A
female
age
36-40,
*reamcandycane
writes:I been in relationship for five years an just had a baby now my boyfriend says his feelings for me have dropped and he don't want to be in the relationship no more and he cheated on me with 19 year old when I was 8 months pregnantI just found it out. It was shocking because he was talking about marriage and now he wants out. I decided to move back with my parents an give him some space to figure out if he want to solve the problem but I not going to wait around; I am willing to work things out.but I don't think he does.I would like our son to have both parents together but not when things are not good between me and his father what to do
View related questions:
cheated on me Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (13 November 2011):
 I am so sorry that you have to be going through this so soon after giving birth to your son. He cheated on you while you where at home carrying his child, this shows that he is not committed to you or that he doesn't care about how you feel. My guess is that he was not ready for fatherhood, was your son planned? My guess is he is not ready to settle down and be the father that he should be. Which is really sad. Could you honestly say that you could trust him now after him doing this to you, I honestly think you are better off without him. Your son has you and just because you and his father are not together does not mean that he cant have love from both parents. Make sure that your ex is paying for his child and supporting him. You have the right to get maintenance of him to support you and your child. I know it will be hard being a single mother, but at least you have your parents there to support you. Good luck.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 November 2011):
 my kids told me when they were older that they were glad we had split up because they hated the fighting when we were together,it was better for them when we were apart... kids adapt well
DO NOT stay with a partner JUST for the children...
...............................
A
female
reader, kate28 +, writes (13 November 2011):
Sounds like he completely freaked out about the new responsibility and handled it in a very immature way. Stay away from him for awhile except for allowing him to see his son.
If you exhaust yourself trying to make a relationship work with him while he's not willing to work for it you will be even more resentful which will make having a civil relationship for the sake of your son difficult. I wouldn't put energy into him right now, I would focus on your son.
If he comes to his senses with some space/time and realizes he wants to be with you and your son and you decide you would like to give him that chance I would be cautious and make him prove himself. I would also suggest going to counseling with him if you end up getting back together.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2011): Oh he sounds charming - not. When your pregnant and vulnerable he cheats on you, what a lowlife
But then you know this. He needs to grow up and face the fact he is now a Dad with responsibilities and you need him at your side for support. If he can't then your better off without him
Both parents together is obviously best, if your happy, but you would be constantly wondering where he is when not at home. The trust has gone.He needs to build big bridges and be 100% committed in this relationship for it to work,to grow up - which will take time
If you he can't or he won't, then carry on alone with your lovely son, it won't be easy,but your parents sound supportive which helps
Good luck x
...............................
|
