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She would really freak me out as a serious girlfriend...

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Health, Sex, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 January 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 22 January 2010)
A male United States age 36-40, *upidkuri writes:

Hi, I'm 26 years old and I've been having quite a dilemma lately.

Here's the story: One of my two best friends is a girl, and well... she tells me everything... she's also very sexual and relates almost everything to sex in a healthy way i guess, and me being her friend and knowing she's kind of a slut well i've always thought of being just that, a friend and nothing more... and thats how things have been for the last few years, we always tease eachother and theres an obvious attraction but we've never gone farther than a simple fooling around kiss(alcohol involved). This is a very "Cruel Intentions" type of relationship. In all honesty, I don't try anything with her cause I'm pretty picky with girls I sleep with, and I know she gets around. In the past few months I've been getting a notion that she wants something more, but this I base on stupid text messages where she says she misses me n shit. Then I see her in person n she starts babbling about her sex life so I'm like... "ok" and I erase that notion from my head. She's flirty as hell with everyone, specially me and I'm used to it, but lately she's been kinda weird, let me narrate to you part of a little talk we had through text messages on the phone:

Her: xxxxx

Me: oo kisses, where am i receiving those?

Her: Your Homer Simpson plush slippers haha

Me: ah, lucky them

Her: You're the lucky one, cause they may have my kisses but you have my heart.

Me: I do?

Her: Yes :-) Do I have yours?

Me: Heh, not until you behave.

Her: Whaat? I'm not naughty!

Me: You're not?

Her: No, never...

Me: Liar

Her: But if I dont have your heart I can't do anything about it...

Me: (I don't remember what I said I just changed the subject)

Oh, I forgot to mention. We were at a party like 2 months before the chat.. and her, another guy friend and I were having a little chat about sex, my dude friend and I agreed that sluts are quite compelling though they're definitely not the kind of girl you want to be with. So she jumped and said "well what do you want virgin nuns?" we just laughed and i said I preferred a virgin nun to someone who could kill me for sleeping with them cause of some disease. I wasn't really talking about her nor did she take it personally but she got kinda quiet. A few weeks later, she said she'd finally taken the decision of getting herself a boob job (she'd been talking about it for like a year). So she got her boob job, and I wanted to test her. I said something like: "You better take care of those things, I don't want you to come crying to me one day that some asshole pulled you a little too much" She said something like no asshole was gonna touch her, that she planned to stay away from men for atleast 6 months, I just laughed as is if she were joking and said alright. That's when I started getting more suspicious about the whole situation...

I still see her flirt with people on her facebook though and i don't doubt she keeps doing it at her university.

Anyways, that's pretty much how it went. I still haven't seen her in person, we still msg eachother every now and then to tease ourselves, but that little chat has been stuck in my head and we haven't mentioned anything about it.

So let me clear things up. I love this girl as a best friend... I have no feelings for her, atleast I won't let myself have them cause I know the painful consequences that would endure. I honestly hope she doesn't have those feelings for me and I hope she was just being the tease she's always been that time we were texting eachother. If she's DOES have those feelings then I'm in for an adventure, I don't know what the fuck to do or think, i don't want our friendship to ruin itself because of it. and I don't wanna get caught up in an emotional relationship with her because i've been hurt before and she would really freak me out as a serious girlfriend...

I'm supposed to see her this weekend... I'm gonna try find out wtf is going on, maybe i'm just exaggerating everything... but maybe not.

So I wanted to read some feedback, what do you guys think?

View related questions: best friend, facebook, flirt, liar, sex life, text, university

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A male reader, cupidkuri United States +, writes (22 January 2010):

cupidkuri is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks janniepeg, I appreciate your comments. She's not an online friend though, I've known her for like 3 years in real life, sorry if I made it out that way... I guess we chat and text message a lot since I'm always working and she's always at school. But when we do see eachother, she's as sexual online as offline... the only thing I don't get offline is the sentimental shit she says online you know? She's real sweet online and says stuff she's never said before like "i miss you" and "you have my heart" but when i see her offline she's babbling about her sex adventures. Another thing I've noticed lately is she's pretty jealous if I do the same thing, if I narrate something I had with a certain girl she'll get quite jealous.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (22 January 2010):

janniepeg agony auntShe's trapped playing a role. She wants you to get her out of it, yet what would be left of her after she abandons this image she has perfectly crafted? Every guy likes a girl to talk dirty, but occasionally, not all the time. She makes it seem like there are only two kinds of girls, virgins or whores. Maybe she had a strict Catholic upbringing and is rebelling against it.

I would freak out too if I were you.

She is an interesting person and I don't blame you for being curious about her. When you meet her you will have a clearer idea of what to do with her. A girl could say whatever online to get people's attention, who she is in real life no one knows. But definitely she would not be boring.

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