Last resort with distant boyfriend. Please help!! Need *all* the advice I can get!!
Q. Hey everyone! Let me start off by apologizing for this long post and giving many thanks to everyone who reads it. xx I really need some helpful advice to pull my boyfriend back to me. I'm 31 and my boyfriend's 35. We've been together for 3 y...
A. 12 September 2013: You seem to be ignoring a lot of the advice you got here. I really think you should show him that you want to change by doing something that will help you change. Therapy doesn't mean you're crazy, it just can give you tools to figure out better ... (read in full...)
I am very broody but I think my boyfriend is scared!
Q. Hi guys, need some advice regarding having a baby. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years now. We live together and have good jobs with decent incomes. I really really want a baby. The broodiness that I constantly feel is becom...
A. 12 September 2013: I was very in love with a girl when I was 21-22. She kept on pressuring me to take things to the next level, but I just wasn't ready to be a husband or a father so young. It eventually led to our breakup.
Although you've been together for awhi... (read in full...)
Our first anniversary is here and he has porn on his phone and a hidden facebook account, I feel disgusted!
Q. My husband has been good to me in the past 12 months of our marriage however, i have recently found him out to be having pornography (pictures) in his cell phone and he also keeps a facebook account he told me he lost some two years back. His sole ...
A. 12 September 2013: The hypocrite in me says that if I found out my wife was doing that I'd be pissed; but if she caught me doing it I'd tell her it was only curiosity.
I'm telling you this because it's probably not as bad as it feels. It doesn't reflect poorly o... (read in full...)
I want to be horny but his idea of romance is humping me like a dog. Please somebody, give me some advice I can use!
Q. I am 19 and so is my boyfriend. We have been together since i was 13. I have always believed i should save myself for that one person...i had always known he was that one person but i was trying to wait till our honeymoon...well i didn't. At 16 i ...
A. 12 September 2013: You know what happens? When you started saying no to him all the time it made it not seem like it would matter if he romanced you or not; at the end of the day you'd say no. So he probably figures he should just ask since it's a lot less work.
... (read in full...)
My fiancée won't set a date!
Q. Dear Cupid, I have known my girlfriend since high school, almost 15 years, and we have been together as a couple for almost 3 years, engaged around 1 year, we also live together and have no children yet. When I proposed she seemed happy, said ...
A. 11 September 2013: I think you guys should go to couple's therapy before getting married. Your fiance probably has some issues that need to be worked out with a mother like that. Not to mention that, although you may be easy going now, imagine what things will be like ... (read in full...)
What do guys like during foreplay?
Q. I have a q: when in bed with a guy, during foreplay, as a woman what kind of things do you do to him (if you're not really into oral sex!), and for the guy what kind of things do you like? Being a woman, I know the kind of things to expect from a...
A. 11 September 2013: How about the next time you guys are intimate you slow it down and tell him that you'll touch, lick, kiss, fondle, etc. anywhere he likes.
Have him do the same to you. You may find he goes crazy when you suck on his ear lobe. Or maybe he likes hi... (read in full...)
Should I pay?
Q. So I am Back into the dating scene after I took some time off from my last relationship to recover so I went to online dating to try to find someone since I have a busy schedule. I connected with this guy and he asked me to go out for a drink so 1st ...
A. 11 September 2013: Maybe he's broke because of the Mercedes? ... (read in full...)
Last resort with distant boyfriend. Please help!! Need *all* the advice I can get!!
Q. Hey everyone! Let me start off by apologizing for this long post and giving many thanks to everyone who reads it. xx I really need some helpful advice to pull my boyfriend back to me. I'm 31 and my boyfriend's 35. We've been together for 3 y...
A. 11 September 2013: You seem to be ignoring a lot of the advice you got here. I really think you should show him that you want to change by doing something that will help you change. Therapy doesn't mean you're crazy, it just can give you tools to figure out better ... (read in full...)
Wasn't the sex good for her? Why did she have to start masturbating immediately after I had my orgasm?
Q. If I slept with a girl after our 2nd date and after a 10-minute intercourse where I orgasmed, she proceeded to immediately start masturbating and even asked me to do it for her the next 20 mins. Does it mean she didn't enjoy the intercourse or ...
A. 11 September 2013: This question is unreal. "I came. Shouldn't she be satisfied?"
Did she come? If not, that's why she continued. If she did, she wanted more action. Not everybody operates at the same level. ... (read in full...)
