A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, I'm a 24 years old guy who has a 22 years old girl. We have been seeing each other for a little over 9 months. We're both working in the same company albeit different office. We're doing sales. It's a very time-consuming line of work and we get to really spend time together only on Saturdays.Things started out in a very cute manner between us. I have seen her around office a couple of times and found her to be very pretty and independent. After about 8 months since I first saw her, we had our first conversation at our company's rally.Soon after, problem started to come between us. See, the thing is, she's the first girl I've ever really done this with. Honestly, I'm afraid of commitment. I love her and I want to be with her forever if I could.For the record, I haven't asked her officially to be my girlfriend. She has been complaining about it endlessly. She has had a couple of ex-boyfriends before and she has cheated on almost all of them. This fact has bothered me like nothing on earth. Because of my not asking her to be mine officially, she has continuously threatened me with other guys. She has gone out with a few of them before and claims it was a normal outing. She would leave me immediately if I did the same.I like to club and hang out with my friends. I have told her I've slept around a lot before and because of that, she doesn't trust me whenever I'm not with her. She doesn't trust my friends because she thinks they influence me to do "stupid stuffs". I have never been unfaithful and I will never, to anyone. It has been my upbringing. I may sleep around, but I won't hurt if I've given my word.My girl seems to be unable to argue with logic. She likes to cry and expects me to pacify her. I have gotten sick of this as the point I would be trying to prove would be insignificant if I gave in. She likes to "take revenge" by doing to me what I do, such as clubbing, and she will make me think she has done something wrong. I have tried to much to trust her and everytime I get upset, I try to bottle it up and not show it to her. She complains about a lot of stuffs.She's a very high maintenance girl. She likes to travel and eat good food. She expects a new, fun and exciting date every weekend. I'm into sales and my performance haven't been good and I'm struggling with money issues. She doesn't seem to understand. I have told her so many times that there are things I can't do for her, but that doesn't mean I can't in the future. She would then whine of how I haven't done anything for her. She expects me to be there for her all the time and the mere mention of hanging out with my friends would be met with unhappiness and she'll try to make me jealous.I can't even add female colleagues on facebook as she thinks other will see it as me trying to flirt around. She has tried to walk away from me about 14 times and everytime I would pull her back as I love her truly and cannot see her in the arms of another guy. There was once when we quarreled badly, I told her to be nicer to the next guy and walked away, crying. She simply walked the other way and I was forced to run after her. I know she would give up on us anytime I wane. She thinks too highly of herself and I worry how we could ever work out.Basically, what I'm trying to ask if, should I try to get better for her and stay or should I leave and concentrate on work?
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female
reader, MyDaysOnceRevolvedAroundYou  +, writes (10 June 2012):
 This girl sounds like she is scared of committing herself to you, this could be for the reason that she has trust issue thanks to boyfriends who have cheated on her in the past and she wants to slow it down and learn to trust you first.
This could also be a warning sign that she doesn't want to settle down, nothing personal against you but because she's young (I'm assuming because of your age), maybe she still wants to have fun and date around.
If your in love with this girl, then I would 100% talk with her about it and if she isn't willing to enter a relationship with you, then I'd find someone who does because most girls would jump at the chance to be with a guy who wants to spend the rest of his life with her, believe me!
A
female
reader, avogado  +, writes (10 June 2012):
In short: Seriously buddy, you've got yourself a drama queen.
Run for the hills.
In full: You guys obviously do not trust each other, you're manipulating each other's emotions and it seems like an endless sequence of games.
If you're afraid of commitment then this girl is only making it worse. If you dedicate your life to her, I assure that you will only end up hurt. I think that if you loved her then you wouldn't be afraid to call her your girlfriend. There's something absolutely wrong here. Love is about mutual understanding, respect and happiness. You're being expected to rock up like Prince Charming on a white horse to give her all the attention she doesn't appear to deserve.
As a person who gives the 'independent woman' vibe, don't be fooled. Independent girls are smart. They know what they're doing and rarely would they put their trust in just one person. Independent people don't need you, they're independent! As for attractiveness, if she knows it then she'll use it to her advantage. Done.
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A
female
reader, golddigger99 +, writes (10 June 2012):
 My advise--LEAVE!!! Run as fast as you can and stay away!!! From what you've described this girl to be, she will be the death of you. I mean--you can't even have female friends and she is high maintenced??? Boy--you can do WAY BETTER THAN THAT! She sounds childish and still has a lot of growing up to do...
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