I've said I wont move back in until he is divorced, so why is he taking so long

A female age 41-50, *mcm writes:

hi there, i met my partner 4 years ago, he told me he was seperated and looking for a new relationship, we clicked right away and we were in love in a few weeks i thot he was the most well mannered man id ever met he is 16 years older than me i was 31 when i met him he had his own house and ran a business for years, he swept me of my feet he told me that his wife was abusive as well as an alchoholic, she always threw him out saying she hated him and wanted a divorce he put up with this for 4 years and decided to get his own place and move on, which is why he looked for a new relationship prior to this he would never have dreamt of going with someone he was married 25 years 3 grown children and irish catholic, but to cut a very long saga short he left me a few times as he couldnt take the guilt she all of a sudden wanted him agsin and would threaten suicide or use her children against him so i understood his situation but i was gutted whenever he went back , after about a year id had enough it was me or her so we moved into a farm which a helped turn into a lovely home i never left his side i lived there for the next 2 and a half years with my w young children it wasnt all rosy he would always defend her and help her with money even though she is really wealthy his family in ireland didnt want me in there town and when he did take me over he never took me anywhere he might be seen with me he wasnt that great with my kids even though i treated his as if they were my own i couldnt understand why it was taking so long for him to divorce he kept telling me it was money and she wouldnt agree to anything, you can imagine my shock when he turned rounnd one day and told me after nearly 4 years of being with me he was going back to his wife , i was shattered and needed help from my doctor and friends to get me through what was to me the most traumatic time in my life i loved him dearly, i lost 2 stone in weight in 2 months in between times he would call me and tell me he still loved me we would meet up have sex then hed always go back, he told me he was only back to get her to sign papers as she wouldnt unless he went back to her, well eventually she coped on that he wasnt interested in her as he wouldnt get close to her and show her affection he admitted to her that he didnt love her that way but cared for her deaply, he told her he loves me we are back together 2 months although i wont move back unless hes divorced but he still hasnt made any attempts to seek it even though ive asked him why send me a letter begging for me back then not seek this divorce he keeps saying he will , im at the end of my tether as if i wasnt hurt enough id just started to get on with my life why is he doing this

View related questions: divorce, money, move on, moved in

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A female reader, hmcm  +, writes (27 June 2011):

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