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What does this married man mean when he says he finds me physically attractive?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Flirting, Friends, Marriage problems, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 April 2018) 11 Answers - (Newest, 15 April 2018)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I've met this guy at work. He is married. We have a lot of things in common.He is a very private man. He doesn't talk much to anybody until I started working there. He said he likes me and enjoy being his friend. He is always careful about what he says to me. He never compliments me on the way I look but compliments my personality a lot. Until today (after eight months of friendship, he said that I am physically attractive. What does it mean?

View related questions: at work, married man

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A female reader, Dionee' South Africa +, writes (15 April 2018):

Dionee' agony auntIt means that he finds you attractive enough to sleep with you should he get the chance to. That's it.

If he tries anything, put an end to it because advances may follow. Don't allow him to open the floodgates and reel you in. Be better than that and stand your ground. Don't fall for this crap. It's easy for someone to be attracted to someone else so don't think that it's his way of telling you that he likes/loves you because he doesn't.

Oh and it isn't flattering, it just shows that he isn't as decent a guy as you thought he was. There, I said it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2018):

You're in need of an ego boost, are you?

Looking for us to confirm that he likes you?

Need to feel good about yourself?

Obviously, your self esteem is non existent.

Do you find validation in a man who already has a wife and family?


What kind of a person are you?

Confidence and self validation comes from within.

Because once he is done using you, lying to you and making you think you are that special, you are going to feel used; like you meant nothing and are nothing. It just isn't worth it.

Looking to feel good about yourself? Well, that is an inside job.

It does not come from some married man-whore looking for a brief roll in the hay. In all honesty, knowing he has earmarked you for sex should only make you feel worse about yourself.

Everything he says and does and has said and done up til this point has been deliberate. It is an ACT. It is his GAME. This is how he lures in naïve, unsuspecting women into his web of deceit. Next, he will say that he is in a sexless marriage! Or he is married out of convenience or for the kid's sake! ON AND ON.....

But you are old enough to already know this, aren't you? You are old enough to steer clear of married players, aren't you?

At the end of the day, this guy is playing his game. And he has played it before. You aren't the first. You won't be the last.

Whatever you do, do not get your heart involved. And if you are a smart woman, don't get your genitals involved either.

Tell me, how would you like it if your husband or BF fucked another woman? Would that hurt you? Well, then think about how it would hurt his wife if you did that to HER?

Do you feel you are too old to find yourself an available man? Are you lonely? Desperate? Been without sex for a while? Obviously there is something wrong in your life or in your character that would lead you to even consider something that is detrimental to you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2018):

He thinks you could be an easy lay. He thinks you have no self respect. He thinks you're desperate. He thinks that you are in love with him. He has zero respect for you. He thinks you're sleazy. He thinks he will score with you. Do not be flattered. The fact he is grooming you suggests he thinks very poorly of you.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2018):

He means that he is attracted to you physically and would love to sleep with you if you let him.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia + , writes (14 April 2018):

Aunty BimBim agony auntThe man wants to have sex with you, he is not interested in an emotional connection, this is why he said he found you "physically attractive" .... if he was interested in more he would have used different words.

This man should be avoided for a number of reasons, mainly this is your workplace not you play ground, so stop fantasizing that there is an emotional connection and that you are special (he never talked much till I started here).

So keep your eye on your work and your panties pulled up.

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy + , writes (14 April 2018):

Anonymous 123 agony auntHe wants to have sex with you. He's looking to start an affair and is putting his cards and his penis on the table.

Didn't you already suspect this?

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom + , writes (14 April 2018):

N91 agony auntYou know exactly what this means.

How could this possibly have a double meaning?

This talk is inappropriate. You’re in the Work place and he’s married. Nip this in the bud immediately.

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (14 April 2018):

I think a mature-woman over 50 knows exactly when a man is flirting. Don't play dumb.

He is carefully choosing his words; so he maintains deniability if you report sexual-harassment.

He's private alright. That's how the crafty-types operate.

Stop being so thirsty for compliments.

Maintain your dignity and professionalism; and suggest he save his compliments for his wife.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (14 April 2018):

Honeypie agony auntYou know what it means.

You also know that you shouldn't ACT on it. That you need to keep some professional boundaries here, because HE sure isn't!

I know it's flattering that this guy finds you attractive, but OP... THINK! the guy is married, and you know what that means, right? IT MEANS he can't commit to you, he HAS a wife.

All he CAN offer is his dick and sweet lies.

Are you not better than that?

You are so desperate for attention that you get your panties is a twist because some married due calls you attractive? You know you are attractive but you are also ATTRACTING a married man.

Every action has a reaction and a consequence. Think long and hard before you do something stupid.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2018):

It means he finds you physically attractive and probably wants to coerce you to have sex with him . Honestly don't feel so flattered , most men find most women within breeding age attractive enough to use for sex so long as they are not overweight or hideous . He's not paying yoh a compliment at all . Just look at how men use women in porn just to get off , often thise women are far from attractive but the men will find them attractive r simply because they are naked and appear to want sex

He's hoping you will fall for his flattery and the fact you asking a question just because a married man said he find your attractive e suggests you are

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2018):

It means exactly what he says and as of now don't read anything more into it. If he makes advances toward you, you'd be wise to reject him. You work with him and he's married. You're old enough to know better than to get involved under any circumstances.

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