| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Should I hope for the best? Or allow my insecurity about my breasts be enough to put me off being intimate with a partner?
Q. I recently got into a long distance relationship with an exceptionally charming man. We have made plans to meet in future but I am afraid of getting intimate for one reason: my breasts. I know it sounds silly, but I am very self conscious about ...
A. 22 July 2014: Men love breasts. Theres not much else to say. Ive never in ny life heard of a man complaining. Once you take your bra off they're lost. Boooobs. Not much else to say, really. You have absolutely no reason to worry.... (read in full...)
How do I keep from being a slut?
Q. I fell for this guy when I was 15, and we broke up when I was 17. I'm 19 now. When we were together I was so happy, he was my first kiss, first love and on my 17th birthday I gave him my virginity. A couple weeks later he broke up with me. For the ...
A. 21 July 2014: First off, lets NOT call people sluts. You are afraid of being promiscuous, can we just say that? Slut makes it sound as if sleeping around is bad, and something to be ashamed of. Which it isn't. People who are promiscuous have every right to be who ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend loves penis-jokes, but I am feeling hurt by them!
Q. Hi there, I am in a horrible situation where my anxiety over penis size is ruining my life. I am a 30 year old guy and am not someone to believe in the usual pressures of society, in fact I think they are immoral and insensitive. Nonetheles...
A. 21 July 2014: I don't understand this "pressure by society". Guess I am immune to it. So I wont comment on that, as I have no idea what to say since I am not affected by it (lucky me?).
But you asked some questions, which I believe have been answered over and... (read in full...)
Will I ever stop regretting that I wasted my 20s?
Q. Hello helpers, Recently I am coming to terms that I have been depressed some way for nearly 10 years now. I didn't think I was before I just thought life was naff and I could never be happy. But anyway over the years I have spent time with no amb...
A. 21 July 2014: Why should you stop having fun in life because you are 26? Makes no sense. Have fun! Always! Until you die! The idea of being "too old" for this or that is just nonsense. You do what you feel like. If you want to scream your lounges out riding a ... (read in full...)
I woke up to my bf jerking off 2 hours after I told him am so horny and want him so bad
Q. I woke up to my bf jerking off 2 hours after I had literary begged him for sex because am always horny. He stopped immediately with a guilty look, and tried to cuddle me, but I was both shocked and disgusted. We didn't talk about it because I was so ...
A. 21 July 2014: A man doesn't complete you. So if you feel incomplete without him you are too dependent on him. Even more reason to leave.
Btw that stamina thing and "crashing" because he tried to make you cum? BS. Either he's interested in having sex with you... (read in full...)
I want to be doubly sure that my behaviour around my baby sister is appropriate
Q. Okay so I am female and 13 years old, and she's still just a little one, six months old. I was wondering if it is appropriate to kiss your little sister on the cheek/forehead? We had a family member living with us years ago that attempted to molest ...
A. 21 July 2014: Yes, it is appropriate. You know your own intentions, so trust in them. You aren't doing anything wrong. Just do like you already do, if in doubt just ask. It's always okay to ask.
I think it is a very smart and good thing that you ask these qu... (read in full...)
I love my girlfriend but don't want to have sex with her
Q. okay so here's my question. I've been on my relationship for nearly three years nowand let me tell you with the greatest thing that ever happened to me.but here's thing, never had sex with my girl friend.and it wasn't even her choice it was mine. ...
A. 21 July 2014: "-what drives you to have sex with your partner? I mean if anything you guys are getting the short end of the stick here! Like someone begging to get punched. "
What do you mean? You're not seriously suggesting that women are getting the short en... (read in full...)
I woke up to my bf jerking off 2 hours after I told him am so horny and want him so bad
Q. I woke up to my bf jerking off 2 hours after I had literary begged him for sex because am always horny. He stopped immediately with a guilty look, and tried to cuddle me, but I was both shocked and disgusted. We didn't talk about it because I was so ...
A. 21 July 2014: I was about to say you should consider ending things, because you are not sexually compatible. And then I read on to see that you are also having a rocky relationship to begin with, and have actually tried to break up before!
Well then, your sex... (read in full...)
