After 5 years he tells me he never loved me and was just using me for sex
Q. after 5yrs the guy i was seeing told me he had meet someone else. Now discover that he never loved me and he only kept seeing me for sex. I feel so used and cheap. Im finding it hard to deal with as i loved this guy. how do i move on? jo ...
A. 31 October 2013: Don't believe anything he says. Sometimes people just want to hurt other people... don't ask me why.
The way you know this is because even if he was using you for 5 years, if he had half a heart he wouldn't tell you. Which means he is just bei... (read in full...)
My online boyfriend just used me for money!
Q. I meet my bf online 4 months back. Initially he was very sweet. And always told me he loves me very much. We never meet face to face. He is financially a broke. I helped him pay half of his house rent once. He also didn't have money to eat food I a...
A. 30 October 2013: He wasn't a boyfriend, he was a scam artist.
Also, you couldn't possibly know what love is if you think you love him. People have to earn love. Not only have you never met him, but he is manipulating you into giving him money and he's mean to ... (read in full...)
Can I stop him sleeping with a new woman, Just this weekend?
Q. Hi I hope you guys can give me some advice? Here's the story... Sorry it's so complicated. i came to this city to build a career and get over a bad break up.. i built my life up, had a fantastic high paid job i was very good at and got on br...
A. 30 October 2013: Well, I understand the feelings you have and how hurt you are, but your relationship is over and has been for awhile.
You are refusing to allow yourself to get over him and it'd just prolonging your agony. So in a way I wouldn't expect him to c... (read in full...)
What am I doing wrong in my friendships?
Q. Need advice about friendships.. I'm going to try not to sound too much like a victim here, just bear in mind i've fallen in a heap and am feeling a bit sorry for myself.. For as long as i can remember i've had difficulties with friendships an...
A. 30 October 2013: You keep saying "nobody stood up for me"... That's not really anyone's job but yours.
... (read in full...)
Will my boyfriend lose interest when his son (to another woman) is born?
Q. My boyfriend is having a baby with his ex and is due very soon, I'm worried once the babys born me and my boyfriend will grow apart as he will be looking after his son and being there for his son, I don't want that to happen me and him are very ...
A. 30 October 2013: @Youwish: Is there something you know about this guy that's not being shared here? I can't believe the bitterness in your answer towards someone you know practically nothing about.
Pregnancy and relationships don't always go hand in hand. It... (read in full...)
What should I do about a guy I met online? He didn't reply to a text but had time to log in to dating site.
Q. Please need some advice! I have been going out with a guy I met online. He told me he only had one other girl friend in his life ( hes 37). He was quiet and seemed lovely. Well it's been 4 dates. As we have great chemistry he has spent the...
A. 30 October 2013: He's 37 and only had one girlfriend. This would be a red flag for me. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said "I love you" so quickly! How long does it take for them to know they're in love?
Q. I'm 18 years old. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months. He told me he loved me for the first time very early in our relationship (2 weeks) and it kinda freaked me out how early he said that. For a while I just wouldn't say it back ...
A. 30 October 2013: A lot of people care about everybody's happiness above their own, they're called people pleasers. That doesn't mean they love everyone.
To your question:
Some people say "I love you" as soon as they feel anything. I like to wait until I rea... (read in full...)
My jealousy and insecurities are ruining my relationship
Q. I create drama in my relationship because I'm insecure and jealous. And I'm on the last leg with my boyfriend because he hates being treated like he's done something wrong just because I feel insecure and paranoid. Any advice on how I can get past ...
A. 30 October 2013: You have to always be recognizing the problem and dealing with it in a specific way when it happens. Relax and remind yourself that he's never done anything to deserve your mistrust. In fact, it's probably the opposite.
Remind yourself that ins... (read in full...)
Should I believe that he wants me for more than just sex?
Q. Hi, I am from Malaysia. I met a Persian guy online. We talked for few days and he came to meet me up. I kinda like him and we were in love fast, till now its like a month we are together. I dont know him well, yesterday I was asking him about his...
A. 29 October 2013: I believe that he may actually like you for you, but it's hard to tell. If you wait a little longer you'll be able to find out. A month isn't that long, especially if you haven't been face to face for much of that time.
Why are you into long dis... (read in full...)
Has he stopped finding me sexually atrractive? What can I do to improve things in the bedroom?
Q. Im 22 and my boyfriends 23 we have been together for four years when we first got together we were having sex all the time but now its like he doesn't want to have sex with me ive tried sexy outfits and he just turns around and says what the point ...
A. 29 October 2013: I have some suggestions for spicing things up. I don't know either of you so they may be something you already do, or not, so it's up to you if you heed my advice.
First of all, I'd try to be more spontaneous. I know my wife gets bored of "its ... (read in full...)
