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Is it really internet love and should I push my boundaries and send him a naked picture of me?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Online dating, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 June 2009) 9 Answers - (Newest, 27 June 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

well i met this boy online and we have been going out for like almost 8 months now hes 17 and im 15 and i really think i love him and says he loves me to. we talk on the phone evernight and text each other constantly

he has never forced me into doing anything that i didnt want to do before but now he is asking me to send him a naked picture of me and he will send me one of him.

i dont really have any insecurities about my body but im still doubting if i should do it im not really into naked pictures adn things

but i have this nagging doubt in my mind that if i dont do it soon he may leave me. like I KNOW HE WONT but there is always that possibility

what should i do?

thank you

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A male reader, Tbonex United States +, writes (27 June 2009):

Tbonex agony auntPlease do not send him a naked picture of yourself. That's not right plus he may not even be the age he says he is. He could be some old perv or worse. Wouldn't even matter if he's an old perv, could be a young one or even a female. I wouldn't do that if I was you.

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A female reader, Dear_Mandi United States +, writes (27 June 2009):

Dear_Mandi agony auntUh, don't do it! Just period. You never know wat'll happen. I mean why arent you asking ur mom this question. How do you think ur parents would feel if they're kid was sending nude pics of herself? Think before you do.

Good luck

and

Stay SAFE.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (26 June 2009):

Honeypie agony auntNo, do NOT send naked pictures of yourself. You never know where those pictures can end up out there in inerspace..

Don't do it.

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A female reader, Starlights United Kingdom +, writes (26 June 2009):

Starlights agony auntif you dont feel comfortable to send a naked picture of yourself to him, then DONT!

dont ever do something u dont want to.

any boy who truly loves u will stick with you even if u say no at times, your entitled to your freedom of choice.

also there is a risk that this naked picture could get on anyplace on the internet, so be careful!

if this boy does leave if u say no to sending a naked picture he wasnt worth it in the first place. test him before u say u love him.

Good luck

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009):

This may sound kind of harsh, but trust me, it won't work out. I fell for a guy I met over the internet, I was 13 and he was 14. He said he loved me too, but eventually he just said there's no point. Next thing you know he comes crawling back to me :P haha, then he ended up dating another girl, without even telling me. But if you truely feel as if you love him, then go ahead and arrange to meet up. Don't send him the picture, if he truely loves you, then your personality would be enough right? Tell him you're not that keen on sending it, if he loves you, he'll understand. Best of luck! :) x

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A female reader, Lilly Rose United Kingdom +, writes (26 June 2009):

Lilly Rose agony auntHow do you even know this boy is really 17...he could be 30 odd....do not send a naked picture....a naked picture does not mean or show love....find other ways...have you seen him on cam to make sure he is just 17 and not some old pervert?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009):

You should never push your boundaries. Not for any one for any reason. Simple as that. Especially to make someoen stay with you. Your not sending him pictures is NOT a reason for him to leave you and if he does, you're better off without him.

~SY.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (26 June 2009):

Tisha-1 agony auntIf you don't do it and he does leave you, then you are better off without him. I think it is illegal to possess or share child pornography, and you are still technically legally a child, I think, in the UK.

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-it-fun-to-take-pictures--why.html

Read that through at least 3 times, and then have a good long think about those consequences. What if THIS happens, what if THAT happens.

My personal guideline is never to post ANYTHING that I wouldn't my mother to see or read. If it doesn't pass that test, I don't send it. Stuff like what you are proposing can come back to haunt you in the future. It could affect your schooling, your job prospects, your family!

Please prove my theory wrong, that teenagers have a problem thinking things all the way through. I mean ALL the way through. Not just to the point here: "if I don't do this, he'll leave." Go beyond that to a year's time, 5 years' time, 10 years' time. Show me how you've worked out all the possible consequences.

So if you don't really want to, don't do it. Really, don't. Take care.

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A female reader, betty_black United Kingdom +, writes (26 June 2009):

betty_black agony auntYeah i wouldnt do it. Its only so he can show it to all his mates and brag about it. I did it a couple times when i was your age, and trust me thats the only outcome. I mean, what else do you think you're gonna get outta this?? It isnt gonna make you closer cos you've seen each other naked via pictures. And another thing, do you know that this guy is who he says he is? Theres alot of predators online and thats exactly the way they work, they dont pressure you into anything and speak so nicely so that you fall for them and then start asking for stuff like that....

I think you should be uber careful with this one! I knew the people i was talking too were real cos id met them before through friends, but do you??

Anyway, either way its not such a good idea. Be careful!

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