I've seen her on online dating sites but she won't admit it
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for just over 18 months. Recently I have found her 3 times on dating sites. We have argued and almost broken up over it. Even though I saw it with my own eyes, she is still denying it. Is it just a bit of a joke? or ...
A. 7 September 2013: I think people are asking because their answer could go two ways depending on whether or not you met on one of these websites. If you had it'd be possible she just hadn't taken her profile down. ... (read in full...)
He goes to strip clubs and told me I'm not as sexually attractive to him as I was 14 years and 2 of our children ago!
Q. I don’t know what to do anymore. I have been married for 10 years to my husband, we dated for about 2 years before that and we have two children together ( almost 8 and 4 years old) (he also has two from a previous marriage). I just recently found ...
A. 7 September 2013: I'm not saying you should do all that. I certainly wouldn't if I was you. But many women do, if not for their husband they do it for themselves. The bonus is that your husband will probably love it and treat you like he should be treating you now. ... (read in full...)
Did he end things because he has found someone else?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up about a week ago. He said he needed space and personal time. He asked me to take his things that he had left at my house because we lived together I took his things to him he told me that we both just needed time for our ...
A. 7 September 2013: When someone asks for space it can make you feel like you can't give them any or they'll leave. But the truth is if you don't give him space he's gone for sure. Just leave him alone and try to move on with your life. ... (read in full...)
She doesn't seem to like me now shes single??
Q. there is this girl that I fancied for a while but I never did anything as she had a long term boyfriend. Despite this she always seems flirty with me always gigling and smiling when she spoke to me, always touching me as she walked past. Always ...
A. 7 September 2013: I'd guess she liked flirting with you when the two of you hooking up wasn't an option. But now that it is she may feel she needs to be a little cold so you don't get any ideas. ... (read in full...)
After six years my ex wants to meet up. I'm not feeling too good about this!
Q. My partner of 17 years left me for another guy six years ago. During this period she got married and divorced. She has recently contacted me via email saying that she is still in love with and regrets hurting. She wanted to communicate and either ...
A. 7 September 2013: If I was you I'd stay away. She is just lonely and she'll probably do the same thing when someone else comes along. It may be tempting to try it again, and under different circumstances I might suggest you to, but not in this situation.
She m... (read in full...)
Is this a form of verbal abuse or am I being overeactive?
Q. So, I was discussing with my boyfriend how a woman got rescued from being kidnapped. I then proceeded to make a comment that one always needs to be aware of ones surroundings. My boyfriend turned to me and said "No one would kidnap you." I ...
A. 7 September 2013: Sounds like it was just a joke to me. I'm not sure why you'd suggest verbal abuse even if it hurt your feelings. ... (read in full...)
Going to spend two weeks with my LDR -- what will we talk about?
Q. Hi there I have been in a long distance relationship with a wonderful woman for two years now. We've only managed to spend three individual weeks together within that time period, although each and every single one of those weeks were like magic....
A. 7 September 2013: Why don't you see how you get along (don't pre plan conversation) and towards the end, if all goes well, talk about how you're going to convert this relationship into a local (non ldr) relationship.
What's the point of a permanent LDR? ... (read in full...)
I've seen her on online dating sites but she won't admit it
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for just over 18 months. Recently I have found her 3 times on dating sites. We have argued and almost broken up over it. Even though I saw it with my own eyes, she is still denying it. Is it just a bit of a joke? or ...
A. 7 September 2013: Why are you putting up with this behavior? So, she didn't answer you (and whatever she would have said would probably be bs), respond by leaving her. If you stay with her you're condoning her behavior.
Or, you can stay with her and accept t... (read in full...)
Boyfriend broke things off and says he needs person time. How much time does he need?
Q. My boyfriend and i broke up saturday due to me bitching, complaining and naging about everything every day we lived together but he ended up moving out and staying with his friend. he keeps saying over and over that he needs time for his self, i ...
A. 6 September 2013: Wow, you managed to make it perfectly clear why he left you in only one paragraph.
First of all, you should just leave him alone. He's never going to want you back if you're constantly reminding him why he left you.
Second, you need to stop... (read in full...)
