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*ehavioural Analysis agony aunt

*ehavioural Analysis

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12Next > [2 pages, 52 answers]

Friend of 2 years gone but why???

Q.   I have been friends with this guy for nearly 2 years and we were like brother and sister ( best friends) then out of the blue he says he doesn't want to be friends anymore and for me to leave him alone!! He won't give me a reason and some of my ...

A.   11 September 2014: I went through this at 16 - it feels crap because you (probably) haven't done anything wrong at all. However, he's a boy (rather than a man) and that means he will most likely choose a girlfriend over nearly everyone - if she asks him to. That will ... (read in full...)

I can't be myself in front of my long term boyfriend

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together around 8 years and are both in our early twenties. We get on great, and we are building our future together. There is a problem I have though, and thats we are complete opposites, I am more quiet and he is ...

A.   10 September 2014: Chances are you have outgrown the relationship. You have been a couple since you were 14-ish years old and that's a delicate time in your life, so it's lasted a very long time, but you're still only young adults and now it may have run it's course ... (read in full...)

I enjoy sex but hate to think I have a bad reputation

Q.   I am a single 22 year old woman and enjoy sex. I have had sex with a total of ten guys since i was 17 and can go a few months without any sexual interaction. Yet i am worried i come across slutty when i do go home with someone. I am always safe but ...

A.   10 September 2014: I don't agree with "slut shaming" but, because of the way people are, you have to be prepared to have a reputation if you sleep around. There's nothing "wrong" with it, per se, but there will always be people who don't agree with that lifestyle a... (read in full...)

I'm pregnant and alone, an Army wife stressed by my mother-in-law's comments on Facebook!

Q.   I dated my husband for 6 years and we just got married before he joined the Army. I'm 35 weeks so far and it's been very stressful and a lonely experience for me, I'm living alone in our old apartment and his parents are not far from me. The only ...

A.   9 September 2014: Chances are, she's struggling with her (adult) baby being in the army and she's probably worried he will think so much of you and your baby that he forgets about her. None of that means that I condone what she's doing, but I understand it. You ... (read in full...)

Is me sending my boyfriend pictures of me in my sports bra okay?

Q.   Hi :) I'm 15 going to be 16 soon. I am not exactly sure but like I've sent a number of pics of me in my sports bra to my boyfriend.... It sounds kinda stupid of me... But it also got me questioning if it's okay to actually do that? ...

A.   9 September 2014: It's never a good idea to do it, but it's even worse when either a) you're under 18 or b) your boyfriend is under 18 - which he should be because you are - but both situations put together make it a nightmare. You need to make sure he deletes ... (read in full...)

Could random kisses during a casual sex encounter mean anything more?

Q.   A guy I've been casually having sexual relations with for the past 2 weeks brought me over to his place for sex. Before his place, we stopped at the supermarket for dinner. We were chatting in the car as he parked, and I laughed about something ...

A.   9 September 2014: It could be anything. You could ask. As long as you're using condoms and are on birth control properly, I don't see a problem with it. If this kiss confuses you, ask him; you need to feel comfortable asking such questions if you're going to have sex ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend choked me in an argument and I'm extremely disturbed. What do I do?

Q.   I got into a silly tussle/fight with my fiancé a few months ago. She had been moody and snappy with me and her parents all day. At the end of the night I got fed up with her horrible attitude and said I was leaving for the night. As I s...

A.   9 September 2014: She's ill. She needs help mentally because you can't just have an outburst like that, THAT's why I'd report her to the police. If you show them the photos (and don't keep putting it off until the bruises are no longer visible) and give them a full ... (read in full...)

Do I share my money?

Q.   I recently asked a question about being married and my husband being not rich. He works really hard to provide for me and and our child. I have 30,000 pounds in savings. I haven't mentioned it to my husband as this was before we got married,...

A.   8 September 2014: Why did you marry him? If you couldn't rely on him to handle finances well, which you do because you live off of him, why did you marry him? If he's so awful at handling money, why are you effectively sponging off of him? If he's so bad with money, ... (read in full...)

