Why does he say he feels no connection ?
Q. My Bf of 1 year says he feels no connection to me. he says he is not my BF. yet we go out, have sex. We started out wrong with sex. He had a cheating GF that lived with him and since then several years of not dating. Now me.. and he says no c...
A. 29 September 2013: It sounds to me like you may need some therapy to figure out why you're head over heels for a guy who doesn't give a shit about you.
If you leave him you may find that he comes after you and realizes he cares about you, but you will more likely f... (read in full...)
What are possible reasons for a man to distance himself when another woman is NOT involved?
Q. I'd like to know some of the main reasons a man (35) would distance himself, after 3 years together, to the point of a break up if there isn't another woman involved. Let's say said man is distancing himself, drastically, but still telling hi...
A. 18 September 2013: Unfortunately, it's over. He wants you there waiting for him because of his abandonment issues, but he doesn't actually want you in his life anymore.
As long as you allow him to do this he will.
Text him and say that you are done wondering w... (read in full...)
What's up with him only wanting sex with me from behind?
Q. My boyfriend wants to have sex with me only from behind… what is that all about? ... It is comming on the fift year we are together and for last couple of years it is just that one position. From behind. I am bored, I love him very much and I can ...
A. 18 September 2013: I don't think you're asking too much at all and I do think you guys have the beginnings of some serious problems. People who acknowledge their problems but refuse to try and fix themselves are never going to be good spouses.
My wife has some iss... (read in full...)
What are possible reasons for a man to distance himself when another woman is NOT involved?
Q. I'd like to know some of the main reasons a man (35) would distance himself, after 3 years together, to the point of a break up if there isn't another woman involved. Let's say said man is distancing himself, drastically, but still telling hi...
A. 17 September 2013: Love doesn't usually just disappear when you decide you don't want to be with someone. After all, they were likely your closest companion for three years.
It's hard to break up with someone, this is his way of trying to make it easy on both of ... (read in full...)
Am I being-over cautious about moving in with him?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and to be honest we've had quite a few problems over the years. Things have been going better over the last 6 months or so, but we came very close to splitting up before that so I feel there is still a way ...
A. 17 September 2013: You're being reasonable, but something I don't understand is why are you with somebody that you've had a rocky 4 year relationship with?
Do you want a rocky relationship for the rest of your life? Are you afraid of being alone? You either y... (read in full...)
I think this guy I've been talking to is cheating on me! How do I handle this? Should I be mad?
Q. I'm talking to this guy and I'm in college. He lives an Hour away but he went back to his original home because he's on vacation. we usually talk everyday, but when I told him I was going home he told me he wont contact me this weekend, so I can sp...
A. 17 September 2013: Yeah, the bottom line is that you shouldn't be fawning for a guy who is not even close to giving you what you want.
If you want a relationship and a commitment then expect that from him. If he doesn't live up to your expectations then tell him... (read in full...)
She's frustrated because we don't have enough together time; I'm frustrated because I don't get time with my friends.
Q. My girlfriend and I have nearly opposite schedules at the moment and haven't had much time together. On Saturday she flipped out on me because I played a game with some friends while she napped. I was waiting for her to wake up so we could spen...
A. 17 September 2013: There's no pill you can take or magic words that can fix this problem. There are three choices here; one that is a compromise, two that will leave the other party unhappy.
First, you could do whatever you want and makes you happy. You could pl... (read in full...)
With all my issues I'm afraid he's more into me than I am to him
Q. okay so im seeing this guy and everythings fine and its literally my first 'relationship' so to speak in over two or three years. my last relationship was with a guy who really was awful and forced me to have sex with him before bullying me and ...
A. 17 September 2013: Do you find him to be good looking?
Is he nice to you?
Does he seem to know how to treat a girl well?
Do you enjoy his company?
If you answered yes to all of those, then you may just (unfortunately) have an attraction to "bad boys"... (read in full...)
I just want him to let me go!
Q. I've been seeing this guy for over three months now. He has serious commitment issues, which he warned me about. He never had a long term relationship, and less than a handful of them were monogamous relationships. He agreed to be exclusive because ...
A. 17 September 2013: How about no contact and you block his number/email/Facebook?
Nothing is EVER going to change, you seem to be well aware of that, so it's your job to leave, not his.
