Is it better for me to forgive my ex or hate him?
Q. I was with my ex for 4 years(including 2 years LDR). We're in different countries. We planned to meet after he graduated from graduate school and while we're dating, he gave me commitment and talked about getting married. He dumped me 6 months ago, ...
A. 25 December 2013: There's no point in hating him. He broke up with you, it happens.
It doesn't sound like he was mean about it either. It could be that you guys not meeting for so long wore on him and he fell out of love. People need intimacy and closenes... (read in full...)
26 never had a boyfriend, no confidence.
Q. Okay so I'm 26, I've never had a boyfriend, I've never been kissed or even been on a date. I was always very popular when I was little but we moved away from my home. People started bullying me and I lost all my confidence. I was called ugly and fat ...
A. 25 December 2013: What's hurting you isn't your looks, it's your confidence. I doubt you're as bad as you think, but even if you are, there are plenty of "fat and ugly" people who get as much action as they want.
However, being depressed with no self esteem i... (read in full...)
No one's asked to be exclusive, so ...
Q. This question is for people who are okay with premarital sex: I am single and in college. I am sort of seeing two guys. I have had sex with both of them and have gone on lunch dates and have even stayed over at their houses as well as just "hanging ...
A. 25 December 2013: That's why it's called dating. Just like you don't restrict yourself to only applying to one job at a time, you don't have to feel bad about dating more than one guy at a time.
When the time comes and you realize that you like one of them eno... (read in full...)
I don't want to be alone anymore.
Q. If I'm trying to find my first g/f, or in general first date, etc... What places should I go, library, book store, when I'm at the park on a walk? I'm feeling out of options here, I just don't really want to be alone anymore. If anyone has anything ...
A. 24 December 2013: I would suggest that your problem isn't where to go, it's being too shy. If you're not asking women out, that's where you need to change.
Women won't see you at a library and think that they need to approach you and ask you out, so if that's w... (read in full...)
She kept looking, but didn't return my smile. Was she was interested and should I try to find her again?
Q. I have noticed this very good looking girl on the underground a few times. So the last time I managed to sit almost opposite her on a full train. She definitely kept looking at me every few minutes, looking away a few seconds after I caught her g...
A. 24 December 2013: Maybe they were looking at something behind you. ... (read in full...)
Why do girls seem to prefer, and date, the guys who are cocky, arrogant, stubborn jock types?
Q. Why oh why do girls prefer the cocky, arrogant, stubborn jock types? Is it because they assume their children together will be born with a lightning bolt in their hands? Girls have done pretty skewed ways of finding guys thinking that they are bett...
A. 24 December 2013: You must prefer girls who prefer guys who are like that. I know a ton of women who can't stand them just like I know a lot of guys who can't stand blonde bimbos. ... (read in full...)
Will he always be a cheater?
Q. So I have met this guy through one of my coworkers a year and a half ago and we went out for drinks and he quoted ur "beautiful" and I said thank you and didnt make a move since he had a gf and obviously he lives in New York and I live in Boston. ...
A. 24 December 2013: Of course he wants sex. He knows that even if you say your old fashioned, you may sleep with him and claim you never do this type of thing.
I'm not trying to stereotype you, it's just my experience and likely his as well. ... (read in full...)
He said I was being controlling ....
Q. I lost a friendship with one of my very good friends. We got in a big fight and both stopped talking to each other. I deleted her of off my facebook, and asked my boyfriend (of 2 years) to do the same. Instead he said i was being controlling and we ...
A. 24 December 2013: Absolutely that's controlling. Telling someone who they can be friends with is always controlling unless there's a good reason, ie they're dangerous, or something equally important.... (read in full...)
I've always wanted to be with her but now she is damaged goods
Q. Hi, ive been trying to see some one, but she's working alot of over time right now, so thats her excuse for not calling or texting. We gone out a couple times in the last two months, we were talking alot, an texting, but not now, ive been trying ...
A. 23 December 2013: It sounds like she's not interested in a relationship. If she was she wouldn't be making it so difficult. ... (read in full...)
It bothers me we do nothing together .....
Q. Hey everyone, So my boyfriend and I have been having some major issues. we've been fighting a lot! The major thing is we never do anything. this is our routine every day during the week. He works 11pm -7am and I work 11:30am-5:30pm. he gets off...
A. 22 December 2013: He has it priorities and helping your relationship to grow is not one of his. You have already talked to him about it and he doesn't seem to think it's important.
There are plenty of affordable things you could do together, he's just not interest... (read in full...)
Did I overreact over his drunk texts?
Q. My boyfriend went out drinking yesterday. We had some disagreement two days ago. He first texted me if I was having a bad week back then, which I told him I did before. So I just simply replied "yes". He then texted me "I hope your week gets b...
