A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Actually i like sex and i am having sex with many girls. one day my wife has seen me during sex with another girl. that time she did not say anything but right now she has also staret to have sex with her male guys. she do the sex in front of me and i am unable to say to her. my question is that should i allow to my wife for having sex relationship with other male guys or i should allow to her because i also doing sex with many girls.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2008): You have a very strange relationship and I am not sure if your wife is happy with this situation - you started it!
As they say, "whats good for the goose is good for the gander"
One thing which is unclear in your post to me, is how you consider you have the right to an opinion on what your wife gets up to, after all your actions have set the standard in your marriage.
You can't possibly have a problem or right to not be happy with her having sex with other men.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2008): If the 2 of you want an open marriage, then it is not my business to tell you that it is wrong. To do that is up to the 2 of you. However, it should be done with the approval of the other. To not do so is complete cheating. It is also not fair at all for you to think that you have that right and that your wife does not. As the saying goes, what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Either the 2 of you accept this behavior and have equal rights or get divorced and screw around with whoever you like. Then you won't have to worry about an audience.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (5 June 2008):
 I have a different opinion.
I didn't think cheating is something she would do only if you let her. I thought she could do that herself, and that is the case. I'm afraid it's a little late to ponder whether you should "let" her do that. Seems like your permission isn't a must.
Now that you're being cheated on, what has changed? Well, now you can both complain about each other's cheating.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2008): thats a sticky situation. i fink that it isnt fair but then it is. ur havin sex with other women and sh walked in on the act. if i was her i wud hav walked because dat is selfish nd not marriage like. but mayb she is doin bac to u so u know how it feels like to b wat she she felt liked wen she walked in on u. to b honest, a marriage is about commitment, connection and trust... and to me it sound like u hav none of that.
gd luck with everyfing.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (5 June 2008):
 I love your Irish brogue there Buddy. And my answer is yes. Also Waterloo don't forsake us for the army!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2008): Is this a script for a film?? Have i opened up the wrong site? What the hell is going on? I am in a daze, think i will join the army.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2008): I do wonder about your wife though. What kind of situation is it when your wife walks in on you and another girl having sex and she dosen't say anything. What kind of wife brings her lovers home and has sex right in front of you. I've got no advice, but the whole thing sounds very strange to me.
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A
female
reader, Star_07 +, writes (5 June 2008):
 Sex is a part of a relationship. If you are sharing yourself with so many other women, my question to you is "WHY are you married??"
Thats whats great about being single. You can have sex with as many people as you want and for the most part are not hurting anyone.
Open marriages do not work in the long run. At first, it might be exciting but like everything else, it gets old and people start getting jealous and hurt by it. Why? BEcause sex isnt just a physical act, it contains love and emotions and if you are sharing yourself with another, how is your wife/husband any different.
This just doesnt make sense. Marriage is between two people (traditionally) not between you and the neighbors.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2008): You are having sex with other females and you want to know if you should allow your wife to do the same, with other men. Well, I would think in light of your behaviors, that you have no RIGHT to say to her...she can't do this. You do not own your wife. You do not own anyone, hun.
Sir, your wife and yourself are playing an escalating game of oneupmanship with real people and real lives here. How utterly sad and shallow of both of you. You are acting out sexually with other women, your wife is casting her net wide, having sex with other males. How important is your marriage? Because I am seeing two out of control, likely immature people here, who need to understand the great risks they are taking. You marriage could end abruptly when one of you, sooner or later is going to find a sexual partner they cannot resist. My guess is: it could be your wife doing this before you. Women tend to become emotionally engaged with someone far quicker than males, after having sex with someone. You both need to understand the commitment of marriage and hard efforts it takes to making it work. So get with the program and seek marriage counseling pronto...that is, if you want to save this marriage. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2008): Dude, this whole thing's messed up. Why the hell did you cheat on her in the first place? And since you did, why in god's name would you have the athourity to tell her that she can't do the same? You want my advice? Divorce her, because you're both better off without eachother.
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male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (5 June 2008):
 "Don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you."
I've seen some people who had open relationship like that, they're doing fine. Even though they have sex with other people, they're still in love.
Sex and love are 2 different things. You don't need one to have the other.
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A
male
reader, Uncle Sneaker  +, writes (5 June 2008):
 No. You shouldn't.
What is the point in being married if you are going to have sex all over the place? For me it's not a moral issue. It's fundamentally practical.
Sex bonds couples together. It's part of the essential chemistry between man and woman that keeps a relationship alive and working.
In my view, having sex as casually as that cheapens your whole relationship and makes it worthless. It also cheapens you and your wife, damages your self respect and hers, and takes away your humanity. It makes you no better than an animal.
The whole point of marriage is that you share your life and your body with someone you love, and only that person.
To do as you are doing seems to me to make your marriage pointless.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2008): I think you should get divorced. You aren't supposed to have sex with anyone other than your spouse. This question discusts me, how trashy some people can be.
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female
reader, MissKin +, writes (5 June 2008):
 I think you should respect your wife enough not to be cheating in the first place. If you did it first, how can you expect your wife not to react at all? If you're having sex with other people and think it's okay, then how can you have the double standard that she isn't allowed to do it?
I think neither of you should be doing it - i think she should leave you for doing it in the first place.
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