How can you just not care if your partner had orgazm or not
Q. I am in my early thirties, met a guy in his late 30s. Went on a date several times and we had sex. It was so lousy that I am not sure that i want to see him again. I would understand if it was someone young and inexperienced, but he was married, now ...
A. 11 September 2013: Maybe his last partner had particular desires that are the opposite of yours? I'd try again, but this time be more of an active participant. ... (read in full...)
What can I do to convince her I'll never cheat?
Q. hello all. i am in a relationship for 4 1/2 years now. i love my gf very much. ive never felt for someone else in my life. she has all the qualities i like in females. smart, calm, a good listener and a better advisor, supportive , loyal. with ...
A. 11 September 2013: I don't agree with wiseowl either, youwish's advice is perfect. I'd just like to add that your girlfriend needs counseling, because a promise to change isn't worth much when it's such a fundamental issue as insecurity. ... (read in full...)
I want to make friends and become more comfortable in social situations, any advice?
Q. I am the individual with Asperger's Syndrome who asked these questions: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/where-do-i-meet-these-particular-types-of.html ttp://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-do-i-become-better-at-dating.html As for the part abou...
A. 11 September 2013: School is for learning, so you didn't do anything wrong. Although it seems as if you may have missed out, there's no reason you can't enjoy things now. ... (read in full...)
I am feeling very sexually frustrated!
Q. About 2 weeks ago my girlfriend gave me my first blow job. It was great and all but I find that now I am very sexually frustrated. I get turned on a lot and long for her to do it again. But this isn't like the normal horny where you can just go ...
A. 11 September 2013: There's not much you can do at that age to prevent sexual frustration, unless you have your own place and three or four girlfriends.
A word of advice: condoms suck but before you decide not to use one you should know that statistically, 1 out of... (read in full...)
My ex-girlfriend saw me with my new friend!
Q. I was in a relationship for a year and I recently broke up with her. Its been about two weeks and we only talked once. I broke up with her because she cheated on me. She blacked out and I guess from what she told me she made out with another guy ...
A. 11 September 2013: I can't for the life of me see why you should contact her. Even if you loved her, you did the smart thing by breaking up with her. If you hang out in the same circles this was bound to happen.
An apology isn't necessary, you didn't do anything... (read in full...)
Men, what is my ex-FWB thinking after I said goodbye two weeks ago?
Q. I ended 2year "fwb" ... had to walk away! I honestly believed that we met for such great reason, so choosing to end all, for someone I truly liked and cared for hurt. I hadn't heard from him like "normal" and when I sent a casual, "hello' ...
A. 10 September 2013: He probably cared about you as a friend and didn't want to hurt you. He also probably misses your friendship and I wouldn't be surprised if he missed the sex.
Obviously, for whatever reason, he doesn't see the two of you as being compatib... (read in full...)
Living with a woman who doesn't speak English?
Q. I turned 16 last week and my parents died a couple of months ago. I am moving to live with my godfather. About a year and a half ago he married a Thai lady who doesn't speak English more than a "hello" and "yes". She doesn't understand Engli...
A. 10 September 2013: The same way he does; with hand gestures and by speaking your language to her slowly and clearly. She'll learn some, as will you. You don't need to have a deep and meaningful relationship with her. And don't let her set you up with a Thai girl when ... (read in full...)
Last resort with distant boyfriend. Please help!! Need *all* the advice I can get!!
Q. Hey everyone! Let me start off by apologizing for this long post and giving many thanks to everyone who reads it. xx I really need some helpful advice to pull my boyfriend back to me. I'm 31 and my boyfriend's 35. We've been together for 3 y...
A. 10 September 2013: He's not going to let you back in his life until you change. He's falling out of love with you more and more every day you don't change.
So, as already suggested, you need to change, the best way being therapy. I second Chigirls advice about ho... (read in full...)
Her dependency on me is holding me back and ruining our love.
Q. Fell in love with a woman who has a child. We dated for a years and while dating her, she was still somewhat dependent on the ex because of the child. She gets offered a job opportunity in another state and due to the state of her financial ...
A. 10 September 2013: She's the type that relies on people because she can. She won't step up to the plate until she has to. Tell her that you can't afford to continue supporting her.
There are subsidized options for people who can't afford daycare. She can get subs... (read in full...)
Is this just sex or something more?
