A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I really love her, we've been together for 9 months as of the other day. I ask that anyone who reads this, do so with an open mind and not cast judgement or speak against "drugs", assert that I have a problem or anything likewise. Things were really good for us until recently. I texted her and said "I may have found those mushrooms for us :)". She replied back explaining how she doesn't want to do them and never did, despite having agreed to it a couple months ago.Now I know it doesn't *sound* very good to those that don't really know what psychedellics are all about, but bear with me. Please understand that this is very important to me. As soon as I discovered that she agreed to it "Just to make me happy" only to fall back on it when the time came, my heart sank. I was overwhelmed with a wicked sadness.To explain in briefly, shrooming has been one of the most beautiful experiences in my life, and I love this girl, so it only makes sense that I'd want to share it with her of all people. I already *mostly* got over the fact that she doesn't like weed either. Again, after initially saying she'd "Do it sometimes because it makes me happy" to "Never, no, I don't like it." That hurt too, but I can smoke weed with anyone and it will be the same every time.Psilocybin Mushrooms are something you want to do with someone you like, my friend described it this way "Shrooming with someone forms a bond stronger than having sex with them." Which sounds pretty fantastical to me.I've been told by third parties to "respect her choice" and all that. I get it, I know I should. But it just hurts me so, so, so much that it's not going to happen. :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2012): I grew up without knowing anything about drugs. Made it all the way to my 20's til a BF used the same argument as you. Oh it will bring us closer blah blah blah. It's been 11 years and 10 years since I saw that guy and im still dealing with a marijuana addiction. He pushed me into doing something I didn't want to and I've been hooked since that first time. Would you trade her future happiness for your idea of a fun night? You obviously don't care much about this girl.
A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (13 November 2012):
Just because it has been a beautiful experience for you does not mean that she will have the same experience. I've taken psychedelics numerous times in my life...nothing has ever been more terrifying for me than a shroom trip.
Everyone reacts to drugs differently. If you really care about this girl, you will respect her wishes and not pressure her to take something she does not want to.
If she doesn't like weed, if it gives her a headache, makes her nauseous, makes her vomit, makes her paranoid, and/or makes her hallucinate from smoking a 'normal' amount with you, there is a very high probability that she will have a bad reaction to shrooms. She is most likely a 'lightweight' when it comes to "drugs". Whereas you can smoke a bowl, she needs only a single hit to be higher than you are. If you force a lightweight to take shrooms, you risk damaging them psychologically.
The fact that you have made this about you and are trying to guilt her into doing drugs she does not feel comfortable doing speaks volumes for just how immature you are.
Finally, in most states, possession of marijuana is a misdemeanor, and possession of psylocibin-containing mushrooms is a felony. If you make the girl take shrooms and something bad happens to her, you can be charged.
Oh, and children shouldn't be taking either "drugs" or drugs. Your brains aren't fully developed and won't be for a few more years. My fiance took psychedelics before I met him...he was about your age when one of his friends had a paychotic episode while on shrooms and was hospitalized for months.
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A
female
reader, xAx  +, writes (13 November 2012):
 without reading other peoples perspectives, I would say that you should respect her for it. she obviously really doesn't want to do it and even if you force her, she will trip out and have a bad experience. her mind isn't in the right place for taking that drug. just be happy that she doesnt mind you taking drugs, as I'm sure that would bother you more.
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (13 November 2012):
 I did shrooms once with my fella, and he had a great time. I, on the other hand, had a horrific time - and no thank you, I'll never do that again. Things got all Alice In Wonderland, and I was completely freaked out and paranoid and spent the night hiding under the covers and crying. My poor fella felt terrible.
For some people it's fun... but not for her. So your girlfriend does not want to do illegal drugs. That's a bad thing? So she doesn't want to f' up her mind completely for an evening. And you're blaming her and hurt that she doesn't want to do something illegal and intoxicating?
You need to get over this. Like your third parties say, you need to respect her decision, which is a perfectly fine one - and ultimately a better decision than the one you're making (hey, drugs can be fun... but they're still illegal). Your girlfriend sounds like she's got a good head on her shoulders, especially if she doesn't give in just to make you happy. She doesn't feel comfortable, and she's not going to put herself in a position that makes her feel uncomfortable. Good for her. If you love her, you'll respect her decision and let it go without another word. If you cant do that, then you should let her go and find someone into your scene.