She took my virginity and now she's all cold?
Q. So... Sort of a long story. I'm a 19 year old male and up until recently had been a virgin. Wanted to lose it to someone I care about. Well, I've been falling for this girl for a while, she knew the situation and was falling for me, but had a lo...
A. 21 July 2014: All she wanted all along was your virginity. If she was talking to you about feelings/relationship stuff and going away together, then that was, sadly, just a trick to get in your pants. Like everyone else here has said, she's already in a ... (read in full...)
Should I warn him about my behaviuor that caused problens in a previous relations?
Q. I have the most amazing bf ever. I am in my late 20s and he is in his early 30s. We get along so well and have only had a few short disagreements in the year and a half we've been together. We never argue, we are so similar. He treats me like a ...
A. 21 July 2014: I second what Ilifton said. No need for me to say the exact same thing over again, everything she said I would have said too. ... (read in full...)
Is it good or bad to have a high angled Penis?
Q. Anyone know if a high erection angle, e.g. 11 o'clock, is particularly stimulating to women or is there not much benefit to having one? I have one and sex doesn't feel that great for me because of it, I think. But if it gets girls off particularly ...
A. 21 July 2014: Women are shaped differently as well, so this will acrually depend on the person and your compatibility. But for me, an angled penis is the absolute best and gives a lot of pleasure, while a straight one is boring...
I wonder why you feel you... (read in full...)
He's a great guy but I don't feel any physical attraction
Q. Hi everyone, I have a little bit of a situation, please for years now I have been out of relationships because basically I would meet only "bad guys" or really incompatible people. Recently I have met this younger guy and it seems like we really g...
A. 20 July 2014: PS. I was tip toeing around my ex about his size and didn't really manage to bring it up during the time we were together, but I really wish I had. Because he honestly did not see how big he was, and was always excusing himself with this or that. ... (read in full...)
He's a great guy but I don't feel any physical attraction
Q. Hi everyone, I have a little bit of a situation, please for years now I have been out of relationships because basically I would meet only "bad guys" or really incompatible people. Recently I have met this younger guy and it seems like we really g...
A. 20 July 2014: So you should lie to him instead? That's just great. Pretend it's not "chemistry" when in fact the guy could have had a chance if he took care of his appearance. I think it's much better that he gets to hear the truth, rather than walking around and ... (read in full...)
What needs to change so that girls want to go out with me and so that I can go on to develop a relationship with a girl?
Q. Now this is probably going to sound a bit doom and gloom. But it's something I've put a large amount of time pondering over and I guess it's the "elephant in the room" for my life. I have used this site for many years now. Constantly posti...
A. 19 July 2014: "I need to change my line of thought so not to desire this anymore and to instead be contempt with life outside of this."
Maybe that's the answer, after all. Because wanting something badly makes you blind to so many red flags. Say, if you want... (read in full...)
He's a great guy but I don't feel any physical attraction
Q. Hi everyone, I have a little bit of a situation, please for years now I have been out of relationships because basically I would meet only "bad guys" or really incompatible people. Recently I have met this younger guy and it seems like we really g...
A. 19 July 2014: Like it has already been said... You're not superficial just because you have a preference. Being shallow is one thing, but having a sexual preference is another. Don't feel like you are shallow. We are attracted to the things we are attracted to, ... (read in full...)
What are my chances with her? Should I message her? It was going so well at first.
Q. I met this girl on a web site. we went on a date on sat night and met her again on sunday. We had so much fun.. went back to her house on saturday night ( no sex) and sunday she came over we went to the pool ( no sex) she wants to wait. I respec...
A. 18 July 2014: Calling her back up is needy, even texting her when she told you she can't talk right now. However, I don't think it's enough to scare her away, seeing as you've already had a few dates and it went well.
Just send her a text next, just ONE text... (read in full...)
My parents cant stand my relationship with my much older B/f. Should I even invite them to my wedding ?
Q. My parents have never been supportive if my relationship with my older boyfriend. We have been dating for three years and he is 19 years older then me and was also a family friend before we started dating. Once we started dating they but me out o...
