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I'm 12 and want to have sex! I'm scared but I want to. Should I???

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 September 2007) 39 Answers - (Newest, 28 December 2008)
A female United States age 18-21, * luv tom crago writes:

i am 12 i want to have sex with my boyfriend. what should i do? i am so scarde but i want to, so should i have sex with him

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2008):

i know how you feel ..but honest 12 is too young i felt like that before too..

so i suggest that you should have sex when you are ready and don't rush

also, always remember to have protected sex......

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2008):

Look im 12 and i fiink bout se x sometimes yeahh , and sometiime i want it ....

i know this sounds rude but youh shud jus masterbate and when ur older have sex OKAY

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A female reader, Fiona xxx United Kingdom +, writes (6 June 2008):

Fiona xxx agony auntYou are way too young, the age of consent is there for a reason. It will feel different when you are 16 or 18, like the real thing rather than a kid playing at an adult's game.

It is natural to be curious.

I am even getting to the point when I don't believe questions like this. Perhaps you have some curiosity and want to gossip at school a bit?

If you thought you were doing right you wouldn't have asked.

There is more peer pressure about sex than anything else, so don't feel the pressure, be an individual. There is plenty of time for all this in a few years time.

It is natural to want to grow up quickly, but save this experience.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2008):

Do not have sex with your boy friend at age 12. You may grow up to regret it. It may even bother you someday to the point that you need counseling. If you are horny, just buy a dildo. Besides, dildos can't get you pregnant....

Rob

Male age 19

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008):

i dont think u should have sex yet...ur 2 young.If ur boyfriend wants u 2 and your not ready dont do it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008):

check the laws in your state, but it is quite legal in alot of places (washington for example) basicly if he is around your age it is legal but i PERSONALLY would not advise it as you become socially akward; trust me, when i was that young my girlfriend and i wanted it but we decided backing off was probably best

P.S. use condoms if you do

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A female reader, rachhbabes United Kingdom +, writes (3 May 2008):

i think 12 is a little bit too young to be honest. maybe you should wait a bit, until you're both truly ready. your scared and theres probably things that you dont know at your age. there is a bit to be scared about but you'll know when its the right time.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008):

I can't believe the last posts have actually encouraged this! No, you shouldn't, whether you use protection or not!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008):

Well make sure at least one of you wears a condom if you do. Make sure he wants to do it. If you just want pleasure, then masturbate.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2008):

go 4 it but make ur boy friend use a condom and go on the pill ur self

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2008):

I'm 14 now but I had sex at the age of 12 and it didn't exactly turn out how I imagined it would. Two months after having sex I noticed that I hadn't had a period and I was ill quite a lot. I took a pregnancy test and couldn't believe the result - POSITIVE! After that I did non-stop pregnancy tests. I couldn't face telling my parents so I told my older sister who came with me to a clinic to get an abortion. It effected me emotionally, physically and mentally. It was the worst thing I've ever had to do. From my point of view definitely wait until you are ready and the legal age x :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2008):

im only 12 too and i feel the same way. however, i know that even though i want to, i might not be emotionally or ph6ysically ready- and you might not be either. you should talk to your boyfriend about how you are feeling- you never know, he might be able to help.

but in the end its your choice and you should do what feels right for YOU!!!

good luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2008):

im 12 and i want to do it but keep your mind destracted, do stuff. But i dont think you and me are ready!! Lots of love

ashley

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2007):

well.... im 12 too i want to have sex to but its not worth it if u wasnt pleasure finger ur self or somethin i mean its not gonna kill u to wait untill ur 18

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2007):

i am 13 and i feel the exsact same way!!! this might sound gross but some times i masterbate to feel pleasure

i think you shouldnt do it though because you will regreat it so keep your pants up!!

JUST WAIT TILL YOU'RE MARRIED

I KNOW IT SEEMS FAR AWAY BUT IT WILL BE HERE BEFORE YOU KNOW IT

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007):

i dont think you should OK

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2007):

No you should not have sex, you will regret it so much when you are older. Ive know so many people who have made that mistake. Please wait, do it with somebody you love and trust.

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A female reader, melodaea United Kingdom +, writes (28 September 2007):

melodaea agony auntNo.

It is illegal, and could permanently damage you and put your boyfriend in jail for statuatory RAPE.

There are reasons there are age limits in place. You really must wait until you are physically and mentally ready for it- I'm sorry if it sounds patronising but it cannot do you any good- you'll only regret it. Tell your boyfriend this, and if he is any sort of decent man he'll understand. I just hope this reply isn't too late.

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (21 September 2007):

rcn agony auntYou're too young to be having sex. People talk so much about, being scared, does it hurt, what protection should I use, those are all great questions, but here's one not asked often but the truth. The younger you are having sex, you have a higher chance damaging your reproductive system.

To you that would mean the difference in having kids when you grow up, and not.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2007):

I am as well 12 and i want to have sex with my boyfriend but idk if i should as i was always told go with your gut feeling thats what i am going to do.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2007):

i know how ur felling because i want sex as well and im only 12

i say follow your heart if you want sex then have it

thats what i say

or

you could just look up some porn and use a dildo(in your terms because your a girl)

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A female reader, little miss helpful United Kingdom +, writes (19 September 2007):

little miss helpful agony auntNO DONT DO IT you wil regreat it when your older trust me. your body isnt developed proply so it could cause complications. please dont do it if your scared about it it proves you ant ready for it. alot of people your age dont now what they want so they wait trust me your first time isnt all its craked up 2 be !!!!!!!!! its something you wil remeber for the rest of your life dont ruin that memory.

please wait.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007):

I'd wait, your so young still, and I'm afraid that if you did it now you would have an awful experience and regret it later in life. Please really think about what your considering.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007):

I'm a 15 year old and I've had sex already. If you're unsure about it then don't do it.