Also, Cerberus is a genius. Excellent advice from him, as always.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2012): OP you're being a total idiot and not because you do drugs, but because you have no idea what you're talking about.
You sound exactly like me when I started taking drugs 17 years ago.
I've taken everything you can think of and have hoofed more shrooms than you probably ever will before they'd break you.
OP drugs are not for everyone, especially girls. I may sound sexist OP but it takes a very specific type of girl to take any drug and it has to be something they're eager and want to try. It HAS to be.
Surely you've heard of bad trips, they're not some accidental thing OP, it's not by chance you have a bad trip and they can do some serious mental damage. Shrooms are a very delicate trip, if you're not 100% happy that day, if there is any niggling drama, any reason for being anxious it will plague you during your trip and make it into a introspective nightmare examining your life in completely fucked up perspective and one you can't escape. Even if you're 100% happy, completely content it can overwhelm you and even one thought of wanting it to stop will fucking destroy your mind. If this girl has a bad trip, she will never be able to look at you again plus OP the first time you trip changes the person you are. It's a very profound change OP, you see things you're not ever supposed to see and you view the world in a light completely different than before and if your first time is a bad trip that's not a good change OP. Why do you think religions are so opposed to drugs OP? Because they change your world view and open your mind to the real god that exists, the deepest recesses of the inner psyche, it opens up the inner spirit and shows you there is no supernatural beings that everything is literally a matter of perception. They can't have that happening to people when they want them to ignorant sheep.
I've known girls we peer pressured into doing it, yes complete asshole thing do but that's how I know, and they changed OP, they became withdrawn, started being anti-social closed off, their worst fears were imagined when their mind opened up so completely and the comedown was a depression like nothing they'd ever faced in their lives before, a kind of deep foreboding despair about the person they are and what they've become. Now I said earlier that girls have to be a special type to take psychedelics, well it's very true. Have you ever looked in the mirror while tripping? It's intense, you can stuck there for hours staring at your face contorting, horns growing out of your head, every strand of hair writhing individually like some kind of worm, it's very messed up. Now teenage girls are notoriously insecure about their bodies, their face, imagine a girl like that looking in the mirror while tripping, they will see a reflection of their worst fears OP, they will see that fat, disgusting witch they think they are physically standing there in front of them and it's enough to turn shit into an introspective nightmare. Once you hit an introspective nightmare that's it, it's over and it takes a fucking expert tripper to be able to pull them out of that again, and guess what one bad trip in the group and the whole group will be dragged down by their negativity.
You sound so seriously young and inexperienced that you can't see that shrooms with your girlfriend or even weed will seriously fuck up your relationship.
OP you're living in some deluded little world of peace and love, drugs are amazing and bonding, they are, they're fucking awesome but they are seriously not for everyone and they're especially not for people who really don't want to take them. Especially when you're talking about giving a non-drug user shrooms, a person who doesn't know what it's even like to be stoned properly, doesn't know how to handle even being stoned which is incredibly minor compared to a shroom trip.
What you suggest is like giving someone who has never drank alcohol before 6 shots of tequila and expecting them to be happily drunk and not end up praying to the porcelain god all night.
OP drugs are not an all encompassing thing, they effect people in different ways, maybe you love them but you enjoy taking them and wanted to try them. You want to see that part of your mind, you want to gain a new perspective, she doesn't, that idea scares the shit out of her and that means if she did take them it would fuck her head up.
"But it just hurts me so, so, so much that it's not going to happen."
Give me a fucking break OP, what are you 12? You put a sad face beside it too? Awh poor you OP, poor little baby. Grow up, snap out of this and stop pushing something that could be seriously damaging to your girlfriend for selfish reasons or because think drugs are so amazingly wonderful. Come back to me in 5 years time and tell me you still feel this way, tell me that shrooms are the greatest thing ever and everyone should take them.
I've seen guys take knives to their arms and cut the shit out of them trying to release a bunch insects they thought were crawling under their skin. Why? Because the group convinced them shrooms are awesome and to take them when that guy was simply too mentally fragile to do so, literally had never taken drugs before and didn't know how to control himself. I can tell you, trying to get a guy in a paranoid psychotic rage on shrooms to put down a knife is not fun at all he thought his body was filled with insects, guess how he saw a bunch of guys circling him trying to calm him down as?
Shrooms are great for you OP, you have friends that enjoy taking them. You have great, profound experiences and that's your choice, enjoy it. but don't ever presume that everyone will have the same experience and don't think for some stupid childish reason that people are missing out. When trips go bad OP they go very fucking bad and you should be trying to protect your girlfriend from that not fucking exposing her to it.
