A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ive been seeing a really great guy and the other night we decided we were ready to take it to the next level and have sex. we didnt have very long before i had to go so we went into his room and started messing around, to be honest i realised then that he wasnt really getting that hard. then his flat mate came back and i asked him if he was sure he wanted to carry on, and he said yeah. a few minutes later, he just still wasnt hard enough to have sex.i was so embarrassed and we just had to stop, he said sorry and i just sat there absolutely mortified. this has never happened to me before but im worrying that it was something i did wrong or that i didnt do. hes only 21! im seeing him again tomorrow and i really think we're ready to have sex but now im absolutely terrified that he wont be able to get hard enough again, ill honestly die of embarrassment! does anyone have any advice why this might have happened or if its likely to happen again? what can i do?thank you so much
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male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (10 March 2012):
 Somewhat agree with "Sageoldguy1465" that the circumstances were not ideal. Next time he has trouble with erection, give him some nice sucking, and if that doesn't get him "up," then he has a problem.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2012): All of my partners were very happy with my performance during the relationships, but the first encounter was never too good. It took me two weeks to get anywhere with my first girlfriend! It was a case of performance anxiety.
If you care, be less mortified and be patient. He may be grand after all.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 March 2012):
 trust me dear one he's more embarrassed than you are
it happens and it's not about YOU...
I wouldn't make a big deal about it
you were rushed
it was your first time you were both nervous
his flatmate came home so you were distracted.
let it go totally....
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (8 March 2012):
 I wouldn't make much of an issue of it. You said, in the first place, that you were pressed for time..... THEN, you note that his flat-mate came home..... NOT what I would call ideal circumstances for two people to spend quality time together in connubial bliss.....
Chalk it up as an aberration, and wait for the next time when you and he can really spend some quiet, intimate time together. I PROMISE you that, under those circumstances, his "Mr Happy" will be ready, willing and able for you!!
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, landomando +, writes (8 March 2012):
That seems a little unusual. 3 things I can think of why it happened. 1 is if he masturbated previously sometimes it is harder to get an erection. Another reason why could be because his testosterone levels are down. Could be his diet or if he works out and takes supplements it can lower testosterone, making you less horny. Also he might have not been comfortable/ready. Just wasnt into it.
I think it has happened to us all. But i dont think it will happen again.... if it does you should ask him whats up..
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A
male
reader, Hugh.J +, writes (8 March 2012):
 It happens. He probably felt under pressure to perform, and was laid prey to the Melty Man!
If you never watched that brilliant sit-com, "Coupling", you would not have understood that comment, but if you can, beg, borrow or steal a copy of the Melty Man episode and watch it together: it will defuse the situation, you will both laugh yourselves silly and the pressure will be off.
I believe the episode is actually called "The Melty Man cometh...."
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