How can I start being nice to my mum?

Q.   Ever since I've become a teenager, I've become a bit rude and bitchy towards my mum. I don't mean to do it, but she really, really irritates me. She tells me to do one thing then when I'm trying she gets pissed and shouts at me to do another thing...

A.   8 September 2014: Call ChildLine 0800 1111 (it's free from any phone) or visit their website and have a 1-2-1 chat online with a trained counsellor. Tell them about the hitting (in detail) and they will be able to tell you if is abusive or not and what can be done to ... (read in full...)

Should I Be Annoyed With My Boyfriends Mum?

Q.   I am a bit annoyed with my boyfriends mum. My boyfriends brother had a kid some months ago and his mum has that kids photo on her phone as a wallpaper instead of mine. I had my baby but she has not changed the photo from being of that other kid. ...

A.   8 September 2014: How about you stop making it a competition and ask to visit your boyfriend's brother's family and have a picture taken with your child and his cousin? Surely that makes more sense than being rude to a woman who presumably shows her love for your ... (read in full...)

Could my crush be gay too?

Q.   So I've been crushing on this guy for 3 years now. We met at University and became great friends instantly, we were even called a Bromance by our other friends. I always wondered if he might be gay, the "interested in" section on his facebook ...

A.   1 September 2014: If you accept yourself and come out, then your options are open. Until then, you're somewhat living a lie (in my opinion) and it doesn't help you in any way - particularly in situations like this.... (read in full...)

We both kept up the pretence that we were asleep. Our bodies touched. Could he be gay too? Should I say something or not?

Q.   Ok, I'm sure that this message sounds way to obvious however its been consuming my thoughts for the last week. I'm a 21 closeted gay dude btw. I work in a supermarket, most of the staff go for a few drinks after work on a Saturday night so it was ...

A.   1 September 2014: Unless he started touching your groin with his hand or bottom and started rubbing, there's still a chance he was asleep and it was genuinely just moving whilst asleep. Start building up enough of a relationship to ask, if it goes that way.... (read in full...)

Flirting: How would a girl react to my attempting flirting with her

Q.   How would a girl react to me flirting? What a question I know but something I think I really need to know is what do most girls do when a guy approaches them? Do they get inward butterflies are they flattered or am I just one more person to be...

A.   1 September 2014: This is your third or fourth post on girls, stop worrying yourself so much! :) Ultimately, a girl who doesn't like you may reject you, hopefully gently. A girl who does like you a little may giggle at your flirting or flirt back. However, sinc... (read in full...)

My Bf calls me insulting nasty names. I want to leave him. What can I do to ensure my future is happier?

Q.   My fiancé accuses me of cheating every single day. He heard me get raped. Ever since then he has accused me of cheating. He constantly calls me a "c**t, a stupid worthless piece of s**t" and all these other fowl things. He expects me to tell him...

A.   1 September 2014: Don't get engaged so young - you're still essentially children and can't deal with this sort of thing alone. Hun, you deserve SO much better! Have you had therapy for moving on from your rape? What did you mean when you said he "heard" your rap... (read in full...)

Forever single?. How do I learn to be more comfortable with girls? How or when or where can I touch a girl?

Q.   How do I touch girls? I have been forever single. In order for me to have a girlfriend she needs to see that other girls are comfortable round me. The problem is I fear them all so much that I can't remember the last time ( if it even exists ) tha...

A.   1 September 2014: Just join 2 or 3 hobbies a week. Forever is like 2 years when you're young, so stop worrying. Chill out and it will happen in time! :)... (read in full...)

I've moved with my boyfriend and now he's putting me on the back burner

Q.   So I really need some advice... I been with my boyfriend for little over 7 months... Well he got a really good job offer in Ky and had asked me to go with him... So last week we moved... I love this man more then anything in the world and I want to ...

A.   31 August 2014: That changes things. If your kids are still young enough to need a babysitter (particularly if either are under 10) I don't think moving in should be done until you've been together for at least 18 months because you're uprooting your kids, ... (read in full...)

