How do I leave my wife and my children?
Q. Dear Cupid, How can I leave my wife and two kids? I know these columns are normally reserved for women , but being a man with out any one to talk to and with a story I want to share with you I feel, I can tell no one else in the world, not my br...
A. 9 December 2013: I doubt your wife is happy either, heck, she may be having an affair too if you never have sex. The people who you should be concerned with are the innocent little ones you have. Think of what's best for them. It's not what's happening now, I can ... (read in full...)
Dont know should I get back with my ex?? Advice!
Q. Hi, So this summer i have broken up with my boyfriend and i told him honestly it is because he is not social enough and kinda boring and because im young i wanna have fun. And he fell in love with me so i kinda broke his heart and of course i felt b...
A. 9 December 2013: No, no, no. You very clearly know what the problem was and what made you break up with him. He hasn't changed, he just happened to be with a group he felt very comfortable with or he was trying to show you he can change.
And dating him casually... (read in full...)
Boyfriend makes me out to be a nag...am I?
Q. Dear Cupid, I've been seeing a guy for around 6 months. At around 5 months in, he mentioned he was looking to buy somewhere in future and live on his own or with his sister. I asked him about this as I thought if things worked out between us that ...
A. 8 December 2013: The definition of 'nag' really depends on the person. So YES, you are a nag if the person you're it thinks you are. That doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. I think in this case it means that the two of you might have incompatible ambitions in ... (read in full...)
Can a guy be really sweet to you and yet not think of you when he's masturbating?
Q. I don't know this has been asked.... How can a guy open doors for you, pay for drinks, stare longingly into your eyes, drive you around, hug you and not think you about when masturbating? It hurts thinking about it. Is it because I'm not...
A. 8 December 2013: The only problem I see here is your insecurity. The guy is obviously way into you so why are you trying to find things to prove otherwise?
And please explain that last part.
To answer your question, it's likely that he's not only thinking of... (read in full...)
I'm interested in relationship and not friendship, how do I show that to her?
Q. Hi. I have recently met a lovely girl and I seem to fancy her. She's studying same course as I'm but she joined this year. I have her number and hung out with her, made her laugh and everything seems to go nicely . We seem to get along pretty goo...
A. 6 December 2013: Why wouldn't she go on a date? And if she truly wouldn't, which seems wierd, then you obviously have no hope. If she has told you something like that it's because she's not interested, not because she's foreign. ... (read in full...)
What can I say to make things better with my fiancée, and why have I upset her so much?
Q. My fiancee is not speaking to me apart from to say she thinks we should break up. It all started the other day when we were going to a Sci Fi convention. She was ok to go with me but I could tell she was a bit bored. When we got home, I asked her if ...
A. 6 December 2013: You are pretty clueless...
The marriage comment was unbelievably dumb, but you know that by now.
The real issue is that you watch porn more often than you have sex with your UNSATISFIED fiance. A good way to ruin a relationship is ... (read in full...)
How many is too many?
Q. How many sexual partners is bad by the age of 18? I was 18 at the end of July and I've slept with 8 people and had additional sexual partners. I was just wondering is this bad already, or if not, at what point does it get bad?...
A. 6 December 2013: It's only bad if:
A. You think it is.
B. You aren't using protection.
C. You get an STD or get pregnant, assuming you don't want either.
D. You meet a guy who you really like but he's turned off by it.
... (read in full...)
Why is it that nice guys don't finish at all?
Q. Why is it that it used to be that nice guys finished last. But it seems like now nice guys don't finish last, they don't finish at all, and are prevented to do so? I'm really just looking for girls answers....
A. 5 December 2013: Well, I can tell you right now that you shouldn't bother giving your number to a girl unless you got hers as well. Even if she's interested she'll probably never call you, women prefer to be chased, not do the chasing. Especially when they don't ... (read in full...)
Can our relationship last with his friends and family hating me and blaming me for the problems we've had, when my B/f was clearly in the wrong?