My main advice is to use protection and make sure you don't do anything you don't want to.

Other than that enjoy it!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2007):

please don't do it for you are still too young to handle what negative effect that might result from it.

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A female reader, auntie donna United Kingdom +, writes (7 September 2007):

auntie donna agony auntNo you shouldn't, it sounds like you're being pressured into it. You should have sex when you're ready, and you may feel you are but ou obviously aren't otherwise youwouldn't be asking people on here whether or not you should. You need to wait until you're 15/17 maybe even older but not yet. Please dont do it to yourself. If you need anymore advice you can contact me directly.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2007):

hun. when i was younger everyone pressured me. there are a few times i almost gave in. when i was about to turn 17 i lost my virginity. today i am very happy i wait. in fact i am married to the guy that took it from me. my best friend lost hers when she was 12. now she looks at all the 12 yr olds and wonder why would i do something like that. just think about what you are doin before you do it..

best of wishes

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2007):

Forget what everyone else says: go for it! Gratify your physical desires! That is the way to live and enjoy life. Do what makes you feel good!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2007):

I'm a 13 year old girl so I hope having advice from someone the saem age as you will be more helpful. :)

I'm telling you no. You'll regret it afterwards. Wait till you're 16, then wait till you find the right guy and the right time.

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A male reader, duce00 United States +, writes (5 September 2007):

duce00 agony auntI guess the other aunts have pretty well driven the point home for you havnt they? All I can add is that what you are talking about is not really sex. Its known as experimentation. If you want to have sex you will have to wait untill your mind catches up with your body. That being said, you can still get pregnant and catch STDs at 12.

Im sure you hate it when people talk to you like your a kid but we are just trying to steer you right. If you think we are wrong do a little search on underage pregnancy on this site. That should sober up your hormonal rage. There are plenty of posts from young girls who have had to struggle through becoming mothers at a young age. You dont want to become another statistic do you? Theres nothing we can do to stop you but I will say that if the real connection between a man and a woman is what you seek then wait. Your just flirting with disaster untill then.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2007):

You are much too young. why are you in such a hurry, you have got a life time of love making ahead once you are over 16. Please do not give this away.

take care

xx

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A female reader, lildeesbg United States +, writes (5 September 2007):

lildeesbg agony auntMy question to you is WHY do you really want to have sex? Answer that question. Look, when i was younger i hated when older people used to tell me I am too young. But the reality right now is that you are too young to have sex. You have your entire life to engage in sex, why start so young?

I promise you that if you do it now, you will only regret it when you get older.

Deep down you know its not right other wise you wouldnt have such doubts and be so scared. You are very wise to be scared because you dont know how many things can go wrong.

~dee

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A female reader, bubblesparx United States +, writes (5 September 2007):

You sould not give away your virginity at this age. If you wait you will be very happy that you did. You will later on learn that virginity is something special to you and when you do this you are wanting to make a commitment and I don't think you are ready to make this kind of choice. You should wait until you're ready to get married. If your boyfriend is pressuring you, dump him. If you need a friend, please email me on here. I am more than happy to help you out!

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A female reader, stawberry01 United Kingdom +, writes (5 September 2007):

stawberry01 agony aunthi

You are only 12 not saying you dont understand but if you are scared you should make yourself do something like having sex holdout for a bit make him wait you can still have fun just wait for a bit its for the best.

xxx

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A female reader, 88jane United Kingdom +, writes (4 September 2007):

88jane agony auntno you shouldnt have sex! you are far too young! the legal age isnt until 16 so i would say wait until you at least reach that age! but the fact you are scared is just proof that you are not ready! enjoy being a kid at the moment and when you are older you can start to think about sex!

take care hun!

xxxx

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A female reader, pink_fairy22 United Kingdom +, writes (4 September 2007):

pink_fairy22 agony auntPlease wait until your older. Your body and mind have not matured enough for you to be even thinking about having sex, this shows as your so scared. You need to be 100% sure about having sex. Trust me you'll be so happy that you waited. Wait till a good age 16/17 when its actually legal.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007):

Of course not. You should not have sex at such a young age. You should save that for marriage anyway. You might want to but you'll regret it later for sure. Do not sucumb to pressure and temptation. At your age I was paying with dolls and was not interested in sex at all, and when I got interested I waited and felt good about waiting. If you do it now chances are greater of becoming pregnant a ruining your life forever. Be happy with your childhood now and enjoy those moments. Sex will only bring problems to your life.

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A female reader, AskEve United Kingdom + , writes (4 September 2007):

AskEve agony auntThe fact you are so scared is proof that you are NOT ready for sex, besides your body is still that of a child and NOT that of an adult. It is also illegal to have sex at your age, just another reason not to. WAIT until you are mature enough!

Eve

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom +, writes (4 September 2007):

kenny agony auntNO you should not have sex with him because you are far to young to even be contemplating participating in sexual activities. Your so young, put the sex thing on hold till you are at least 16/17, later on in life you will be glad you waited.

x

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