A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So this is a little bit of a head messer (for me anyway)So there's a guy I really like we know each other from social media and hears the thing. I message him and sometimes he replies sometimes he don't. We share a match in music taste. He watched my story on Instagram 90% of the time and is always the first or second person on the list of viewers (I found out Instagram viewers are people who look at your profile the most) His called me handsome on a pic with a kissy emoji. It seems we have a lot more in common than music but his not giving me a chance to find out.... His last message to me was "we have such soppy taste in music"His good looking and I fancy him.... but ATM I'd be happy just being friends as none of my friends seem to have as much in common with me as he does. I did ask him to go for a drink and he ignored. Why is he so hard to get to know? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 March 2017):
 I have read your story a couple of times now, and I don't know how many times people have told you that he seems to enjoy catching you online but he has no interest in meeting you and getting to know you more. He probably watches lots off stuff online. He ignores your messages because he is not interested. If you keep holding on for hope you are going to end up hurt. I think at this stage you need to accept now that he is not interested in friendship outside off social media.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2017): Maybe he is seeing someone already. Some people are friendly only on social media, and don't really want to meet you in-person. They enjoy collecting friends and getting "likes;"but want little else but your attention.
You've offered, and he didn't answer. Take that as a no thanks! Communicate less, or stop altogether, if this really bothers you. You fancy him and he's a bit of a tease; so it is best to block him access to view you on Instagram.
It's human nature to seek approval and we don't respond to rejection well. You can't take people you meet online too seriously; because a great percentage of the time they're hiding something, or don't have good intentions.
You treat viewers like passengers you meet on a bus. Exchange pleasantries and be on your way. You didn't meet on a dating site, so perhaps he wasn't expecting anything more than chat. For all you know, he may just be claiming to like the same kind of music to be polite. Using emojis is out of force of habit for some folks.
Just graciously accept the compliment, and don't take him seriously.
...............................
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (5 March 2017):
 I've seen you post about this 2 or 3 times now and you've got the same answers everytime.
He is NOT INTERESTED.
If he was he would of jumped at the chance of going out for a drink with you. Stop wasting your time and find someone who wants to get to know you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (5 March 2017):
 There could be many reasons. You know next to nothing about this guy, only what he wishes to share with you, so it is hard to speculate. Just because he "likes" your stuff and shares your taste in music does not mean you would be compatible in real life - as friends or anything else.
He could already be in a relationship and not want to meet you because it would feel wrong to him (and it would BE wrong, given what you are looking for). He could have social anxiety and interact only on-line where he feels "safe". He may genuinely like you as an on-line friend but have zero interest in taking that friendship further.
You have given him an opening but he didn't even have the manners to make an excuse or give an explanation why he did not wish to take up your offer. He just ignored it.
This man just does not appear to be interested in you except at an on-line level. Given that you want so much more, and it seems to pain you that he does not, I would advise cutting all contact with him until such time as you can view him in the same way as he sees you - a pleasant on-line contact with whom you share a taste in music. Don't torment yourself by trying to make friends with someone who is not interested.
Given that you feel this man you haven't even met has more in common with you than your real-life friends, I would suggest a good diversion from your infatuation would be to channel your energies into meeting new people and making new friends.
HUGS.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2017): If he was truly interested he would have made his interest known to you.Guys who are really interested will actively seek you out and find time to be with you and set up times to see you.Social Media is just one avenue to meet guys. Join the Gym. And just get on with improving your body. Do not be one of the "grunters" who try to call attention to themselves by making those insane noises to imply that ever weight they lift is taking a huge toll every time they lift anything.. Take up an outdoor sport. Cycling is a great way to meet guys who care about their fitness.Enrol locally in a place to learn a new skill.Be active in your life instead of trawling through social media to learn more about your crush. The crush you are focusing on does not have a similar crush on you. Finding a partner or even just a new friend is a numbers game. The more people you meet in real life and the more activities you involve yourself to help you grow as a man will give you more opportunities to build genuine relationships outside the unreality of social media.Be active in lots of areas where you will meet lots of guys in real life.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (5 March 2017):
 "Why is he so hard to get to know?"
Because he doesn't WANT to get known. As things stand it's a bit of a "fantasy game" and he is in some respects more of a "figment of your imagination" than a real person.
Who "likes" your posts and who does it first doesn't MEAN a darn thing in reality.
He isn't looking to move PAST this superficial quasi-acquaintance you two have. Otherwise, he would be TRYING harder, he isn't even trying.
I know that is not what you want to hear (judging by all the posts you have made about this guy) but that is how it looks to someone looking in.
If you are looking for REAL friends or a REAL partner - skip this one, accept him for what he is... an online acquaintance you share taste in music with. Nothing more.
...............................
|