Q. Is there any hope for our relationship? I had a wonderful relationship with my partner for the first 5 years, then in the fifth year I found out he'd been meeting up with an ex partner. They both swore nothing happened but they had met several ...
A. 5 December 2013: What are you going to do about it? Your only two choices are break up or deal with it. So just deal with it.
It's common for people to vent their frustrations with their significant other when speaking to friends and family, and it obviousl... (read in full...)
How can I help my boyfriend feel less guilty and not worry about me?
Q. Hi y'all! I have poted here numerous times regarding me leaving an abusive relationship! I am dating a really amazing guy now that I met at law school. He is on a trip with his firm in NY, and I will be facing my abuser in court tomorr...
A. 5 December 2013: I'm sure he's fine, he's just trying to be a nice, supportive boyfriend. ... (read in full...)
Why is it that nice guys don't finish at all?
Q. Why is it that it used to be that nice guys finished last. But it seems like now nice guys don't finish last, they don't finish at all, and are prevented to do so? I'm really just looking for girls answers....
A. 5 December 2013: Are you looking for sympathy or answers?
By your depressing logic every nice guy in the world is single. Do you honestly believe that to be true?
The problem is that some guys, particularly "nice guys", think that being nice should be enough... (read in full...)
How do you keep a man happy?
Q. This may be a stupid question but how do you keep a man happy? What makes a relationship work and last? I've been with my bf for 7 months and I really care about him and don't want to lose him, I want to continue to make him happy and make o...
A. 5 December 2013: Definitely be yourself... But the best version if yourself that you can be.
Don't take the things he does for you for granted or he'll stop doing them.
Do nice things for him that show you care.
Never stop dating!
Never stop giving hi... (read in full...)
I'm worried if I have a serious health problem that my fiance will be getting cheated
Q. I have a problem that I am feeling very unsure about. I am getting married soon and my life with my partner is fantastic. I love her to bits. She is beautiful inside and out, caring, loving, and I have never been happier. We have a big wedding pl...
A. 5 December 2013: My mom has ms, and is in a wheelchair most of the time. Fortunately for her, she wasn't the most active person in the world before, but it's still very difficult for her and maybe even more so for my dad who's essentially her caregiver.
Howev... (read in full...)
My guy friend acted liked a jealous boyfriend and now he won't speak to me!
Q. I had a really good guy friend who started out a perfect gentleman and he made it abundantly clear our relationship was strictly platonic, so it seemed. After a while he started to become jealous and possessive. Every time he'd hear me commenti...
A. 5 December 2013: Who knows? He's a possessive jerk's, that's the bottom line. He's obviously not a gentleman, just a guy pretending to be one. ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid this woman might out of jealousy try to turn my tutor against me
Q. I'm almost finished a PhD programme and have to meet regularly as part of this with a particular group of people, led by a couple of tutors, to debate various issues. I love attending the group and I know that most people at college like and ...
A. 4 December 2013: Jeez, you're blaming her for all these things that haven't happened... I think that she may need to look out for you!
Have you ever considered the possibility that she just doesn't think the two of you would make good friends?
Why do you ju... (read in full...)
The safe option vs. the one you really want?
Q. Hi, I wonder if any girl has had this situation before? My female best friend I've known for a long, long time. We talk a lot, especially relationships. She asks my opinions on blokes she dates and vice versa. She met a guy two years ago ...
A. 3 December 2013: Scientists have proven that most women feel that butterflies are good for flings, but they tend to choose safe men for long term relationships because they are more likely to be better providers and more reliable (or at least that's women's ... (read in full...)
Why would two grown men want to play a video game as nothing but sexy dressed characters if it wasn't for the sexiness?
Q. I've been with my bf for 3 years. We're both in our 30's. We don't live together. Anyway, sometimes I feel he's a pervert. lol. I know this sounds silly, and especially at my age, but almost every thing we watch together has T and A in it. He also ...
