A
male
age
30-35,
*gmitch
writes:Hi there, was just wondering if I could get peoples thoughts on this,Theres this guy I met and I have fallin head over heals for him and have done for about 3 months now. But about 2 months ago he started going out with another guy. It wasn't until afterwords I found out that he really liked me and wanted to go out with me but he thought I didn't like him so he found somebody else.I work at the same place as him and we have spoke a lot. I know a lot about his past and his ambitions and vise versa. He knows that I've been through hell in my life and how much I liked him and how gutted I was when he found someone else.He's a very big flirt, he flirts with a lot of people, but he says he only does it to get tips cause we work in a bar.But when it comes to speaking to me, it all stops, it's like he just stands there and looks at me and kind of speaks softly, he's not flirting.Most of the times I speak to him hes had quite a bit to drink cause I only ever see him on nights out. But he says all these things like I'm his number 1 priority and he keeps giving me money for my taxis home when I tell him I don't need and he says he really cares about me, but he's drunk, does he really mean it?It was his boyfriends birthday last weekend and he went to another city without him, he said he needed to get away for a while. Plus he's told me something very personal about his life right now, but doesn't want to tell his partner incase he flips out.I've had a lot of crushes before and a boyfriend. But I've never felt this way towards somebody. If I have a really bad day the only thing that goes through my head is "I need to see him".Am I just giving myself false hope or is there something there?
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ambition, crush, drunk, flirt, money Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (9 October 2010):
Hi there. If he doesn't know it already, you really need to be honest with him and how you feel about him.
Perhaps he's not clear on that. And unless you make it clear to him, he is going to have doubts about that.
No, I don't think it's having false security. You know how you feel. And from what you say, the feelings are mutual between you.
You say you work together, so when you come across a quiet time in business, perhaps you could talk to him about it and see what he thinks. Then go from there. Just make sure no-one else is nearby who could hear. You do want some privacy.
Just be open and honest when you do talk, so both of you know you're on the same page. But don't wait too long.
Hope this is helpful to you. Take care and best wishes.
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