Q. I recently met this guy who is a regular customer at my job. I'm a restaurant manager. He comes in and has a drink every now and then and has gotten to know the bartenders well. He inquired about me with one of the bartenders and she got us to start ...
A. 10 September 2013: Never ask a guy so soon to establish the terms of the relationship. You're still getting to know each other, so how can either of you realistically know what "you think you are"?
If he's showing (not just telling) you that he's interest... (read in full...)
I feel as if my husband has forgotten his commitment in this marriage and is disregarding the needs and desires that I have.
Q. Hi. Thios os my situation. My husband and I have been married for almost 3 years and lived together for 1 year before that. We split the bills equally because we earned about the same. (No children) About a year after we married he lost his job. We ...
A. 10 September 2013: How about a joint account? All money goes in the one account, that way you can fairly budget, plan for holidays, and other things. ... (read in full...)
How do you let someone down gently when you were the one doing the chasing to start with?
Q. So... there was a girl I met once through mutual friends on a day out to a local town for site seeing, a spot of lunch etc... We spoke a fair bit, and quite liked her. I got in touch via email to ask her out, and had a to chase a little but manag...
A. 10 September 2013: I've just always been honest. And it's better sooner than later.
And I don't mean honest like "you're too boring", but like "I don't feel like we have enough in common."
Give her a compliment or two to soften the blow. "I think you're rea... (read in full...)
I'm worried that I've inadvertently become a friend with benefits, and it isn't a label that I like or think I deserve
Q. Hi all, hoping for some impartial advice! A guy approached me on a night out and asked for my number. Was bit out of blur but he was cute so I said yes. He messaged me quite a bit and we arranged to meet for a drink. We were out with our groups of ...
A. 10 September 2013: First of all, your instincts to not "heap on the pressure early on" are spot on! Telling someone how you feel at the wrong time can make them magically disappear.
Wait until you're sure he shares feelings with you before you reveal yours. R... (read in full...)
Is it possible to ignore someone this long and still want to work things out?
Q. Please help. My man and I got into an arguement because he was talki g to an ex flirting and sending pics. I made him delete her on facebook and tell her to stop texting. I then admitted I sent my ex a pic after i found out he did and i came forward ...
A. 10 September 2013: A lesson you should learn here is "don't do something you know you shouldn't do just because someone else did." That'll only make things worse, as you've found out. Instead, you need to work on fixing the situation that caused the problem. Making ... (read in full...)
OCD with temper issues...is this a relationship worth saving?
Q. im in a new relationship with someone who has a past of abuse from an ex, she also has ocd quite bad with a short temper but refuses to get help as she says shes okay. shes now asked me to come off a social network site that i only use to contact ...
A. 9 September 2013: Someone with issues who refuses to acknowledge them is just going to be an emotional black hole for you.
Learning when to break off a relationship is a good trait to learn. Sometimes it's not when the relationship dies, but when you realize ... (read in full...)
Body dysmorphic disorder
Q. So my problem is I am ugly....I have spent lots of money on therapy for BDD (Body dysmorphic disorder), but it just seems that a duck is a duck. I am ugly and that's that, but I feel like I'm gorgeous. So I'm a duck that thinks its a swan...any ...
A. 9 September 2013: My guess is that the only issue here is that you go after guys who are out of your league... Or maybe that you make comments about being gorgeous and people look at you funny.
If that's the case I'd say you just need to adjust your standard... (read in full...)
Who takes off the condom after sex?
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, I've been sleeping with my boyfriend for a few months now, and we always use a condom. Thing is, it kind of gets awkward when it's time to remove the condom. After the act, I always remove the condom for him and wipe the mes...
A. 9 September 2013: If you like doing that, keep it up, it sounds great. ... (read in full...)
If he really loved me wouldn't he talk about making changes in our lives?
Q. Dear Cupid, Looking for a man perspective. I've been in an exclusive relationship for 3 years, we are both middle-aged. We've broken up several times, because I'm frustrated in not seeing any progress and he is unwilling to talk about where rela...
A. 9 September 2013: You've received excellent advice here from everyone. To reiterate: you're barking up the wrong tree. ... (read in full...)
My EX from 2 weeks ago is already ENGAGED to her PREVIOUS EX!!! Help!!!
Q. So I figured I would get an outsiders, unbiased perspective on this situation. My ex and I broke up about a month and a half ago. We broke it off very well; maturely, trying to stay friends, and kept it very civil. We were dating for about a year...