How do I know he'll stick around? How do I tell my parents?

Q.   I'm 16 and Thursday I took three home pregnancy test and they all came back positive. My bf is 17 and just graduated high school in June. He is going to college almost four hours away from our home town. I still have one year left of high school. ...

A.   31 August 2014: I'm sorry, but there's no way you're mature enough to raise a baby if you want to keep this quiet for as long as you can. You HAVE to grow up *now* and tell your parents. Your boyfriend MAY be there for you, but that won't bring in enough money, s... (read in full...)

I've moved with my boyfriend and now he's putting me on the back burner

Q.   So I really need some advice... I been with my boyfriend for little over 7 months... Well he got a really good job offer in Ky and had asked me to go with him... So last week we moved... I love this man more then anything in the world and I want to ...

A.   31 August 2014: You've moved very fast in terms of a relationship. You could have been friends for 10+ years and still not last 2 years as a couple - so, you're still speeding this relationship up. Now, that's not necessarily a bad thing, but it just means you have ... (read in full...)

I've moved with my boyfriend and now he's putting me on the back burner

Q.   So I really need some advice... I been with my boyfriend for little over 7 months... Well he got a really good job offer in Ky and had asked me to go with him... So last week we moved... I love this man more then anything in the world and I want to ...

A.   31 August 2014: You are definitely overreacting. It's understandable that you feel this way, but this is a new relationship, you're moving VERY fast and you are supposedly unemployed, so he and his family are supporting you right now. Accept that you're not most ... (read in full...)

How do I know he'll stick around? How do I tell my parents?

Q.   I'm 16 and Thursday I took three home pregnancy test and they all came back positive. My bf is 17 and just graduated high school in June. He is going to college almost four hours away from our home town. I still have one year left of high school. ...

A.   30 August 2014: You can't be sure he will, that's why your family are your best support base. You don't HAVE to abort if you don't want to because there's adoption, but it would be very difficult to carry a baby for 9 months and give it up. There are great... (read in full...)

I found out my wife was/is a call girl. How do I end this marriage with the least amount of pain?

Q.   hi lovely people out there..... im really in mess. i do need your help so desperately .... please. Here is my story. i married a girl just 3 months ago. i knew her about a year. I happen to know her by a friend i used know. She was her relative...

A.   30 August 2014: I think you just need to divorce her and I'd urge you not to rush into marriage next time.... (read in full...)

We don't want his parents to look after his new puppy! How do we avoid a rift?

Q.   Need advice. So my boyfriend just got a very cute little puppy, only 8 or 9 wks old, he has enrolled him in puppy kindergarten and. is quite committed to training. Now MY parents have a very wild undisciplined and much larger dog who they ...

A.   29 August 2014: By the way, I meant one or two days in a row without spending several hours available to your puppy during that time, like not leaving a puppy alone for more than 2 hours for the first few months, even if you work full time - it's not fair to the ... (read in full...)

Can you really teach yourself to sing?

Q.   How an earth is this possible.... My sister is 20 and I've known since we were little she can't sing, she usually signs around the house and it's not bad but she's not great either. Well she's been at uni for the past 8 months and has been teachin...

A.   29 August 2014: When singing, or with any other skill, if you practice, you can pick it up. If you stop practicing, you can be quite dodgy, then practice again and get better. Skills can nearly always be improved. Her singing may have been poor before, but ... (read in full...)

We don't want his parents to look after his new puppy! How do we avoid a rift?

Q.   Need advice. So my boyfriend just got a very cute little puppy, only 8 or 9 wks old, he has enrolled him in puppy kindergarten and. is quite committed to training. Now MY parents have a very wild undisciplined and much larger dog who they ...

A.   29 August 2014: If I'm honest, as someone who is getting a puppy soon and has done several months of research beforehand, the puppy should be with you two until it's older. It's so young that it shouldn't be moving around much, especially for more than a day. I'm ... (read in full...)

High school Homecoming: I need advice, which girl might be the best choice to ask?

