A
female
age
30-35,
*ove_is_all_youu_need
writes:Please please help! I have avoided posting to this site for a while now about my problem because people were gettin a little sick of the situation! But now, things have got a alot worse.I like this teacher, so much! I've had troubles in the the past about the fact that he's married and never speaks to me or even notices me - but i think i have finally put them behind me.Anyways, it has been a very long 6-week-holiday for me without seeing him! This first day seemed to go really well at first, I saw this teacher many times throughout the day. Mainly because i had one of my lessons in his classroom [he wasn't teaching us] but was in and out constantly sorting worksheets out and stuff! After that lesson i see 'his' wife/gf - who also works at my school and...By the looks of it, she is PREGNANT!!! I'm totally gutted. I knew deep down that there wasn't much hope of me and him getting together since it is illegal, but now my chances are shattered! I was hoping that before i leave school, i could tell him my feelings and perhaps he would have an affair with me...or something! But yeah, with a baby on the way - its impossible! Towards the end of the last school year he did stare at me a bit, which got me wondering if he fancied me! And that led to me deciding to tell him and expecting a positive response!I've got myself into a right state over this, i honestly feel like i could cry endlessly! I really feel down in myself which i'm scared could lead to depression. I just need him so much, what he means to me is unreal and i aren't in love with an image - i wouldn't even say he is GREAT looking but something about him just attracts me and he has a stunning personality and is such a likeable person. What can i do? I feel so disappointed in myself for getting into this mess, it's all my doings! He hasn't done anything wrong to me at all and nor has his wife! What can i do? I feel so alone and depressed x
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female
reader, treats  +, writes (29 May 2008):
I can't say I know exactly how u feel but I like my teacher also.. just understand it like this.. I know u don't want to hear this but get over him.. seriously u can't still like him cuz that would be wrong. put urself in the pregant girls shoes what if there was another girl that wanted to have an affair with ur man and DID! that would be so wrong..how wud u feel especially with a baby on the way.. that's sooo sad.. please get over it for the common good of everyone sweetie.. find someone that's for u.. ull be a lot happier since they can express their love back to u...... hope everything works out.. honestly =]
A
female
reader, dreamingwithabrokenheart +, writes (15 May 2008):
 i've noticed that peoplewho ask questions about teacher-student relationships (yes this is including me) already know the answers to their own questions. they usually are also aware that the relationship is wrong, which for many probably just makes it even more desirable. they will illicit the advice of the 'Aunts' but in the end will never follow it because they already know what they want to do in the situation. so my 'advice' is that listen to what you want to do in your heart - if you really feel in your heart that having an affair is something you REALLY want at all costs, then hey, some stranger on the internet is not going to be able to persuade you otherwise! do what you REALLY want if you think it's the best thing to do. i'm not saying that it IS the best thing to do, but it doesn't really matter because people don't want to listen to the advice anyways. not a knock, it's just generally true. good luck!
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A
female
reader, Love_is_all_youu_need +, writes (14 September 2007):
Love_is_all_youu_need is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hiya Thank you 'secrets-x-sh!' I hope yur right about getting over him soon cos the pain is like so unbearable - i just wanna talk to the guy and get to know him more but...ah guess i'm just too shy! I know you say that long periods of time away from the teacher should help, but...the recent 6-week-holiday off was torture he was on my mind all the time and i pined for him so much! Being at school helps me cope better but at the same time my feelings for him grow stronger everyday...surely this isn't a good thing! :(
eeek!
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A
female
reader, secrets-x-sh! +, writes (14 September 2007):
 i know the pain you feel! im inlove with my teacher aswell and i think the more i cant have him the more i want him which really is piss, but eh i havnt got over it and im leaving school soon so im gonna have to be put through pain of not seeing him coz hes leaving too, maybes long periods of time not seeing the teacher can help get over him, if you see him most days at school your gonna grow closer to him. iv liked this teacher for 2 years, it takes time to get over someone, i know how hard it is im in the same situation, your not the only one.
Its normal to fancy a teacher .
:] dont worry
you just got to be strong and try and beilieve you can do it, goodluck x
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A
male
reader, Cake1011 +, writes (14 September 2007):
 PLEASE talk to your school counselor (or have your parents take you to see a counselor/psychologist). Immediately. Do not wait. I truly belive talking to a school counselor will help you.
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A
male
reader, Cake1011 +, writes (14 September 2007):
Hello. I would highly recommend talking to a professional counselor/psychologist. There is nothing wrong with doing that, just so you know. A counselor or a psychologist will help you to understand your feelings better and alleviate your depression.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (9 September 2007):
 Well for crying out loud go get some counseling, you obviously don't like the counseling here, you ignore everybody who has tried to help you. You only want to hear what you want to hear. Life doesn't work that way. I'm sorry but I can't indulge your stubbornness.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2007): Heya. :) Oh my, well. I really understand how you feel. I really like\liked my teacher aswell. I was 14 and he 30 and singel. So, I understand your inner feelings and in what situation your in. I think the best way, is to move on :). I know it's hard, but. Some teachers can be acting charming, but charming in a friendly way, not in the love way. :) But somehow, I know it's hard, I know how it feels! But still, we all need to move on :-). I guess that your crush on him will fade away, even though, my crush on my teacher hasn't faded away yet. But it might help if you sit down, and think. Think cleeeeeearly. Will the relationship work? Will it last? I mean, you got a whoole life on you :) Many more boys who are more adorable then him, will come into your life, and more chances and experience. And that man, are married and getting babies! :O The best way is to forget him and move on :) In that way, you wont be thinking of this everyday, or being deppressed. If you move on, you will make your days more happier, and no worries about relationships with an older man. :-) But it's understandable, I'm in that kind of situation to. But, if I can move on, I bet you can to :-). I hope what I said helped you..