A. 17 July 2014: The anonymous person makes a good suggestion. Ask your parents to meet you and your boyfriend for dinner (maybe at a nice restaurant?). If they accept, and they behave well, then invite them to the wedding then and there in person, and give them the ... (read in full...)
My parents cant stand my relationship with my much older B/f. Should I even invite them to my wedding ?
Q. My parents have never been supportive if my relationship with my older boyfriend. We have been dating for three years and he is 19 years older then me and was also a family friend before we started dating. Once we started dating they but me out o...
A. 17 July 2014: I stand by the OP in this. Her wedding day, she gets to invite whomever she wants. It's a celebration of the two who are in love. Obviously, the parents aren't celebrating this, they are grieving this, and they (or perhaps in particular the mother) ... (read in full...)
My parents cant stand my relationship with my much older B/f. Should I even invite them to my wedding ?
Q. My parents have never been supportive if my relationship with my older boyfriend. We have been dating for three years and he is 19 years older then me and was also a family friend before we started dating. Once we started dating they but me out o...
A. 17 July 2014: Do as you wish. Don't invite them. I don't see why you should. Your mothers comment was nasty, and she put it out there in full public just to get others to pity her or something. She seems extremely self obsessed. With that type of attitude, who do ... (read in full...)
They say I would have been rocked by a tree stump. Do they have a point?
Q. OK, I had sex with a new boyfriend recently. It was our first date and he took me to the highest heaven. My friends were not as impressed. They told me my reaction was based on circumstances and looks, ie it was my first time after 23 years of ...
A. 16 July 2014: No, they don't have a point. Good sex is good sex, and great sex is great sex, no matter how much crappy sex you've had prior. Your body know what works, no matter what.
I had great sex with my ex too, and it wasn't because the sex prior to him w... (read in full...)
I'm absolutely miserable at my job, what should I do when there are no tasks needing doing?
Q. I've been working a 9-5 summer internship/job for the summer - I do get paid, but on the downside, I'm absolutely miserable. I ask my supervisors for work, but they really don't have anything for me to do. When they give me work, I accomplish it, ...
A. 16 July 2014: Start working on other tasks. Most bosses love a person who shows initiative. Think about what you can do to improve some of the work, or try and see if there is any work that can be done. Even small things like organizing the cabins. To bigger ... (read in full...)
How to control rage issues, that have cost me my marriage?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles. I have a big problem and was wondering if anyone can refer me to some good websites, or help me to find information on this. Basically, my husband and I got in a fight, and I hit him. This has happened before, and I went to ...
A. 16 July 2014: I am ruling out bipolar personality disorder here. If you think you might have bipolar personality disorder then see your doctor, because you will need medication to help you control your moods. The following advice is if you have no personality ... (read in full...)
Why do some men think porn stars are magical being?
Q. Why do some men think pornstars are magical beings? My ex and my first boyfriend were just like that. My ex said "a pornstar works in my office" in a voice as if he had achieved something. My first boyfriend used to call them by their names...
A. 16 July 2014: Sounds like its just your typical "celebrity"-awe. Same as when I will get a bit more excited about a tv-star working in my office. People are generally in awe of celebrities, no matter how small, no matter what they are known for.... (read in full...)
Should I have sex to keep my boyfriend?
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for 5 years now, (I am -9) and I love him to pieces. We sleep over at each other's all the time and it's all been perfectly fine. Then one night we were at his and he said "my parents wont be home until ...
A. 15 July 2014: You should tell him you're not ready for sex.
But you should also ask yourself why you aren't. You're old enough to be having sex, and after 5 years, if you don't WANT to have sex with your boyfriend, then that tells me you don't actually... (read in full...)
Am I too polite?
Q. I have been single for 4 years now and am getting worse with women. I am too polite and too gentleman like at times , and when meeting a girl I like I go really polite I can occasionally have a chat with one but never see a signal for me to ask th...
A. 15 July 2014: Sounds like politeness is just an excuse. You're being a coward, that's the problem. What is impolite about asking a girl out? You can be polite and ask her out, just don't insult her that's all. Being asked out is a compliment. I don't see how ... (read in full...)
We had an amazing weekend connection but now I haven't heard from him. Do I call?