A. 9 September 2013: She sounds nuts, so good riddance.
I'd say she moved on quickly because she transferred a lot of her feelings from you to him, not to mention the feelings she had for him all along. That's why rebounding is no good. ... (read in full...)
Virginity and losing it..how do you know when you are ready?
Q. I'm 19 and a 2nd year varsity student... I've been in a relationship with this guy for over 2 years now... He loves me and treats me like a queen. We are both virgins and we are considering having sex. I would just like some sort of guidance as 2 ...
A. 9 September 2013: Maybe you should have "the talk" with them so you can get on the pill now. That way you're ready when the time comes. Don't trust condoms as your sole birth control.
I'd say that you're ready when the desire overpowers the nervousness and inti... (read in full...)
Can all this small talk lead to romance?
Q. I'm a University Student, and I'm taking English Literature as my Major. I meet with a beautiful classmate on my first day. (Let's call her Alice.) During our class, our Professor asks the class which writers have stood out from today's writers,...
A. 9 September 2013: Don't ask her "at what pace she'd feel comfortable going", stop being afraid of scaring her, because confidence is very important, so if she sees you questioning everything you do, THAT will scare her off.
Just go at the pace that feels natural.... (read in full...)
Should I write a letter to my ex for closure?
Q. Hi everyone, so, my ex boyfriend broke up with me two months ago. It was the beginning of the summer, and he probably wanted to spend his time alone/with his friends no strings attached. During these two months I truly tried to get over him, bu...
A. 8 September 2013: I wouldn't... It's over and done with, so be done with it. Moving on takes time, and two months isn't all that long.
One thing that keeps people from being able to move on sometimes is questioning themselves, "what did I do wrong... Why doesn't ... (read in full...)
Can all this small talk lead to romance?
Q. I'm a University Student, and I'm taking English Literature as my Major. I meet with a beautiful classmate on my first day. (Let's call her Alice.) During our class, our Professor asks the class which writers have stood out from today's writers,...
A. 8 September 2013: Okay, it's time to stop being afraid of "potentially getting hurt by mixed signals" and to start making this more than a friendship. If you don't you risk getting stuck in the friend zone.
Ask her if she'd like to go out on a date. Don't word it ... (read in full...)
How many times is it reasonable to try making it work?
Q. Is there ever a time to just walk away, no matter how much you want a relationship to work, no matter how much you love them? Basically, I met my on-off boyfriend nearly 8 year's ago. We dated for 3 months then we ended things as I mov...
A. 8 September 2013: If you don't work on the issues that broke you up in the first place, you'll just break up again. I can relate to your issue, it's hard to say no to love.
What I'd suggest is couple's counseling. ... (read in full...)
Is it just the distance or are my instincts right that he's two-timing me?
Q. I met a guy a few months ago while on vacation, he lives 6 hours away, but we exchanged numbers, and agreed on being friends, which obviously didn't last long. I feel very drawn to him, which doesn't happen very often, and never so quickly. I can ...
A. 8 September 2013: "When we text, I feel like I'm not the only one he talks to."
That's not exactly fool proof evidence. Some people, including myself, aren't much into texting. I remember when my wife and I first started dating, I felt like she could care less abo... (read in full...)
I've seen her on online dating sites but she won't admit it
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for just over 18 months. Recently I have found her 3 times on dating sites. We have argued and almost broken up over it. Even though I saw it with my own eyes, she is still denying it. Is it just a bit of a joke? or ...
A. 7 September 2013: I think people are asking because their answer could go two ways depending on whether or not you met on one of these websites. If you had it'd be possible she just hadn't taken her profile down. ... (read in full...)
Friends with benefits, but he has a girl-friend and he doesn't care about her. Any opinion on these signs that he may like me?Thank you
Q. HI, there is this guy i used to like and i told him he didn't pay attention and so on, this was like 5 years ago. And he was a major womaniser. Anyway, so i started dating this guy and he started dating this girl, and this guy who i liked his name ...
A. 7 September 2013: It sounds like he's already getting what he wants from you and he probably has no intention of replacing his current girl with you. ... (read in full...)
Can I assume every guy going to a gay bar is gay?
Q. I'm 26, and have recently tried to go to a gay bar alone, but don't spend too long there, because I'm not very confident going there, but I suppose it's the only real way to meet other gay people in my semi-rural area. Where I live there isn't much ...