Stop being an idiot and leave her be, be happy that a girl who doesn't like drugs tolerates your usage, most won't and don't think for one second that she won't dump your ass if you keep trying to emotionally blackmail her into doing something she doesn't want to. You really don't want to see what happens a girl who is scared of drugs and has no previous experience with them takes shrooms. It can devastating in the long term.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (13 November 2012):
 I agree with k-c100. Don't judge her.
Having a "trip" with your girl-friend will not necessarily bond you closer. You may have read that it can, but that isn't 100% certain. Either of you could have a negative experience.
Usually the "bad effects" are limited to acute panic and anxiety attacks during or shortly after the trip.
And you really NEED to be 200% sure that you got the right spores or you can SEVERELY damage your liver if you eat poisonous shrooms.
YOU shouldn't RELY on the shrooms to BOND with your mate/girlfriend CERTAINLY not when she isn't interested in it.
Sorry Dude, I don't think she is in the wrong. She has every right to change her mind and say no. She (and anyone else) should never do things that they REALLY don't want to do just to please a boyfriend. I'm guessing she said yes initially because it sounded harmless, but I don't think she really believes that. So RESPECT that.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 November 2012):
 Honey I know folks that do 'shrooms
I have no issues with folks doing what they want to do.
I know you are disappointed that she "lied" to you by saying she wanted to do it and she would and now she's not going to do it. I can understanding that. She said what she said thinking it would not happen and to keep the peace.
What would have happened if she had said "no I won't do them" ?
would you have tried to persuade her? Probably. And she was trying to avoid that.
NO judgement on the 'shrooms but I have tons of judgement on you wanting to force her to do something she's not comfortable with.
I would never want my husband to do something he's not comfortable with to make me happy and he would not want me to go outside my comfort zone either.
so exactly what hurts so much? the lie that she would do it or the fact that she's not doing it?
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (13 November 2012):
 You ask us not to 'judge', yet you are judging your girlfriend for not wanting to do drugs with you. She is just a sensible young girl that doesnt need to delve into some wacky psychodellic world, or become a paranoid scizophrenic hooked on weed. Just because you enjoy an activity doesnt mean you should judge others, especially someone you claim to 'love', for not wanting to join in.
If it really hurts you so much and you cant accept it, leave her so you can be alone with your drugs.
But be warned - you know drugs are illegal, so chances are one day the law will catch up with you and you will end up with a criminal record for this. And all the heroin addicts in the world start off small, with things like mushrooms and weed. Once the effects of these lower level drugs start to wear off and have no effect anymore, they move onto harder stuff. So you are really channelling yourself down a very dangerous road - one where you will get in trouble with the law and more than likely will end up hooked on the hard stuff like crack or heroin.
And even if you claim you will stick with weed and mushrooms, weed is notorious for people that start early (i.e. teenagers like you) for causing paranoia which then becomes paranoid schizophrenia.
Your girlfriend is a wonderful young girl, I am so pleased there are still youngsters left in this world who wont give in to peer pressure and wont do something bad just to make someone else happy. She knows her own mind, she knows right from wrong and you should learn a lesson from her.
If you cant accept that she is right and you are wrong, leave her and sink yourself into a drug addled future with no hope, while she goes on and prospers in life.
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A
female
reader, VenusFlowerBasket +, writes (13 November 2012):
Different people do not have the same reaction to drugs, what may be a fantastic experience for you could turn into one of sheer horror for her, and could even traumatise her, I know because it happened to me, and it happened to me whilst smoking the apparently harmless marijuana. Back off mate. You'll regret it if she ends up terrified whilst in the middle of a trip and is never the same again. I'm actually worried about her, I'm worried you are going to pressure her into it.
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (13 November 2012):
 Not everyone is interested in it. Pressuring her isn't going to make her want to do it, in fact, it will only do the opposite.
Not everyone has "good trips". Bad tripping is an absolute possibility, and some people (like myself) never try shrooms just because of that possibility.
Leave it be.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2012): Very hard not to be judgemental about drug taking, but will try.
She doesn't want to do it. She's entitled to change her mind, whether it's drugs, alcohol, sex, jumping out of a plane. Quite honestly, to feel HURT because she doesn't want to share drug taking with you is ridiculously immature. If having a girlfriend share drug taking is "very important" to you, let her go and find another one who shares your interest.
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