Q. I met this really good looking guy at a friends BBQ last weekend. We hit it off instantly and chatted for hours. We ended the night by kissing. We live in different states and he spoke of me visiting him. We even talked about sex and how he wasn't ...
A. 15 July 2014: He wanted some cuddles I guess, that's all. He already said that he's still attached to the mother of his child.. so guess who's bed he was crawling into when he got back home?
It's not rocket science, he obviously is still with this woman ba... (read in full...)
How do I handle this? Holiday booked with Bf but I don't want to go.
Q. My boyfriend and I (both in twenties) have been together for 5 years but we're having our first holiday abroad this year. He can be very snappy at times and I've found he's been doing it a lot recently, I've talked to him and he's said he will sto...
A. 15 July 2014: You're already paid 1500, but you will spend more money whilst on the holiday. Remember that. You are saving money by NOT going.
I want to tell you about my ex. He was a very angry man. In retrospect I can see that he was abusive, both physical... (read in full...)
A stranger came up to tell me he liked me. Is he a threat?
Q. Hello, I was walking to work yesterday morning 7am, half way there I saw a man come jogging around the corner and he suddenly stopped about twenty yards infront of me then continued tonwalk towards me. I have to admit I did feel uneasy in my ...
A. 14 July 2014: I think he was genuine about liking you. If he wanted to attack you, he would have probably just followed you and jumped at you, not started talking to you like that. But that's just my guess. I understand that you felt uneasy about it, when walking ... (read in full...)
What's the best way to approach a woman? Need tips please
Q. Hello everyone, I'm 24 year old young man who is afraid to approach women. I'm not inexperienced in terms of a relationship or anything like that because I've had serious relationship and they've gone pretty well until they just fade out, and ...
A. 14 July 2014: Tips: don't LIKE a girl you don't even know. You can think that she's hot, but don't start having feelings for her just because she's got pretty eyes or whatever... Get what I mean?
If you don't care at all, are not emotionally invested whatsoev... (read in full...)
Want to be exclusive but wondering if it's too early?
Q. So I met this girl online a few months ago and we got on really well and have texted every day and spoken most days. We've met up twice and I really like her and she likes me a lot too. Most recently she stayed the night and had a great time (we ...
A. 14 July 2014: How long until she leaves? Will you have time to meet her for a third date? In which case it should be easy to bring it up then and there. It is not fitting to bring this up over the phone.
I would put it as simple as this: I really like you, and... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's penis is too big!
Q. I starring dating this guy and his penis is huge is feels good during but most times it just hurts. I have been with plenty of other men. Its just I can't seem to get use to it. So my question is will it not hurt me or will it hurt forever....
A. 14 July 2014: It will not hurt forever, I hope. But it is impossible to say. What is it that hurts? I had one boyfriend once who has a very thick penis, but he wasn't that long. It was the girth that was painful, because it caused too much friction. I was ... (read in full...)
Should I help my friend who is struggling to find a date?
Q. I have a friend who's 29, I'm 27; he's single at the moment, and struggling to get a date. He's said to me that he wants help, but how can I help him? He's got a good job, has a small group of friends (including me) and is well-liked; but ...
A. 14 July 2014: The way to help out your friend is to be a wing man. You can do this in many ways. Dont just set him up on a blind date with a random single friend of yours. Let them meet first, casually, without knowing they are being set up. Be sure that they ... (read in full...)
Am I too manly?
Q. My whole life I have been into sports. I love sports, I love games I love things normal woman don't. I grew up an only child for 12 years and I was basically my dad's son. But I've also been hurt many times by men in my life. So to protect myself I ...
A. 14 July 2014: You act like a girl. Or rather, woman. Because uou are one. But what you and your boyfriend are talking about are gender stereotypes. He wants you to, rather than be normal, be a stereotype. I would dump jim for such an ignorant comment. Act like a ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to find any handsome and confident guys that are not assholes?
Q. It seems that every descent looking guy I come across ends up being a total asshole! They turn out to be liars and cheaters and users and honestly I'm sick of it. They think that just because they are good looking they can step all over peoples ...