Has he stopped finding me sexually atrractive? What can I do to improve things in the bedroom?
Q. Im 22 and my boyfriends 23 we have been together for four years when we first got together we were having sex all the time but now its like he doesn't want to have sex with me ive tried sexy outfits and he just turns around and says what the point ...
A. 29 October 2013: Well, I'm not sure of a solution, but as fatherly advice said, it's very common for women to assume it's because they're no longer attractive.
There's absolutely no reason to assume it's this, so don't convince yourself that's the problem.... (read in full...)
Is this marriage bad enough to justify my leaving?
Q. Long story, but here goes. I am a 21 year old Indian woman who had an arranged marriage to the (34-y/o)man of my dreams. Or so I thought. To give some background,I am an attractive woman who was very used to getting lots of male attention. Some...
A. 29 October 2013: LEAVE! What a lunatic. ... (read in full...)
Affair turned bad and now I don't know how to cope and be a good mom to my kids
Q. I had an affair with a man I met in April 2010.... He lives 3000 miles away but we talked and texted every day often for hours each day... We also met for get always several times.... We both declared the other was the love of our life and hoped one ...
A. 29 October 2013: Sometimes people just suck and there's not much you could do about it. You could tell his wife but I'm sure more than one movie has been made about the possible consequences of doing that.
I'd just block him in every way possible and even con... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being labeled "The Nice Guy"
Q. Now this isnt a post of how the jerks get the guys and nice guys dont ... ha lets be fair the main thing that women like in these is the confidence and assertieness that they have .. but what winds me up is Im never going to one of them guys , you ...
A. 29 October 2013: Women like nice CONFIDENT guys.
The best way to gain confidence with women is by having some success with them.
In order to do that you have to stop acting like if you're nice enough to them they'll like you.
Just ask someone out on a dat... (read in full...)
Am I allowed to have these thoughts towards a friend? The "what if" might have happened?
Q. ok so there's this friend of mine, lets call him *dave, who i get on with famously. but friday night he had far too much to drink and ended up making a pass at me. now thankfully he didn't force me or anything but he didn't exactly stop pre...
A. 29 October 2013: "Allowed"? Who is it that'd be allowing you? You can have those thoughts if you allow yourself to. Obviously you did, so yes, you're allowed.
Thoughts are thoughts. Don't worry about it... unless you action them your thoughts are really just fan... (read in full...)
LD Girlfriend with male bestfriend...
Q. I'm in a long distance relationship (on the game SecondLife), and my girlfriend has a male best friend on SecondLife. They have known eachother for 3 years now or so. She is the type that only has guys friends and admits it. I've only known her ...
A. 28 October 2013: Get a first life girlfriend, problem solved (not that there won't be new ones). ... (read in full...)
New relationship -- when do I tell her about my fetish?
Q. hi i have fetish for satin/silk and only get aroused when a female is wearing satin preferably nightdresses , i am considering a new relationship with a female of similar age to me but how do i go about telling her of my liking of satin/silk , i do ...
A. 28 October 2013: I don't know the answer to that, but maybe you need to try and rid yourself of a fetishes that makes functioning without it impossible... ... (read in full...)
Does being cheated on make you more likely to cheat?
Q. What do you think? My girlfriend's last boyfriend cheated on her. Would that make her more likely? Since her experience with her ex, she is very jealous with me. That is understandable. I wonder if that makes it more likely for her to cheat. ...
A. 28 October 2013: Insecurity can definitely lead to cheating. If she thinks you're going to cheat, she may be more likely to do it herself to sort of beat you to it. That way if you cheat she can feel better knowing she did already.
That being said, there is no ru... (read in full...)
Can he learn from this and remain faithful or am I dealing with a ticking time bomb?
Q. I found nasty texts on my boyfriend's phone to a friend of his about his pursuit of trying to find a woman to have sex with while I was out of town. He found a girl he was interested in while he was at a bar and proceeded to hit on her and relay the ...
A. 27 October 2013: My experience is that SOMETHING caused him to do this. Unless that something is changed, he's about 90% likely to do it again.
Is he bored? Are you neglecting him? Is he insecure and always needing attention? Or is he just a cheater no matter w... (read in full...)
What can I do about this controlling guy?
Q. i been with my significant other for 6 years and hes always been the jealous type, always in my business, wanting to know my facebook password, my email password my phone code to unlock my phone etc, doesnt want me to have friends and i have lost ...
A. 27 October 2013: What can you do? Dump him! That's such an obvious answer it's not even funny. ... (read in full...)
Gay and ginger, is there any hope?
Q. Hi all, I would be very grateful for any advice so here it goes. Im a 22 year old guy and I have just accepted that I am gay and I'm not out to anyone. I'm also very unfortunate to have Ginger hair too. I have been a quiet and shy guy all my life ...