A. 22 December 2013: I think you over reacted. He said something nice to you and instead of appreciating it you chose to get upset.
I don't find offense with "kid" either, that's just how some people talk. ... (read in full...)
How can I appreciate myself despite being faced with prejudice over being a black African.
Q. The negative opinion of black Africans and the negative reaction to to black people has me feeling bad about myself. I've been able to spend more time on the internet and increased social awareness has left me struggling to be happy with my race and ...
A. 22 December 2013: Or you could be white and suffer from white guilt or feel that your race is boring or uncool.
You could be Asian and feel embarrassed of the math nerd, submissive, small manhood stereotypes thrown your way.
You could be Hispanic and fee... (read in full...)
Sex doesn't feel good for me, why?
Q. I have recently lost my virginity... We have had sex 3 other times since then. It does not fee; good for me whatsoever, its not really painful unless he goes deep inside but I'm curious if its normal that Im not enjoying it yet. I just feel Im too ...
A. 21 December 2013: I'm not a woman but I've heard women say, more times than I can count, that sex wasn't enjoyable for quite awhile.
For guys it's easy, but women need to be more comfortable, relaxed, horny, etc.
Over time you get the hang of it. It's also li... (read in full...)
She didn't seem like a virgin when we had sex!
Q. I have not too much experience with girls, Ive been dating this girl for a while. We dated and we had oral but not nothing further. then after a few dates later she finally decided to have sex with me. Not long ago she told me she bought online a ...
A. 21 December 2013: How many virgins have you slept with to know what they seem like?
Every person is different, even virgins. ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to save our relationship!
Q. Dear Cupid I am with my bf for 3 years. I am still not feeling secured in the relationship, he often throws words like im bored with u, i would like to take a break, i would like to hug my boss (lady) very tight, my lady boss has big b..bs, thing...
A. 21 December 2013: What is there to save? You're dating an insensitive jerk, and for whatever reason you crave his approval. Realize the unhealthy reality of this situation and find a good guy. ... (read in full...)
He says his use of gay sex sites is an addiction
Q. I'm engaged to this really wonderful man. We've been in a relationship for 2 years and counting. We hit off really well as a couple and have had really good times together. The problem started when I discovered that he had online sex chats with ...
A. 20 December 2013: "Well, the main problem here isn't that if he's gay or not. The problem is if I should leave or stay and help him out with this addiction problem of his."
Uhhhh, it seems like part of the problem is your refusal to admit that this is more than a s... (read in full...)
How do I diplomatically bring up the issue of her lying?
Q. hello. can anyone give me advice on how to deal with my lying girlfriend? we've been together for over a year now and she's never been the lying type, but i've got some proof that recently, she's been lying to me about something (not too major)....
A. 19 December 2013: You don't sound like a bad guy but that's a rediculous thing to be upset about.
She was probably just using her laptop a minute before bed like so many people do. ... (read in full...)
What do women in particular think of a guy who's 30 and never had a girlfriend?
Q. Anyway, I want to hear some opinions. Guys are welcome to comment, but I think that girls may be able to offer me some valuable insight as to what exactly my problem is, and whether or not anything can be done about it. I've always been rath...
A. 18 December 2013: You could really benefit from therapy. ... (read in full...)
I feel so used -- he dropped me as soon as we slept together
Q. Hello, I understand this is probably a trivial and common question, but it is really getting me down as this has never happened to me before. I met this guy and we got talking, we had a in depth conversation and he was really sweet. We changed ...
A. 18 December 2013: I agree that when you want more than sex you need to wait a little bit. Not because "this is what happens if you sleep with a guy too soon", but because this is what CAN happen. Not all guys will do this.
But, the guys that are prone to using wo... (read in full...)
Has anyone ever out there ever cheated and changed his/her ways?
Q. I've been having thoughts of guilt because I cheated on my bf 5 months ago. He obviously found out and he broke up with me. I was aware that what I was doing was wrong, but I still kept on cheating because I didn't feel sexually attracted to him ...
A. 18 December 2013: In your case there is an easy fix: when you find yourself drifting away from someone, leave them. Even if you love them it's the right thing to do, because you're obviously no longer compatible.
Finding someone who you're both in love with AND... (read in full...)
If it's true love, will he ever get bored of me?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months. I've been with many guys before him and I know this sounds dumb but nobody else gave me this feeling of satisfaction and love that I get from being with him. This relationship feels different from ...
A. 18 December 2013: Everything you brought up is a possibility, so is dying in a car crash on your way to the store. You can't live your life in fear, just drive as well as you can, and be the best girlfriend you can. ... (read in full...)
How do I diplomatically bring up the issue of her lying?
