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Recently broke up with Bf. Who says he still loves me. Now his friend is interested in me. Is it too soon to go with the other guy?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Crushes, Dating, Friends, Teenage, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 August 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 13 August 2012)
A female Canada age 26-29, *opeless.romantic writes:

I recently broke up with my boyfriend, but he says he's still in love with me.

And one of his close friends, let's call him X , recently was left by his girlfriend, but still has some feelings for her.

So this brings me to my problem: I've been talking to X quite a bit over the past few days and I can feel myself slowly developing feelings for him.

Every time I hang out with him, I feel like there might be something special between us. I'm not ready to be with someone new just yet, and I know he isn't either, but I really don't know what to do about these new feelings. Do I ignore them? Or do I tell him?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (13 August 2012):

Honeypie agony auntDon't get into something with his FRIEND. That's just sleazy of the friend AND you.

The guy X is not over his GF, he just wants a rebound, you are not over YOUR ex and you just want someone to love.

Take the time to get over ONE relationship before jumping into a new one. You are doing yourself NO FAVORS by considering seeing X.

Let them both go and focus on you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2012):

I think you should ignore whatever you're feeling, its probably not what you're thinking anyway. I can't imagine you developing genuine feelings for someone you've only been talking to a few days, not to mention so soon after you've split from you're boyfriend.

You said nether of you are ready for a new relationship this soon, so what's likely to become of this?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2012):

My advice is to ignore them. It is never a good idea to get involved with your ex's good friend, no matter how old you are. If you find that you can't hang out with this boy without your feelings growing, then I would suggest limiting the time you spend with him.

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A male reader, grymsoul United States +, writes (13 August 2012):

grymsoul agony auntDo you have any idea what you're doing to these guys? You're jumping from one friend to another. Seriously, it's one thing to leave a guy but to also start talking with his close friend? Oh and I do use the term "close" loosely. I don't have any friends that would move in on my ex if he knew I still had feelings for her. I also wouldn't pull such a scumbag move either.

You might not understand but it's quite a popular law in a mans world.

DON'T DATE YOUR BESTFRIEND'S EXs! Especially if your friend hasn't gotten over her yet. It's bound to create ripples in the friendship. In fact, it's a bit insulting that you even refered to them as close friends. This is not something a friend would do to another. Just call them aquintences and nothing is wrong with this scenario.

If you've considered what I wrote and don't see them as anything more than passing aquintences then yes, you should tell him how you feel about him.

But if you still see them as being "close" then you're just adding fuel to the fire by involving yourself with this guy. No friend would do what he did.

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