Why would he ask me if I would be a good girl while he's gone out of the country?
Q. What does it mean when your man goes away on a trip and asks you if you will be a good girl while he is away? Is he worried I will fool around while he is gone? Is he trying to make sure I don't? What do you all think?...
A. 6 September 2013: If I said that I'd be half joking. Part of me would be honestly saying "don't mess around on me."... (read in full...)
Should I ask my girlfriend if she enjoys sex?
Q. Lately after sex with my girlfriend i have been asking her if she enjoyed it or if she had fun. Is this bad? And i don't know why i started asking her that. Maybe i feel like she does not enjoy it? By me asking would that make her less attracted to ...
A. 6 September 2013: What's the point? She's going to tell you that it was good even if it was bad. What you should really do is pay attention to her and see how she reacts while you're having sex.
Try new things and see what she likes, every girl is differen... (read in full...)
Why do I make women bleed?
Q. Hello, the past 2 girls I have had sex with have bled after the intercourse was over while they weren't on their period. It didnt happen everytime we had sex but it did happen the 2nd or 3rd time. This has also happened a few times in the past and ...
A. 6 September 2013: Lube. ... (read in full...)
He goes to strip clubs and told me I'm not as sexually attractive to him as I was 14 years and 2 of our children ago!
Q. I don’t know what to do anymore. I have been married for 10 years to my husband, we dated for about 2 years before that and we have two children together ( almost 8 and 4 years old) (he also has two from a previous marriage). I just recently found ...
A. 6 September 2013: I think you need to continue working out, but you may need to do it more (5 days a week, minimum 30 minutes cardio and some light weightlifting). Stop eating processed foods, even so called "lo carb/light/weight loss" stuff. Also, work on changing ... (read in full...)
He goes to strip clubs and told me I'm not as sexually attractive to him as I was 14 years and 2 of our children ago!
Q. I don’t know what to do anymore. I have been married for 10 years to my husband, we dated for about 2 years before that and we have two children together ( almost 8 and 4 years old) (he also has two from a previous marriage). I just recently found ...
A. 6 September 2013: I think you need to continue working out, but you may need to do it more (5 days a week, minimum 30 minutes cardio and some light weightlifting). Stop eating processed foods, even so called "lo carb/light/weight loss" stuff. Also, work on changing ... (read in full...)
Everything is happening to other couples but us! My boyfriend has trouble committing!
Q. Does anyone feel lile their life isnt moving forward ( in their relationship)? And everyone else keeps getting the things you want? Ive been with my bf for over 4 years. There arnt any plans for marriage or children. Heck we dont even live togeth...
A. 6 September 2013: If this type of behavior is driving you crazy now, imagine being married to him.
He lives with his parents and doesn't spend very much time with you, and can't commit to dinner, let alone a future with you.
Trust me when I say that love doesn'... (read in full...)
Should you change who you are just to impress a guy?
Q. My friend complains that she doesn't have a boyfriend, but when guys ask her out, she says no. She really likes this one guy, but she only seems interested in him when he is dating someone. Then if he asks her out, she turns him down. She changed ...
A. 6 September 2013: Hell no! You can only keep up the lie for so long, at which point the relationship will fall apart. ... (read in full...)
He was silent after we had sex, I'm scared it was bad!
Q. am little worried i started seeing this guy and when we first had sex he was just silent he only kissed my forhead and we slept..am scared maybe it was bad or what waa running through his mind..but he does call after that we still talk.should i be ...
A. 6 September 2013: Maybe he's not much of a talker. If you didn't just lay there the whole time and not participate then I'm sure it was fine. ... (read in full...)
His wife refused to exit the picture, I broke up with him but wonder if I did the right thing?
Q. Until recently I was in a relationship with a guy who is 11 year's older then me. He had been married before, but the relationship ended when his wife had an affair. We met when we were both out on new year's eve. (His friend knew one of my ...
A. 6 September 2013: Part of me wants to say you did the right thing, but the "refuse to lose" side of me hates that his psycho wife won.
As a man I'd just kick the other guy's butt, I don't know what women do in this situation, but since you really like him and you ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to become more masculine!