A. 27 October 2013: Sorry, I knew you were gay but the women part just slipped out. ... (read in full...)
Affair turned bad and now I don't know how to cope and be a good mom to my kids
Q. I had an affair with a man I met in April 2010.... He lives 3000 miles away but we talked and texted every day often for hours each day... We also met for get always several times.... We both declared the other was the love of our life and hoped one ...
A. 27 October 2013: Look, you obviously went a little bit crazy after things started going bad with the other guy. It seems like you aren't better yet either. I question your judgment in every way, so I can only recommend therapy...... (read in full...)
Does she really want to go out?
Q. This girl I like now "used" to like me, I'm not sure if she still does or not, but she gives off the signs she does, and is interested in me still (possibly), but every time I ask her if she wants to come over, or go out to see a movie/eat sometime, ...
A. 27 October 2013: Move on. ... (read in full...)
Question to American Women and Men!
Q. I have some American friends and I have a question to American women and men. My male friends there tell me that women there love money only and all the men are afraid to have a relationship because they want to get marriaged fast and use the men´...
A. 27 October 2013: In general, women of all countries want money, as it is the equivalent of security which is something women have wanted since the beginning of time.
I have known women from all over and the majority want security.
As far as men being selfis... (read in full...)
Gay and ginger, is there any hope?
Q. Hi all, I would be very grateful for any advice so here it goes. Im a 22 year old guy and I have just accepted that I am gay and I'm not out to anyone. I'm also very unfortunate to have Ginger hair too. I have been a quiet and shy guy all my life ...
A. 27 October 2013: If gingers didn't get laid there wouldn't be any gingers. Anti ginger shit is just childish behavior, not a genuine dislike of red haired people.
Have confidence knowing that for some women you are the man of their dreams. Don't worry about th... (read in full...)
How can I get rid of my sex drive?
Q. I'm a 26 year-old single male, and I'm sick of my sex drive. Absolutely, 100% sick of it. People talk about sex like it's one of the great joys of life, but as far as I can tell, it's more burden than blessing. I'm sick of thinking about sex all the ...
A. 27 October 2013: It seems like this is a rhetorical question.
The real answer is GET A GRIP ON YOUR LIFE! Set some goals. Lose weight, work out, lift weights, eat healthy, get a job or a better job, work harder, do fun things, etc. Then, you might find yourself... (read in full...)
Is it normal for guys to ask their girlfriend for gifts at the start of a relationship?
Q. Is this normal for a guy to ask his girl friend to buy him gifts at the very beginning of their relationship and telling her what to buy for him? If she says no to buy then he remarked her as money minded? And if she buys, he becomes very happy and ...
A. 27 October 2013: Who knows or cares if it's normal. What's important is whether or not you like it and whether or not you want to be with someone like that.
For me it'd be "no" and "no". ... (read in full...)
Is asking your separated spouse for sex wrong, we were on very good terms
Q. My wife and I are separated for 4 years, it's a long story of infidelity on her part and neglect on my part. I have accepted the situation for what it is and to help keep peace in the family. We have 2 adult children. Recently she asked me to go ...
A. 27 October 2013: You aren't the smoothest guy are you? How many women are seduced by "Come in and have sex with me."?
I bet that the guys she has slept with since put in a little more effort than that. And it also probably explains some of the cheating (not tha... (read in full...)
How do I tell him I'm ready for him to enter "through the front door?"
Q. Hi, So I'm ready to have vaginal sex with my boyfriend. We've done oral and anal. Before him, I had only done oral so he was my first for the backdoor. I'm ready for him to enter through the front too haha The problem is that I'm not sure how...
A. 27 October 2013: I have to disagree with iamheretohelpyou on this one... Not everyone is comfortable talking about sex. It's just the way some people are, but why should that prevent an adult from enjoying the act? In what way is enjoying sex dependent on being able ... (read in full...)
Should I write him a letter to explain how I feel?
Q. Is what I'm about to do a terrible idea? I want to write a guy a love letter of sorts. He's a good friend of mine I met last year, and although we hardly actually see each other, I talk to him on facebook and he always responds enthusiastically. He ...
A. 26 October 2013: What would be the point? "Hey, I have a huge crush on you but I'll probably never see you again. Bye!"
My opinion is that there needs to be a reason. I'm also not a big fan of revealing your feelings unless your sure they're mutual, as it can o... (read in full...)
Am I wasting my time sending her presents?
Q. I have a childhood friend on whom I had a huge crush. I met her after 12 years on facebook.. she is studying thousand miles away from me... I proposed her on the 3rd day.. She said no.. Then after one month I sent an expensive leather clutch.....