He's happy with the way things are, you're not.
To specifically answe... (read in full...)
I am giving him a second chance although he lies and cheats.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for just over three years now, and it's my first long term relationship. We've had our ups and downs just like anyone. Recently we had a heart to heart, he went out to lunch with a girl who he had been deleting messages ...
A. 17 September 2013: He's putting you first and treating you amazing until you take him back. He'll soon be treating you the same way he did for better or worse.
That means that you need to address his deception or it will happen again. What really happened? And just... (read in full...)
He got in touch with his immediately after we split, now we're back together and this bothers me!
Q. About 3 months ago my boyfriend and I broke up because I felt that he wasn't as affectionate anymore, more importantly that he had started initiating contact with his ex- girlfriend. I still miss him after 2 months, so I made a move and we got back ...
A. 17 September 2013: In his defense, he was probably a little heart broken when you dumped him and, as they say, nothing helps you get over someone like getting under someone else."
I'm not suggesting he slept with her, but he was hurt I'm sure.
What you real... (read in full...)
Should I date this older woman?
Q. Dear all, I am really torn about this and need some objective advice (besides I am too ashamed to ask any of my friends). I will start with a quick summary about myself: I am 30 years old and had only had one relationship in my whole life. I...
A. 17 September 2013: Jannipeg is right. Don't mislead her, but don't feel bad asking her out and seeing if she's interested in "fun". She may have only wanted that all along.
You need to start being more aggressive or you'll find yourself lonely for the rest of your ... (read in full...)
What's up with him only wanting sex with me from behind?
Q. My boyfriend wants to have sex with me only from behind… what is that all about? ... It is comming on the fift year we are together and for last couple of years it is just that one position. From behind. I am bored, I love him very much and I can ...
A. 17 September 2013: He sounds like he's obsessive compulsive or something.
I can't imagine a girl telling me she's bored with our sex life and me telling her "tough", so other than expressing yourself better I don't know what else to suggest. ... (read in full...)
I think this guy I've been talking to is cheating on me! How do I handle this? Should I be mad?
Q. I'm talking to this guy and I'm in college. He lives an Hour away but he went back to his original home because he's on vacation. we usually talk everyday, but when I told him I was going home he told me he wont contact me this weekend, so I can sp...
A. 17 September 2013: That's not a great reason to think he's cheating, but that combined with the fact that he usually thinks you're cheating when you go back home makes me suspicious. Usually people who cheat think their gf/bf are cheating too. ... (read in full...)
All I really need to know from you is do you think he can love me if he's done that? And does he want to be with me?
Q. I assume you will all tell me to get rid once youve read my question but what I really want to know is can he love me if he did this? Do you think he really wants to be with me? So ive been with my boyfriend since feb, neither of us were looking ...
A. 17 September 2013: Sure he can love you, but he'll cheat on you again. He didn't have an "accident", he made a premeditated decision and your relationship didn't factor into it.
So if you want to love someone that will likely hurt you again, go ahead. ... (read in full...)
Why does he say he feels no connection ?
Q. My Bf of 1 year says he feels no connection to me. he says he is not my BF. yet we go out, have sex. We started out wrong with sex. He had a cheating GF that lived with him and since then several years of not dating. Now me.. and he says no c...
A. 16 September 2013: Because you're not compatible with each other. Stop delaying the inevitable and leave. ... (read in full...)
Should I just move on even if I still have feelings for her?
Q. OK, there's this girl with whom I had the most tortuous, hot/cold relationship possible...we'd known each other for several years and it wasn't until the last couple of years when we were starting to look like an "ítem"...what would usually happen ...
A. 16 September 2013: Get back in contact with her if you want a drama filled life. If you don't, stay away. It's really that simple. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has contact with her ex and lies to me about it. How do I talk to her about this?
Q. I dont feel hurt by her actions, just disappointed that shes lieing to my face and not telling the whole truth. I told my girlfriend that if she had contact with her ex it would break us up and its not that i cant or dont trust her its how he b...
A. 16 September 2013: Unfortunately you've already talked about it and she clearly doesn't want to stop talking to him. What else is there to say?
No amount of snooping will prevent it; she has to want to stop talking to him or its just not going to happen.