Q. I'm struggling with my masculinity. I don't feel like I will ever be a "real man". First of I'm short(5'3"/163cm). I've gotten over being unattractive due to my height but I'm struggling with not being considered a man. I don't have an aggressive ...
A. 6 September 2013: You may not be interested in getting buff, but you could probably benefit from lifting weights. Aside from being good for you its good for your confidence.
Maybe you should try some fighting classes, such as karate, kung fu, muy Thai, or ju jitsu... (read in full...)
How can I tell if she is having an orgasm or not?
Q. I don't know when my girlfriend orgasms. right now all i can do is trust her but i would like to know if she orgasms for real or if she is faking it. When she tells me she orgasms i can't feel her contracting even if i use my fingers. only until ...
A. 5 September 2013: This is a ridiculous question... Did you pressure her into feeling like she'd better be having orgasms or you were going to pout about it? If so she's probably faking it which is what you'd deserve. When a girl's not having an orgasm, work on your ... (read in full...)
How do you stop searching for love when you so badly want it to find you?
Q. People always say don't search for love and you'll find it but how can I stop searching? In the back of my mind I'm always expecting to meet someone, especially at weddings or public events. Im27 and have been single all my life. I know what I want ...
A. 5 September 2013: Denise32 is right. I don't know how, but you've got to tone it down or you're going to scare off every guy you meet. Desperation is very unattractive and borderline scary for guys.
"Letting it happen" also doesn't mean don't make an effort t... (read in full...)
Why am I so obsessed with the chase?
Q. Hello. I really struggle when knowing if I like a guy or not, and I was hoping you could give me some advice. I never know if I like the guy himself, or the idea of him. For example, if I tell myself I like a guy, I like him- but as soon as w...
A. 5 September 2013: Because you only want validation that you're worth a guy's time. You want approval, not a relationship. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants to go on holiday with his mate and 2 female friends... without me. Am I wrong to feel this is inappropriate?
Q. Hi, just a quick question as I am really in need of others' opinions. My boyfriend recently asked me how I would feel about him going on a holiday for a week with one of his male friends and two female friends. Is this inappropriate for someone in a ...
A. 4 September 2013: I would say that you are not overreacting based on the little info you gave. But things like how good of friends are they, how far are they going, etc, are very relevant.
I think there are circumstances where it would be perfectly acceptab... (read in full...)
Pushing me away, pushing me back..what is up with her?
Q. This is my story, im a 36M with no kids and she is a 37F with 2 kids. We've meet 1 and half year ago and immediately *clicked*. We've spent hours daily at the phone speaking of everything and nothing. Lack of sleep or 3 to 4 hours sleep tops becam...
A. 4 September 2013: It's time to move on. You don't need her friendship, you don't need her kids. What you want is something she's not willing to give you. I'd say one last goodbye to her and the kids then go no contact. That's the only good way to do it...
I was... (read in full...)
Happily married men: when did you know you wanted your wife to be your wife?
Q. Question for the happily married men out there : when did you know your wife was "the one?". Did she have to push you to take the next step - or did you ask her? (whether it be moving in, marriage, or baby) I brought up the "next step" (moving ...
A. 4 September 2013: I think seven months is sooner than I'd be comfortable except under certain circumstances. You may think you know someone that soon, but in reality you're still in the honeymoon phase and moving in together is a good way to mess things up at that ... (read in full...)
Why is my height so unattractive?
Q. I have been rejected by hundreds of girls offline and thousands of girls online and have lost heart and all sense of my 'physical' self-esteem. It is very difficult to remain confident after that. My track record keeps me from trying now as I have ...
A. 4 September 2013: Anybody who ever said their height stops them from getting women is just trying to make excuses or find an easy way out. Yes, its considered more attractive to be on the tall side, but that doesn't mean NO woman would want you. If you've been ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend takes me forgranted! It needs to stop!
Q. I have recently moved in with my boyfriend and lately I have been feeling like he doesn't consider my feelings at all, he just takes me for granted. For example, at the weekend he will make all kinds of plans, expecting me to join him in all of t...
