A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello. I am not sure what I should do. I am in a very tough spot. :(This is the story. I like two women and have feelings for both and they both like me. One is single/available and the other is going through a separation. Do I start to date the available one or do I wait for the one who is separated to sort through her life?Any advice would help!!!!! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2012): Which one is your heart truly with? Don't date someone just because they are available.If your heart is with the woman who is separated, then wait for her. Can you? Has she told you how she feels about you or where she stands? Do you know with certainty her marriage is over? If you do, be friends with her and see where things go.As for the one who is available, if you begin a relationship with her and still have feelings for the other one, would you not think that this would be unfair to the available girl? You would be having a temporary relationship with her until the one you really care about is ready.Just ask yourself which one has your heart. That is all you need to know and that will help you determine what you need to do. But when you know, do not string the other along. This is mean.
A
female
reader, psychic fiona +, writes (30 October 2012):
 go for the single one because there are no strings attached, and what i mean by that isshe not still married and she is ready to date where the other woman is not because she still going through alot and she needs time to heal. she is not going to be focused on you she will be in days and needs time to come to her self. were the one is ready and willing and she wants a relationship, the other woman will say i just got out of one and im not ready for another one. so go with the single one your better off'no heart ake or pain.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2012): YouWish makes a great point about not using one woman as filler while you wait. When I said give one a go now I meant go for it for real and give her a complete chance.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (29 October 2012):
 I have a feeling that you would never ask this question unlss the separated woman is the one you are preferring here over the single woman.
Cerberus is correct. Never get involved with someone who already has someone in their life. A third party relationship, in this case YOU, almost always ends up hurt, possibly used, confused, and you get drawn into the baggage between her and her husband.
Don't even think about pursuing anything in any way until the divorce is finalized. That's all there is to it.
As for the single woman, if you like her for her, ask her out. If she's just "Ms. Right Now" and you don't really like her, do not use her as filler until Ms. Separated becomes available, because that is cruel.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2012): So you really have to ask whether to choose between a free, single and fully available woman or a total mess of a married woman in the middle of a separation?
There is nothing tough about that choice OP. Be a rebound or don't be a rebound. Wait and hope, or take a chance with a woman who is ready now.
Where's the toughness in that choice?
Besides you can give the free and single one a go now and if it doesn't work you can always give it a try with the rebound woman.
Separation is still married OP, I don't go for women still attached to their exs in any way, even if they've completely moved on emotionally (sharing a kid is the only exception).
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