In m... (read in full...)
Shaking and sex??
Q. I have a girlfriend i been dating for 2 years now. Everytime i see her and we get sexual i start to shake. Is this normal? I shake as though im cold but im not. Am i nervous? I dont understand how i could be i mean i been with her for 2 years and we ...
A. 16 September 2013: Nervous... Don't know why now, but this happened to me for awhile when I was first getting laid. ... (read in full...)
Was he put off? How can I relax into this?
Q. I am still a virgin at the age of 20 which I want to change. The reason is because I was with a guy from the age of 16 until recently, and he had erection problems. In short we had a complex relationship which was not really normal. I have re...
A. 16 September 2013: You probably need to wait for awhile, until you're more comfortable. Sometimes it just takes time. ... (read in full...)
I'm struggling to find love and I'm nearly 35
Q. I'm 34 (not far off 35) and my experiences of relationships are very minimal I've been in one short term relationship over four years ago, and have been on one date since. I've been on a dating site for over five years, and I've had two messages...
A. 16 September 2013: I don't blame you for being bummed out about your lack of a love life, but you have to be proactive.
Are you sending messages to women who are out of your league, so to speak? Try approaching women who are less attractive. Unfortunately on datin... (read in full...)
How do I give up on finding love and meeting someone.
Q. Hi everyone, have you got any advice for me to give up on finding love and meeting someone because I couldn't care if I ever met anyone. I know that sounds stupid being I'm only 23 but it just upset me and destroys my confidence thinking about it. ...
A. 16 September 2013: You either don't want love or you do. It sounds to me like you do but are frustrated with your progress.
Instead of failing and giving up, try learning from your mistakes. Some guys think being a nice guy is enough- it's not. You have to be nice,... (read in full...)
My mother thinks I should use birth control but I disagree
Q. Well my mom saw my bf just yesterday but she has frequently heard about him and i that we dating. Today on the radio they were talking about how parents should oversee how their children behave. she brought the issue of taking birth control pills. ...
A. 15 September 2013: How about I answer your question with a question: Why WOULDN'T you want to take it?
FYI, if you got pregnant it would affect your mother's life almost as much as your own. So, in my opinion, she does deserve some say in the matter.
Condoms... (read in full...)
Does FWB want more?
Q. Ok.. I'm hoping someone can help... I have a kind of fwb situation going on with a guy I work with. It was him who asked me about it, as we were both single and not looking for an intense relationship, as both of us had been hurt in the past. So ...
A. 15 September 2013: I don't think there are any rules to a FWB relationship other than there is no promise of becoming something more than FWB.
So, even if he likes you, he didn't break any rules. He is human after all. At some point, your thing may evolve into a t... (read in full...)
Hard from seeing a naked woman?
Q. I have a question about erections.... My last two boyfriends could only get half boners from seeing me naked, one was heavily into porn. Is that because I look bad compared to the porn? Is it because they aren't really that interested in se...
A. 15 September 2013: If only it were that easy... ... (read in full...)
Friend-zoned ... I need help!
Q. Hi, I need some help and advice. I have been liking this girl. A week ago, I hint my feelings to her. We texted and heart to heart talk a little. She finds me a good friend and she don't want to be involve in a relationship. She wants to wait un...
A. 14 September 2013: So you need a restraining order to leave her alone? Some people just don't want to hurt other people's feelings, so they make excuses. That seems to be what she did. Either that or she really doesn't want a relationship because she's too busy and ... (read in full...)
I just moved in with my girlfriend and there is already conflict!
Q. Hi, Me and my gf, we moved in together 3 weeks ago. I got a new, very time-consuming job a week ago and her classes (she's a student) started at the same time. So we both come home tired, and I have to go to bed at 10 P.M. to wake up for work. ...
A. 14 September 2013: Either she has PMS or you need to run away as fast as you can! ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex lover made me cringe when I had to see her again.
Q. I really need other people's opinion on this situation. My boyfriend and I live in his room sharing a flat with his flatmate. I knew that a girl who he had sex with 5 months ago, was coming to our small city. She needed a place to stay for one nigh...
A. 14 September 2013: You didn't give a lot of information about what she said/Di that bothered you, so to be completely honest with you, you kind of sound like you have a grudge against her for some reason. ... (read in full...)