Q.   Hey people of DC, Forge is back again... with more high school "fun." Ready to help? The issue is Homecoming. By far the biggest school event I've been to. The dance, pep rally, football game, you know, eventful stuff. I have time on this, than...

A.   28 August 2014: The only thing I will say about the dance is ask the one you like most. The rest is about before you even started talking about them in detail. Forge, you need to stop rushing yourself with dating. Falling for multiple girls at once is normal, b... (read in full...)

Feeling bad for possibly sick ex. Should I break NC?

Q.   My ex and I were together 4 years. We broke up 2 months ago, tomorrow. I broke it off because for several months prior, while I was trying to work things out, he was pushing me to end things, so I did. He acted like he wanted to be set free so I let ...

A.   28 August 2014: I think you should come off of Facebook because you are 30 - 35 years old and you need to make this as easy for yourself as possible. There was no need to check his Facebook again and look through his pictures, but you did it anyway. Stop playing ... (read in full...)

I think I might be pregnant! Should I tell my boyfriend?

Q.   I think I might be pregnant but I don't want to say anything to my boyfriend before I know it's true. My boyfriend is 21 and im 17 and I'm on birth control but I accidentally missed 3 pills in a row. My boyfriends cums inside me but I thought that ...

A.   28 August 2014: You were pretty reckless and you need to be as mature as you can and see a doctor, just to get a complete sexual health check up (did you and your boyfriend get STD checked and show the results to each other before sex?). When did you have sex? Tell ... (read in full...)

If I stay with him, I feel like my soul will die. If I leave, I'll leave with the clothes on my back and my child, with nowhere to turn...

Q.   So I need some advice/help... I'm 24 and a mother to a beautiful 7 year old daughter. I have also been in what I have discovered to be a very toxic relationship for 5 years. To sum it up, we have both hurt each other for no reason but too...

A.   27 August 2014: Read over my comment again and see if it helps you figure out what would be a feasible way forward for you.... (read in full...)

Feeling bad for possibly sick ex. Should I break NC?

Q.   My ex and I were together 4 years. We broke up 2 months ago, tomorrow. I broke it off because for several months prior, while I was trying to work things out, he was pushing me to end things, so I did. He acted like he wanted to be set free so I let ...

A.   26 August 2014: You NEED to just ignore it. Knowing what his "status" is now will have no positive effect on your situation. There will CONSTANTLY be times and questions like this. You HAVE to let it go; you can't do anything any more. Please get counselling.... (read in full...)

If I stay with him, I feel like my soul will die. If I leave, I'll leave with the clothes on my back and my child, with nowhere to turn...

Q.   So I need some advice/help... I'm 24 and a mother to a beautiful 7 year old daughter. I have also been in what I have discovered to be a very toxic relationship for 5 years. To sum it up, we have both hurt each other for no reason but too...

A.   26 August 2014: You have two options depending on whether or not you are safe: - pack up the necessities when he's out at work or whatever, then take yourself and your daughter to you parents'/friends' house (call first) and visit your closest help centre a... (read in full...)

My ex will give me money but only after I have sex with him. I need the money but don't want the sex!

Q.   I have been trying to start a business since last year, since i am unemployed but lack of capital has been my biggest challenge. Lats month i met my ex, who is financially stable and he promised to sponsor my business. So he wants to give me this...

A.   25 August 2014: I'm sure you or someone very similar wrote in less than a week ago about the same problem. What does he gain if you get the loan and can't pay it back because your business fails? Unfortunately, we need to do what we need to do - if that means ... (read in full...)

He proposed, but every weekend is taken up with his children ... what if I want a child too?

Q.   Hi. My bofriend proposed 2 months ago. As he has 2 kids with ex, he spent Saturdays taking them out somewher, dropped them back at their mom's because she doesn't like them sleeping out and on Sunday took them to visit their grandmother from about ...

A.   24 August 2014: Could YOU not go out with him and his kids on weekends (and take your child too in the future)? I mean, if he's that serious about you, surely you'd like to spend time with your potential future stepchildren? If you had a baby, his kids would ... (read in full...)

