "relationship"? What are you getting out of it that you couldn't from a local relationship?
The bottom line is that you're not the problem, your ridiculously long distance relationship is. It's just not the ... (read in full...)
After a fight and make up, girlfriend says no sex. We are going on a holiday and no sex???
Q. Hi AA's This question is long winded so apologies. Ive been going out with a girl for 4 years now, in reality she is very insecure but also has to have her own way as she believes what she wants is the right thing and dosnt see outside the bo...
A. 27 May 2013: Yes, putting on the charm and romance will make the panties drop, but if I was you I'd be questioning your relationship. Why not find someone who is a little better for you? ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is controlling and I don't know what to do.
Q. Thanks for all responses. Much thanks. This is a long complicated story so bare with me. My girlfriend and I have been going out for 4 years now. It has been kind of a decrescendo it seems. She was brought up without a Dad and her Mom taught her t...
A. 26 May 2013: Time to walk away and never look back. Tell her that you really care about her but you aren't happy with the way she treats you and there's nothing she can do to fix that, you're just not right for each other.
I would never recommend putting ... (read in full...)
Am I dating someone too young for me?
Q. I'm a 26 year old mature student and I recently began seeing another student who is 18 about to turn 19, it took me a while to go on a date with this guy cause of the age difference but we get on really well, however I am still really worried about ...
A. 26 May 2013: Why are YOU making it out to be a big deal? I doubt people were looking at you like you were doing anything wrong, that's probably your anxiety about the situation that's making you feel that way.
It's really not a big age gap, certainly not one ... (read in full...)
It's hard for me to move on. What are the chances that she'll come back a second time? I think she might miss me.
Q. Am totally confused. I have been in this relationship now for four years. This January my girlfriend left me for another guy, I later got to find out, and she slammed these words on my face in the presence of her friends that 'she's no more ...
A. 26 May 2013: I think the question really needs to be "SHOULD you" not "CAN you".
You have a lot of unhealthy associations with her and your grief. Not to mention you guys have too volatile a relationship. Find someone who you have no history with and who you ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend cheating or am I just being paranoid, please help my hearts breaking
Q. Hi, Well this is abit mad but I need some advise, Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 8 months now and I cant help it but I just keep thinking hes cheating on me since one day he was at work and called me and said he has to go back to ...
A. 26 May 2013: I'm finding your story a bit confusing, but I want to say that you need to stop treating your boyfriend like he's cheating. Deleting a number out of his phone is ridiculous and something you have no right to do.
Some of his behavior does seem a l... (read in full...)
What can I say? Now the way she talks, it's like she thinks we are together again, but I'm over her.
Q. Hi cupid I am ashamed of myself. Last night, I ended up sleeping with my ex. She called me crying a lot as her brother was hit by a car in Australia. I helped her over the phone and she was crying so much that I went to her place. After she cal...
A. 26 May 2013: There's no reason to pretend. You never mislead her so you don't need to feel guilty unless you don't be honest with her and tell her that the two of you broke up for a reason and you don't think bit makes any sense to start seeing each other again. ... (read in full...)
Should I tolerate this kind of behavior from my boyfriend?
Q. Last night I went to a bar with my boyfriend, we went to order the drinks and the bartender was an old man. After that we sat in a table and were talking, all of a sudden my boyfriend started saying bad things to me, he said i was a bitch and go ...
A. 25 May 2013: It sounds like you're walking down a path that leads to more abuse, emotional for sure, and maybe even physical. There are some things you can tolerate for love; abuse is not one of them. ... (read in full...)
Is it pathetic if I feel that love is around the corner given that no one has shown interest in me for 3 months?
Q. Okay.. So, I broke up with my boyfriend 3 months ago. It was a friendly break up, we realised a long distance relationship wouldn't work and I have absolutely no romantic feelings towards him. But, somehow, after him, literally no one has shown any ...
A. 24 May 2013: I'm not a woman, but I don't think three months is a long enough time to start feeling like there is something wrong here, and feeling like "love is just around the corner" is fine, it just means you're being optimistic. ... (read in full...)
My wife got pregnant by her lover and had a secret abortion!
Q. This is difficult but I will just say it. My wife had an affair with a person I considered my friend and got pregnant. She made arrangements with her lover (also married) and had a secret abortion one year ago. We have been married for 6 years and ...
A. 24 May 2013: I wouldn't be able to ever forgive my wife if she did that. It's one thing to make a mistake, but it sounds like she had another relationship on the side. The fact that she didn't even bother to use protection would make it worse for me.
You'r... (read in full...)
How can I tactfully reject him?
Q. Hello, First off thank you in advance for taking the time to read and offer advice :) I have a FRIEND that insists on hanging out with me and stuff. He invited me to a wedding in Washington state, he calls me "sexy", "Pretty lady" and things...
A. 24 May 2013: Yeah, I agree, the games are very immature. There's no need to go out of your way to hurt his feelings, but coming out and telling him that you're not interested is perfectly acceptable and a grown man should be able to handle it.
It's not as i... (read in full...)
He wants to get married and have children and I'm not sure yet. Do I stay and have kids or do I let him go?
Q. I have been together with a guy for two years. We live together and for the most part, things are fine. We come from different cultures and are quite different as people, but we get on well in many respects. I'm happy enough with him but he doesn't ...