A. 3 September 2013: Invent a mind reading app for his cell phone. If you can't do that you'll have to talk with him.
Here's the important thing: think about everything you want to say, then tell him that you feel sad and lonely and like he doesn't care about yo... (read in full...)
Rhetorical question: is this true love?
Q. Imagine a situation: An average-looking guy meets a girl that suffers from some light physical handicap (that also includes some dis-figuration like a scar on her face). Supposedly, the girl does not get any attention from other guys becaus...
A. 3 September 2013: Just about everybody settles to some extent. My wife isn't my absolute perfect woman, but I love her very much. ... (read in full...)
How much abuse is too much? ( physical and emotional) How to move on after abusive relationships?
Q. I was with this man for two years. He was perfect the first eight months of us dating, I realized he started becoming mean. He would tell me awful things like I was stupid, bad at sex, or had an ugly vagina. He would break up with me, block me off ...
A. 3 September 2013: How much abuse is too much? One time. If a guy physically hurts you once you can be sure it's going to happen again and get worse.
Emotional abuse is similar, it will usually get worse, but I wouldn't leave the first time. Give the person a... (read in full...)
Should I tell my wife that I have a disire to continue being with guys or should I just do it and see what her reaction is?
Q. I have been crossdressing for a few years. My wife both supports and helps me with this. We do go out together while I am dressed up. She gets a kick out of watching guys hit on me. A few weeks ago while at a club I hung out with a guy for an hour ...
A. 3 September 2013: Talk to her even include her if the two of you would be into that. DON'T be a jerk and cheat on someone who has been so open minded with you thus far. ... (read in full...)
He's moved back in with an ex and says he needs to spend days or weeks without me so he can miss me. Huh?
Q. A man and woman have been living together on and off for four years; the man moved out a year ago, however they have maintained contact and have stated they both want to work on the relationship and renew it.. the man had no place to go (he has no ...
A. 3 September 2013: Leave him alone, find someone who gives you what you want. ... (read in full...)
How do you get over the one that first broke your heart?
Q. I have been asking this question to myself, over and over for a long time now. When I think I found an answer, something else comes up and places me back where I do not want to be. We were together for 10 years. We were going to be married....
A. 2 September 2013: Therapy. ... (read in full...)
I think I am straight but hate that I am emotionally attracted to men also.
Q. I wrote in originally at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-am-a-male-and-hate-that-i.html but I'll clear up a few things for you to make it more specific: I'm emotionally and sexually attracted to women - normally, anyway, have dated women al...
A. 2 September 2013: Well, it's not at all unnatural, in fact it's actually a lot more common than you would think. You just don't hear about it because there's no reason for people like you to expose themselves. But many of my closest friends have admitted that they ... (read in full...)
I feel so betrayed when my boyfriend masturbates
Q. I feel so betrayed when my boyfriend masturbates. Here recently he's been looking at porn just bout everyday even with me being in the same house/next room. I have very low self esteem and I feel like he doesn't want me anymore and when we do have ...
A. 2 September 2013: Although he's certainly not guilt free, I believe that your problem is mostly with yourself. You seem to be convinced that porn means he's not satisfied with you, but that's not the case.
Also, he's not watching porn wishing you looked like a p... (read in full...)
Text, secrets, maybe lies?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for almost a year and we've been living together for six months. We came together very passionately and have spent our time together whenever possible, almost to the exclusion of other friends. I encouraged her t...
A. 2 September 2013: You're dating a girl with trust issues. Because she thinks you are going to cheat, she's surrounding herself with guys that want to sleep with her to "protect" herself. So, if she's not cheating now (no offense, but "she would never do that" is not ... (read in full...)
How much will it cost per month to have a girlfriend? Outings,gas, gifts, clothes? I need to factor the cost into my budget
Q. How much does a girlfriend cost per month? Do not bother replying if you say "priceless" or "too much" as those sayings are far too old and a scapegoat. Women, don't bother replying with bs that you are free, and don't tell me that you always pay ...
A. 2 September 2013: A homeless girlfriend will run you about $17 a month, but that's after the panhandling adjustment.
An average woman will cost you anywhere from $50/mo for the McDonald's treatment to $300/mo for the deluxe treatment.