Good luck :) I hope the best for you!
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A
female
reader, Love_is_all_youu_need +, writes (7 September 2007):
Love_is_all_youu_need is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIf i am as you say 'acting' and making a big deal out of nothing...then would i have the decency to admit i need help? answer = NO! I know dat i need help, it's an obsession got out of hand...Okay, so it sounds a little exagerated! but i can asure you that things are THAT BAD. I need councelling or something! Just try an appreciate what i'm going thru, and be nice - if you can't, i have nothing against that...just as long as u don't bother posting anymore unappropriate comments! please 'Eyeswideopen' xxx
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female
reader, Love_is_all_youu_need +, writes (7 September 2007):
Love_is_all_youu_need is verified as being by the original poster of the question'Eyeswideopen' How can you say that about me! Drama Queen...right so you think this is all an act do you? I NEVER PLANNED FOR MY FEELINGS FOR HIM TO GET SO UNBEARABLY BAD! I like this site as its a great way of expressing my inner feelings. You obviously don't understand me, hardly anybody does!! But if you think something like that of me, then keep it to yourself! I have my opinions of people on here too but... if i have nothing appropriate to say then i don't say it!!
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (7 September 2007):
My My you certainly are a little drama queen. I don't doubt that your friends are sick of hearing about this silly school girl crush of yours. Sign up for school play, you'll be great in it.
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female
reader, Love_is_all_youu_need +, writes (7 September 2007):
Love_is_all_youu_need is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi people. I am so depressed and upset! I can't even think straight at the moment - i feel my life is worthless! You see, the reality just hit me - i can't ever be with him, having it being confirmed that his wife is definately pregnant. I can't say i'm shocked hearing the dreaded news, i suppose i just tried to pretend it wasn't real! I can't explain how i'm feeling at the minute, my head isn't with it. And i know you lot will find me rather pathetic but i need some help to get over this! Who should i talk to; The man himself? Another school teacher who i can trust? Or just close friends [who are really sick of me talking about him] - I don't feel i can tell my parents about this, i just can't! So please don't advise me to!I've hit rock bottom and i just can't cope, i really really can't! xx
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female
reader, Love_is_all_youu_need +, writes (6 September 2007):
Love_is_all_youu_need is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo previous message - SERIOUSLY, we are in the exact same situation! My crush is also a history teacher! lol
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2007): wow. i am going through the exact same thing! I really like my history teacher, but he's married, and on the last day of school he told me his wife was pregnant!I was happy for him, but also crushed. For the past two years, I think we've had this on and off crush thing. But i don't know, sometimes his face turns red around me, or says things that are a lot like flirting. I'm going into my third year, and as you can see, it's been really hard to keep quiet about. I don't know what i'm gonna do. i'm seeing him friday at school, and you know, things are just becoming more complicated.
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female
reader, Love_is_all_youu_need +, writes (5 September 2007):
Love_is_all_youu_need is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanx 'roxyxxx' You've given me the best advice yet!
Y'kno when you told him that you liked him, how did he react? And would you advise me to tell mine too? Even tho nothing can obviously happen between us - Could it help me cope better with my feelings? Cos if it will, it might make the situation a little easier!
Sorry for all thee questions lol, i'm just so eager to sort myself out! As i know for a fact...i cannot get over him! xxx
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A
female
reader, roxyxxx +, writes (4 September 2007):
Chuck, i can more than relate to your situation!! i'm 20 now, i liked teachers too and one of our regular bus drivers. i liked him for over 2 years, and i felt exactly the same, couldn't get him out my mind, he wasn't exactly brad pitt but like you say there was just something about him. i told him how i felt and he liked me too but he was about 14 yrs older than me so nothing was going to happen but that didn't stop me. You seam very mature for your age and that might be something to do with liking your teacher(s) all i can say, from personal experience is by all means tell him but at the end of the day if anything was to happen it would be wrong and unfair on both of you in the long run. It must be hard for you to see him and his partner together even more so if she is having his baby, but that should show you the reality of the situation-he's got a family now, and i'm sure your aware, your family means everything and nothing will get between you. Hope this is of some help chuck. xxx
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female
reader, JessIzFit +, writes (4 September 2007):
 Don't worry your crush will soon fade, even if it takes a while. Get a new gang of friends or just meet up with your current mates, just do something to keep your mind of it okay sweetie.
Mail me if you need more advice
Happy to help
XXXXXXXX
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A
male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (4 September 2007):
 you need to somehow get over your crush on him, and yes its a crush. Not love. We have all been there at some point in our lives likeing a teacher or neigbour who is much older than us, and at first we think its love, but you soon will know its not.
When hes around just get your head down and think of your school work. Join a club do a sport and soon you will forget about it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): how old r u and him? Because this could just be a crush and is not worth getting worked up about. Tell your mum about him and maybe she can convince u that he is not worth it. If u told him, he may make u feel silly and depressed if he refuses u: so basially u may not like the results and it would make things awkward u and your teacher. If he accepts u, it will cause many problems. There are bad consequences either way so - as hard as it may sound - you have got 2 try and get over him and think of all the bad things about him and meet some1 else. You have not got much chance with him as he has a partner and a baby on the way. If he left his family 4 u, how bad will u feel? And his job? Think about what you are getting yourself into! Hope this helps! X x x
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (4 September 2007):
Join some clubs, get involved with sports, just stay busy. Eventually your crush will fade. I know you think you "love" him but it's all a school girl crush and that's all it ever will be.
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