A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hello to all ill try to make this long story short, i am in love with a man whom ive been with for two years, we have had some break ups along the way because he was unfaithful and got someone pregnant, he wanted to work things out so he asked for another chance and we started to work on it, talk about an emotional roller coaster!! i had to deal with the girls constant manipulation, she was always coming up with something because she wanted him for herself, hes not a monster he really is a good man and treats me well aside from the cheating the baby is now 9 months and things have quieted down a bit he takes care of his child and thats that. i really love this man and i have prayed and prayed for God to fix things between us, but just as recent as memorial day he left the house after 11pm to go out of town because he packs up families and drives trucks for the military so him leaving is never unusual because this is his job, he works holidays weekends and so forth but heres the problem, my cousin works at the same job and had a casual conversation with my mom about something that happened to him on the job, he casually mentioned seeing my boyfriend there sitting in a truck with one of there co workers, my problems is my boyfriend was suppose to be out of town considering he left the house monday night with his co worker to go out of town, when i confronted him about it he got real angry and kept hanging up on me, he told me my cousin need to get his days straight because it happened on a friday and not a tuesday, i wanted to believe him but i spoke with my cousin and he was absolutely certain he saw my boyfriend on a tuesdayi just dot know what to think, could my cousin have gotten his days that mixed up? if not, where could my boyfriend have been memorial day night
View related questions:
co-worker, cousin, military Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2019): Ugh.....when will you learn.I would have dumped him the second he cheated let alone knocked up someone else.You know you are better than this.Kick him to the curb because a tiger never can change his stripes.
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (14 June 2019):
 Why do you care if he’s cheated now? You accepted it before. OP, if you don’t want a partner who cheats, don’t stay with someone who has already cheated.
There shouldn’t be break ups or cheating in a relationship, let alone one that’s only two years old! He’s not a very good man who treats you well. He’s a lying cheater whom you can’t trust because you stayed when he cheated.
Either accept being cheated on or leave him. I’m sorry if that sounds harsh, but it’s true.
...............................
A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (14 June 2019):
 OP, take off the blinders. You are not some teenager that has no experience. See your man for what he is. A liar, a cheater and someone you don't trust. What is there to hold onto?
It still amazes me how some women will hold onto a man after he cheats and gets another woman pregnant. Darling..is your self esteem so low that you will hold onto a bottom feeder?? RESPECT yourself and kick his cheating butt to the curb. You are trying to hold onto to something that needs to be trashed.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2019): You could have saved yourself a lot of heartache getting rid of this loser when he first cheated and got this girl pregnant. Have some self respect and leave and don't look back. If you left then who knows you could be with someone who treats you properly
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (14 June 2019):
 There's a saying which springs to mind from your post: there is none so blind as he (or she) who will not see. You profess your love for this "good man" who treats you well "aside from the cheating". Cheating on someone is NOT treating them well. It is the greatest form of disrespect. Why do you not think you are worth better?
Your comment "i had to deal with the girls constant manipulation, she was always coming up with something because she wanted him for herself" makes it sound like you have put the full blame for the affair and the baby onto this girl. While I understand this makes it easier for you to deal with your boyfriend's infidelity, it takes two to make a baby and, while this "girl" should have used contraception, so should your boyfriend, especially as he had at least TWO women on the go at the time. Ideally he should not have been involved with this girl in the first place, but he's a "good man" so it was obviously her fault.
Anyone with an ounce of sense or self respect would be thinking long and hard about whether this relationship had a future, especially as you have (understandably) lost trust in your boyfriend. Do you want to carry on for years to come always wondering where he is and, more importantly, who he is being a "good man" to? If you trusted him, you would not be bothered by what your cousin said. You obviously have doubts, and rightly so. He has serious previous in this area. I would suggest he reacted so angrily because he got caught out AGAIN. Your cousin doesn't have any reason to lie; your boyfriend, on the other hand . . . well, YOU know the answer to that one.
In your shoes I would tell him he screwed up your relationship by cheating and you have now lost trust in him, so you two need to go your separate ways. However, I doubt you will do that because you try to blame the mother of the child, your cousin and anyone EXCEPT your boyfriend for what happens. You are not ready to let go yet. God is not going to "fix" this for you. YOU need to - by accepting you deserve better.
I would suggest getting yourself tested for anything he might have picked up while bonking other women without using protection (who knows if this was the only one or just the only one he got caught out with). He not only risked your relationship by getting his jollies elsewhere, he also risked your health. There is nothing "good" about that.
...............................
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (14 June 2019):
 You think he COULD be cheating?
He HAS cheated! He has ALREADY DONE IT! Why are you putting yourself through this wondering what he’s doing and what he’s up to? ‘He’s a good man’ lol no he isn’t. He cheated on you and had a baby with another woman, how is that a good person? He’s a prick, absolute scum of the earth. What he is, is a charmer. He has you wrapped round his finger so he can go out and screw whoever he feels like and worm him was out of it and you will lap it up!
How do you love him exactly? Because he sure as hell doesn’t love you. If you think this is the best man you can find then I truly pity you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2019): Your boyfriend's credibility is shot. He got another woman pregnant, and now you can't trust him. If your cousin insists he saw him, I doubt he would purposely want to upset you. If they work at the same place, you would think they'd know the schedules and travel itinerary would be on record with the dispatcher and/or his supervisor.
First of all, stop letting love cloud the facts. If you suspect he is cheating on you, and lying to you; then you can't keep fighting about it. You will have to decide whether he is trustworthy; or if you can feel secure in a relationship with him. He's not your husband; so your love is not bound to your commitment like a wife.
This is a very common problem with women. They suffer for love, and cling to men they don't trust. You're insecure because you know the other woman is vying for his time and attention; and using the baby to pull his strings.
The child is only 9 months old, and I would think he is trying to bond as a father; or see the child as much as he can without upsetting you. He may also be giving-in to her, to keep the peace; so he will have access to his kid, aside from just paying child-support. Unless he is totally detached from the baby, and has no feelings for his own flesh and blood. I do assume he knows for absolutely certain that he is the biological-father?
There is a baby in the midst of all this. Your relationship is shaky, another woman is driving a wedge between you, and you suspect he is lying. There would be record of his trip; because all drivers keep travel logs and schedules.
If he really wants to shut you up, all he has to do is show you his schedule for those dates.
...............................
|