A. 23 May 2013: 32 is when the risk of complications and birth defects start going up relatively quickly. That doesn't mean you can't have babies after that. Here in Seattle, people are having kids later and later. ... (read in full...)
Why does my ex want nothing to do with me?
Q. My ex broke up with me 7 months ago and has maintained no contact since then. I have always loved him and a part of me still does, and I accept that he does not want to be with me anymore, but why doesn't he at least want to be friends with me? I...
A. 23 May 2013: It's probably more complicated than anyone but him could know, but sometimes people just want to move on from the past. Don't take it personal, it's not about you, its about him. ... (read in full...)
Broke up a month ago. Does he still love me? He said his "real friends" are stopping him from dating me again.
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend around a month ago. we've dated for 2 and a half years, though i was the one who suggested a break up, i miss him so much, and i actually want him back. The reason why, i suggested a break up was because we always h...
A. 22 May 2013: Advice won't work here, you're going to do what you want, which is fine. It'll be a lesson you have to learn by yourself.
That lesson will be that you have to be compatible with someone to have a decent relationship. It doesn't mean you have to ... (read in full...)
He said my friend is a bit more beautiful than I am, is it ok for him to say this?
Q. I was with my boyfriend and we were talking,in the course of that i talked about my girlfriend and asked him if we look alike,he said yes that i and my girlfriend look alike but its just that she is a bit more beautiful than i am....is it okay that ...
A. 22 May 2013: It's okay, it's just insensitive. If that's okay with you, so be it. Really, he was just being honest and it made you feel insecure. It's not the end of the world and has nothing to do with love. ... (read in full...)
Should I go for it or not? Is he into me?
Q. Last October I got to know this guy on a night out (found out we had stuff in common, are on the same course, same uni etc) nothing happened that night but he emailed me on Facebook about timetables got talking and he gave me his number. We w...
A. 22 May 2013: What in the world are you afraid of? You don't have anything to lose, so do what you need to do to get the results you want. ... (read in full...)
He wants to get married and have children and I'm not sure yet. Do I stay and have kids or do I let him go?
Q. I have been together with a guy for two years. We live together and for the most part, things are fine. We come from different cultures and are quite different as people, but we get on well in many respects. I'm happy enough with him but he doesn't ...
A. 22 May 2013: No, I don't think anyone should ever get married under the circumstances you described. I'd let him go find someone who's into him a little more and do the same for yourself. ... (read in full...)
We had a LDR. We broke up. How could he do this after he gave me his commitment?
Q. I broke up with my bf last month because we were in a LDR and he drifted apart. He never contacted me after the breakup. Just few days ago he sent me a text asked if I called him from an unknown number. If so just call from my normal number s...
A. 22 May 2013: If this was a typical no contact (or little contact) LDR relationship, then he didn't care because those relationships aren't a real relationship. People need face to face contact unless they have some sort of social disorder. ... (read in full...)
Distressing personal comments from my Gf :( I have told her that these comments, or jokes, are making me insecure. How do I respond when she says it's just a joke?
Q. I have been dating my lovely girlfriend for 2 year now. We recently began having sex, both our first times. I am just above average in penis length according to many quoted sites. However she has made a few comments that have seriously den...
A. 22 May 2013: Time to trade up. She's not joking. And while she has the right to want what she wants, every person on earth knows how sensitive men are about their penis size. She's just a bit$h. ... (read in full...)
How do I warn my friend about my former FWB without reliving my story?
Q. Dear cupid I was in FWB for around 3 years on and off. He was my collegue at work and I was in love with him. Long story short he was very abusive towards the end and dumped me a month ago. We see each other at work, he carries on as if I don't ex...
A. 22 May 2013: I'm sure this is a sensitive subject, so I hope this doesn't come off as being a little cold, but in my opinion your experience is irrelevant in this case.
You claim you had a FWB relationship with this guy, yet you say you were in love. So right... (read in full...)
He told me he's not thinking of marriage yet! Am I wrong to be disappointed?
Q. Hi im with a ldr now with my boyfriend and we been 3 years knew each other via skype and call. And always visiting me here every year, despite of the distance he always make effort to see me. He lives in Slovakia and i lived in Singapore and im ...
A. 22 May 2013: Anybody that would commit to marrying someone (even if it's not a strong commitment) that they've only met in person a handful of times is asking for trouble. Your boyfriend is more mature and understands this. You are still learning these things, ... (read in full...)
He wants a break after 3 months, he's not sure when he'll be ready to start dating me again. What should I do?
Q. I met a guy online around 3 months ago. I wasn't initially into him but I liked him so I decided to give it a go. He runs his own startup business therefore we had an understanding from the off that we'd only see each other infrequently. He'd had ...
A. 22 May 2013: He's probably going to break up with you so treat it as a breakup. 3 months is way too short to need a break. Things should be amazing at this point.
I think that the best thing to do is to cease all contact with him. It'll help you to get over... (read in full...)
She's pregnant with the other guy's child, says she doesn't want him anymore but then why does she still have his photos, help!
Q. Please help me i had been dating for 9years with my girlfriend, I find out she was seeing someone else then i move out of our apartment i still love her a lot we even have a child together i find out she is pregnant with that guys child she told she ...
A. 21 May 2013: What it may mean is that HE doesn't want HER, not the other way around.
Don't think about staying with her unless the two of you go to counseling. She had a second relationship- this was no one time mistake and she knew exactly what she was doin... (read in full...)
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