A. 26 October 2013: You don't love her and you obviously don't know what love is yet. That's a good thing because it'll help you get over her. Stop contacting her... There's no reason to continue.
Or you could just start sending her cash, it's up to you.
Next ti... (read in full...)
How do I tell him I'm ready for him to enter "through the front door?"
Q. Hi, So I'm ready to have vaginal sex with my boyfriend. We've done oral and anal. Before him, I had only done oral so he was my first for the backdoor. I'm ready for him to enter through the front too haha The problem is that I'm not sure how...
A. 26 October 2013: Well, you could just be straightforward and say it when you're about to have sex.
Talk dirty to him, tell him what you want, it'll drive him wild.
Or, if you're too embarrassed you could telepathically send the message. Or write a note tha... (read in full...)
Do men truly still value virginity or do they see it as something to run away from?
Q. Do men truly still value virginity or do they see it as something to run away from? I'm going to be 21 soon and haven't even been kissed. My best guy friend who's a man whore tells me virginity sucks and romance is dead. He said he'd sleep with me ...
A. 26 October 2013: It all depends on the guy and what point he's at in his life.
The two issues I have with virginity are that they might be more into a serious commitment right away and that they might eventually feel like they missed out if they only slept wi... (read in full...)
My period is due when I've arranged to see my fwb
Q. I'm supposed to be going round to my fwb's place this weekend but I'm due my period within the next few days. If it hasn't arrived when I go round should I warn him I'm due on or not mention anything and just hope it doesn't? What do the guys ...
A. 26 October 2013: It doesn't seem like something worth putting too much thought into. If you're bleeding too much, don't have sex with him. If it's just a little bit and you feel comfortable, let him make the call. If you're not bleeding yet proceed as usual. ... (read in full...)
Want to become friends, but I don't want to come across as creepy
Q. There's this girl who I graduated from hs last year who I'm following on twitter. We barely talked in hs but she seems really cool and nice and I would like to be friends. I've been feeling really lonely since I started college and haven't really ...
A. 26 October 2013: Do you have any real world contact with her or do you have to "ask her out" via Twitter? ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to have hair there? How do I tell her?
Q. I'm 26 years old and I have been with my girlfriend who is 24 for 5 months now and we are a stage of absolute relaxation around each other, she is the most amazing person I have ever been with, she is so kind, she is caring, she is funny and just ...
A. 25 October 2013: Asus hair is a serious medical condition that can be cured only by two things: shaving/waxing or ignoring it. ... (read in full...)
My vagina is very wet and it makes an irritating sound!
Q. I have a problem with my vagina,everytime when i have sex it becomes too wet and makes an irritating sound which makes me not to enjoy...
A. 25 October 2013: My wife's is the same way and I love it. Try to learn to appreciate your body and be less critical of it.
Hers doesn't make a lot of sound, other than the obvious wet sex ones, so I'm not sure if that's what you're referring to but i assume i... (read in full...)
I don't know if this is love!
Q. I have been marriaged for 12 years and I moved to another part of the country because of my husband. No friends,only his freinds and family. My family was far away from me,so I saw them once a year. I made some friends but nothing serious. At the ...
A. 25 October 2013: I think the reason you haven't got any answers to your question is because you didn't really ask one... Normally you'd still receive some general advice, but you have so much going on here that even that is difficult.
I'll try to offer a few sugg... (read in full...)
Does FWB never lead to a relationship?
Q. If a man only wants friends with benefits, does that mean he will never want a relationship? I was wondering if it's possible for a man to change his mind and want a relationship with you?. I know a man who wanted friends with benefits with me...
A. 24 October 2013: Anything is possible, but in all honesty, he doesn't seem interested in beginning a relationship with you right now. So if you're not willing to be a fwb then how will you find out? ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling depressed and taken for granted. Please help me to deal with this?
Q. I have been with my partner for 5 years now. We have had an ok relationship, it's had its good parts and its bad but we've usually battled on together. Recently i have come to realise that it is likely that I have depression. On top of this I feel ...
A. 24 October 2013: It's probably both. Also, blaming him won't help you, it'll only make things worse. Take the initiative to improve things and reignite your "flame". I also suggest relationship counseling. ... (read in full...)
My parents abandoned me and now they are asking me for help! Please help me deal with the anger?
Q. I have a little issue - I was raised by my grandmother because I am the 1st born child and both my parents remarried after I was born. I never really had much contact with both of them growing up and actually thought my grandma was my mother until I ...
A. 24 October 2013: What sucks about this, and what makes it really heart breaking, is that many kids feel like there's something wrong with them when their parents abandon them. I have two little ones, and let me tell you that there is nothing in this world that could ... (read in full...)
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