A. 7 September 2013: I would say that the majority of regulars at a gay bar are gay. I've been to gay bars before with girls and I'm not gay, but I certainly wasn't going more than a couple of times.
He may be exploring his sexuality, or he may not want to show too... (read in full...)
I feel I made an inappropriate comment on a date and that it might have put the guy off
Q. I went on a date last week with a guy and made an inappropriate comment. I mentioned it being lady's night and the ticket would be less expensive. He said, "you're saved" and I said, "not me, you." He began to laugh but more like a damn haha ...
A. 7 September 2013: It doesn't seem like it should be a big deal, so I wouldn't worry about it. If he thinks it's a big deal you should be happy to be rid of him. ... (read in full...)
Serendipity after a summer camp. Not Quite!
Q. I met a guy at a church Summer Camp I volunteer at every year. He was coming from another state on a mission to help in the camp. We talked a lot during camp and when he left he gave me his phone number. We spoke a bit on Facebook but not too much...
A. 7 September 2013: It's pretty clear to me that he really only wants you for sex, despite his protests. FYI, church guys can be just as pervy as anyone else, trust me. Also, if you don't want a sex based relationship, don't start doing sexual things until you've had a ... (read in full...)
He goes to strip clubs and told me I'm not as sexually attractive to him as I was 14 years and 2 of our children ago!
Q. I don’t know what to do anymore. I have been married for 10 years to my husband, we dated for about 2 years before that and we have two children together ( almost 8 and 4 years old) (he also has two from a previous marriage). I just recently found ...
A. 7 September 2013: I'm not saying you should do all that. I certainly wouldn't if I was you. But many women do, if not for their husband they do it for themselves. The bonus is that your husband will probably love it and treat you like he should be treating you now. ... (read in full...)
I want to score with this girl but cant get her attention!
Q. I really like this girl. I met her at work. she's beautiful, sexy and smart. She is oozing with breath taking sex appeal. she knows how to dress well and very down to earth. The problem is, I learned that she is older than me by 7 years. I didn't ...
A. 7 September 2013: Magic tricks. Women LOVE magic tricks. If that doesn't make her pants fall down I don't know what will (besides lots of money). ... (read in full...)
Did he end things because he has found someone else?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up about a week ago. He said he needed space and personal time. He asked me to take his things that he had left at my house because we lived together I took his things to him he told me that we both just needed time for our ...
A. 7 September 2013: When someone asks for space it can make you feel like you can't give them any or they'll leave. But the truth is if you don't give him space he's gone for sure. Just leave him alone and try to move on with your life. ... (read in full...)
I've seen her on online dating sites but she won't admit it
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for just over 18 months. Recently I have found her 3 times on dating sites. We have argued and almost broken up over it. Even though I saw it with my own eyes, she is still denying it. Is it just a bit of a joke? or ...
A. 7 September 2013: Why are you putting up with this behavior? So, she didn't answer you (and whatever she would have said would probably be bs), respond by leaving her. If you stay with her you're condoning her behavior.
Or, you can stay with her and accept t... (read in full...)
He goes to strip clubs and told me I'm not as sexually attractive to him as I was 14 years and 2 of our children ago!
Q. I don’t know what to do anymore. I have been married for 10 years to my husband, we dated for about 2 years before that and we have two children together ( almost 8 and 4 years old) (he also has two from a previous marriage). I just recently found ...
A. 6 September 2013: I think you need to continue working out, but you may need to do it more (5 days a week, minimum 30 minutes cardio and some light weightlifting). Stop eating processed foods, even so called "lo carb/light/weight loss" stuff. Also, work on changing ... (read in full...)
He goes to strip clubs and told me I'm not as sexually attractive to him as I was 14 years and 2 of our children ago!
Q. I don’t know what to do anymore. I have been married for 10 years to my husband, we dated for about 2 years before that and we have two children together ( almost 8 and 4 years old) (he also has two from a previous marriage). I just recently found ...
A. 6 September 2013: I think you need to continue working out, but you may need to do it more (5 days a week, minimum 30 minutes cardio and some light weightlifting). Stop eating processed foods, even so called "lo carb/light/weight loss" stuff. Also, work on changing ... (read in full...)
| *MMP's friends
These are mutual friends, so *MMP has
added them and they have added *MMP!
|