A. 13 July 2014: It is rare in men. Usually, when they are good looking and know it, they are stupid about it and just take advantage of any girl they can. You need to find a handsome man who doesn't know how good looking he is. Only then will he be polite, honest ... (read in full...)
I don't get wet before sex and I don't know if I've had an orgasm
Q. I'm 24 and I've been with a few different guys. The other day my boyfriend asked me if I've ever had a orgasim with him and I honestly couldn't answer. I've had times during sex with him where my legs will shake and it feels downright amazing but ...
A. 13 July 2014: If you don't know if you've had an orgasm or not, then you haven't had one. Orgasms are not mistaken for anything else, and they're not shaking of legs. An orgasm is a point of climax, not just feeling really good. An orgasm often comes abruptly, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is physically abusive. Part of me wants to leave him but I also know he would never truly hurt me
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for two and a half years, and we recently moved in together. He is usually extremely sweet and caring. But sometime he has bouts of anger that make me extremely uncomfortable. I can honestly say he'd never hit me, bu...
A. 12 July 2014: Your boyfriend IS physically abusing you already. What do you think he did when he pinned you down on the bed? He held you against your will, using his strenght. Same with grabbing your wrist. He is putting his hands on you, and he is demonstrating ... (read in full...)
Do I choose my husband or my boyfriend?
Q. I need advice very badly. I'm in a predicament I never thought I would find myself in though I have seen it on the site before. I am having to choose between two men. Each have their strengths and weaknesses. One is my husband, not what you think or ...
A. 11 July 2014: I am glad to hear you are happier now! Good luck to you!... (read in full...)
How do I stop friends from abandoning me? Do I need to leave my boyfriend? How can I meet new guys and which guy would want me if I don't have friends or family?
Q. Hi , I don't know where to start when I write this. I'm 22 and live in the uk. I'm doing pretty well career wise , got a good but stressful job , and have a boyfriend. But for some reason I just can't be happy . I always get myself feeling de...
A. 11 July 2014: It sounds to me like you've falling into a role of playing the victim. In some cases, yes, you were a victim. But this should not be your identity outside of the specific times/that specific context.
So you were bullied before, but why is that ... (read in full...)
How to tell your partner you have HIV?
Q. I recently found I that I am hiv positive. I've only had 3 sex partners. Last year I was dating 2 guys and I was tested last year after sex with them and I was negative. I've been single and haven't been sexually active. I recently started talking ...
A. 10 July 2014: First off all, let me say I am sorry for these bad news. I hope your doctor has given you good information and is giving you the help and support you need, and that you have a good support system around you to help you deal with these heavy news. I ... (read in full...)
He only put the tip in. Am I still a virgin?
Q. I don't know if I'm a virgin or not.. Help? I was with him and he kept fingering me and tryed to make it easier for him to get it in.. Well, when he tryed to put it in It definitely hurt. He told me he only got the tip.in and that's all.. But I ...
A. 10 July 2014: I'd say no.. you're not a virgin. Being a virgin means you never had sex.. and you had sex. However, if by being a virgin you mean someone who's had sex with a man who penetrated with this or that many cm.. then maybe you're a virgin. But the ... (read in full...)
Is any man excited by an average looking female body after watching porn?
Q. I am concerned that my bfs constant access to a never ending stream of physically perfect women in porn to look at and masturbate to is causing him to get bored with my appearance. He simply doesn't seem excited by the sight of me anymore yet if h...
A. 9 July 2014: Your question is based on some false assumptions. You believe that men watch porn because of "perfect" women in porn. I watch porn too (which you probably don't, hence your false assumption) and women in porn look just like any other women in real ... (read in full...)
Do I choose my husband or my boyfriend?
Q. I need advice very badly. I'm in a predicament I never thought I would find myself in though I have seen it on the site before. I am having to choose between two men. Each have their strengths and weaknesses. One is my husband, not what you think or ...
A. 23 January 2014: Neither. Don't settle for either of them, neither are good enough. You appear to think you must have a man, any man, and that being alone isn't possible.
Just my piece of advice, as hard as it will be to follow: If you get back with your husband,... (read in full...)
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These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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