Q. hello. can anyone give me advice on how to deal with my lying girlfriend? we've been together for over a year now and she's never been the lying type, but i've got some proof that recently, she's been lying to me about something (not too major)....
A. 17 December 2013: Stop worrying so much about her feelings, she's the one who lied. Show her your proof, and ask her why she lied.
I agree, a description of the lie and what proof you have would be beneficial in answering. ... (read in full...)
Marriage being damaged by wife's male friend who has now stayed for more than 2 months
Q. I have been married for 2 years, I am 41 and my wife is 30. We have always been amazing together, and I thought we were happy. We recently started trying for kids, which was her idea, as I was never going to push her until she was ready. She has ...
A. 17 December 2013: You are indeed fighting for your marriage. Your first mistake was letting another man live with you guys. After realizing that mistake, you tried to be diplomatic, but that didn't work. Now you need to give him a date to leave by and stick to it. If ... (read in full...)
She said they only marry their own ........
Q. Some of you have read part of my story but this is a continuation. I have dated my boyfriend for 7-1/2 years who is divorced with two grown up kids. I am 26 and he's 40. Furthermore we are not from the same culture he is Armenian and im hispanic. He ...
A. 16 December 2013: It sounds like you've reached a sort of deal breaker point. The bottom line is that if you're not happy and have no long term commitment, then what's the point?
I hope this doesn't sour you on dating other cultures. Not everyone is like this. An... (read in full...)
He's accusing me of adultery, with him, because I'm not yet divorced. We have so many issues. Is this abusive situation resolvable?
Q. My issue is, I been together with my bf for over 2years now, but on and off. It's our first baby, i left him and get a new house where we can live with my baby. we have a big fight all the time,thats why i left . I gave him so many chances,...
A. 16 December 2013: The question you should ask yourself is why are you with him? What does he give you?
Don't mention love or anything I'm talking about more sensible things like happiness, he's supportive, he's good to you, he makes you feel beautiful, he provides... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is still friends with a woman he had sex with. Do I have the right to tell him not to stay friends?
Q. I've been in a relationship for over a year woth my boyfriend and we just had a disagreement because he recently told me about a women he slept with and still friends with. He says that she has always been their for him and has been a good friend. ...
A. 16 December 2013: You can do whatever you want, you do have the right. I don't think it makes a lot of sense though, and it won't strengthen your relationship, only weaken it.
If you trust him, then trust him to not sleep with her. If he does then dump him and ... (read in full...)
How do I get this girl to give me a chance?
Q. I tried to send this in before, but it was rejected. I will try to shorten it up (it was long because I wanted to give as much detail as possible and try to present HER side of the story), and I will try to make it more clear. I am at my wit...
A. 16 December 2013: This chick is obviously not interested in being with you other than VERY casually. Even then she doesn't sound too interested, just like she's waiting until someone better comes along.
There's nothing you can do to change this, she's just not... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't like gay people
Q. My boyfriend has some troubling attitudes on life, and I don't know what I can do (if anything) about it. The one that comes to the forefront more often than others is that he dislikes gay people. Not to the point where he would commit hate crim...
A. 15 December 2013: As stated, you're not his therapist. You could help him find one, but I doubt he'd be interested.
Personally, there are only a few things that are immediate deal breaker for me: racism, homophobia, and smoking. So I'd be out of there. ... (read in full...)
I asked my girlfriend not to drink so much when out with friends but she did so anyways!
Q. Ok so tonight my girlfriend went and hung out with one of her girl friends and said they were gonna go for happy hour and get a drink and some food. So I said don't drink too much please and she said she wouldn't but her friend messages me and said ...
A. 15 December 2013: It's her job as an adult to know how much she should or shouldn't drink. If you've ever drank alcohol you know how easy it can be to have too many, so don't be surprised that she didn't listen to you.
What a lot of women don't realize, is that ... (read in full...)
He won't clarify what I am to him after 3.5 months together. Should this be a deal breaker?
Q. I've been dating this guy for about 3 and a half months now, and so far it's been really great for the most part. He's a really sweet guy, and he treats me really well. We hang out a few times a week and we talk everyday. He's met a lot of my ...
A. 14 December 2013: So you're willing to leave a perfectly good guy because he won't "clarify" things?
There are two problems I see here. One is the above question. The second is that you are asking him to clarify when you have every right to tell him what you expe... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wont take things to the next level, how long do I wait?
Q. Me and my boyfriend were together for ten months, we were both happy together, till his wife he was seperated from started, she said she would take him back as soon as i was gone. Well as soon as i was gone she left . We have been talking dating ...
A. 13 December 2013: How long you wait is up to you, but I don't see things changing anytime soon considering he's married and he still wants to be with his wife. ... (read in full...)
I've got nobody to talk to about my teacher crush!
