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My husband left me for our son in law

Tagged as: Age differences, Big Questions, Breaking up, Faded love, Family, Gay relationships, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 June 2022) 3 Answers - (Newest, 9 June 2022)
A female Canada age , anonymous writes:

I just learnt that my husband of 42 years has left me for our son-in-law who is 36.

That's a 36-year age gap!!

I feel angry and betrayed and am worrying about the future.

We had a good marriage and I had no suspicions he was even having an affair.

I only found out yesterday after he told me that he'd been dating our son-in-law since last August and wants to marry him soon and raise our grandson with him. Our son-in-law has an 18-month-old baby and I love being grandma to him.

It makes me feel sick to my stomach, like I'm not needed.

He had a smug look on his face when he told me the news. Talk about "dropping the bomb!".

Of course, later on he was dropping the bomb in another way, i.e. spending hours in the bathroom, and was on the smartphone to... our son-in-law and I could hear sexy time talk between them.

Makes me want to hurl.

I feel sorry for my daughter and grandson.

I've got to tell my daughter about this but don't know when or even if she knows about it.

I appreciate that you probably might not get posts like this from someone my age, I'm 68 years old.

I feel sick as a dog and like my marriage was a fake.

We had a no-secrets marriage, or so I thought.

I'm fuming, as I moved here from the States aged 23 and never returned, marrying him aged 26.

I love where I live and probably would never return to the States. Although I do miss my Mexican food and beer, it's harder to find decent Mexican food where I am. More like an expensive treat!

My home state has that though, but I've only been infrequently.

Now I feel in turmoil and confused.

I need support and don't know what the best option is; would counseling work or would it be too expensive?

But back to the big issue; how should I handle my husband's affair with our son-in-law?

I'm also worried about when rather than if family members find out and repercussions of that.

Am I wrong to have all these worries?

Also, there'll be a social stigma that my husband and son-in-law's relationship will have, beyond it being a gay relationship. Isn't this just sick and wrong?

I don't know how to cope and really need your advice, guys.

At the moment riding my motorbike seems like an attractive way to get rid of the stress as a hobby; it's a classic 1990s one I bought for pennies on the dollar years ago.

Is that one way of coping, or not, going for a motorbike ride and a small hike?

Sorry to vent. Needing help on this delicate situation.

View related questions: affair

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (9 June 2022):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntWithout even reading this, I know this is our fantasy writer. So many posts from them recently. What the hell is going on?

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (9 June 2022):

kenny agony auntTesting123

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2022):

How did you work out that huge age gap?

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