A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Right here's the thing...Im a girl and im in love with my best friend whose also a girl, shes engaged to a guy and they are very happy together, been together for more than 5 years. I met her at college and about 5 months down the line i started getting feelings towards her. I've never really been interested in women before.I thought it was just a 'her' thing, but ever since i've fallen for her, i've realised that women do attract me, so i now class myself as bi curious, which isnt a problem for me, many of my friends are bi or gay so all's cool. But anyway, i told her i had feelings for her, and after much thinking about the positives and negatives, she was cool about it. She said she didnt want it to change anything and didnt want any arkwardness. However it did feel arkward, and i told her a few weeks later that it was just a phase i was going through and that i didnt like her more than a friend, which wasn't true, i was still crushing on her badly, but i think she sees right through me. she knows that i still like her. Anyway, she's engaged to this amazing guy he couldnt do enough for her.He's great and i get on with him, i'm always going round their's, getting drunk, having a laugh, and me and her are so close. We cuddle up next to each other on her sofa in our underwear under the blanket, whilst her fiance's in the room, he doesn't seem to mind, infact they've asked me to have a threesome with them, and one night we got close too, but ended up crashing on the sofa, having drunk too much beer lol. I'm always crashing at their's on there sofa. I can talk to her about anything, we spend hours in each others company talking about anything, having a laugh whilst her fellas at work, often its just us three and i dont really feel like a gooseberry. I mean sometimes occassionally but not very often. Im in love with her so bad, i cant stop thinking about her, what should i do???
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at work, best friend, crush, drunk, engaged, fiance, threesome, underwear Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Cyg79  +, writes (15 August 2008):
 Sorry for the delayed response.
My situation was a bit different then yours. Ultimately what it took was distance and a whole lot of overtime at work. But even before that, I just stopped hanging out with her so much, since I knew I wanted something more then friendship. It took a good two months, but one day I just stopped thinking about her, and the next I told her goodbye.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey thanks cyg79 i really think what advice you give me was good, i really appreciate your help thankyou, its nice to know someone has been through what ive been through, id like to know how you got on with it, tash xx
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A
female
reader, Cyg79 +, writes (10 August 2008):
I feel your pain and confusion, having been there myself.
You need to decide what you want from the relationship. If it is more then friendship, I agree with Emilysanswers, you need to get away from her so you can move on.
You need to look at the fact that she is engaged and happy, and that alone means that there can’t be anything more then friendship. (Unless if you believe in affairs)
Personally, I would be unconformable with the idea of a threesome. Considering you told her you have/ had feeling for her, the threesome suggestion is very insensitive and seems to be take advantage of that information. Confusion can create causes but in the end it does not excuse us of our actions. (Would you feel conferable with a threesome?)
If you want to still try and be friends with her, stop being exclusive between you and her or her and her fiance. If you’re going to drink bring a friend that will get you home, no more sleeping on the sofa. This is what I would do, to protect myself from getting into an uncomfortable situation.
Feel free to write me, if you need a friendly ear.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (8 August 2008):
You need to tell her that you are taking time away from her and it's not her fault but you need to do it.
She may still just be being friends with you.
You've told her about your feelings in the past so tell her it's getting worse and you need some time away from her to get over her.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know i said that i would have a break from her, but ive just been away for two weeks which was a break, and made me miss her more, whilst i was away she text me saying when are you back i miss you, she says some things like that over msn and in person etc, which confuse me, im wondering whether she just means them as a friend but the other half of me is reading too much into them, hoping theres more to what shes saying. Anyway she asked me if i wanted to come round this weekend, i said yes and im really looking forwards to seeing her, have really missed her greatly whilst ive been away, i want to give her a great big hug and never let go, and id love to kiss her, but i dont know whether i should whether that would spoil what weve got as friends, i really want to kiss her, i dont no what to do...help! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your replies... yeah suppose your right,maybe i should have a break away from her for a while, see what happens, stop myself getting hurt, ill have a good think about what you guys said too, see if i should talk to her about it. Thanks guys xxx
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (7 August 2008):
Be very careful about getting closer to this girl.
They may want to have a threesome and you would get to have sex with her, but it will be her and her boyfriend who cuddle up afterwards.
If I were you I would tell her that you are going to get really hurt by this and back off for a while. Spend time with some other friends and get some distance to have a think.
Is it is really worth being used as a plaything just to be close to her?
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2008): There two sides to this ethir she really dosent want to change anything in ur friendship
or
Maybe her & her b/f are using u for ther sexual adventures
She is kinda leading u on by cuddling up with u in her underwear...isnt she??
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