A. 3 December 2013: Welcome to the reality of dating your boyfriend. Love is easy to find, compatibility is not. As you're finding out, this is a pretty big issue and it seems to be a deal breaker, but that's your call.
If you stay, you're just going to have to ... (read in full...)
What am I doing wrong?
Q. I think I am doing something wrong when it comes to dating. Every time I am with a girl I seem to screw it up or the circumstance won't let me advance further. For example, the other day I was in a party and I was hanging with a girl who seemed to ...
A. 3 December 2013: Yeah, you definitely took her hostage, that was a mistake unless you had a brilliant idea to go along with it.
I don't agree that you should make friends first, that's not always an option and when you find the right person you shouldn't let the ... (read in full...)
Why has he moved on so quick if he really loved me?
Q. I have ended a very turbulent relationship, which went on for over three years, due to his continued determination to continue using dating sites, while at the same time swearing blind that he loves me. After being broken up, for less than two week...
A. 3 December 2013: You really have no idea if he's moved on or not, since twitter is just what people choose to show. Maybe he's using her to get over you or to make you jealous? Maybe he's just insecure and codependent? Maybe he was seeing her before you broke up?
... (read in full...)
Should I be worried that my boyfriend isn't ready for marriage at least for the next 5 years? I'm almost 30!!
Q. my boyfriend and i have been together a little over a year..we are 29 years old. It is the best relationship i have ever been in. He is the most caring genuine man I have ever been with. I know with all my heart he is the person for me. We are very ...
A. 3 December 2013: It sounds like you're the problem here. I don't see anything wrong with what he said. People, regardless of age, should date longer than a year before getting married. Before a year you're in a honeymoon phase, you put up with things that will drive ... (read in full...)
I don't want to start a relationship with her, only to find she's crazy!
Q. Ok so I've met a girl and we get on really well. I want to ask her out, but there is a problem: Some people I know, who also know her, have told me she is a little crazy. Apparently she caused a whole load of problems with her ex boyfriend, and some ...
A. 2 December 2013: Well, try dating her for a little bit and take this slow. I doubt she's an axe murderer, the word 'crazy' is used a little too liberally. ... (read in full...)
Why isn't she my girlfriend even after seven months of dating?
Q. I have been dating this girl for about 7 months, and within the first month of dating, I asked her to be my girlfriend, but she said she wanted to take it slow. This is because she has gone through some rough things in her past, so I understood. We ...
A. 2 December 2013: The only thing you should worry about is if you are dating each other exclusively. Labels are for clothing.
Honestly though, she might not see you as a good partner for the long term. Maybe you fit well in her current situation but she doesn't ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lied about meeting his ex and now I don't trust him
Q. How can I sort my own trust issues out? I need help before it ruins my relationship. Sorry this is very long! Bit of background: I have had 3 serious relationships. All 3 of my ex partners have cheated on me in varying degrees - one had a coup...
A. 2 December 2013: Remember that sometimes people lie, not because they're cheating, but because they don't want to fight about what they were doing or hurt the other person's feelings.
You don't have evidence he cheated, just evidence he lied. So it comes down to ... (read in full...)
I feel my boyfriend must change certain things. We've talked. What else can I do?
Q. I am 19 (soon 20 in a month). I am in serious relationship with my bf for 2 yrs we were happy couple with ups and down in life, after graduation we wanna settle down, now the problem is his nature. He is caring when it comes to my health, looks an...
A. 2 December 2013: He's made it clear that he's not going to change, so you can either accept who he is and stop having "talks" with him, or leave and find someone you're compatible with, because it's definitely not him.
Staying and continuing to complain about th... (read in full...)
How can I prove I'm not messing around?
Q. I have met up with this girl. We were getting on fine for a month, then I stayed there one night, and the next morning. She asked me to leave, she said she was unwell. I left and rang her in a hour, she told me that I was cheating on her, while I ...
