A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Three weeks ago I started a job in my career path that I’ve been praying for for a long time now. Great location for me, benefits, union, pay is good, the whole nine yards. I feel so overwhelming blessed for me and my family. The only downside to this all is I feel like its a very demanding position it is full-time, with every other weekend. I barely have anytime for anything else other then work in our days, and I feel like i miss out in a lot of fun stuff lately with my friends and family because I have to work every other weekend. I’m grateful for this opportunity and I love what i do but I always told myself I never wanted to revolve my “life” around my job and I feel like that is what i came down too. Maybe Im being just a little bit selfish and maybe I’m being Immature about the situation but Im 25 years old and I still have a lot of life left in me. I just wanted maybe someone older and wiser’s option, an outsiders look. Does anyone have an input?
View related questions:
immature Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (30 December 2018):
 I spent a few years in the army, now that’s a job that your life revolves around. You can say goodbye to your social life when there’s the chance that you can be called into work at any time, expected to deploy at any point for months/years. For 3 years I missed out on being able to attend events, birthdays, holidays with my friends and family with being away from home, but I chose the job, I knew the sacrifices I had to make and no matter how annoying it was that I had to miss these things I had no choice as it was my job.
Working through the week and alternate weekends really isn’t a big deal. Maybe so if you aren’t used to it, it will take a transitional period for sure, but you’re basically describing a normal job but with an extra 2 days every fortnight, what’s the issue? You say you love this job, so is it REALLY that much of a sacrifice? How many people do you know that hate their job? Can’t stand waking up early every morning to drive to a place of employment that they despise? You should count your lucky stars that you have something that you enjoy! Some wouldn’t class that as ‘working’.
In my current job I now work mon-fri, setting off around 8:15am and finishing around 4pm, most days choosing to work an additional 2 hours overtime and for the past few weeks 8 hours overtime on a saturday and still have plenty of time to myself, you can make time for family and friends if you really want to.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (29 December 2018):
 Its been only three weeks, way too little time to determine anything. Give the job 6 months. Then re-evaluate. But if its a full time job, that means you get two days off in the week if you work the weekend. So it will be the same amount of work even if you dont work weekends.
Give it a lot more time. You will adjust. And if you still hate it in three weeks, then write back to us.
...............................
A
female
reader, Xx-Scorpio-xX +, writes (29 December 2018):
 Unless you choose to be a teacher or and office worker both of which have weekday 9-5 hours then you're not going to get the exact hours you want.
I am a chef and have very little social life as work every weekend, and all afternoon usually finishing at 11pm at night. i knew what I was going for in to the job though.
A job you enjoy and pays well is more sensible to have. I would give anything to have a full weekend free to myself every couple of weeks~ you're lucky! I don't remember the last Saturday I had off!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2018): I am with WiseowlE give it time and the more experience you gain the easier it will be. Every job is hard in the beginning till your brain and muscles get used to it and yes one's life must revolve around his/her career unless you are the heiress to a millionaire.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2018): You're very young and getting a full-dose of adulthood and responsibility. Yes, it is quite overwhelming and demanding of your time.
Here's the good news! You will become accustomed to it; and you will learn to be highly efficient, and how to work your around your schedule. No matter how hard it might get.
You'll accumulate personal-time and vacation; and you will value your personal-life all the more! Partying and hanging-out is what we did in high school and college. In adult-life, we work, have serious relationships, raise families, and try to contribute something good to society. We give-back something for all the blessings received.
I was a manager for a long-time with my company; and then promoted to a Regional Director. It takes-up all my time.
Yet I still have a life!
I still have a relationship, I still get to enjoy my hobbies, friends, and my family. I travel, mostly for work; but still for my own pleasure. I even enjoy coming online to help here on DC! I've learned to prioritize, organize, and fit things into my busy schedule. I shun the term "multi-tasking." To me it implies spreading yourself too thin; and something will suffer, or the quality of your work decreases. Sometimes you have to stop and reorganize. You might have to drop some of the things you like; but no longer have time for. As an adult, we make some sacrifices.