A wealthy or spoil... (read in full...)
I think I have a physical sexual problem but don't want to tell my mom! What should I do?
Q. I don't know if I should be asking for this kind of advice on here or not but I don't know where to go with it. I'm shy and don't want to speak to/show my mum, but I have a problem with my vagina, i don't know how to explain the problem and i am not ...
A. 2 September 2013: Maybe you should send the tumblr website an anonymous picture. I'm sure it's nothing but it would save you the potential embarrassment of having to show someone in person.
Unfortunately for women there seems to be so much variation in what vag... (read in full...)
My ex says he wants me back, I love him but I'm afraid he'd hurt me again. How do I move on?
Q. My ex called after 4 months of break up. He dumped me and was very mean when he broke up with me. He said he misses me and still loves me. I'm always the one he wants to marry. I told him I'm not going to get back with him because he hurt me t...
A. 1 September 2013: He's somehow forgotten why he dumped you in the first place. If you give him another chance he'll probably remember and do it again. It's difficult (I've been there), but better to find someone else in the long run. ... (read in full...)
I found out my girlfriend is cheating and want to give her a taste of her own medicine!
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for about seven months now, we separated for a month and then got together. Things haven't been the best but we have managed to be together. Last month her friend, G, came to live in our town. I talk to her a lo...
A. 1 September 2013: Is it me or does it sound like she's a prostitute? Maybe it's just business and she really does love you and only needs other people for money? ... (read in full...)
I have a HUGE crush on a co worker.
Q. I am in a great relationship with my girlfriend. We have been together for many years. My girlfriend is bisexual but I cannot admit to her that I am as well. At work, I really like this guy. He makes me laugh and makes me feel good when I see ...
A. 31 August 2013: How about you stop hiding who you are, come out to her (who is she to judge?) and suggest a threesome? Maybe you'd love it.
I just think that some bisexuals can never be happy with only one sex. And unlike a straight threesome, both of you woul... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has cheated on me several times. Is it acceptable for me to have an affair of my own to show her that there are consequences to her behaviour?
Q. My 28yo GF has been with me for 5 years. This is the best relationship either of us have ever had. Its not perfect but we enjoy each other and we are good for each other most of the time. My GF openly says she used to be a huge cheater. Then...
A. 31 August 2013: This is a bad idea. I agree that if you simply accept her back it will happen again. But cheating on her will heighten her insecurities and make her do it again.
It sounds like she is just a cheater who doesn't really want to change. She may not ... (read in full...)
Troubled Relationship with Fiance full of Serious arguments, at least Weekly..Help!!
Q. We have been together for 5 years and have a 3 year old son. I have other children outside our relationship. She had a rough past, eg loosing parents etc. I have my past but when I saw her I decided to stop everything and focus on her and that is ...
A. 31 August 2013: Well, it depends on how long you were in counseling. It takes more than a few sessions I would think. If you did it for awhile and nothing changed, then, in my opinion, it's time to take a break from your fiance. You don't need to break up but maybe ... (read in full...)
No matter what I do, girls still don"t like me!
Q. What am i doing wrong , girls still dont like me ? Im a junior in hs and alot of girls dont like me . Idk y though , i tried be confident, an asshole, ect. pretty much everything Nothing works !!!! And all my female friends say im real attr...
A. 31 August 2013: Just be yourself unless there is a problem with yourself. Pretending to be something else is fake and people don't like fake people. Plus you're probably not doing it right.
Just be cool, find a girl that you're interested in (not just because ... (read in full...)
Pushing me away, pushing me back..what is up with her?
Q. This is my story, im a 36M with no kids and she is a 37F with 2 kids. We've meet 1 and half year ago and immediately *clicked*. We've spent hours daily at the phone speaking of everything and nothing. Lack of sleep or 3 to 4 hours sleep tops becam...
A. 1 August 2013: Some people are very complicated... we think we understand them (or should be able to), but they have experiences that we just can't relate to.
For whatever reason, your girl is one of those people. She wants you when you walk away. She pushes y... (read in full...)
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