A
female
age
30-35,
*ememberthismoment_
writes:Right, I feel like a sleaze and know I am one... So please don't act as though I don't know...To start at the beginning, I had a boyfriend. I slept with him and he pretty much left me straight after he got "what he wanted".I was heartbroken. He did it over text as well which didn't help.I'm already 'clinically' depressed according to my councilor and his consultant... But anyhow, no excuses. About a week after him breaking up with me... I joined a site called 'beNAUGHTY', I met someone who wasn't just up for 'meets' (or in other words a quick shag before his wife got home), he's nineteen lives about 20 minutes away from me on a bus, I met up with him... (yes, it was in public, in my town center) we met a few times, he took me home I met his University house mates, who are lovely. I took him home and he met my family. They really like him just as much as I do.We entered a relationship, we had sex... I enjoyed it, he enjoyed it.We started using the 'love' word after a while, I really do love him.But I was typing in a site on his internet browser, 'beNAUGHTY' was still on his thing, so I looked in his history, there were three sites, the one we met on and two that I'd never heard of.I questioned it, he said he was deleting his accounts because it was still charging his credit card, even though he wasn't using them.I thought okay, fine. I then asked further and said "did you talk to people on it?" he said "well, yeah, on one of them, when I was on it, but nothing like. what your probably thinking" Which yes, I was questioning if he'd been talking 'dirty' to other girls.He said it was only like a "Hi, how are you? Where are you from?" conversation.And I sort of just want a second opinion because my depressed thoughts and feelings aren't as normal as yours and I can't talk to my family about it because they don't even know I was ever on a site like that...Please...
View related questions:
depressed, heartbroken, text, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (23 December 2010):
 Well you have to realise that meeting someone on a site called 'Be Naughty' is not going to be where people tend to go for serious relationships. Sites like Match.com and e-harmony are the usual sites for real relationships, any site with a title like 'be naughty' is generally where people go to be naughty and have sex, cheat etc. So the fact that you used that site, rather than any of the other dating sites out there says to men that you are looking to 'be naughty' rather than to have a serious relationship.
So be prepared that this is not going to be a serious relationship because it started somewhere so seedy.
However, if he says he loves you, and you love him, and you have met parents etc then clearly there are some strong feelings there and he must like you if he has involved you in his life like this. If you were just sex then he would not have introduced you to his friends etc.
So what I would say is that it all sounds ok for now, chances are he was on numerous dating sites before he met you (this is very common for people who use dating sites) and now he has met you he is in the process of closing it all down. If you are really worried about all this then talk to him - relationships are all about communication, so if you are worried that he has other girls on the go - then tell him. Just sit down with him and say that you really like him, and you are enjoying your time together but you are just a little concerned that there may be other girls in his life from these other sites. Say to him 'I just want to know where I stand with you before we go any further, and I'm sorry for bringing it up but I just need you to be honest with me and let me know what you want from this relationship'.
Talking to him is the only way to solve this - we cant tell you as strangers who dont know either of you whether he is still talking to other girls or not. All you can do is talk to him, and then judge from his answers and behaviours whether he is talking to other girls or if he just wants you.
I hope this helps and good luck!
|