Always make quality-time for your loved-ones. It may have to be short, scattered, or limited. You'll find a way. Your significant-other should be understanding. Nothing should come before taking care of your kids, if you decide to have children; and nothing should keep you away from your parents, when they really need you. There will be times you must put aside your career for those who love and depend on you. You'll know when that time comes.
Oh, my dear, all that takes a lot of practice. Much trial and error; and you will mess-up! You might have to break promises, or cancel things here and there. That's my life; but I wouldn't trade it for anything!
Congratulations on your dream-job! You need to give yourself time to get adjusted. You need to minimize your distractions; and let your friends know that sometimes your career hits the top of your list of priorities. They should understand. Much is required of you when you land a good job.
Socializing was easy back in the day when there was little responsibility. Now in the real-world, you learn how to make the most of your time; and you'll learn to be creative and practical. You will figure-out ways to fit as much into your schedule as reasonably and humanly possible. You'll surprise yourself at how good you'll become at doing this!
Sometimes you will be overworked and exhausted; but you landed the job you wanted. Now you have to do what it takes to keep it, and excel at it. Where there's a will, there's a way! Learn to compromise, make adjustments, and use your best judgement. Oh, sometimes you'll have to pray!
I wish you all the best, my dear!
...............................
A
male
reader, TylerSage +, writes (29 December 2018):
 You need to actively start managing your time better. Outside of your working hours start scheduling meets up and arrangements with friends and family. It doesn't need to be anything demanding. It could be a movie, a dinner at your house, a picnic in the park, a lunch date or even a phone call. It doesn't need to be anything overbearing just activities that allow you to still save some fragment of your social life. Also you need to ensure you take time out for yourself when needed. You can catch up on things like social media and messaging during your lunch breaks. When at home, learn to cut out TV, Netflix and web browsing and get enough rest.Life isn't easy and everything comes with its pros and cons. The most you can do now is budget your time wisely so that you show you friends and family and YOURSELF that you CHOOSE to make time for them as well as tend to your needs even though you're busy.All the best.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (29 December 2018):
 My husband served 26 years in the Army. You can bet your bottom dollar that he missed out on a lot of family and social stuff.
And now that he is retired he is trying to play catch up a bit. Which is good for him.
You have gotten an opportunity to help take care of your family financially. I would give it a few years to let the job and the routine settle down.
And here is the thing, OP WE ALL MISS OUT on stuff in life. If you didn't have a job there would be OTHER experiences you would miss out on, etc. etc. Same goes for those around you.
No one wants to spend all their time at work. But they also don't want to have to go to food banks, not have a roof over their heads, not be able to afford education for the kids.... you name it.
In life we ALL make sacrifices. You just have to decide if the good out-weight the "bad" for you and yours.
However, I will say this, starting at 25 to build up a 401/savings/retirement means that you CAN actually retire and still live. You still HAVE every other weekend off, make the best of those.
...............................
A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (29 December 2018):
 A great job usually means having to work hard and making sacrifices. You need to ask yourself what is more important to you? I do want to point out that you have only had this job for 3 weeks so I don't think you've given yourself enough of a chance to adjust.
My husband is a cardiologist. When I met him 18 years ago, he was working 18 hour days 7 days a week in a quite famous hospital. He worked his butt off and was just absolutely exhausted. He wanted to make something of himself and he had to work harder than others because he is from Japan. There were many nights/holidays/weekends that he wasn't home because he was working. It was hard on him obviously and hard on me because basically he was "married to his job".
2 years ago he accepted a job as a professor in a university. He works 9-5 and has the weekends off. Great job, less stress, more money and best of all I get to spend time with him. He worked for this kind of opportunity and it paid off.
Be patient is what I suggest. My husband and I are twice your age. You can still make time for family and friends but give the new job a chance. The day may come when you will be very happy you stuck it out. Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (29 December 2018):
 You can either have a career or you can have a continuous social life. You need to decide what is important to you at this stage of your life. In a perfect world you could have both, but we don't live in a perfect world. Everything is about compromise and choices. Your call.
...............................
|
