A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupidyesterday i had a huge fight with my bf of 4 years, lately he is ignoring me, verbally and mentally abusing me all the time. Its getting difficult even to have a decent conversation with him on anything.Yesterday we had a huge fight since i called him when he was with his friends, he picked up and told me he would trash me if i ever call him again and after that he didn't come home. Today he called me once, i was at work so didn't see his all until late. I am so scared to even call him, he might be calling to break up with me or to verbally abuse me more, not sure, but i don't want to hear what he has to say.What should i do now, please help me
View related questions:
at work Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2014): Love doesn't hurt at all leave while you can !Good Luck
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (20 January 2014):
 Woke him up* my bad.
...............................
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (20 January 2014):
Are you the same poster who posted about your boyfriend threatening to kill you if you called and some him up again?
If so, please, please, please dump this asshole.
If not, still, please, please dump this asshole.
...............................
A
male
reader, Geta +, writes (19 January 2014):
Find a place to live then is pack your belongings and go away from him. You will also be better off not telling him that you are going nor telling him where you will be because he will, in all likelihood, get violent on you.
Remember, no person should ever be abused nor should you tolerate torture. However, if you stick around and attempt to talk this over with him torture is what you will get.
...............................
A
female
reader, MommyMoo +, writes (18 January 2014):
I can relate very well to this. Sounds like you live together right? Makes it a tad harder than just never seeing each other again. Poster, you have a choice too. Smart move would be to pack his crap up and kick his sorry butt out. However, I understand it is as easy to actually do that. I have been with my now husband for fourteen years and we now have four children. I have endured the verbal abuse (I love you more than you know but you are a whore and I never wanted to be married to a whore, for example) and physical abuse as well. Most recently I received a choke slam and was strangled and he told me he could trash my face so bad know one would recognize me, but the abuse has gone on sporadically for years.Many don't understand why people take that. Strong people are able to push them out of their lives. But others struggle for various reasons. Y problem is that I love him deeply (he is not Satan, he does have some very good qualities) in addition to a strange but real fear of being alone. Am I able to raise my kids on my own. Yes financially and physically I can. But I fear no one being there for me. Pretty dumb I know.So my advice to you is to take a look at whether the pros outweigh the abuse. It rarely does. If you have no children yet, count your blessings that is not part of your equation. He is not likely to change for e has to want to. If you are scared of him, listen to your head. There is a reason for that. You will be able to find someone that loves and doesn't treat you this way. You deserve better. But no one can decide this for you. The abuse can really you bring you down, make you feel as though you deserve it because you have grown accustomed to it.Good luck to you.
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (18 January 2014):
 You write: "...I am so scared to even call him, he might be calling to break up with me or to verbally abuse me more, not sure, but i don't want to hear what he has to say...."
Here's a suggestion: Why don't you CALL HIM (yes!!!!!)... and tell him that his sorry a$$ is now officially dumped.... and you never want to see or speak to him, or be subject to his abuse.... EVER AGAIN!!! The best defense is a great offense!!!!
Good luck...
...............................
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (18 January 2014):
 What are the reasons you want to stay in a relationship with him if he is so abusive and nasty?
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (18 January 2014):
 I assume you two don't live together?
The thing is it COULD be that he is being abusive to alienate you or punish you for something you did or didn't do, my question is... WHY do you allow it? That isn't love. It isn't respect. It isn't anything nice, so why stay? Why not call him and say look, I love you but I can not accept being treated like this so we are done, good luck in life and not contact me again.
WHY wait for HIM to drop the other shoe?
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (18 January 2014):
You need to be the one to end this. Straight away. He's verbally and mentally hurting you, and no one would do that to someone they truly love. I don't think you should be with this man at all, and I really think the best thing to do is for you to end it and move on, no matter how hard that might be.
...............................
|