Is fisting normal?
Q. I just met a beautiful 22 year old (I'm 10 years older) and after our 1st intercourse, she asked me to "fist" her. She derived huge pleasure from it but I was shocked. I've had considerable experience but never have I had a girl ask me this. ...
A. 14 September 2013: nor·mal
'nôrm?l/Submit
adjective
1.
conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.
So, it's probably not normal for everyone, but it sounds pretty normal for her if she asked you to do it your first time together.
What's the... (read in full...)
Is spending the weekend together the same as living together?
Q. Do you think that staying with your bf or gf every weekend is the same as living together? My bf only visits on the weekend, he has no belongings at my house aside from a toothbrush, doesn't participate financially in anything, doesn't cook or clean ...
A. 14 September 2013: Is having a one night stand the same as moving in with someone? ... (read in full...)
My ex is taking time out to work on herself as she's severely depressed, should I wait for her or move on?
Q. I'm super torn up about a break up. My ex girlfriend is having major mental illness issues and can't hold down a functioning relationship anymore. we had been together for over a year, and she'd always battled with severe anxiety and depression, but ...
A. 13 September 2013: Ahhh, you're a woman... Sorry.
In that case, I'd change my answer to say that you could wait for her and maybe only casually date other people until she's better, IF she gets better. When/if that time comes and the two of you are still head ove... (read in full...)
My ex is taking time out to work on herself as she's severely depressed, should I wait for her or move on?
Q. I'm super torn up about a break up. My ex girlfriend is having major mental illness issues and can't hold down a functioning relationship anymore. we had been together for over a year, and she'd always battled with severe anxiety and depression, but ...
A. 13 September 2013: It's unfortunate, but mental illness can be passed on to the next generation... do you really want to subject your children to that? I have little ones and, let me promise you, the answer is NO. I know that doesn't sound very fair, and it isn't, but ... (read in full...)
Am I being shallow? Or is my boyfriend just cheap?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year and in that time we have been in love. However.. something that I tried not to let bother me in the beginning has recently really started to get on my nerves. My boyfriend, I feel, is a huge cheaps...
A. 13 September 2013: Not only is he cheap, but he's not very considerate or thoughtful. It's time you chose. Is this something you can accept (and not be always getting upset about)? Or will it continue to drive you nuts for the rest of your relationship? If it's the ... (read in full...)
I love him so much but the possibility of never marrying is devastating to me.
Q. I have been in a relationship with my partner for 3 years and we have a 10 week old daughter together. Since I gave birth to my daughter I have been yearning to engaged/married we have a generally brilliant relationship and I love him dearly. The ...
A. 13 September 2013: The question is, if you're so convinced that you're not the right woman for him, why are you so desperate to get married to him?
And what's so special about a guy who just wants you to be "sex on tap, someone to clean up his mess and someone ... (read in full...)
How to tell a guy that you want a committed relationship?
Q. I went to a party with a friend, where I was able to meet this guy. We spoke a bit at the party but we didn't flirt. Throughout the entire night, I was attempting to set him up with my friend by trying to initiate in conversation and get them ...
A. 13 September 2013: Before you tell a guy you want a committed relationship from him you have to have a relationship in the first place. What you describe sounds like it's far from being at that point.
The first and most important question is obviously "would s... (read in full...)
People think my guy is so great but they don't see what I see!
Q. Has anybody ever gone through this, or at least seen it happening before? I have what I would call a normally very sweet guy. My family love him and my friends always tell me how lucky I am, and wish they could meet someone like him. They ask why we ...
A. 13 September 2013: Your question is all over the place. The real question is "Why are you in this miserable relationship?"
Why does it seem to bother you that people like your boyfriend? Because you can't stand him? Why do you continue to try and catch him on datin... (read in full...)
I know I need to let her go because of how she treats me, but I'm in love with her and scared to be without her!
Q. This past week and a half my girlfriend hasn't been acting the same and shes done nothing more than push me away, she picks fights for no reason and no matter what i say i'm a monster, there is no making her happy anymore and when i ask her whats ...
A. 13 September 2013: You're not in love, you're insecure. Nothing bad will happen if you break up with her other than some sadness and loneliness for a relatively short period.