I cant talk or text the friend I love!

Q.   im in a friendship with a guy i love ever since we met and i dont know what to do because hes in a drug program that prevents me from talking to him and texsting him and i love him so much it hurts but my question is what should i do about this ...

A.   23 August 2014: Maybe this will do you good and give you a chance to move on. He should stay single for a while, even after the program.... (read in full...)

How can I help him to open up sexually?

Q.   OK well my boyfriend is more of an asexual type. But I'm more of open to sexual things. We are both still virgins . and I'm not asking for help on how to have sex with him. I'm asking more in the way to make him open up more sexually. I really ...

A.   23 August 2014: Sorry, but you need to have a more mature view on this. Heart emojis in text don't mean anything - anyone can do it. Also, what do you mean he's more of an "asexual type"? He's either asexual or not. If you eventually want sex and he's asexual, ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend's abusive ex girlfriend

Q.   Hi. I feel so helpless to my boyfriend who ive been with for almost 6 months. He has a child at the age of almost 7 months and in he past relationship for 3 years his ex was quite physically abusive and nasty. She has still been doing it since th...

A.   23 August 2014: Too much drama for someone as young as you. They broke up 6 months ago, which means you got together within rebound time. You're dating a young father and someone who has cheated in the recent past. It's not worth the drama. If you get frustrat... (read in full...)

I can't be his first kiss but I want to be his best kiss!

Q.   Me and my boyfriend are both 24 and we're serious about each other. We want to marry soon and can't imagine life without each other but there is one issue that is distressing me. I've actually saved myself for marriage....I haven't kissed or had sex ...

A.   23 August 2014: Please see a counsellor. You realise that his best kiss will ultimately be with whomever he chooses to marry, just like yours will be. You may not marry this guy, so you will love your future husband enough to feel like your best ever kiss ... (read in full...)

My mother won't allow me to marry a younger man

Q.   I am a 19 year old girl, been in a 1yr relationship with my boyfriend without sex cos I'm scared of losing my virginity yet! I love him but the truth is I am 6 months older than him. He wishes to marry me but my mum says she'll not allow me marry...

A.   22 August 2014: 6 months really isn't an age gap, but I suppose it may be in your culture. Can he support you if you get married? Would you want to work too? Could you wait another year or two before getting engaged to prove to your mum that you love each oth... (read in full...)

We want a boy but I don't want my husband to be disappointed if it isn't

Q.   Hello! I am 12 weeks pregnant, due in March 2015! My husband wants, a little boy, therefore I do to. I even talk to my stomach as if I were having a boy. But lately I have had a lot of anxiety inside me. I am so worried that, I will have a girl, I ...

A.   22 August 2014: You can't "go about this" - it's either a boy or a girl. If he/you can't handle that, you shouldn't be pregnant. I know that sounds harsh, and I'm sorry, but it's true. I will ask something here quite frankly: does your husband own you? Your us... (read in full...)

Feeling bad for possibly sick ex. Should I break NC?

Q.   My ex and I were together 4 years. We broke up 2 months ago, tomorrow. I broke it off because for several months prior, while I was trying to work things out, he was pushing me to end things, so I did. He acted like he wanted to be set free so I let ...

A.   21 August 2014: This isn't NC. You are torturing yourself by allowing the texts to continue and checking up on his Facebook. You still love him because you haven't really broken up. You're not having a relationship any more, but you're still stalking each oth... (read in full...)

Neither of us is ready for parenting, so why do I keep thinking about having his child?

Q.   Before I begin, I would really love it if nobody judged me or made fun of me. Because I know my feelings are wrong but I just want to know what is making me feel this way. I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 21. We've been dating for almost 8 months ...

A.   20 August 2014: It's very common to have these feelings. You are still essentially a child yourself; I'm 19 and I feel like a "child" still, but I take on a few adult responsibilities to progress into adulthood. Maybe if you took on one or two adult ... (read in full...)

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