A. 2 December 2013: Assuming that the texts were innocent in nature, then there's no way to prove you're not cheating because logic is irrelevant to this woman. ... (read in full...)
Sex life with fianceé is suffering. How important is sex to women in a relationship?
Q. I just want to know how important sex is to women in a relationship, and also if it is important to them to maintain a healthy relationship. My fiance and I just got engaged a few weeks ago and we've been together for a year and a half. The first ...
A. 30 November 2013: If someone doesn't find sex enjoyable (either because of pain or boredom) it's going to start happening less and less.
What you should do is invest in lube and discover some new techniques together that make things more comfortable for her. Als... (read in full...)
He believes what people told him about me and wants a divorce
Q. So my husband was in Afghanistan for 9 months. He just recently got back. Some ppl I know told him I had been cheating on him, which I didn't. He is so cold now, and just wants a divorce. We don't talk, he has changed so much. Should I just get a ...
A. 30 November 2013: Something I learned a long time ago is that people almost never say things like this when they're not true. The exception is if they're nuts. So, maybe your husband learned the same lesson and doesn't believe that they are nuts...
Hones... (read in full...)
Why did he act so interested and then suddenly back off?
Q. Hi, There is a guy at work whom I have liked for a while. I am on a dating site online, and one evening, I saw a photo of a guy on this site and clicked on it, and it was this guy I work with ! Shocked at seeing his profile, I didnt initiate...
A. 30 November 2013: Why are you into him one minute then ignoring his texts the next? ... (read in full...)
How to stop thinking about sex with this guy?
Q. After my boyfriend and I broke up, I sought out a rebound, and the guy that presented himself to me was a 32 year old unemployed cocaine addict with a kid. I am 20 years old, from an upper-middle class professional family, in college, working ...
A. 28 November 2013: I don't know what exactly happened that made the sex great, but why don't you learn from it? You don't need to force yourself to stop thinking about it, but you do need to stop seeing him.
You can fantasize if you want, there's no harm in that.... (read in full...)
Female co-worker causing trouble at work. Why don't someone confront her?
Q. Hi. I am frustrated. Lately we have been having trouble at work. We are a bunch of girls that work together so of course you would expect some bitchiness. However for two years the team has been running very smoothly until the very arrival ...
A. 28 November 2013: Speaking of gibberish, I had a hard time understanding what is going on, but I don't think it matters. Why don't you confront her? If you feel it needs to be done, why is it someone else's job?... (read in full...)
Problems with neighbour - how would you handle this?
Q. Hello. I would like to know how you would handle this situation. I live above a young male who is intolerant of his neighbours making any sounds. Whenever we do make sounds, he bangs the walls. I get the most of it though, since I live right above...
A. 26 November 2013: Leave a note on his door telling him that if he wants total quiet he needs to move out of an apartment building and into a cabin in the woods.
Tell him that no matter how much he bangs on the walls, yiu will be doing things that make noise, s... (read in full...)
Can you advice how can a person help himself to stop loving the wrong person?
Q. Unfortunately, I started to have feelings for the wrong person and I am very tormented. I'm a very realistic person and I don't like to see things that don't exist. At times, I would feel that he likes me by the way he looks at me and talk to me. At ...
A. 26 November 2013: The best advice I can give is to stop waiting on the sidelines, gather some courage, and ask him out.
Feeling sorry for yourself doesn't make a lot of sense when you haven't don't much to better the situation.
If he says no, then you can be ... (read in full...)
I consider her a friend, yet she says I'm using her. Any advice on how to deal with this?
Q. I met this girl at an AA meeting and she was really cute and flirty at first. We started talking, went to a midnight meeting and I took her back to my apartment and we made snacks. She ended up spending the night and we made out and when we got t...
A. 26 November 2013: Some people just feel like victims. If you've been clear with her about the type of relationship you have and she understands, then you're not using her in the sense she means. Using her would be if you were giving her hope that a relationship was a ... (read in full...)