Q. I really like my teacher and it's really hard when I'm in her classes, but I know I can't say anything I'm not stupid. I told one close friends but she just seems to get really awkward when I talk about it. I wanted to tell a teacher but I don't ...
A. 12 December 2013: Why do you need to tell anyone? Just deal with it and when you are done with the class you'll get over it.
95% of high schoolers have a crush on a teacher at some time. This isn't a major thing that needs to be dealt with, it's just part of growi... (read in full...)
Should I expect an official invite or am I just creating drama?
Q. I've been in a long term relationship with my bf and we have been living together for 2 years. His nieces birthday is coming up and I've been uncomfortable to attend because I haven't received an invite however my bf feels that it makes no ...
A. 12 December 2013: Unless you and her family were on shaky ground then you're obviously invited. It's assumed a spouse is coming unless stated otherwise.
So, you were creating drama. At this point I probably wouldn't go but that's your choice. ... (read in full...)
I have a 'thing' with a guy but he wants to keep it secret.
Q. So I have a thing with this guy, and my bestfriend over heard him telling his friend that he doesn't want anyone to know about us. I believe my bestfriend and he's the type of guy to say something like that too, what does all that mean and what ...
A. 12 December 2013: It could mean a number of things. When you say "thing" I assume you are talking about sex. If it's just sex them it's kind of personal and not telling anyone else is normal. It also could be that he doesn't want to appear in a relationship so he can ... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting or behaving in a passive aggressive way?
Q. Ok Aunts, feeling like Im overreacting or behaving in a passive aggressive way need your advice and take on this seemingly stupid thing. Background been with my boyfriend for 3 yrs we are in the process of moving in together i am div with a ...
A. 11 December 2013: I'm guessing you're upset because it appeared that he didn't want you there, but it was probably because he thought you'd think it was boring or that he was a nerd too. I'm sure it wasn't because he didn't actually want you there, he sounds like a ... (read in full...)
I really want him back. Was it wrong to say what I said, especially as I did not mean it?
Q. I previously wrote here and took some advice on tactics to win my ex back. We only dated 2 months but I fell for him hard. I started pressuring him to put a title on the relationship which ultimately pushed him away. We broke up a little over a m...
A. 11 December 2013: Well, you got what you deserved here. It's one thing to tell someone you have other plans, but telling them you spent the weekend with a guy is overboard.
It would have been a turn off to all but the most hard core "chasers" out there. And they... (read in full...)
She keeps backing out of our dates, but agrees to arrange more
Q. So i met this girl at school a few weeks ago and she always acted really shy around me and when i caught her staring she's turn her head away and not look at me. One day i decided to ask her out and she agreed and we later set the date for next...
A. 10 December 2013: Maybe she likes you and is just a total flake, maybe she doesn't like you but can't admit it.
Either way I'd cut my losses and find someone else. ... (read in full...)
Broke up with bf... do men actually have feelings?
Q. Okay, I broke up with my boyfriend, of 3 years, a few days ago. I changed all numbers and blocked/deleted him from everything and went NC to the best of my ability. We broke up like this 10 months ago and after 3 weeks he found a way back in and we ...
A. 10 December 2013: I can't speak for all men but I know that I don't have feelings. I can stick my hand over a candle for like a half a second if that tells you anything.
Yes men have feelings and I bet he's as hurt as you are. Men aren't as emotional as women, s... (read in full...)
I was expecting another chance for us
Q. I have been hanging out with my ex boyfriend this past month, after being broken up for about 5 months. Yes we are sleeping together, hanging out, acting like a couple. But he tells me today that he is not ready to get back into a relationship. He ...
A. 10 December 2013: I think that he wanted to get laid so he called you. And he obviously likes you but it doesn't sound like he's interested in a relationship with you.
What else is there to say? You can hang out for awhile to see if anything changes, but I wouldn... (read in full...)
My sister is jealous of my boyfriend
Q. Myself and my sister used to be the best of friends. We were closer than anything, I'd never been closer to anybody else my whole life (She's 21, I'm 19). However, over the last year or so, something's changed. I've always had a lot more friends ...
A. 10 December 2013: I have two daughters, 3 and 5, and so I look at this from their point of view 16 years in the future.
They are extremely close and love each other so much. But they are a little jealous if they're left out of a certain part of the others life. Fo... (read in full...)
How do I leave my wife and my children?
Q. Dear Cupid, How can I leave my wife and two kids? I know these columns are normally reserved for women , but being a man with out any one to talk to and with a story I want to share with you I feel, I can tell no one else in the world, not my br...
A. 9 December 2013: I doubt your wife is happy either, heck, she may be having an affair too if you never have sex. The people who you should be concerned with are the innocent little ones you have. Think of what's best for them. It's not what's happening now, I can ... (read in full...)
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