If you stay with her you'll continue to be made to feel insecure, you'll stress out, you... (read in full...)
I feel like this guy somewhat ruined this relationship for me and that she might still be attached to him in some way. Explain this female mind to me!
Q. Ok I really need your guys' insight as to what's going on. So my girlfriend and I have been dating for around a month and a half now, but we've been good friends since freshman year (I'm a senior). Everything's been great, except ever since we ...
A. 13 September 2013: It seems relatively obvious that she's afraid that if she starts having sex with you that sex will become the focus of the relationship. It could be an automatic reaction that she finds hard to control. Sort of like if a kid touches the stove and ... (read in full...)
I feel like this guy somewhat ruined this relationship for me and that she might still be attached to him in some way. Explain this female mind to me!
Q. Ok I really need your guys' insight as to what's going on. So my girlfriend and I have been dating for around a month and a half now, but we've been good friends since freshman year (I'm a senior). Everything's been great, except ever since we ...
A. 13 September 2013: It seems relatively obvious that she's afraid that if she starts having sex with you that sex will become the focus of the relationship. It could be an automatic reaction that she finds hard to control. Sort of like if a kid touches the stove and ... (read in full...)
How can I forgive myself and regain his trust?
Q. This question is about sexual fantasies, alcohol, and a mistake that may have jeopardized my fiance's trust in me. My fiance' and I are getting married in June. We are both in professional school, 25 years old, and live 1 hour apart because we...
A. 13 September 2013: I'd guess that most people who get really drunk have made drunken mistakes. God knows that I have. Many people are also super horny and sexual when they're drunk. So what you did is well within typical drunken behavior.
However, when you're i... (read in full...)
Last resort with distant boyfriend. Please help!! Need *all* the advice I can get!!
Q. Hey everyone! Let me start off by apologizing for this long post and giving many thanks to everyone who reads it. xx I really need some helpful advice to pull my boyfriend back to me. I'm 31 and my boyfriend's 35. We've been together for 3 y...
A. 12 September 2013: You seem to be ignoring a lot of the advice you got here. I really think you should show him that you want to change by doing something that will help you change. Therapy doesn't mean you're crazy, it just can give you tools to figure out better ... (read in full...)
Lost my boyfriend and my best friend, I should just let go, shouldn't I?
Q. I had a few posts here and i appreciate the advice i got. This is my last post http://www.dearcupid.org/question/broke-up-with-ex-4-months-ago-and.htm Ive been reading a lot about how to move on. I kept myself busy too, but its extremly difficu...
A. 12 September 2013: The greatest guy ever wouldn't have hurt you. Move on so you can find a guy who will be there for you when you need him most, because it's obviously not this guy. ... (read in full...)
I am very broody but I think my boyfriend is scared!
Q. Hi guys, need some advice regarding having a baby. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years now. We live together and have good jobs with decent incomes. I really really want a baby. The broodiness that I constantly feel is becom...
A. 12 September 2013: I was very in love with a girl when I was 21-22. She kept on pressuring me to take things to the next level, but I just wasn't ready to be a husband or a father so young. It eventually led to our breakup.
Although you've been together for awhi... (read in full...)
Last resort with distant boyfriend. Please help!! Need *all* the advice I can get!!
Q. Hey everyone! Let me start off by apologizing for this long post and giving many thanks to everyone who reads it. xx I really need some helpful advice to pull my boyfriend back to me. I'm 31 and my boyfriend's 35. We've been together for 3 y...
A. 11 September 2013: You seem to be ignoring a lot of the advice you got here. I really think you should show him that you want to change by doing something that will help you change. Therapy doesn't mean you're crazy, it just can give you tools to figure out better ... (read in full...)
Last resort with distant boyfriend. Please help!! Need *all* the advice I can get!!
Q. Hey everyone! Let me start off by apologizing for this long post and giving many thanks to everyone who reads it. xx I really need some helpful advice to pull my boyfriend back to me. I'm 31 and my boyfriend's 35. We've been together for 3 y...
A. 10 September 2013: He's not going to let you back in his life until you change. He's falling out of love with you more and more every day you don't change.
So, as already suggested, you need to change, the best way being therapy. I second Chigirls advice about ho... (read in full...)
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