She treats her friends better than me. I'm tired of doing all the giving. Time to end things?
Q. Hello Guy, I need some help. I'm a 24 year old young man who's about to finish up college in May. I'm at a point where I'm trying to make the decision to cut certain people out of my life because I don't need any unnecessary stress. This inc...
A. 25 November 2013: Who cares or knows if you're right or wrong, but one thing is for sure, you're not happy, and being with someone who you feel is selfish is causing it. Since she'll never change, you'll never be happy with her. ... (read in full...)
Sex issue, possibly? Want some reassuring words I guess.
Q. I need some advice as to whether I overreacted or if he was throwing hints because I'm feeling kind of stupid and inadequate. Okay, my boyfriend and I have been together 3 years. We're both in our early 30's. Our sex life has been generally good ...
A. 25 November 2013: You know what, I agree with the first answer; you have an anger problem... I'm sure you won't agree, but it's written very clearly in your question, and your boyfriend is absolutely right when he says that you're taking things the wrong way.
... (read in full...)
How could his kissing someone else have helped with my trust issues?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for just over a year. In this time I have suffered a bit of anxiety which has led to me being insecure and distrustful and spying on him and his internet history, accusing him and being quite needy and creating drama in ...
A. 25 November 2013: It's because you came to the realization that you were literally pushing him away with your insecurity, AND you probably realized that it's not the end of the world if something like this happens. The fear of the unknown causes many insecure people ... (read in full...)
We know the relationship will end, so why would he take some of what time we have left for travel?
Q. My boyfriend is here as an exchange student. From the beginning, he made sure, that what he can certainly give is this one semester. After that, he has no idea what will happen. There was a chance he might stay here for internship, he might go to ...
A. 25 November 2013: One or two extra days is nice, but so is a couple of extra months... it's got to end somewhere.
He has an opportunity to spend a few days in New York, and that may be a once in a lifetime opportunity, what with visas being hard to come by somet... (read in full...)
What do you do when the girl you love, loves someone else?
Q. I am single,the old adage is I have really fancied this girl at work for so long, over a year in fact.We always have such a laugh, talk for ages we have so much in common it just feels right talking to her. I never did anything because she had a ...
A. 25 November 2013: I think you are behaving kind of immature about it. She's not leading you on... You had your chance and you didn't take it. If you really like someone, you don't make those kind of mistakes.
At this point if you can deal with working with her... (read in full...)
Girlfriend says she wants to sow her wild oats
Q. I have been with the most wonderful girl for 3 years now. She is a good complement to me and I to her. We moved in together 2 years ago and we have talked of marriage and having a family. However, there is a problem and that is that our sex lif...
A. 24 November 2013: You guys aren't sexually compatible... It's probably your lack of experience, possibly selfishness, who knows. It's probably too late to fix it now unless she gives you another shot.
The best course of action, undoubtedly, is to break up with her... (read in full...)
Is it acceptable for other girls to seek comfort from my boyfriend?
Q. Is it appropriate for other girls to come to my boyfriend for comfort and advice? My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. Early on in the relationship, he told me he didn't have many female friends and didn't have much contact with girls ...
A. 24 November 2013: If you think it's okay, then it's okay, if you don't think it's okay, then it's probably not.
That doesn't mean that you should be controlling him though, because on the other hand, if he thinks it's appropriate than it is, and you guys might ju... (read in full...)
Now that we're married I find he has habits I can't tolerate
Q. Hi everyone, I've been feeling so unsettled since I married two years ago. Didn't live together b4 and now some things annoy me terribly. He drinks every day. I didn't realise how anxious I'd be about this. He's the kind of guy who can't have a ...
A. 23 November 2013: If you've tried talking to him about it, and still had no luck, then it's time for a professional.
You may just be too different to be married, but it's best to try and work things out as best you can.
I'm curious: you knee he did these thi... (read in full...)
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