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My roommate's gf woke me with a bj! He's promiscuous so I wasn't feeling guilty, but now I am....

Tagged as: Cheating, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 July 2009) 7 Answers - (Newest, 8 June 2010)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

OK so I have a roommate who always has girls spending the night at our place. I don't mind since it is his room and his business. Since we have moved in he has had at least thirty girls. Sometimes they moan really loud which turns me on at night and so I masturbate to sleep listening. I never have any girls and he teases me constantly about being celibate. He even told his girlfriend (I overheard them in the room) that I want to be a priest because I don't like women just altar boys. I was really pissed by that slander but because he is bigger and richer and has more confidence than me I am on the shy side so I never confronted him. He also brags to me all the time about his big penis. At one point I told him I was saving myself for marriage (not true I just have no luck with girls) and he said that if I ever got married he would fuck my wife for me on my wedding night while I sat and listened. I think he knows about my jacking off when he brings women over. So why do I stay? Short answer, money. I am poor but can stay in a nice place paying only 5% of rent. Yes that is shameful. I can be bought but growing up poor I always hated living in dirty home.

Now here is what happened. My roommate's latest girl is a real moaner. I swear all the neighbors are up. A month ago I woke up early and saw them walking out of my shower (we have 3 bathrooms and I get one). My roommate sensed I was awake and turned on the light. They were both naked, and since I had gone to sleep listening to her, I was also under the covers. I had an erection and they both laughed then went back to their room to continue their sex.

Two weeks ago my roommate girlfriend woke me up with a blowjob. My roommmate left for work early but I guess she stayed back. After she tells me not to tell my roommate.

Now thing is I liked it and at first thought Good Job! But now I feel guilty befcause this guy pays for most of my rent even if he is mean to me sometimes. But then he is also promiscuous and so why can't his girlfriend? Or maybe this is another joke of his? I am confused. Please help.

View related questions: blow-job, celibate, confidence, erection, money, moved in, roommate, shy, wedding, wedding night

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A female reader, fuzzy thoughts United States +, writes (8 June 2010):

Heres the thing,

him paying for you is a lee way to do anything he wants to you. And you know it. I know what its like growing poor, and I think this is a bigger issue than his 'friendly' gf.

You are scared if he finds out you'll be kicked out.

You didn't do anything, so don't feel guilty about her, but you should feel guilty about how you are letting yourself be treated..

Dignity is worth a lot more than a clean home. Don't be his bum boy bro, there are solutions.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2009):

Where are the guys on this site? What an experiene, why analyse it. I'd remove your lock and pray that he is having some fun with you and pray that he continues to do so. The worst thing that could happen to you is if she left him.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2009):

Why would you feel guilty when you had nothing to do with what happened. His paying 95% of the rent has nothing t do with it. I suggest you leave the door open next time she is there and if it happens again, who cares why she might be doing it. Don't you feel great that you have indirectly stolen his woman, he deserves it and so do you.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2009):

I agree that he could have told her to do this, I'd give it at least 50/50 that he did. But if it was indeed his setup, the question is whether he did it just to give you some fun or whether he did it to test your honestly & loyalty.

If the girl did it unprompted, that's something else. Has she shown any signs of doing anything to you again? Either way it's probably bad news to keep this going behind your roommate's back. Maybe you tell him on your own or maybe you don't, but you'd better not lie about it to him if he starts asking.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2009):

Good advice to lock your door.

But sleeping with roomie's girl even if he is a dick is just wrong. The guy pays 95% of the rent! Now if he wanted you too, that's fine. Maybe he wants you to join in. Assuming you want it too, have fun! But you should definitely talk to the guy. If he knows about it this could be a test about whether he trusts you or not.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (17 July 2009):

Honeypie agony auntLet it go. He dates promiscuous girls for a reason, he doesn't want a steady girlfriend. So the Flavor of the month gave you a BJ? Well, enjoy it and forget about it.

I'm willing to bet that your room mate asked her to do it.

Unless you want to move out I suggest you close your door and lock it if you don't want to be the butt of his jokes ( as far as sex & his dates go).

Focus on that fact that you two are just room mates.

Now, IF he asks you if she has ever done this or that to you, then be honest. Tell him.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2009):

Well, if it was a "joke" of his, I can think of worse. ;)

The real issue seems to me that you're living there at all. I'm not entirely sure what your roommate is getting out of this arrangement, other than a punching bag of sorts. I quite understand wanting to get away from squalour, but I have to wonder if you wouldn't feel better about yourself if you found a way to make do on your own, or with a roommate who was a better fit with your personality. Knowing you've sold out is corrosive to your pride, which in turn doesn't exactly help when it comes to getting girls.

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